𝗦𝗛𝗘 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗦
CHAPTER SIX!
〔 Season one, episode two 〕
𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲 𝑨𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑪𝑳𝑨𝑹𝑲𝑺, Cassandra looked at herself in the mirror bringing a cloth to her head, she started to clean the cut on her forehead, she stared at herself, her eye's raw and red, She couldn't believe her dad was gone. She couldn't believe what was going on. It felt like she had taken one of Nick's drugs and was living in a sick hallucination
Cassandra took her Jean Jacket off throwing it on the side, running her hand through her hair, she headed towards the main room. But before entering she listened to the end of Madisons and Nick's conversation.
"It's-- it's like, it's not real"
"It is" Madison reassured her son "It's real"
Cassandra's nails dug into the wooden frame as she poked her head out to see why it had gotten quiet
"You saved us" Madison took his hand "You had no other choice"
Nick breathed heavily taking his mother's hand, he sighed. He had to do it, for his family. For Cassandra, he had to keep his promise
"I'm about to step into...a world of shit" Nick smiled "You know that, right?"
"Yeah"
A small smile crossed Cassandra's face, his world finally scared him enough to come back to hers...to come back to her -
But it was to late, her world was dying.
Madison took her leave out of the room, passing Cassandra with sympathetic eyes.
Cassandra looked down knowing she was so close to breaking
Nick's eyes snapped up as he heard Cassandra enter the room worry in his eyes. He stood up, meeting her in halfway, he placed his hands around her neck gently, making her look in her eyes
"Tell me what you want me to do?" He told her, his voice cracking. He was in pain, he was in withdrawal, he killed his best friend. And he felt guilty and her eyes reflected his
- she was in pain. From him. From losing her father.
And she knew things are only going to get worse, his withdrawal if he stays clean and with what was happening with the world but she always hid her true pain. In fear he would run again...she couldn't do it anymore
She felt her eyes well up, a soft whimpering
"Tell me, do you love me more then your sins?"
"Yes" with no hesitation the answer slipped off Nick's tongue
"Then, why?" Cassandra whispered pushing him back, all her pain from the past making its way to the surface and yes Maybe she was also misplacing her grief but Nick needed to see the extant of the pain he caused her
Nick was shocked when she pushed him away, he knew he caused her pain but watching her now with the tears falling down her face - he relieses he never knew the extent of it. She was protecting him
"Baby-"
"Why Nick, was I not Good enough for you?. Was your family not good enough for you?. Nick I loved you with everything I had" Cassandra was almost shaking with anger
"You break promises after promises and I don't even blink an eye. Everytime I'm by your side. Nick I know you love me but I can't do it anymore, my dad is gone so now your all I have and I can't lose you to"
Nick watched guilt ridden, he tried to pull her into his arms but she fought him at first. Her small fists pounding on his chest and he knew deserved every hit but then she finally let him wrap his arms around her exhausted she fell into him He held her as tight as he could to still allow her to breathe
"I wish I never caused you any of this pain" he mumbled in her ear as she clutched his jacket in her fist holding onto him because he was the only thing holding her up
"I am so sorry about your dad"
〕〔
CASSANDRA SAT WITH NICK'S HEAD ON HER LAP, sweat boring down his face, she tried to hold him still as Madison called the doctors
"Alicia" Cassandra yelled "we need a bucket"
Cassandra pulled a blanket over Nick as he fidgeted from withdrawal, Cassandra tried to soothe him but he was in to much pain. Alicia walked into the room with the bucket placing it infront of Nick
"Hang in there, big brother." He patted his shoulder as Nick breathed heavily
Cassandra held his hands drawing patterns on them, she felt helpless watching him suffer
"We're gonna get your medicine, okay"
"The longer we leave him, the worse he gets" Alicia sighed
"I know, I'm aware"
"He won't be able to travel"
"Alicia" Madison snapped
Nick pulled himself closer to Cassandra as he mumbled in her side
"Can I get another blanket?"
Alicia quickly handed Cassandra another blanket which the brunette took, wrapping Nick in it, before picking up a cloth and Wiping the sweat off his face
"Mom what are you gonna do?" Worry laced in Alicia's words
"I don't know. Dr. Han's not calling me back and now I can't even reach Travis"
Cassandra ran her hand through Nick's hair, she hated seeing him in pain and she couldn't do anything about it, he was doing this for her
"Yeah, I mean it's like after an earthquake. Circuits are overloaded"
"Do either of you have anything stashed?" Alicia questioned
"No" "Of course not"
"What about the vicodin for my wisdom teeth?"
"I flushed 'em" Madison replied
"It's dangerous for him to go cold turkey like this"
"I know. I know"
"It's okay, I'm okay" Nick whispered, head still buried in Cassandra's side, his body shaking
"The doctors, you can pick 'em up"
Sirens passed past the house, Cassandra brown orbs focusing on the flashing lights as she held Nick close to her
"Watch him" she hardly heard Madison's voice
Cassandra only came back to reality when Nick rolled onto the floor, groaning and hiding his face in the floor. Cassandra just rolled her eyes, what on earth was he doing?
"What are you doing?" She giggled
"I'm glad my pain is enjoyable for you"
"Self inflicted pain" Cassandra reminded him
"Big words. I'm in pain enough I don't need to be reminded of how smart you are - or how smart my sister is"
Alicia walked in noticing Nick on the floor and shooting Cassandra a funny look only to notice the large smile on her face, trying to hold back her laughs
The Clark sister placed the bowl on the side
"Here"
Nick Crawled up barley being able to lift his head
"Oh, can't do hot now" he fell back down
"I'll make gazpacho next time." Alicia's emotionless voice answered
"Yeah. Its gonna end up in the bucket"
Cassandra pulled a disgusted face before handing Nick some water
"I'm not thirsty. Water's is not what I need" Nick snapped slightly, regret instantly filling his eyes. He reached out for her hand, she gave him a soft smile
"I know" Cassandra whispered knowing he was trying to apologise
"Yeah, we know what you need, Nick." Alicia glanced at the two with worried eyes
"Mom's working on it"
Nick bent over the bowl smelling it before turning around and vomiting straight in the bucket, making Cassandra gag a bit, she was never good with people vomiting.
Cassandra stood up leaving Nick as he practically threw his guts up, she walked to where Alicia was watching the party across the street
"It's her party, she will cry if she wants to"
Alicia stood up so fast it almost gave Cassandra whiplash, Cassandra stared in confusion Alicia's plans only becoming clear when she returned wearing her bag
"Whoa, Whoa. Where are you going" Nick started "Hey. Alicia"
"I'll be fast"
"Alicia it is not safe" Cassandra jumped up walking quickly towards the door as Nick tried to stand up
"No, no, no, no. Hey you can't go back there."
"I have to go" Alicia argued
"Hey!, you promised mom." Nick shouted just as Cassandra hand reached the door and when she did she saw something snap in Alicia's eyes at Nicks words, she watched unable to do anything to defend Nick or to help Alicia because she knew they both needed this. The same way she did.
Alicia needed to let her real emotions out.
"You make promises all the time, Nick" Alicia's voice raised as Nick tried to stand "Lie down"
"I'm an asshole, I'm an asshole" Nick dropped raising his hands in defence
"Okay but listen please, if you leave you won't come back. Please" Nick begged crippled on the floor
"He's right Alicia. It's dangerous out there" Cassandra whispered "I'm not taking his side. I'm not. I want you safe" the brunette defended as she looked at the younger girl
"You let Mom go"
"Not safe. No matt!. Matt is not safe." Nick rambled on the floor
"He's sick Alicia" Cassandra spoke trying to make Alicia understand better. Make it clearer then Nicks rambling but how could she when she didn't even know what was happening. She watched the dead rise, she saw the emptiness in her fathers eyes, she watched that video when the man only went down with a kill shot and now her boyfriend was sick. None of it was adding up, the only thing that is consistent is death and panic
"Alicia. You don't get what it makes people do. You don't know what I had to. Alicia!" Nick shouted
"What did you have to do?!" She yelled back running out of the door
Cassandra sighed she wanted to go after her but she couldn't leave Nick, she walked to his side as he continued to yell trying to stand up
"Matt will hurt you! , he will kill you. Alicia I'm-" Nick collapsed mid sentence, making Cassandra panic and run to his side
"No, no, no " her worried voice shouted as she tried to push his body on his side as he started vomiting "Nick" she screamed, his vomit shooting out
Alicia came running back in the house her eyes widening at the scence in front of her, Cassandra trying to hold Nick up on his side as the puke shot out of his mouth and his body shook from withdrawal "help me!"
"No, no, no, no, Not now!" She shouted dropping to her knees to help Cassandra
"Nick" Cassandra yelled As she grabbed his head, seeing the whites of his eyes, she knew he was choking on his vomit, she cringed forcing his mouth open as Alicia held his body still
"Shhh" Cassandra whispered, as she felt him relax in her arms "its okay, breath"
But she was also telling herself to breath because she stopped when he did
〕〔
CASSANDRA GAGGED AS SHE CLEANED THE PUKE OFF THE FLOOR, the sound of the brush scraping across the floor hurting her ears. Alicia chose to sit in her room not wanting to leave Cassandra but to worried about Matt to focus.
"I'm sorry" Nick apologised laying on the couch, his tanned skin paled
Cassandra ignored him not wanting to take in more of the smell of his puke and maybe she just didn't want to talk to him, she knew she couldn't do this again. If he went back to drugs after this, she was done.
Nick turned around at the silence watching her how a strand of her long brown hair had been missed when she put her hair into a pony tail and how it fell perfectly beside her eye but he wasn't surprised everything about her was perfect to him
- he watched as her nose scrunched up at the smell and how he knew she wanted to be sick to
"Thank you" He mumbled, Cassandra looked up her eyes connecting with his, the silence pained Nick and she knew this. Which is why she never was quite with him
"I love you" he whispered a last attempt to hear her voice, he looked at her waiting for her to respond, his heart aching at every second that went past
"I know" she whispered not being able to say it back. She loved him. Of course, she did anybody with eyes could see it, but she couldn't keep giving that power to a man who clearly didn't want to live anymore. Even though she knew he always would have that power even she pretended he didn't - but those two words broke Nick more then anything because no matter what, Cassandra had always told him, she loved him back if he said those Words. Even if she was in the middle of screaming at him and he only said it so she would stop and she knew it was the only reason but she still said it back.
Nick looked at her with hurt eyes but with understanding. His mouth parted to say something when the lights flickered
Making Cassandra's eyebrows furry and Alicia shout from her room
"What happened?"
〕〔
CASSANDRA SAT ON THE FLOOR BESIDE NICK'S HEAD WHEN MADISON CAME HOME,
"How's your brother?" Madison questioned Alicia
"Never better" Nick replied, sitting up to look over the couch. He looked down at Cassandra who was already looking at him with her brown orbs, a small smile covered his face as he admired her
"What are you looking at Nick?" She giggled
"My pretty girl" Nick replied kissing the top of her head as he ran his hand down her ponytail tugging on the bottom of it to make her pull her head back, leaning in to kiss her
"'Don't even think about it Nick. You just threw up more then a baby" she scolded him, making him sigh and flop back onto the couch
Cassandra sighed hearing the rattling of pills from where Madison stood, she looked towards Nick and saw the manic look in his eyes. The blonde walked over handing her son some of the pills
"We ration those"
"Oxy?, Oxys good. how much?" Nick asked, his eyes that where once mesmerised by Cassandra now stuck on the oxy
"It's enough to get us to the desert"
"And then what?" Nick questioned as he smashed the pills on the table, making Cassandra shake her head and stand up. Nick not even realising.
Madison stared at Nick with a disappointed look making him try and take the focus off him by clicking his fingers and pointing towards Alicia's room
"She tried to leave" Madison's head shot towards Alicia "Yeah. I stopped her" Nick whispered
Cassandra walked away from them both and headed towards Nicks room, wanting to change her clothes as she dumped her bags in there. Her eyes glancing at all the pictures Madison had hanged up or rested on the side. A smile gracing her face at the one of her and Nick that she took when Alica was distracting him and the picture of the three of them dressed up in Nice clothes
If only she knew none of them would ever be the same again.
After Cassandra changes her clothes, putting on one of Nick's shirts and another pair of jeans. She walked back out into the main room only to realise all the power had gone out
"Tell me, what's going on?" Alicia said to her Mom but before Madison could answer a loud ear shattering scream was heard from outside
'Oh,god" all three girls ran to the windows
Madison and Cassandra shared a look before Madison quickly pulled the curtains shut
"Don't look, Don't look" Madison told them wanting to shield them both but she knew Cassandra had already seen enough and Alicia was bound to eventually
"Mom, Mr Dawnsons hurting them"
Cassandra kept walking backwards as the screaming continued, only stopping when Nick reached his arm wrapping his hand around Cassandra wrist gently tugging her down towards him bringing her into his arms covering her ears But nothing could silence those screams
Alicia tried to run out the door arguing with Madison as she stopped her, knowing there was nothing they could do.
Nothing anyone could do.