I opened my eyes with a feeling of disappointment. The fire and heat disappearing instantly. I was back in my room again. I let out a sigh of disappointment - figures.
I was back in my shitty little flat, the light piercing through the curtains to force me to wake up. In the background, I could hear the sounds of sirens in the background, same as usual. Who needed an alarm clock when you had these going on?
I checked my watch, hoping I had some extra time before I had to get up. No such luck.
13:28
It was afternoon, I overslept - quite badly.
"Shit!"
I jumped out of bed and turned on my shower, risking a cold one. I was so late, Lara was going to kill me! Especially since we had a special event today.
The sirens continued blaring out from the street, much more regular than usual. Strange, they were constant, but never this constant. Something must have really been going down in the town today! With this much noise I'd probably have to walk to work as the traffic would be a nightmare, which would make me even MORE late! This was not a good start to the day!
I didn't even have time for breakfast, or lunch for that matter. I picked up my phone and checked for missed calls - no doubt I would have probably had a million and one right now.
Strangely, I didn't have a single one. That was weird, considering how late I was.
Then the date on my phone caught my eye. 13th June.
Hold on, that was yesterday wasn't it?
Didn't I already do this? Get up, get ready, go to work...
Wait, the event was today wasn't it?
No, it was yesterday.
The sirens blared out from the town, louder now than ever before. Jesus, something must be going down quite badly.
It was then my nostrils felt a sickly smell, like ash and wood.
I looked out my window, overlooking most of the city. From afar I could see smoke rising up from the middle of the city, where the museum stood.
Only now, where the museum once was, there was only fire.
My phone rang, being my first and only call of the day. It was Dr Eve.
I answered it. Before I could say "Hello," the line crackled and sizzled. But I could hear a voice down the line.
"You should come in for your next session."
Without knowing what I was doing, I jumped into my Cubo. As I was driving outside the city, I avoided most of the traffic, even taking into account the detours I had to make.
I pulled up my car at Dr Eve's clinic, but I didn't need to ring the bell this time - the door was already open.
I walked in, my stomach grumbling from having no food. I could smell Dr Eve's apple pie from inside. And there it was, on the table. Freshly cooked and steaming.
I didn't even bother to pick up the fork nearby, I picked up the juicy desert and crammed it into my mouth as much as it would fit. Damn, this tasted better than before, so sweet and perfect. If I choked on it now it would be a sensation of heaven.
"Enjoying your pie, Adam?"
In my sensation, I hadn't even noticed Dr Eve siting on her chair, one leg over the other, one hand resting on the armrest. The elbow of her other arm rested on the opposite rest, her arm at an angle, where the burning of a recently lit cigarette lay captive between her slittery fingers. Her flesh and clothes looked blackened and red, like ash from a fire. It was like someone had set her on fire, yet she didn't look like she was in pain. Her yellow eyes remained fixed on me, the dark slits of her pupils trained on me at all times.
"I heard the news," she said, "a fire broke out at Eden House of Knowledge, they estimate over 200 dead. Although they're still counting the bodies."
She took a breath of fire and exhaled, filling the room with her smoke. "I bet it felt good, didn't it?"
"What?"
Her eyes were firmly locked on me, as if she could read every thought that came into it. "Powerful thing, anger," Dr Eve said. "All those who say that love makes the world go round clearly don't look outside their front door. It's always been anger that has controlled everything, even from the earliest days. And my boy - the anger within you could power an entire country, if only they could harness it."
I didn't much care for this weird philosophical crap. I took another bite of the pie - oh GOD it was so good. This one might have been the best one yet.
"It's always interested me, the anger that your kind has towards women," Dr Eve continued. "From day one, you almost seemed certain to destroy each other. The sheer loathing that you hold towards the female species is unlike anything within the animal kingdom."
"What?" I gasped. "I don't hate women."
"Really?" Dr Eve asked, taking another breath of smoke. "You hated Charlotte Tyler for what she did to you. You wished you could have killed her, isn't that so?"
"That was just..." I should have explained myself, but my voice stopped mid-way, as if my brain was rebelling against me. "I mean, yeah I hated her. But I didn't wish... that on her."
"Are you sure about that?"
Dr Eve's line of questioning was starting to get inside my head. I felt like she was trying to gaslight me - I knew full well that I never wished ill on Charlotte, not like that that.
"What about those in the museum?" Dr Eve asked. "Can you say the same for them?"
This time I couldn't bring myself to argue with her. Maybe it was the succulence of the pie, maybe it was Dr Eve prying into my mind; or maybe it was just the acceptance of it all - but either way I found myself saying what I had dreamed of saying for so long.
"They made me do this!"
"Of course they did." The hint of sarcasm from Dr Eve didn't go unnoticed from me. "It's never your fault is it? It's always easier to blame someone else for your own shortcomings."
"If you're asking me to feel sorry for those fuckers, then forget it," I replied - and I meant every syllable of that. "They had this coming."
"Including Gayle?" Dr Eve asked. "What about Anna? Or Charlie? Does a baby have to be killed to prove your point?"
That gave me pause for thought - but only a moment's pause.
Dr Eve drew in more breath from her cigarette and blew out a long stream of smoke towards me. The room was starting to get very smoky, much like the insides of the museum were probably now. "It's natural for you to hate. It's built into your very makeup, like all men. Of course, it's not something that they can access right away - like anything it has to be taught. Even a wild animal born to hunt has to learn how to do things. Some men are able to supress it, and some avoid it completely; but it's always there."
She was starting to sound like a Protector columnist with all this crap she was spilling, but I decided to humour her. "Let me guess," I said with as much sarcasm as I could muster, "women are better."
"Oh no, no, no," Dr Eve replied, shaking her head. "Despite what they think, women are no more superior than men are. They are just as capable of hate and prejudice. They have, however, had to suffer through laws that you made for them. That's why they made their Movement." She took a huge breath from her cigarette and let it out with a long puff through her red lips, which were shinning now like never before. "You know, it makes me laugh - how two species with so much hate for each other rely on one another for survival. That's the ultimate irony of nature.
"You want to know another irony? The Movement never stop to think that, in their efforts to crush their enemies, they might be CREATING more. Or maybe they know that and they just carry on regardless. Every fairy tale needs a monster after all, some beast for them to fight against, to justify their existence. There has been many of those over the years; the Jews, the Blacks - and now it's your turn."
You know, maybe it was the smoke clouding the room, the apples in the pie making me feel giddy, or maybe I was coming down from the high of burning the museum and those inside; but something about they way she spoke so mysteriously - and knowingly - opened up something in my mind. My stomach churned like someone was making butter in my gut. Something about the way she spoke so confidentially to me - like she was keeping back some knowledge that I was not aware of - or should be made aware of. I took another bite of apple courage and tried to gather my thoughts. "Tell me something," I said, my words coming out slightly slurred, "what is your deal? How - how come you look different each time I see you?"
Dr Eve smiled through smoky breath. "I'm surprised you didn't ask that sooner to be honest."
"What are you?" I asked again.
She looked towards me with a deep stare, her yellow eyes seemingly to glow like a burning sun, her voice became a low growl. "I have lived for many lifetimes and gone by many names. I have existed long before you humans were even a glimmer in the eyes of your creator." She held that stare for several seconds, before breaking off with a light chuckle. "That's what I'm supposed to say right? Did it sound good? I felt it sounded a little forced."
I didn't answer her attempted comedy act, so Dr Eve just shrugged and looked behind her to the wooden icon on the wall. "I remember when you first came to visit me, you asked me if this was a god." She shook her head. "Funny how you mortals come up with your little words. Gods. Demons. Lovecraftian beasts. All these words you use to give meaning to what you don't understand."
Mortals? What the hell was she talking about? Even though my stomach was churring and my heart beating at a thousand times it's normal pace, something told me I had to inquire on. "You didn't answer my question." I tried to sound confident, even though I could tell I was sounding like a whining puppy.
"What am I?" Dr Even shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe I'm here to make you realise what you really are. Maybe I'm recruiting for the Movement. Maybe I'm a scheming mastermind that lured you into a trap. Maybe, I'm just a supernatural super-bitch that just enjoys fucking people like you over." She took a huge breath in this time, holding it until she moved the cigarette away from her, before blowing a huge cloud of smoke toward me. "Or maybe, this is all just in your head. Maybe you've had a psychotic breakdown and you're imagining this as a coping mechanism. Maybe you died in the fire and this is your penance. Maybe, it's best that you don't know."
She then laughed, her laugh like a slither.
Even the pie wasn't helping my fractured nerves, but still I pressed on. "Cut the crap. Ever since I met you, things have gotten weird. Why don't you tell me who you are!"
"Ooooh, getting aggressive are we?"
"Can you tell me or not?"
The smile on Dr Eve's lips widened. "No. Even if I could explain, I don't think I have words that you would understand." She stubbed out her cigarette on an ash tray, knocking over nine stubs that lay their unemptied. "But I can show you. Although, you might not like what you see."
My heart froze on hearing this. Even though every fibre in my body told me I should walk out and never look back. But what did I have to return to? Where could I go after everything I've done? I looked down at my pie, the red juice dripping out from the floor and onto the plate.
All my life I'd just wanted to know what my purpose in life was. What if it was this? What if this was my purpose all along? What if everything had just led me here?
Was I really prepared to walk away not knowing the answer?
I nodded my head like my neck was locked, and croaked "Go on then," as my lips went dry.
Dr Eve seemed to be almost laughing now. "Very well then..."
Dr Eve stood up until she was standing tall. I couldn't tell, but it looked like she was taller than even me. She moved her hand to her back and I heard the sound of unzipping. Her yellow eyes shone brighter, like two glowing suns. She opened her mouth and I thought I saw sharp teeth.
I won't describe what I saw - I'm not even sure I could describe it even if I wanted to. Most would have gone mad.
But not me.
I understood.
I understood everything.
As my pie hit the ground, the pieces of the plate smashing and covering the floor with apple, all I could do was laugh.