Forty
[Adam]
I wake up the next day when we're supposed to be heading to Makkah, Leen's phone rings and I pick up for her.
"Asslamu'alikom, Jenin," I say. "We're great alhamdulillah. Wait I'll get Leen for you." Leen comes out of the bathroom carefully. "It's Jenin!" I tell her and excitement showers her expression. That's how she's been since Jenin gave birth to Dema about a year ago. Days pass by really quickly. I cannot believe Leen and I have been married for over a year now. I cannot believe Jenin was pregnant when Leen had her first accident and then had a year-old child when Leen had her second accident. It all seemed to happen too fast. I can almost feel like the first day I saw Leen was yesterday, although it was... years ago!
"How's Zeyad and Dema?" I keep listening to their conversation.
Before Leen had her accident, she would buy a dozen presents for Dema every time she goes shopping. I miss those days-when she was excited to live, and when she wanted to make everyone as happy as she is. I miss when she wouldn't stop talking about Dema. I can't stand how she's a lot quieter now. I want her lively, like she always was.
"Let me talk to Dema-" I get lost in my own thoughts while Leen talks to her niece.
***
We reach the hotel in Makkah and Leen walks into the bathroom to wash her face and refresh. I throw my tired body on the bed and breathe; my phone rings and I take it out.
"Wa'likom Asslam mom," I say tiredly. "We're fine alhamdulillah, what about you?"
"Alhamdulillah habibi," she says softly. "Are you taking care of yourself Adam?"
"Yes I'm good," I smile, she'll never stop worrying no matter how old I'll become.
"I cannot know there's no one taking care of you and ignore it," she says with a sigh of disappointment.
"What are you talking about mom? Leen is taking care of me. Mariam is too."
"Poor Leen, will she look after herself or look after you?" she says sadly. "She barely can take care of herself, Adam. And Mariam won't be always there."
"Leen still looks after me though," I smile. "She does the best she can."
"Listen, Adam, I don't want to sound heartless or merciless, but I can't stop worrying about you no matter how hard I try to tell myself you'll be fine."
"What are you trying to say?"
"I want you to consider having a second wife, what about that? Allah had allowed men four wives, son."
Second wife?!
Mom must not be serious!
"What?" I exclaim then try to regain my composure and control my surfacing anger. "Mom I cannot remarry!"
"It's halal!"
"I know it's halal! I know I'm allowed four wives! I know all of this, and I'm not complaining! But why would I remarry if I'm happy with my wife? When Allah has given me better than what I had wanted?"
"Leen cannot take enough care of you!"
"And who would take enough care of her if I give her half the attention I do now?" I get on my feet. "Mom even Allah said we won't be able to do justice between women, even if we're keen on it. Whoever that second wife could be, I will not love her like Leen. I do not actually want her! Isn't that haram? To break the hearts of two girls?"
She sighs in defeat and disappointment. "Fine, Adam, if you think that's for the best."
"Yes I do think it's for the best." I reply quickly. "Mom, please don't ever bring up the subject again."
"We will see what happens." Of course she won't give a definite answer when she doesn't like what the other person is saying!
I end the phone call and throw myself once again on the bed when I glance Leen at the far corner of the room.
"Leen?" I sit up. "Why are you standing like this?"
"Maybe-" she breaks off when her voice shakes. "Maybe you should do like your mom says."
"Did you hear that?" I ask getting up and walking to her.
"Maybe she is right," she continues.
I stand in front of her and her head moves towards my voice when I speak, "She is not right and I'm not even thinking about it."
"She is concerned about you," she says. "She must be right."
"Not whatever the elders say is correct. Please just drop it."
"I know you will still take care of me," she tries to smile. "You are really good and you are caring, you will know how to care about me even if you're not with me all the time."
"Leen stop it!" I snap. "Let's take a short nap so we can focus while praying."
"Adam, you won't sleep anyway, so why are you lying?" she shouts. "Why do you run away every time we talk?"
"This isn't even worth talking! This is nonsense and you must've lost your mind to try to convince me! I'm not doing anything against my will!"
"You left your job for me, it was against your will!"
"It was my damn choice! I'm tired of repeating that everyday! I'm tired!" I grip her arm harshly-harsher than I meant to, "I will not give up on you," I say slowly, holding her close to my face, "I don't want anyone except you. And I will never have anyone except you, even if you want that." I let down her hand and walk towards the bed again and sit. "Leen," I call after a few moments.
"Y-yes?"
"Come here," I say and she walks slowly towards my voice. She approaches the bed and senses the air around her trying to find me. I grab her hand and pull her softly and sit her next to me, then put my head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry."
"No I am," she says with a smile. "And thank you."
"You don't thank your husband," I say and smile because it has become something like a secret saying between us, "you just love him."
***
That night Leen and Mariam stay in the masjid in front of the Kaaba after Al-Isha prayer while I leave to get some rest because my back hurts.
My phone gives out a short ring and I unlock it to find a message from Leen. Leen doesn't text now... Ever. I open to find it's an audio message, Mariam must have helped her send it. I listen to it, and by the end I find a smile on my lips and tears in my eyes. Leen has been through a lot, she has lost a lot, but she is still thinking about how to make me happy, she's doing the best she can.
And she did it so right.
It is strange how I love her so much that I feel there's no more I can take, yet I feel I can't love her enough. I want to always be by her side, and I want to make her happy like she makes me.
And I suddenly miss her.
I call her and she answers.
"Where are you?" I ask.
"We just came into the hotel," she says then pauses for a minute. "Did you... umm... listen to it? The... message?"
"I'm coming," I say hanging up and walking out of the room excitedly like a child running to his mother when she comes back from shopping.
I meet them in the lobby and I take Leen's hand from Mariam's. "I'll take it from here," I stick out my tongue at Mariam. She snorts and raises both her hands in surrender.
"Let's go have dinner somewhere," I suggest.
"Okay!" Leen agrees.
"Why not," Mariam shrugs and glances at the elevator. "Did you tell Ahmed? He'll be mad if we go without him," she says casually. I still can't get over how weird this is, it doesn't feel right, but maybe they're the best for each other like Leen said. Maybe that will make them finally happy, and I can't be so selfish and stop it because of my own feelings.
"I texted him," I reply, trying to master a casual tone. "He'll be down in a minute."
Both of them nod.
"I listened to it," I whisper in Leen's ear. "It's the best gift I've ever received. Can't wait for more."
"I already have a new one ready," she smirks.
***
On our way back to the hotel, Mariam and Leen walk in front of us and we chatter.
"Adam," Ahmed starts quietly. "There's this thing I wanted to talk to you about."
"What is it?" I say turning my head to him.
He looks ahead of us and when he makes sure they won't hear us he starts, "Maybe it's weird, and I don't feel it's good to ask you that..." I think I'm starting to know what he's talking about, but I let him finish anyway. "Just because I started thinking about it, I knew you are the only person I should tell, it'd be dishonest to keep it to myself any longer."
"Not only because I'm you friend," I smile.
He looks at me and raises an eyebrow, "Y-yes..."
"Go on," I say.
"If you think I'm suitable for Mariam," he says cautiously, "and if you think she would agree, and if it's okay with Omar and you, I would like to ask for her hand."
God, that was quick!
"What?" I ask as if I know nothing at all, but I didn't think he'd already talk about marriage so soon.
"I know it might seem out of the blue, but-"
"That's not the issue," I cut him off. "I mean I didn't think you liked her that much.. I thought what you were going to tell me now is just that you like her."
"You know I wouldn't talk about her unless I was serious," Ahmed says seriously and it hits me how he is actually better than I am.
"I've thought a lot about it, you know it's been a while since I broke up with Reham, and all the time now I'm asking myself how I considered her from the beginning when I knew Mariam. Reham is not like me, never was and never was going to be; I don't know what I was thinking. I think I care for Mariam, more than I used to, more than being like her brother."
"I see," I nod slowly. Maybe talking about the whole thing is uncomfortable but it's essential. "We have to make sure she likes you though-I mean the same way."
"Yeah sure," Ahmed agrees. "That's the most important part."
***
"Leen," I call when we're back in the room at night.
"Yes?"
"Ahmed told me he likes Mariam today, and he asked for her hand..."
"WHHAAAAT???" she screams. "Oh my God! I MEAN OH MY GOD! Tell me what happened exactly."
"You're... crazy." I shake my head then start telling her the whole conversation.
"Wait," she raises her hand to stop me, "are you saying he doesn't know if she likes him?"
"Yes," I reply.
"IS HE BLIND?" she gasps. "Wait, I am..." she laughs and I laugh too.
"Leen come on."
"Seriously though, how can't he know she likes him?"
"She likes him?!" I ask in a shock and Leen covers her mouth.
"Well..."
"I thought you said you didn't know," I say to make her feel guilty.
"I know," she sighs. "It's supposed to be a secret but since it's getting serious and he's asking for her hand I think you should know."
"So you think we should make it official?" I ask in puzzlement.
"Of course! Do you want me to talk to Mariam?"
"Would you?" I ask gratefully.
"Of course I would!"
"Thank you." She gets up and squeezes me in a bear hug.
"You're the best!"
The next morning we meet with Mariam and Ahmed in the hotel restaurant for breakfast. I make a plate for Leen and leave her eating to make myself one. I see Ahmed by the juices, and Mariam is choosing bread next to me.
"Mariam," I say. "Di-did Leen talk to you about... about Ahmed?"
Mariam nods. "Yes we did a little chat on our way back from Al-Fajr prayer."
"I'm sorry I wasn't the one to talk to you about it-"
"It's okay really," she smiles. "Leen is just great, seriously you're both lucky you found each other and I'm always feeling at ease knowing you have her."
"And what about you?"
"What about me?"
"Do you agree to marry Ahmed?"
"I'm not gonna tell you to let me think about it because I thought a lot," she says honestly. "I think it wasn't possible at first, considering the fact that he has never thought about me that way-"
"I think he had it in mind for a while now," I say.
"He's a good guy," she smiles. "Maybe he screwed up in his first relationship but I know he wasn't the reason, so I might as well give him the chance."
I smile despite the weird feeling I can't get over.
I think we'll have to tell mom and Omar soon.
~~~
I know it took me too long to update but I don't know why I just couldn't write :(
Anyway guys I've started writing a new story, so I was hoping to know if any of you would maybe like to read something else I write?
Another thing is that we're nearing the end now, I think we have only about 5-6 chapters left, I want to know what you think of Emeralds overall, and I'll love to know more about it when it's over! I want to know your favourite character and if there's anything you disliked (it'll help me a lot in my writings you know).
At last I wanna thank you for reading, for voting and for your very beautiful comments. They always made me happy!
May Allah accept all your prayers and Quran reading and fasting, and may we all be rewarded inshallah.
Nouran.