TW: This chapter contains scenes that have themes of PTSD nightmares, Child Abuse, low mental health and strong language. There is also a sexual scene towards the end. If that's not for you please don't read it! Also notice the Little Women reference at the end of the chapter because Maia is so Amy March coded.
Look after yourself and stay safe! G <3
The excerpt about Horcruxes was taken directly from the Harry Potter Wiki Page <3
I would recommend listening to Gilded Lily (Sped Up) - Cults for the first half of this chapter and then Washing Machine Heart - Mitski for the Nott Manor scenes. hehehe enjoy!
August 1st 1996
Unnamed Café
Muggle London
6pm
As Maia sat in the small leather booth in the far corner of the café, she watched as her words sunk into Hermione's mind, her eyes big brown eyes widened, water forming at her lash line, the lines in her forehead furrowing together. Maia felt drained, she had turned this witch's life upside down in a matter of hours, broken her heart and told her that the villain in their story might have achieved immortality. Her heart ached for Hermione. She'd had weeks to come to terms with all of this, Hermione had hours. She had also had to hear Theo shagging bloody Daphne Greengrass which did not make her list of top 10 mornings, lost in her mind she barely registered the witch in front of her talking again.
"Godric! If you're right Maia this will be far more complicated to win the war. Promise you will tell me if you find something in the library?" Hermione pleaded.
Maia jerked her head, pulled from her thoughts "Of course Granger, but it's too dangerous to try and get in touch again before school starts. I promise I'll tell you anything I find when we get back okay?" Maia vowed.
Hermione nodded her head in response, worry still swirling around her golden-brown eyes.
Maia reached into her bag and pulled out the pouch of muggle money that Theo had acquired for her and slid it over to Hermione. The witch looked puzzled.
"What's this for?" she probed. "Godric Maia why is there so much of it?" she continued, fingering through the muggle notes in the pouch.
"I need you to buy me muggle clothes for when we go into hiding, if all I have is wizarding robes, they will know who I am straight away, and these robes aren't exactly made for running for your life" Maia joked. "Just get me some of those muggle jeans you wear and jumpers, you'll know better than I would. Bring them with you in your trunk and I'll sneak them from you when we get back to Hogwarts. Keep whatever money is left over, I can't be spotted with muggle money."
Hermione was still writing everything down as Maia was talking, 'such a swot' Maia smirked to herself.
"Of course, I'll do that Maia but I'm not keeping the money!" Hermione declared.
Maia just rolled her eyes "I swear to Salazar all you Gryffindors are so bloody self-righteous, if you won't keep it then donate it to one of those muggle charities, you're always going on about" she snipped.
Hermione just smirked and nodded her head.
"I'll need to head home now Maia, Mum and Dad will be expecting me home for dinner".
Maia watched as the witch packed away all her things, parchment, money the like as she stood up slowly with her, she was enveloped in a hug again by the witch, her curls tickling Maia's nose. She leaned into Maia's ear.
"Just because we have run out of time doesn't mean you got out of telling me about what your father has been doing to you Maia." She whispered.
'Fucking Gryffindors' Maia thought to herself as she hugged the witch back. She just nodded her head, it was futile to fight against Granger when she wanted answers. The witch pulled back and headed toward the door before giving Maia one last look.
"Restricted section Granger? Yeah?" Maia insisted.
"Restricted Section Maia" Hermione vowed, the click of the bell above the door she was gone.
Maia packed up all her belongings neatly into her bag, left some muggle money on the table and started the walk back to Diagon Alley to go home. Maia's head was swimming, she just needed a distraction, something to quiet down her mind, she was far too exhausted to occlude.
August 1st 1996
Malfoy Manor
6:30pm
As Maia stepped out of the fireplace and into Draco's room, she realised he still wasn't home,
'What the fuck did that psychopath have him out doing all day without magic?' she thought to herself. She was about to leave and sneak back into her room until she remembered the second drawer down next to Draco's bed was where he hid his own distraction method. Maia pulled open the drawer and found it. A bottle of Firewhiskey. She grabbed it and was about to sneak it into her robes when the door opened. Draco was home. 'Typical' she muttered to herself. She didn't even make eye contact before he started shouting.
"Where the fuck have you been all day?"
"You could have gotten killed going out on your own!"
"Is that my shitting Firewhiskey?"
Maia just looked at him, she physically didn't have the energy to talk about this right now, her bones felt tired, her mind was on the verge of snapping she just wanted to be alone.
"I'm taking this" she responded in a monotone voice, shaking the bottle at him. As she tried to walk past him, he stood at the doorway blocking her path, he grabbed her arm.
"Maia, what the fuck is going on? Why aren't you talking to me? You always talk to me?" he challenged her. She just gave a deep sigh before replying.
"I'm tired Draco. Later? Okay?"
He didn't seem fully convinced by her response, but he let go of her arm and off she went to her room.
Maia was just tired of knowing everything and not being able to talk about it, she could feel the weight of her secrets and lies on her shoulders, grinding down her bones, and her body felt heavy. Her heart hurt and her mind was on fire.
She took off her bag before stowing it away safely under the floorboard, she threw off her robes and placed the whiskey on her bedside. She changed into her nightdress and climbed into her bed. The plush feeling of her pillows supporting her head, she tried to focus on how the silk sheets felt on her skin, but it was no use. Her mind wouldn't stop. She sat up and grabbed the Firewhiskey, unscrewing the lid, her hand was shaking.
Her mind was flooding with images, flashing through her worst memories or worse things yet to come.
'Granger breaking down over Draco's sacrifice' Drink
'The sound of Draco screaming the night he got the mark' Drink
'Lying to Harry about everything for a year' Drink
'Not being able to tell Draco what's going on' Drink
'Voldemort's possible immortality' Drink
'Her father's face when he saw her fighting against them at the Ministry' Drink
'Bellatrix torturing her' Drink
'The night her father broke her nose' Drink
'The sound of Theo shagging Daphne Greengrass' DRINK DRINK DRINK
'Everyone she cared about being dead' DRINK
The Firewhiskey didn't even burn Maia's throat, it just dulled her mind and any feeling in her body. She hadn't even felt herself sobbing, she gently touched her face and felt the tears spilling down. The bottle now empty, she heard it clatter to the floor as she curled up into a ball under the sheets. The darkness taking over.
CRUCIO -
I wish you were dead –
You are no child of mine! –
You are entirely unlovable -
No one would miss you –
You're fucking pathetic, really fucking pathetic! –
You weren't wanted! We only wanted an heir and here we are landed with extra baggage! –
You're a Malfoy! You're SCUM! –
"Theo I thought you said No one was home?" –
August 2nd 1996
Malfoy Manor
8am
Maia's nightmare sprang her awake, sweat-slicked all over her body and her heart was hammering in her chest. She quickly checked all over her body to make sure it was in a nightmare, she had to check she hadn't actually been abused again, her body was fine but inside she was shaken up. Her mind ran through the same things she had seen in her nightmares, her father's vicious words, she peeled herself out of bed, the silk sheets sticking to her sweaty body. As she slowly stood up, she felt it. All the whiskey from the night prior made her head split with pain, she clutched her forehead as she felt the stabbing pain continue.
'Fucking Salazar, just great!' she cursed to herself.
Maia made her way to the bathroom and slipped into the shower, the hot water bouncing off her skin, it was like the steam was clearing out her head of all the bad memories she was forced to relive. The steam continued to relax her, and she figured she could occlude, she would need it today if she was to spend a day around Theo with a hangover from the 7th circle of hell. She went into her mind, filing everything away, building the first wall, then the other and so on until she managed to build up the steel wall and everything else just melted away with the shower steam and the water down the drain. Maia slowly sank down the shower wall, the weightless feeling taking over as her mind was finally quiet, she let the water bounce off her, and she watched it drip down her hair as she just stared at the ceiling. She didn't want to get out, she wanted to remain numb.
9 am
Malfoy Manor
Maia finally pried herself out of the shower and got dressed in her robes, she needed a hangover potion, and she needed it fast.
She would probably have to ask Draco which would lead to an uncomfortable conversation about her bluntness and refusal to speak to him last night. Maia walked over to the floorboard and secured her bag, double-checking that all her rolls of parchment were still there before calling out as she sat down on the chair.
"Mippy?" - crack!
"Good morning, Mistress Maia! How can Mippy help you today?" the cheerful elf asked.
"Hello Mippy. I was wondering if you could possibly make a trip out to Surrey? I haven't heard back from Harry, and I'm just worried about him..." she trailed off.
The elf looked up at her concerned, Maia felt the small elf's hand gently rub her shoulder.
"Of Course, Mistress! Mippy will head out right away!" she chirped.
"Thank you so much Mippy. You're ever so kind." Maia proclaimed. "I'll be over at Nott Manor all day so if he has a message for me could you deliver it there?"
"Yes, Mistress. Mippy hopes you have a good day!" and with a crack, she was gone.
Maia stood up and walked to Draco's room, she needed that potion now, her head was splitting. She rapped on the door, not sure if he would be awake yet, slowly the door creaked open and her twin brother stood in front of her, dressed in his Death Eater robes.
"Are you going to let me in or just stare at me Draco?"
"Watch your fucking tone Maia" he snipped before letting her in. She rolled her eyes.
"Do you have any hangover potion? My head is splitting."
"I might do. Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on with you? Where you were yesterday?"
"I was in muggle London."
"Who with? Why?'
"I can't tell you who I was with yet. Muggle London is safer, less eyes and ears everywhere".
She watched as he crossed his arms, frustration creeping onto his face, as he stared into her steel eyes.
"Why are you occluding around me? We don't do that. Why are you keeping secrets from me Maia? This isn't you!" he yelled.
Maia's anger was building inside her, the hangover wasn't helping her ability to keep it together.
"I AM TRYING TO KEEP YOU ALIVE DRACO." She shouted back. "I'm trying to keep everyone alive." She sighed deeply.
"What about yourself Maia? Are you not concerned about your own life? Look at you! Whatever you're up to its eating you alive! Do you not value your own life?" he fumed.
"My life isn't as important right now! It's only eating me alive because I can't talk to anyone about it! I can't tell anyone anything whilst we still live in this fucking house of nightmares!" she ranted.
"I just want summer over, I'm tired Draco. Every day I'm here I'm reminded of the fact I wasn't wanted, that my own father despises my very existence and the only person who has ever loved me just sacrificed everything for me...I'm just trying to make sure I am worthy of it, that I deserve it."
He looked at her worry filling his eyes, he reached out for her shoulder and pulled her into a hug.
"I'm sorry Maia" he muttered.
"I'm sorry too Draco" she whispered back.
He stepped away from her, walked over to his desk, grabbed a bottle of green potion, and placed it in her hands.
"Here, take it for your head".
"Thank you." She smiled as she took out the potion stopper and drank the potion as quickly as she could, the liquid melted down her throat, and she felt the buzzing in her head slowly become more bearable. The pain slowly subsided in her brain.
"Where are you off to anyways?" he quizzed.
"Theo's. I need to use his library. I figured he might have different sources and texts available that we don't have here that could help me answer the question I spent over a week trying to solve here." She replied as she walked over to the fireplace.
He looked at her clearly curious wanting to ask more but she threw him a scowl.
"I'm assuming you'll tell me more once we are back at Hogwarts?" he probed.
"Yes, I'll tell you everything," Maia promised. "Did you know Theo is shagging Daphne Greengrass?" Maia questioned him.
"Greengrass? No? How did you find that out?"
"I was the unfortunate one who happened to hear them going at it" she griped.
"Are you okay?" he asked her, concern filling his eyes.
What was he getting at? Did he somehow know of her feelings for Theo? That's not possible.
"Yes? Why wouldn't I be? It's none of my business who or where Theodore decides to bury himself inside as 'stress relief'" she clipped back.
"Ahh... I see. So, you're in denial?" he smirked at her.
"In denial about what Draco?" she snipped back at him.
"Oh, come off it Maia. I'm your brother, I'm your twin I know when you're in love" he quipped.
"I haven't the faintest idea what you're on about Draco." she said firmly.
He rolled his eyes at her.
"Fine, deny it but we both know it's true" he goaded.
She stepped into the fireplace grabbing some powder and he spoke again.
"You owe me a bottle of Firewhiskey by the way Maia" he sneered.
She stuck her middle finger up at him before calling out.
"Nott Manor"
With a flash of green flames, she was gone.
August 2nd 1996
10 am
Nott Manor
As Maia stepped out of the fireplace at Nott Manor, she laid eyes on the wizard sitting on the sofa in front of her, he was wearing another one of his suits 'Salazar help me' she thought to herself', their eyes connected and she could feel Theo analysing every inch of her, it made her insides fire up, the warmth spreading through her body.
"Good morning Mai, care to tell me why you're occluding?" he quizzed her.
'I'm so fed up with this shitting question' she thought to herself.
"I have a hangover from the 7th circle of hell, it dulls it slightly" she clipped.
"A hangover huh? What did you and Granger do? Go to a bar?" he probed whilst laughing.
"A café actually. I had some muggle drink called a latte? I'm still not entirely sure what it is. I stole Draco's Firewhiskey when I came home." She remarked she could still feel him eyeing her up and down. What was he trying to work out?
"Since when did Maia become such a fan of Firewhiskey?" he teased her.
"Since I needed a moment of peace and quiet. Can we move on Theodore? I'm really not in the mood." She grumbled.
He rolled his eyes at her.
"Yeah, I'm fine thanks for asking" he muttered. "Why you are in such a sour mood Maia?"
"I hate when you call me that." She seethed. "I'm just hungover and exhausted. Can I still use the library please?"
He kept on looking at her, staring at her, Maia felt like she was on trial at the shitting Ministry.
"Sure, this way, follow me" he instructed.
Maia followed him down the long hallway of Nott Manor until they reached the doors to the library. Nott Manor library was very similar to the one at Malfoy Manor, with long bookshelves that seemed to go on endlessly, stacked with books, and dark wooden furniture but the walls were a dark purple instead of emerald, green. He led her in, Maia felt his hand on the small of her back, and her veins began with their incessant humming. She tried her best to ignore it, but it made her veins crackle and tingle. As his hand left her back, she felt the sensation fizzle away.
"So, this is the library, I'm assuming you don't need to look at books on transfiguration for first years?" he joked as he turned to look at her leading her down the shelves.
"Without saying anything too directly I need books on Dark Magic, anything pertaining to dark objects, soul magic and the like." She instructed. Maia noticed his face slacken.
"Merlin's fucking tit Mai, what have you gotten yourself into?" he probed. "Let me guess you can't tell me?" he scoffed. 'Typical' he muttered under his breath, clearly thinking she couldn't hear.
She kept a firm face not showing emotion.
"Fine, Keep your fucking secrets. It's not like you could trust your best friend of nearly 17 years anyway" he snipped. She kept her face the same, her head was still splitting slightly from the hangover and her stomach felt like it was eating itself. He walked down toward the back of the library and pointed out a small shelf with older worn-down books.
"This is everything we have at the manor on that particular subject" he declared.
She walked over to the shelf, Theo now stood directly behind her, she could feel the warmth of his body radiating onto her own. She began dragging her fingertips over the spines, reading the titles of the books. She spotted one on the shelf that she thought may have the answers she was seeking. 'Secrets of the Darkest Art by Owle Bullock, surely immortality falls under that?' she thought to herself. She grabbed the book in her hands, and she instantly felt a dark cloud wash over, as if the book itself contained a dark curse or hex. She felt Theo peering over her shoulder to look at the book she had chosen. She turned to face him.
"This one will hopefully have the answers, even holding it makes me feel cold and dark. I just need somewhere to sit so I can take some notes if that's alright?"
"My face is available; it might cheer you up a bit and get you out of that mood you're in" he smirked.
She knew it was a joke, a light-hearted jab to make her laugh, but it hurt. It hurt because she wanted him, and he clearly thought of any connection outside friendship with her as a joke.
Maia tried to keep her face still blank, but she hit him on the shoulder with the book.
"You were literally inside Daphne Greengrass 24 hours ago Theodore" she scowled but he just laughed back.
"There's a desk here where you can sit and work from. I've got some stuff to do but I'll be back in an hour or two, I'll get Mopsy to bring you some food at around 12 okay Mai?" he said as he pointed out the desk to her. Maia's lips curled into a signature Malfoy sneer.
"By stuff to do, do you mean shagging Daphne?" she clipped.
He rolled his eyes at her and watched as she sat down at the desk. She felt him lean down and whisper in her ear.
"I hope you've lost the attitude by the time I get back Mai." He said firmly. Maia felt warmth spread through her body and down to her core, she crossed her legs in an attempt to ignore the clenching feeling spreading through her legs. She watched him turn away and leave through the door.
"This is all the bloody alcohol's fault" she grumbled to herself, and she attempted to concentrate on the ghastly book in front of her. Goosebumps still spreading over her body.
She pulled out some parchment rolls and a quill from her bag and got to work.
12 noon
Nott Manor
Maia had been reading 'Secrets of the Darkest Arts' for over an hour and a half now, she hadn't come across anything about immortality or cheating death. The book seemed to cover all areas of dark magic, from basic jinxes and hexes to dark creatures, curses, and objects. She had re-read the section on the 'killing curse' about 5 times now, it was clear in the text the only way to survive the curse was to either be pushed out the way of the blast like she did for Sirius or sacrificial protection by love like how Lily Potter had saved Harry nearly 16 years ago.
Voldemort had done neither of those things. If he had moved out of the way he wouldn't have lost his power, he wouldn't have done nothing for 11 years. 'No... there's something else, something I'm missing' she thought to herself. Every page she turned she swore she could feel her soul twist and darken, it was a vile book. She was about to give up and try a different book until she turned to the last page.
'Horcruxes'
'A Horcrux was an object in which a Dark wizard or which had hidden a detached fragment of his or her soul in order to become immortal. As long as the receptacle remained intact, so too did the soul fragment inside it, keeping the maker anchored to the world of the living, even if their body suffered fatal damage. Horcruxes were also extremely durable, and therefore only the most powerful and potent elements and magical spells of the wizarding world could truly destroy them, such as Basilisk venom and Fiendfyre'
"Salazar! Shit!" Maia shouted aloud. "This is it! This explains everything!" Maia shot up out of her chair, her heart pounding, she couldn't believe it. She had finally figured it out! "Fuck! This must be how Granger feels when she finally figures something out!" she exclaimed. She was grateful no one was home.
He made a Horcrux. Of course, he did. As long as the Horcrux wasn't destroyed he couldn't die, not properly. 'That fucking twisted psychopath!' she thought to herself. Not only did they have to kill him, but they also had to figure out what he had made into a Horcrux.
Maia wrote down everything she could about what the book said about 'Horcruxes' she took particular note of 'Fiendfyre' as a way to destroy them, she would need to figure out how to cast it. As Maia sat writing notes, she was thinking of what he could have possibly made into a Horcrux, knowing that arrogant shit it would be of importance to him, but Maia didn't know enough about his life to work it out yet. 'Possibly Snake?' she wrote down, it was the only thing she had to go on for now. He kept the thing attached to his hip all the time and what better protection for a Horcrux than if the Horcrux itself was a threat?
She barely heard Theo enter the library, she was so lost in her thoughts about her breakthrough and writing down everything she thought may be of importance. When she looked up and saw him, she quickly hid her parchment rolls in her bag and stood up to put the book away. She could feel his eyes burning into her head as she hid them.
"You're so secretive nowadays Mai" he clipped.
"I thought after a shag me and my secrets would be the last things on your mind Theodore" she snipped back, reaching up to put the book back on the shelf. "I'd burn that book if I was you, it's positively vile."
He stepped closer to her and rolled his eyes.
"I don't even recognise you right now Maia, I don't know what suicide mission you're on, but I can't watch it. You're keeping things from me. And you clearly didn't lose that attitude." He spat.
"Did it ever occur to you Theodore that maybe I'm keeping secrets because I'm trying to protect you? Protect everyone? I don't understand why everyone is always looking for the worst in me, why they always think my behaviour is about them. Maybe I'm doing it for me. Maybe I'm fed up with doing nothing whilst others risk their lives." She shouted at him.
He stepped closer to her; she looked up and could see him towering over her. His scent infiltrated her nostrils, and her body began to betray her.
"BUT WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE YOU? WHY? WHY CAN'T YOU BE SAFE AND KEEP OUT OF IT? OR AT LEAST LET US IN AND LET US HELP YOU?" he bellowed out.
"BECAUSE IF I DON'T, IT MEANS ALL THE SHIT I GOT, ALL THE DAMAGE FROM MY FATHER, FROM MY FAMILY WAS FOR NOTHING! I WILL HAVE GOTTEN NOTHING OUT OF IT, AND ALL THE YEARS I'VE BEEN MISERABLE WILL HAVE BEEN POINTLESS! I HAVE TO DO THE RIGHT THING. DO YOU REALLY THINK I'M ANY SAFER AT THE MANOR? DO YOU THINK I'LL HAVE A HIGHER CHANCE OF SURVIVING? I'M NOT A COWARD THEO. IM NOT MY FATHER!" she screamed at him.
She hadn't realised he had gotten closer to her, that he had leant down to her, and that their noses were nearly touching. His was scent taking over any common sense she had left.
She was staring back into his deep blue eyes for what felt like hours, but it was only seconds, her occlusion had gone, and Salazar only knew when that happened.
He grabbed the side of her face with one hand and his other at the back of her neck, her body melted, and her veins hummed, Maia's was completely lost in him until she felt his lips on hers.
They melted together like potion ingredients perfectly matched, the kiss was full of fire, rage, and emotion, and she felt him slip his tongue into her mouth. She had lost all self-control. His tongue explored her mouth as she tried to fight for dominance, he lightly bit her bottom lip and a moan escaped out of her throat. As he heard her whimper and moan, he moved his hands to the curve of her hips, she could feel him grip them tightly as if he let go even for a second, she would disappear. He was still dominating her mouth, Maia's whole body was on fire, her core fluttering and radiating with every touch he gave her. She felt hands slip down to the bottom of her thighs as he picked her up, pushing her against the shelves in the library, books clattering everywhere. She leaned more into the kiss, gripping the back of his neck, tugging at his brown curls, she heard a groan escape his throat. She was entirely lost in Theodore Nott; he made her weak. He moved away from her lips and latched himself to her jaw, peppering kisses along it before moving to her neck. His lips attached with ferocity, using his tongue to lick up and down her sensitive spots before lightly sucking and biting over her pulse point.
Another moan ripped out of Maia's throat.
"Fuck Mai, you sound so pretty when you moan for me" he grunted into her ear as he carried her over to the desk she had been working on. He placed her down gently before attacking her neck and moving down to her collarbone. Kissing, licking and biting.
His words sent shoots of pleasure down to the bundle of nerves between her legs, she was absolutely drenched. As his hands reached for the buttons of her robes, her brain kicked back in.
'He's been shagging Daphne Greengrass'.
'He's been shagging Daphne for stress release'.
'I can't just be stress release to him'.
'Stop it Maia, don't do this to yourself'.
Maia shot up quickly "Theo stop" she pleaded. His eyes shot up to her, worry in his eyes he immediately stepped back away from her.
"Are you okay Mai? Did I hurt you? I'm sorry" he spluttered out.
"No, I'm not hurt We just shouldn't do this. I can't do this. I'm sorry Theodore. I- I should go" she stuttered out, she got off the desk and grabbed her bag.
"Maia, I wanted to if that's what you're getting at, I wanted you." He pleaded with her.
"I have been second place to Draco my entire life Theo, I will not be second place to Daphne Greengrass. I won't be the witch you settle for today because you can't have her right now. I won't – I won't do it. Not when..." she trailed off tears forming in her eyes.
"Not when what Maia?" he probed her.
"I'm sorry Theodore," she said as she rushed for the doors, 'Fucking Salazar she had to get out of there' she muttered to herself.
She could hear his footsteps behind her, running towards her.
"Mai! Mai! Wait please stop! Don't go! Please Maia!" she could hear him calling out to her.
She didn't stop, she kept running, running until she stepped into the fireplace, she grabbed the powder as quickly as she could, she could see his curls out of the corner of her eye.
"Malfoy Manor!"