I pulled up my beaten up Cubo alongside Dr Eve's clinic. Strange that this place was easier to find each time, despite it feeling like a maze the first time. My poor car though, I was starting to wonder how much longer it would really last. It seemed a new scratch appeared each time I drove down her, the underside was caked in mud. The tread on my tyres was even starting to come off, it wouldn't be too long before the tyres became unusable! I knew this would make my car illegal to drive, but I couldn't afford new ones, so I just hoped that it would last just a little bit longer.
I moved my finger towards the doorbell, then stopped when I saw a piece of paper stuck on the door. Scrawled in red ink were the words In the forest. Please come round.
This sounded like some weird note a serial killer would leave their victims – but I was pretty sure that Dr Eve was no killer. Shrugging my shoulders, I walked round the back of the building. Despite the sun, there was a bit of a chill in the air. I rubbed my hands and put them in the sleeves of my hoodie.
The leaves on the tree had turned a rather colourful brown, looking like something out of a overexposed CGI film. The sun seemed to make them shine somewhat – it seemed quite beautiful here. The familiar aroma of apples hit my nose, and I was reminded of one of Dr Eve's pies. It appeared to be stronger here, fresher and purer. Looking up, I saw that some of the branches were decorated in colourful red orbs, gleaming in the sun. The smell lingered in the air like the sweetest perfume, my anxiety calming. It was like the feeling of an apple pie, but a million times more potent. Just like that, I could feel my stress melting away.
I happened across a woman knelt where a pile of apples lay on the ground. She wore a red dress with an apron – sort of reminding me a little bit of Alice from the book Alice in Wonderland. Crooked under her arm was a wicker basket, in which she placed some apples in. She stood up and turned, her big red lips forming into a smile. "Adam! So nice to see you."
I only just noticed how Dr Eve seemed to look different each time I saw her, as if she were a slightly different person each time. I couldn't put my finger on it, but she never wore the same thing twice. The frills of her dress fluttered as she skipped towards me, rubbing an apple against her chest. "The apples are beautifully ripe this time of year," she said, putting one of them to her nose and sniffing. "Ah yes, this will make for a wonderful pie! The apples flow like rain around here. Would you like to help me pick them?"
"I thought we had a session today?" I asked.
"This is our session," Dr Eve replied. "I thought we could just relax, get some fresh air. It's a lovely day today, wouldn't you agree? Who wants to be stuck indoors? And besides, look how beautiful these apples are? Don't you want to just pick them?"
She bent down and picked up another wicker basket, holding it out to me. Where it appeared from, I didn't know – it was almost like it magically appeared.
"Um," I stammered. "What do I do?"
"Just pick up the apples that have fallen from the trees," Dr Eve replied. "They're dropping quite a lot this time around, so you should be able to find some somewhere."
This took me by surprise. I didn't think we'd be doing any manual labour. But I guessed a bit of fresh air wouldn't hurt. I took the basket from her.
Behind Dr Eve, another apple dropped and fell on the ground behind her, making a somewhat loud thud as it hit the ground. "Oh," Dr Eve gasped. "This one sure is providing me a lot of fruit today!" She skipped back like an excited child towards the pile. She looked back at me over her shoulder. "Don't worry about me, Adam. There are plenty more trees around here with crispy bountys."
"Don't you need a hand with that lot?" I asked.
"I'll be fine," Dr Eve replied, waiving her hand. "It will be more of an awakening if you do it on your own."
Awakening?
Shaking my head – and not dwelling on that choice of words like I probably should have – I walked away to find a tree. Dr Eve sure was one of the more – extravagant therapists I'd ever had that was for sure. Strange that Dr Ami recommended her.
Now that I thought about it, it was a shame that Dr Ami didn't continue our sessions – she was nice. Not to mention really fit. I always saw her as like an anime girl come to life – and not just because she was Japanese. Most nights I often imagined her – wait, why was I thinking about this now? I guess I was just too relaxed!
Eventually I found a tree where a pile of apples had fallen to the ground. They were laid out, like puddles of fruit at my feet. I couldn't even see Dr Eve anymore, how far had I walked? The aroma was thickest around this part of the forest, the smell digging into my nostrils like it was the sweetest thing. The only thing that irked me was how I was going to fit all these apples in my tiny basket. Maybe I could just fill it with what I had and then come back for the rest later.
I knelt down and picked up an apple. As soon as my fingers touched the red outer skin, I felt a tingle run through them. Sort of like a static electric shock, but without the pain. It was like touching the softest flesh of a beautiful woman, causing me to sight with delight. I held it in front of me, dusting off the dirt that was on the side of it. Strangely, I felt angry that the dirt would dare touch something as pure as this. The smell struck my nose again, so I inhaled deeply, the sensation filling me from the depth of my core to the top of my head. The juicy red skin shone in the sun, causing it to shimmer like fire. It was as if it were calling out to me, begging me to devour it – demanding me even. I wondered what secrets were held behind its red flesh.
I looked behind, but Dr Eve was no longer in sight. Surely she wouldn't mind if I ate just one apple, right? She was going to make this into a pie for me anyway, so why not indulge myself? I'm sure she wouldn't miss just one. Just one.
I held the apple closer to my mouth, the sweet smell pulling me by my throat. I could feel my mouth sweating, my adam's apple caught in my throat for a moment as I swallowed. I breathed out a fiery breath as I leaned in, my teeth covering the top and the bottom of the apple.
I bit deep.
I took off a chunk of the apple, crunching it up in my jaw. Never had fruit tasted so amazing – like I was eating Heaven. The apple pie had only given me a taster of the joy that I felt eating this. All my problems blew away like leaves in a hurricane and I could feel only tranquillity.
Before I knew it, I had eaten the entire thing, leaving only the core. My belly jingled at the delight that I had fed it; then growled. It was not satisfied. After all – one apple could not satiate the hunger I had.
I'm sure Dr Eve wouldn't miss two apples.
I bit into another, devouring it before I even knew it was in my hand.
My belly rumbled. It still wasn't enough.
I picked up another, consuming this in seconds.
Still I was not full.
I picked up as many apples as I could, forcing my teeth around them and chewing them up like a tiger would chew on the carcass of a fresh kill. I ate and would continue to eat until my stomach was full. And yet, the more I ate, the more my belly begged for more. I was in a haze and nothing would drag me from it, no matter how many apples I consumed. I don't know how many I ate, it could have been a hundred for all I knew. The sweet taste lingered in my mouth, until my mouth was dripping red with sauce.
I came out of my haze, but my hunger was not yet complete. And yet, something felt different. The sweet aroma from the apples had gone. The juice in my mouth tasted less sweet and more like – copper. I moved a finger to my drooling mouth, filled with apple chunks as I chewed slowly on them. My finger brushed across a thick, syrupy liquid, which I held to my eyes. It glistened in the sunlight, the smell of copper stronger now.
It was like... blood.
I still had an apple in my hand, although the sensation against my fingertips felt a bit rubbery. I turned and looked towards the apple.
My eyes raised as far as they could go, my voice caught in my throat.
I was holding a human head, half it's face chewed off.
It was Gayle's.
Finding the strength to gasp, I dropped the head. It landed on the ground – along with the other chewed and bloody heads that had replaced the apples. Gayle, Anna, Charlie, Mysti, Julie, Mum, Gavin, Richard, Sandra – they were ALL here, duplicated and in some cases triplicated. I stumbled back, crawling away from them as fast as I could go.
I couldn't have done this! I was just eating apples! I never would have done this if I knew what I was eating! There was no way!
Something caught in my throat, at first I thought it was vomit; but it felt solid and pointy. I went to my knees, my hands on the ground, coughing wildly to try and get rid of whatever was crawling up my throat. I couldn't breathe no matter how much I choked. It felt like my insides were being cut up and would escape through my mouth at any second.
Something rough slid across the flesh of my fingers. I looked down, my heart pounding in fear. Thick wooden tendrils slithered from the arms of my hoodie, covering my palms and digging deep into the ground. They moved in between the openings of my fingers and pushed down tight, so that I couldn't move my hands no matter what I did.
A sharp pain skewered my throat, causing me to lurch upwards with a gasp. I opened my mouth to scream.
But the only thing that came out was a twisted, wooden branch.
I watched in horror as it crawled out from me, as if the apples had festered in my belly created something unnatural and disgusting. It stuck out so much that I was unable to close my mouth, I could feel my teeth scraping against the bark. My insides were screaming, but I myself could not, in spite of the agony. I wondered, is this what giving birth felt like? Or maybe, being born? It lasted for so long and I could only pray to God that the pain would stop soon.
Maybe God answered my prayers, because as quickly as it started, the growth stopped.
There I was, held in position with a branch sticking out of my mouth, my hands held to the ground by veins. How I was able to breathe I didn't know. Was this to be my life from now on, stuck like a hideous statue for all eternity? No chance of escape?
I noticed at the end of the branch something glowing. It was another apple. Only this one was more amazing than any other I had seen. It was like a sun, glistening in the light with all it's beauty, like the most amazing star. It looked juicy and gleaming, making me salivate even with the branch coming out of my mouth. I wanted to reach and grab it – but my arms would not lift. They were held down by the vines that forced them to the ground – and would not lift no matter how much strength I tried to us to grab them. My muffled cried echoed in my ear as I tried in vain to reach for it. But it was out of my reach. It would always be out of my reach. I felt tears falling down my cheeks as I stared at the beautiful fruit, knowing I would never feel it's taste. I would have screamed, but the branch silenced my shame.
"Adam? Are you all right?"
Hearing Dr Eve's voice again, I took a huge gasp. I breathed in and out slowly. The tree – and the apple – was gone. I felt Dr Eve knell down beside me.
"Is everything all right, Adam?" Dr Eve asked. "You were gone for so long, I was starting to worry."
I turned to Dr Eve, my tears still streaming down my cheeks. I tried to gather my breath, but the tears prevented me from making words.
"Adam?" Dr Eve asked again. "You're crying. Whatever is the matter?"
I sniffed through my nose, took several breaths to try and capture what I wanted to say in my heart.
"I... I..." I stammered. "Just realised... I'm never... going to find, my purpose... My dreams. They're never... coming true... are they?"
Dr Eve's sudden worry changed to a nonchalance that I couldn't help but take offence to. She closed her lips and nodded. "Maybe that's true," she said somewhat callously, "maybe you never will find any of those things. But then, you'll just be like the others in the world. Many don't find their purpose in life, let alone their dreams. Sometimes, there is no light at the end of the tunnel – it's just all tunnel. Whose to say there is even a purpose to life? Maybe it's just one long journey that we all take regardless."
Hearing this just made my heart drop out of my chest.
More tears fell. "But," Dr Eve said, her lips turning to a smile, "is that a bad thing? Who is to say you need to find purpose. So many people try to find their answer to life and go insane. They become slaves to their own dreams and end up depressed and angry. If you cannot attain your dream, what have you got to lose? Maybe – just maybe – the only way to truly free yourself is to abandon your dreams and accept your situation. Only then, can you be free. Embrace who you are – and not what the world wants you to be."
I narrowed my eyes somewhat.
"Oh, listen to me," Dr Eve chuckled. "I must sound like such a weirdo saying these things! Oh look, you picked a lot of apples, Adam. Well done."
I looked down, my basket was full of apples. Succulent, juicy apples waiting to be eaten.