Touch Starved
oreob1tch
Summary:
A graze of his fingers on the back of Jungwon's neck, a gentle slide of his hand down his back, innocent hand holding- it's only when Jay stops touching him that Jungwon realizes just how much he craves for it.
Notes:
They're all adults btw, even if there's nothing explicit.
(See the end of the work for more notes.)
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It's because Jay is always touching Jungwon, in one way or another. Be it soft touches on his back or neck, soft head pats, holding his hand or straight up hugging him, Jay is always in Jungwon's personal bubble, always with him; it's Jungwon's new normal. So when Jay suddenly stops, it not only hurts, but confuses the hell out of him. Everything seemed okay, then they went to bed and since the morning, Jay has been avoiding Jungwon like the plague.
The leader is used to his morning hug, his hyung slouching over Jungwon's figure, sleep-warm and cute. He's used to Jay's hand grazing the small of his back whenever he's passing by him, whenever he gets the chance, really. He's used to Jay whispering into his ear whenever he wants to tell him something as all of them are gathered in the living room, his soft lips touching the shell of Jungwon's ear. It's what Jungwon knows and what he expects . But suddenly, there's none of that. He treats him like any other member, so he's still very kind and patient with him; but Jungwon's always been Jay's favorite. More than others, he's always got a special treatment from Jay.
He tries to help Jay with dinner but the older man just smiles at him and tells him to just wait in the living room. It's infuriating. He doesn't even want help with the dishes after dinner. Even others picked up on it. Except for Riki, who was blissfully unaware because Jay suddenly took an interest in him, more so than usual. It shouldn't make Jungwon jealous, by any means, but it does. Why can Riki sit on Jay's lap and have his fingers played with but Jungwon can't? What's so special about him- oh. That's probably what others thought of me when Jay was all over me.
Sunoo, being the sweetheart that he is, takes Jungwon aside around midnight, before they're going to bed. "I asked Jake hyung to sleep in our room tonight." Jungwon just blinks, not really catching on. "Okay?"
"So you can sleep in Jay and Jake hyungs' room." Oh. Jungwon hugs Sunoo who hugs him back, chuckling. "Just tell him you like him already, damn it." It hits him then, why is he so upset that others get the same treatment he used to and he's not Jay's special one. As usual, Sunoo knows Jungwon better than he probably knows himself.
~~*~~
What's going on?"
"Huh?" Jay looks up from his phone. "What do you mean?" Jungwon, already in his pajamas, sits on Jay's bed, legs crossed. Jay reaches over to touch Jungwon's leg, then scoots right back immediately. Jungwon sighs, then moves closer again. Jay looks panicked as the leader enters his personal space, he can feel Jay's ragged breath on his face.
"You aren't touching me," Jungwon finally says. "I was waiting the whole day, but you didn't touch me at all. And you held yourself back just now." Jay still looks unsure and like he's coming up with good enough excuses. Jungwon is having none of it. "Hyung," he puts his hand on Jay's knee and waits to see if Jay removes it. If he just really doesn't want to touch Jungwon, doesn't want Jungwon, he's not going to force him, he never would. But he saw him holding himself back. "Hyung touch me."
"You have no idea what you're asking of me," Jay grits through his teeth.
"I know exactly what I'm asking of you." Once again, Jungwon moves even closer, legs spread over Jay's lap, hovering above him, waiting for a yes, a green light, to sit on him. Jay finally cracks, shaky hands coming to Jungwon's hips. At first, the leader is afraid Jay is going to push him off, he's afraid that he's been reading too much into it, that he's been projecting his feelings onto Jay's normal behavior. But then Jay grips his hips and pulls him in, Jungwon's ass right on his own thighs.
"You will run away from me, if I touch you the way I want," Jay says slowly, still holding Jungwon firmly. "It'll scare you off."
The younger man's heart is beating erratically, his pulse loud. Seeing Jay this upclose makes him go nuts. Jay's always been very attractive, and Jungwon's more than aware of that; now he's even more handsome, barefaced and dressed comfortably. It's something not even stage clothes and makeup can compare to.
"There's nothing that can scare me off when it comes to you, hyung." There's no space left between them. "I think you underestimate just how much I want to be touched." His lips are touching Jay's as he speaks. Neither of them pull away. "Kiss me, you coward."
Jay groans when his lips finally meet Jungwon's, fully, properly. There's tongue and teeth involved immediately. Jay kisses like he's been starving for Jungwon's mouth, the leader kisses back just as feverishly. "I want you all to myself, you don't understand," Jay mumbles in between kisses. It makes Jungwon whimper. "As if I wasn't all yours already, you walnut." Jay grabs fistfuls of Jungwon's shirt and kisses him even harder, before flipping them over. He looks even better as he's above Jungwon, his head is spinning.
"Why were you avoiding me?"
Jay's face turns pink. His lips are swollen from kissing. He's fucking beautiful.
"I had ... a dream about us," he finally admits. Jungwon cocks his head to the side. "That's it?"
"A.. special kind of dream, Jungwon. It freaked me out." It's Jungwon's turn to blush. Oh.
"It freaked me out when you stopped touching me all of a sudden," he says, slowly. "Don't do that ever again."
"So you do like it, when I touch you," Jay smirks before going in for another bruising kiss.
~~*~~
Jungwon is still half asleep, barely aware of what's going on around him, when Jake enters the room. Jay is pressed against Jungwon's back, holding his waist. Jake snorts. "You're a creep, staring at him like this."
"Bro, fuck off." Jay mumbles in English and hides his face in Jungwon's back, who still keeps his eyes closed.
"Finally told him that you were too horny for him so you had to take a step back?"
"I will hit you," Jay deadpans, his voice dropping lower when he speaks a different language. "Bet it didn't take Sunoo much persuading to get you to sleep in his bed. And I'm the creep?"
Jake groans something in protest before he leaves the room again with whatever he came in for.
"I know you're awake, by the way," Jay says as the door shuts closed. Jungwon smiles and opens his eyes. "Good morning, handsome." Jay chuckles, hair a mess. He's so cute. "Good morning, baby."