"It's you whom I like, though." I assured.
Naramdaman ko ang ihip ng hangin matapos kong bitawan ang mga katagang iyoon. It was a spur of moment where I confessed not only to him, but also admitted to myself my real feelings. Na sa wakas, inamin ko rin sa sarili ko na hindi ganoon katigas ang puso ko para magkagusto at magmahal muli.
I always restrain myself from feeling these emotions because I know that when I fall, I fell hard. Yung tipong hindi na ako makakaahon sa oras na mawasak muli ang puso ko.
Hindi siya umimik pero ramdam ko ang tibok ng puso niya dahil sa paghigpit ng kaniyang yakap.
"Kailan pa?" he asked with his low voice.
Natigilan ako sa tanong niya. Kailan nga ba? Sa dami ng nangyari, hindi ko na nga namalayan na unti-unti na akong nahuhulog sa kaniya.
"I don't know. Maybe when that night you confessed to me? Cause after that, hindi ka na nawala sa isip ko." naiinis din ako sa tuwing hindi mo ako pinapansin... I kept that thought in my head. Nahihiya akong sabihin sa kaniya.
Suminghap siya at nilagay ang kaniyang noo sa balikat ko. Hindi makapaniwala.
We stayed that way for a while. Feeling each others warmth. His arms shielding my stomach from the cold because of his tight hug and his body covering my back.
I almost forgot that my tattoo is showing because of my top. But I just let if off the hook. I don't have to hide it anymore.
Hindi nakatakas sa akin ang mumunting halik na ginagawad niya sa aking balikat. Inubos ko ang laman ng beer bago ko ito nilapag sa tabi namin.
"Akala ko ba manliligaw pa lang? Bakit panay halik ka na?" hindi ko na napigilan.
He groanded and stopped his kisses. I chuckled at his reaction. Gigil eh.
"Will you be my girlfriend then?" he abruptly asked.
Napanganga ako, hindi makapaniwala. "Ilang oras ka pa nga lang na nanliligaw." natatawang puna ko.
"I can court you everyday, you know... Even if you're my girlfriend."
That sounds tempting, but I still want to tease him. Hmm sasagutin ko na ba? Our feelings are mutual kaya ba't ko pa patatagalin ang panliligaw niya? I'm not really that conservative pagdating sa ganitong bagay.
"Ngayon lang ako nakakita na nanligaw pero ilang oras lang tapos sila na agad?" I teased him.
"Yung iba nga walang label." he insisted.
I laughed at his remark. I didn't know he has this side. Kala ko puro trabaho inaatupag neto. May alam din pala siya sa mga ganitong ganap sa paligid.
"Really? Based on experience, perhaps?"
"You're the first girl that I like so much and the only one I courted."
My smile slowly faded because of what he said. I couldn't believe it... I'm the first girl he pursued. My heart clenched because of too many emotions.
I smiled again and let myself lean on him. "And you're the first man who had the guts to court me and wanted me to be your girlfriend."
"So, is that a yes?" he whispered.
I closed my eyes and listened to my heartbeat. I wanted to treasure this moment. This is foreign to me, so I wanted it to be special and make my heart and mind remember this night.
"Yes. I'm your girlfriend now" I whispered back.
Pabalik na kami sa restaurant pero parang baliw na nangingiti pa rin si Hunt. Pagkatapos ng sinabi ko ay hindi na siya umimik at panay halik na lang sa akin. I let him embrace me and let my self rest on his chest too. Being in his arms warmed my heart and relaxed my mind. His hug made me forget all my problems for a while. I never knew I'd feel something so magical in my entire existence.
We were greeted by the agents, who enjoy their drinks. May permiso naman galing kay General na mag-iinuman ngayong gabi. It will serve as our little rest time away from work. Besides light drinks lang naman ang pinahintulutan na inumin.
Bumalik kami sa mesa namin kaninang lunch kung saan ngayon nagkukwentuhan sina Yudis.
Hindi na nila napansin ang pagdating namin dahil abala na lahat sa inuman o kwentuhan.
"Saan kayo galing?" si Ace na ngayon ay umiinom ng beer.
She poured a shot for me which I gladly accepted.
"Sa labas lang." I said after drinking my shot.
Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay at bumaling sa banda nina Hunt na ngayon ay nakikipagtawanan na sa ibang naroon.
My heart jumped when I caught his gaze. He is watching me intently kahit sa pag-inom ng shot niya, nakatingin pa rin siya sa akin. Damn! He's hot.
Nag-iwas na lang ako ng tingin at nakipagkwentuhan kay Ace. Ayaw kong mabaliw katitingin sa kaniya..
My eyes met Rainela's stare. Nakatayo siya sa sulok at nakatingin sa banda ko. I almost forgot about her. Bahagya akong kinabahan sa kung ano man ang plano niya ngayon. She warned me about this. I just hope she won't hurt any of my friends if she doesn't want me to raise hell.
Mag a-alas nuwebe na at iilan na lang ang naroon. Nagpapahinga na siguro ang iba. Ngayon, kaming anim na lang ang natira sa mesa. Me, Ace, Red, Yudis, Hunt and Rex.
"Bonfire tayo!" anyaya ni Ace.
"Lezzzgo" si Yudis sabay tayo at inakbayan si Rex sabay hila palabas.
Nagsitayuan na kami at sumunod. The boys lit a fire sa shore. We chose the area away from the villas so we won't disturb the others. Medyo madilim na rin sa parteng ito.
Nakaupo na ngayon si Ace sa buhangin. Red sat beside her in the right side. Sa tabi naman ni Red si Yudis, Rex at si Hunt pagkatapos ay ako. We formed a small circle. Hunt made sure that there will be no space in between us. Hinayaan ko na lang siya.
"What now? Maglalaro tayo ng truth or dare like those in the movies?" Rex asked.
"Ayy himala umenglish. Lasing ka na ba tol?" Yudis joked and pointed at Rex.
"Hayaan mo na. Inlove ata yan doon kay Rainela kaya napapa-english na rin." Red laughed his ass off.
Rex blushed and just drank on his beer. Napapailing na lang si Hunt sa kanila.
"Bakit hindi mo ligawan? Mukhang single naman yon."
Napatingin ako sa tanong na iyon ni Yudis. I anticipated for Rex to answer it pero umiling lang siya.
"Malabo pre."
He is smiling a little, but that smile is a bit off. Is he really that in love with her?
"Malabo ang alin? Na single? O malabong magustuhan ka?" tawa ni Yudis.
"Baka both?" si Red naman, ginagatungan ang pang-aasar ni Yudis.
Hindi na sumagot si Rex at natahimik na. Tinamaan ata sa biruan. I watched him carefully. I want to read his mind, but he's too good at hiding his emotions.
"Tularan mo itong si pareng Hunt. Nililigawan na ngayon ang the apple of his eyes."
Namula ako sa sinabi ni Yudis. The attention is now on us.
"Oo nga. Kailan ka pa nagsimulang manligaw sa bestfriend ko?" Ace asked curiously.
Nagkatinginan kami ni Hunt. His eyes sparkled as the fire reflected on it. He smirked and turned to face his friends.
"Kanina lang."
"Ano?!" sabay-sabay nilang tanong.
Napatingin sila sa akin ngayon. Namula naman ako ng husto knowing that the reason why he courted me today was because of his jealousy. And the fact that sinagot ko agad siya ngayon din.
"Hanep naman, Par. Eh ano yung hatid-sundo at pahatid ng pagkain? Hindi ka pa pala nanliligaw non? Bakit ngayon lang? Pahingi-hingi ka pa ng advice sa akin tapos ngayon mo lang ginawa? Ang hina mo naman!" hindi makapaniwalang drama ni Yudis. Sa tono ng boses niya, parang dismayado siya sa galawan ng kaibigan niya.
"Bakit kaya?" malisyosang tanong ni Ace sabay taas-baba ng kilay.
Nagtatakang nagpabalik-balik ng tingin sa amin si Yudis. Kalaunan ay bigla itong umarteng gulat na gulat. His hand flew to his mouth.
"Huwag mong sabihing may nangyari nga kanina?! Anak ng--"
Namula ako at naalala ang halikan namin. Napainom na lang ako ng beer dahil pati ako hindi rin makapaniwala.
"Tss. Wala nga." giit ko pagkatapos tumingin kay Hunt.
He just raised his brow at me. At hindi pa talaga siya nakuntento. He went closer to me and held my waist, making Ace squealed.
"May manliligaw bang may pahawak na sa bewang?!" kantyaw ni Red.
"She's my girlfriend now." proud na sabi ni Hunt.
Natameme silang lahat. "Agad-agad?!" sabay nilang sigaw.
"Hoy! Hindi yan ang tinuro ko sa'yo Hunt." napailing pa si Yudis habang tinuturo si Hunt gamit ang bote ng beer.
"Yeah. I have my own ways." he said cooly.
Proud pa nga.
"At anong ways naman yan aber? Pikutin si Nyx?"
Hunt just laughed at Red's statement. He hugged me sideways kaya mas nagharumentado ang puso ko. I felt my cheeks flushed, but I'm pretty sure it's not visible because it's dark.
"Sabihin mo nga sa akin Nyx. Anong pang-uuto ang ginawa ni Hunt para sagutin mo agad siya?" pinasingkit pa ni Ace ang mata niya.
Lahat sila ngayon ay nakatingin na sa akin. They all looked at me like I'm the only one who can give reasonable answer dahil hindi sila kuntento sa sagot ni Hunt.
Aside from kissing me, wala siyang ibang ginawa para mapasagot ako. Oh I remember him saying he'd court me everyday.
"Our feelings are mutual. Besides we're too old for courtship"
I don't know why I said that. Totoo naman. Other girls prefer being courted, but exclude me. For me, you can get to know each other naman while you are in a relationship. I grew up having a broken family. My parents are not together anymore and I'm not aware of how they started. So partly, courtship will just take much of your time instead of spending it already with the label on it. Cause who knows when will your relationship last? You cannot predict how long when will you be together so I'd rather not waste any more time with those thing.
"Woah! I never knew you're this easy pala." si Rex naman ngayon.
My brows furrowed at that. "Well, it's not that I'm easy. I was just unaware of my feelings for him way back then, and I'd rather not pretend to be hard to get when in fact we both feel the same way."
They all looked shocked and amaze by my answer. Natahimik naman si Rex sa sinabi ko. Mas humigpit ang yakap ni Hunt sa akin. Ang ilong niya ay tumatama na sa pisngi ko, pero hindi ko na ito inalintana.
Hindi ko aakalain na ganito pala ang view ko sa isang relationship. Ngayong ko lang nakita na may ganitong side pala ako. Si Hunt lang naman ang mabagal. Kung matagal niya na akong niligawan, matagal na rin siguro naging kami.
Namula ako sa naisip. Talaga Zyl? Todo deny ka pa nga noong nakaraan eh.
"Grabe ikaw pa ba yan Nyx?" si Ace na hinawakan pa ang noo ko na parang may lagnat ako.
"Tama nga naman. Ba't pa patatagalin ang panliligaw kung gusto niyo ang isa't-isa?"
Red looked at Yudis after drinking on his bottle. "Depende yan sa babae, tol. Some girls want to be courted because they want to know if the guy is sincere or they just want to experience how it feels to be courted."
Hunt was silent all this time kaya binalingan ko siya. He moved a bit to look at me too. His eyes were a bit sleepy.
"You sleepy?" bulong ko.
Ngumuso lang siya at umiling. I just sighed and listened to what they were talking.
"At isa pa nasa lalaki rin yan kung mag-eeffort pa siyang manligaw sa pini-pursue niya. Still the decision depends on the girl." si Ace naman ngayon.
"Hmm, kaya ba isang buwan pa akong nanligaw sa'yo?"
Napamaang si Ace sa tanong ni Red. Yudis laughed. "Talo ka pala ni Hunt eh. Hina mo bro" he joked.
"Malay ko bang seryoso ka pala sa akin. Syempre test din yon noh kung totoo yung mga sinasabi mong 'I'll wait I'll-wait na yan'." Ace made a face.
Natawa ako sa kanila. They're cute.
"Oh ikaw Hunt. Panay yakap ka lang diyan. Ang clingy mo pala." Yudis teased.
"Shut up. Inggit ka lang."
Napanganga si Yudis at tinuro pa ang sarili niya. "Ako inggit? Excuse me! Over my dead hot body noh. Hindi ako magiging lovesick katulad ninyo! Mga mahihinang nilalang!"
"Wala lang nagkakagusto sa'yo, ganiyan ka na." balik ni Red na ngayon ay nakayakap na rin kay Ace.
"Anong-- si Rex din naman ah. Diba bro?"
Ang tahimik na si Rex ay nagtatakang tumingin kay Yudis. "Ba't nasali ako diyan? Ikaw lang. May nagkakagusto kaya sa'kin."
"Sino? Yung mga gustong tugisin ka?" natatawang biro ni Yudis.
They all laughed, but I remained serious as I watch how Rex's expression darkened. Hindi nila napansin iyon. He caught me looking at him. His jaw clenched and he tore his eyes off me.
"Uyy biro lang. Huwag ka ng magalit." suyo ni Yudis.
"Ayos lang." mapait na saad nito.
A moment of silence stretched as we watched the fire slowly burn the twigs of the tree.
"I'm curious..." Rex voiced out suddenly.
Napatingin kaming lahat sa kaniya.
"Will you fight for your love... even if it means it will ruin the people around you?"
He looks lost as he stares at the fire in between us. His voice was like a whisper. At dahil maliit lang naman ang space, rinig namin iyon. It was like it was on his head and the words came out unconsciously from his mouth.
"Bakit mo natanong? Anong kdrama ba yan at panonoorin ko?"
Hindi ko alam kung kailan ba magseseryoso itong si Yudis. Kahit saan, naipapasok talaga ang biro eh.
"I'm serious."
Ngumiti lang si Yudis at napaisip ng isasagot. He might've noticed that Rex is really serious.
"Why would you choose that person in the first place, kung alam mo naman palang ikasisira ito ng lahat?" Red concluded.
"Mahal mo eh."
I can sense it. He wanted to share something pero pinipigilan niya. These are his friends, but he couldn't open up to them. I want to hear his side and understand him pero wala ako sa lugar para pangunahan siya.
"If your love will cause the downfall of others... Especially your friends and family... Do you think it is worth fighting for?" hindi ko na napigilang isatinig iyon.
I felt Hunt's hugged loosened a bit pero humigpit din ulit. I want to knock some senses off Rex. Maybe that will be a wake up call for him.
He was lost of words. Or maybe that question made him think. He then looked at me and Hunt.
"Let's say that your relationship with Hunt will bring chaos, would you still fight for it?" he asked.
Naramdaman ko ang pagsinghap ni Hunt. I didn't mind him though. I felt my blood boiled at his question. Eto na ba? Is this what Rainela told him?
"Our relationship won't be in chaos if no one would dare ruin it." naramdaman ko ang paghigpit ng hawak ni Hunt sa bewang ko ng sabihin niya iyon.
Tiningnan lang kami ni Rex at tumango. He sighed, defeated. He just sipped on his drink bago tumayo.
"Gabi na. Pahinga na tayo." paalam nito sabay tapik sa balikat ni Yudis.
His words remained in my mind. Hindi ko alam pero kinabahan ako. Alam ko kung saan patungo itong sa amin ni Hunt pero sumugal pa rin ako. Because I want to prove to myself that I can fight for it. Hunt will understand and maybe he will accept me for who I am. I want to give it a try. And Daddy will understand too. I'll make him understand.
Nagpaalam na kami isa-isa at nagtungo sa villa. Nang makarating sa room, Hunt held my waist, stopping me from going inside. Nauna ng pumasok si Ace, hinatid din ito ni Red. Red just waved and said his goodnight, leaving me and Hunt alone outside.
"You fine?" he tucked my hair behind my ear as he watched me carefully.
I sighed and nodded. "Yeah. Thank you for tonight." I smiled at him.
He kissed my forehead. Hindi ko naiwasang mapapikit. His kiss on my forehead always make my heart flutter and make me feel at ease.
"Thank you for making me happy. For making my day so beautiful." he whispered and kissed my nose.
I smiled and watch his eyes glow in happiness. Even if it is dark, the moon highlighted his face, making me see how perfect it is.
He is my first boyfriend. Hindi ko naiwasang haplusin ang kaniyang pisngi. It felt like a dream. Noong nakaraan ginugulo niya ang puso at isipan ko. Hindi ko inakala na mahuhulog din pala ako sa bitag niya.
His expressive eyes always make me lose my senses. It always gives me chills. I never knew I'd be doing this with someone.
My eyes went down from his eyes to his nose and ended up on his lips. Napalunok ako ng maalala ang halikan namin dito kanina. Umiwas ako ng tingin at tumikhim. "I'll sleep now".
Bago pa ako makatalikod ay hinila niya ako palapit sa kaniya at hinalikan. Nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan. He held my nape and angled his face to kiss me more. I closed my eyes and kissed him back. His kisses made my mind blanked. He urged my lips to open for him and when I did, he inserted his tongue and taste every corners of my mouth. He tasted like beer and mint which added to the sensation I'm feeling.
I couldn't stop myself from moaning because of his kisses. He stopped and rested his forehead on mine. He hugged me tight and kissed my temple.
"Goodnight. Please dream of me."