2. Reflections
"do your late night thoughts ever lead you back to me?"
☾
HER NOSE WRINKLED at the sight. Tara, Lucia and Rosita had rushed forward, trying their best to pull the two apart. An especially difficult task when the big lump of muscle was angry. Eugene never moved from his place beside the truck, as expected, and Dani...
Well, she was thoroughly entertained. They grunted and huffed as they tried to over power one another and she tilted her head, baffled by how their brains were working. What was this settling, exactly? So she let them carry on. Unmoving and unbothered, she spectated from a couple feet away.
It was when Abe shoved Tara to the ground by mistake that she sprung into action. Hurrying forward, she helped her up before picking up a small pebble and tossing it at his head.
Nothing.
Didn't even spare a glance.
Well, they can't say I didn't try.
Abraham rolled them over, after receiving an impressive elbow to the face from Glenn, and pressed his forearm against the man's neck. Rosita yelled at him, trying her best to get him to see reason but had no such luck.
"Hey!" Eugene's faint shouts sounded through the air. Dani rolled her eyes, unwilling to put up with whatever shit he had caused this time.
"You guys look so stupid right now." She said, matter-of-factly.
Glenn threw his fist into Abe's jaw again as he stood, and she hissed, offering her audience reaction instead of helping. She was better off over here anyways. The larger man got him on the ground again, the dirt from the concrete sticking to their sweaty skin like glitter on glue.
Shots broke through their yelling and Dani flinched, her hands flying over her ears. All eyes flew to where Lucia was stood with her knife poised beside an armed Eugene, his gun rapid firing at rotters as if it was possessed.
If there was one thing to break Abraham Ford away from a fight, it was wasting ammo. He took off, running and shouting to get the scientist's attention. The others followed, Dani picking up speed to ensure her sister was okay.
"Eugene!" He tried. "Stop firing, damn it!"
Abe drew his pistol, shooting down each dead thing beside his doctor, and the others took that as their cue. In seconds, everyone was armed and wielding a weapon to get rid of the dead that had surrounded their truck. Their bodies fell limp as the bullets hit their brains, and the living group were left panting, tired from the encounter.
Though the gunshots had stopped and the snarling had silenced, Dani looked around in confusion. "What's that noise?" She asked, as Abe snatched the weapon out of the man with the mullet's hands.
He crouched in front of his beloved truck, observing the liquid pouring from its sides. "Son of a dick."
"How does that even happen?" Lucia muttered, shaking her head tiredly.
Abraham shook his head, lying down and nudging underneath it to take a look. "You know what's funny? There was this time: We were running a convoy in one of these." He recalled. "Coming up a dune, there's this camel, looks like it's about to puke."
"Gross." Dani added. Tara pointed at her, a silent agreement.
"Probably because shitbird's packed about four pounds of C-4 up its ass."
"Gross." Tara said. Dani pointed back at her.
"We were within 20 feet of that blast that sent that animal's hump half a klick into the desert. And we drove home." He told them all. "So," he directed his attention to Eugene, "You tell me how in the holy hell did you possibly kill this truck?"
Eugene glanced at his mess and then flicked his eyes back to Abe. "A fully amped-up state and an ignorance of rapid-firing weapons."
Dani watched as Rosita crouched, grabbing something from the ground. "Is this yours?" She held the paper out to Glenn. He took it back, wordlessly.
"Sorry about your ride." He offered to the redhead. "Hope you guys make it to Washington."
As he headed off in the opposite direction, Tara shoved her gun at Rosita. "Wait for me." She called to her friend.
Dani contemplated for a moment, before shrugging at Rosita and jogging after them. The latter let out a frustrated sigh, as she sauntered behind them. "What the hell else are we gonna do?" She asked, to no one in particular.
"Go to Washington." Abe answered, anyways. "Fix the whole damn world!"
"I'm actually very curious." Lucia shrugged as she too, turned and joined the rest.
"You too, huh?" He rolled his eyes and wiped his dirty hands on his pants. "No loyalty round here."
Rosita kept pace with her friend and linked their arms together. "They're idiots."
"Well not idiots. Fools is a better term."
"Whatever."
"You decided to join them." Dani pointed out.
"Yeah, because I was bored."
"And now look at the adventures you're having."
Rosita snorted and tugged her friend's elbow closer. "It's better that you're here."
"What did I tell you about flirting with me, Rosie? My heart can't take it." She teased, the truth in her words undetected by the other woman.
"Train it."
Dani's stomach fluttered and she cursed inwardly. A tale as old as time. Girl 1 likes a boy. Girl 2 is not a boy.
The road seemed to trail on for hours, and every so often the members of the group cycled their walking partners, discussing whatever shit they could conjure in their heads. Well, all except Glenn. He stayed determined at the front, not needing the company when he had his determination.
"Tragic, ain't it?" Abraham's voice muttered beside Dani.
"What is?"
"She's in love with a married man. And helping him find his wife."
"You think she's in love with him?" An indentation between her brows formed as she watched Tara, walking ahead, chatting casually to Eugene. Taking note of each move, she studied her body language, assessing for whatever it was that brought him to such a conclusion.
"Why else would she be so determined to help?"
"He saved her life. That's what she said so it'd make sense on her feeling like she owes him." Dani explained, her fingers twiddling with the ends of her hair.
"Maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't drop everything to help a nice guy unless I was head over heels."
"Because you're a dick." She grinned up at him, even when he gave her a shove that had her stumbling a little, a laugh slipping past her lips.
Tara ducked her head, a soft smile spreading across her face. It was just nice to hear a laugh. After what she had witnessed— been apart of... Everyone's joy was like a song to her. It just so happened to be Danica's that played.
Abe moved beside Tara, Lucia meeting her sister again and looking over her carefully.
"You seem better." She pointed out.
"What?"
"Earlier. When we picked these guys up, you were... cold."
"Can't be trusting everyone all the time these days, can we?"
"Well no. But it's just nice." The older girl patted her sisters back, relieved when she didn't pull away. They had been growing further and further apart over the weeks, despite never really leaving the others side. It was hard, to see a girl she shared blood with turning into a stranger. A never ending battle to pull her back. Lucia sighed. She never should've let her shoot that gun. As the oldest, it was her responsibility to take on the hard jobs. Dani should not have had to empty that clip into their father's animated corpse and carry such a burden alone.
"Gotta hand it to him. He's a persistent son of a bitch." Abe commented, his gun resting on his shoulder. Tara didn't reply, seeing no need to but the man continued anyways. "I see why you're following him. You're loyal. You're a good person. I like it." Dani's words had altered his perspective at least, but he still wasn't dropping his theory. "But what we're doing... I don't know how else to say it. Saving the world is just..." He let out an airy chuckle. "Is just more important."
"I mean, even if he does find his wife," he blabbered on, "So what? How long do you think they'll live happily ever after if we don't get Eugene to Washington?"
Not bothering to answer his question, Tara kept her eyes trained straight ahead. "You think because I'm following Glenn, that makes me a good person? I'm not."
Abraham laughed. "You're good." He contested.
"You don't know anything about me." She argued, his persistence driving her mad. "Just like I don't know anything about why you're going to Washington. I get why Eugene's going. He's the only one who knows how to end this. And Rosita, she loves you. She'd follow you anywhere. From what I've heard, Lucia and Danica had nowhere else to go. But why the hell you agreed to drive him halfway across the country..." She expressed, her time observing helping her deduce their intentions. All but his.
"Is it that hard to believe, I want to save the world?"
"Because you're a good person?" She rolled her eyes, before directing them at him pointedly. "You don't have to tell me why. Just don't lie to me."
☾
The sun beating down on Dani's skin was exhausting. Her skin was slick with sweat, every ounce of energy being slowly absorbed by the giant ball of light. She was actually grateful when it began to descend, the incessant heat replaced with a humidity that in all honesty wasn't much better. But if she imagined the scorching heat of the rays that baked them, she could just about convince herself that it was an improvement.
With the last few hours of daylight, the group followed some train tracks, in order to feel some form of direction. Dani trudged behind Tara and Eugene, who was rambling in a way that it was extremely obvious he liked the woman. Whether that was platonic or not, she was undecided; the man was strange either way.
"I'm well aware it sounds bananas." He ranted. "But looking at the fossil record, knowing what I know about this infection, you cannot say for certain it isn't what killed off the dinosaurs."
'What is he talking about?' she mouthed over to her sister. Luci shrugged, pressing her lips together to avoid laughing.
"Now, do I believe that's what happened? No. But it's enjoyable as hell to think about an undead ankylosaur going after a diplodocus."
"Here, here, Eugene. That's my favourite thing to think about." Dani deadpanned.
"That there is a video game worth a preorder." He nodded. She covered her face with her hands to hide her grin, not realising the two in front had slowed.
"Oh, Hell, yeah. Score." Eugene said monotonously. Tara picked something up off the ground and, as she stood, Dani collided straight into her back, her hands grabbing the woman's waist to steady herself.
"Shit." She mumbled. Snatching her hands back like she had burnt them, Dani squeezed her eyes shut briefly before raising her head to look at the sky, suddenly fascinated with the clouds. Tara glanced back at her, a smirk dying to lift her lips, before turning back to her coin.
"A few more of those, a little aluminium foil and some bleach. You got yourself some volts, sister." Tara gave the man nattering a bewildered look. "Homemade battery." He explained.
Holding it out between her fingers to him, he reached out. "For reals? You don't want it?"
"For reals."
"Much obliged." He grinned smugly to himself. He's so easily pleased. "Speaking of video games, what kind of gamer were you?" He continued his conversation, like nothing else had happened. "RPGs, shmup, sim racing?" He listed off.
Dani liked Eugene. She did. However, was she in a permanent state of confusion whenever he opened his mouth? Yes. That was more to do with her lack of knowledge on his special interests than it was about him though.
The light faded from their surroundings as they walked, the scientist's voice eventually dying out, leaving them with only the sound of the leaves crunching beneath their feet.
"It's getting dark. Think we better set up camp for the night round here. Stay close to the tracks." Abe pointed in the general direction of the trees. A lot of fucking trees.
They headed over to where he was dropping the packs, Glenn and Dani going rather begrudgingly.
Dani never was a fan of camping after the fall. Before everything went down, she loved it. A day in nature. Surrounded by the wild and living outside. It was something she used to do with her dad when she was young, the one time she'd get to bond with him.
Now he was gone, and all that remained were the memories of what she'd lost.
Also, there were walking corpses in the woods so they sucked all the fun out of the activity.
"I'll take first watch." Tara told them all, leaving no room for arguments. Although both Glenn and Abraham tried to take over, she stood her ground and ordered them all to rest.
As the crickets sang and the survivors slept, Tara rested her back against the trunk of a tree that stood beside the tracks, picking at the skin around her fingernails. Occasionally, she glanced at Lucia's sleeping form and frowned. She missed Lilly. And Meghan. Her sister and niece both losing their lives to the rotters in the same day. Watching her older sister get overwhelmed and devoured in front of her eyes... A chill ran down her spine.
Across the camp, on the other side of the railroad, Dani stared at the sky. She laid her interlocked fingers across her stomach and breathed deeply. Rosita laid beside her, a good distance away, Abe's arm around her waist. They were a wholesome kind of couple. They probably wouldn't have met if it weren't for the dead rising so the fact they found something with each other was beautiful. Danica felt outrageously lonely around them. The longing she tried to push down turned her stomach, forcing her to turn on her side and look away.
In doing so, her gaze caught on Tara. She stared into space, not realising anyone else was awake.
Leaving her makeshift bed behind, Dani approached, lowering herself beside her and mimicking her position, rubbing the dirt off her palms. She had always liked the quiet. As someone who had been referred to as "too loud" multiple times, she basked in the times when she was alone, because she had no reason to be heard.
The silence her and the new girl sat in, however, felt unnatural. Tara glanced at her, unsure why she'd joined her in the first place.
"You should go to sleep. I can do this." She told Dani, who slumped against the tree behind them, the bark rough on her back.
"I know you can. I'm not tired." She protested.
"You've been saying how exhausted you are for hours."
"That was because I was walking." She shook her head, plucking a leaf off of the bush beside her. "How'd you get Abe to agree to leave the holy grail under your watch?" She asked as she tore the plant apart.
"A whole lot of arguing that I didn't wanna get you guys killed."
"He's like a guard dog when it comes to Eugene." Dani told her, glancing at the man as she spoke.
"Well. It's not everyday you meet a guy who can save the world."
"Yeah. I guess so."
"What's the plan with you guys, anyways?" Tara asked quietly.
"Abe said we'd move north with you. Just until he could find a new truck. Then we'd... go our separate ways, I guess."
"Just like that, huh?"
"Just like that." Dani confirmed.
Resting her forehead against her arm, Tara's head dropped between her shoulders, everything about her screaming resigned.
"I'll take over if you want. You need sleep too." Dani offered gently, tapping their shoes together. Tara lifted her gaze a little to meet her eyes. "I haven't seen you do it yet."
She lifted her head again, her refusal to move somehow stressful and admirable. Dani watched her eyes flick to where Glenn slept across the tracks, as though he didn't want to be even a minute away from his path.
"You know, for a second there, we thought you were in love him. I wasn't positive but Abe really believed it. I get why you'd refuse to close your eyes if that was the case."
"If that was the case." Tara breathed out a heavy sigh.
"That's not the case though." Dani concluded.
"What makes you so sure?"
"Besides the slightly too long looks at Rosita and Luci?" She raised a brow.
"Besides that."
"Doesn't seem like that's in your nature. Chasing a married man." Dani explained.
A silence followed before Tara broke it again. "Chasing a man at all." She muttered quietly.
Her suspicions confirmed, Dani settled a little more comfortably. One and the same.
"Not my thing either." She said back. "I... I thought it was. For a while. I thought I liked either option. But... I think I was just trying to fit in." she begun, her shoulders weighing down with her past. "I knew I liked girls, that was undeniable. With guys though... it was so forced. There was this boy— Peter. He had started talking to me in class and I remember being so excited that I might have made a friend. Then, after school one day, he kissed me. I didn't even move. I just let him. Obviously, I had to tell him I only liked him as a friend. He got mad, said I was leading him on or whatever and I realised. I didn't look at them like I looked at girls. The issue was because of what happened, people started spreading rumours before I even had the chance to come out on my own." She picked at her fingernails. "It was terrifying. So I said I like both. The alternative was like... like I was giving them more ammunition. If I liked guys too, then they couldn't really say I was that different."
Tara listened intently, somehow knowing this was the first time she'd admitted why she used to be scared. She didn't have anyone to talk to about this before. No one that would understand at least.
"You shouldn't have had to hide who you were." Tara tried to console her.
"The worst part was I wanted to hide it. They had all forced me to believe that it was this awful thing. That I was dirty for it. It's hard to accept something that you're told you should be ashamed of every single day." Dani sighed, resting her chin on her knees that were drawn up to her chest.
"It's something I did." Tara admitted softly. When greeted with a confused look, she continued, avoiding eye contact. "The reason I'm following him."
"You wanna talk about it?"
"Not really."
"Then, okay." She offered a small sad smile. "All of this... It's just..."
"Bullshit." Tara finished.
"Yeah."
"So you're taking Eugene to Washington. I'm trying to get Glenn back to his wife. We both have our missions." Dani nodded in confirmation. "What do we do when the mission's over?"
She exhaled slowly, considering her answer. "We just have to... find a new purpose."
Tara nodded, finally relaxing back beside her. As their shoulders brushed, Dani could feel the heat radiating from her skin. It wasn't uncomfortable like the warmth of the day, but reassuring. Heartening.
The two let their exhaustion win, their eyes closing one after the other.
☾
"I'm getting really sick of the colour green." Dani cut off Eugene's rant again.
"And train tracks." Lucia added.
"And batteries." Tara mumbled to herself. Dani caught it. She paid much more attention to the woman after the night before.
The short-haired girl slowed, her eyes glued to something ahead of them. When Dani peeked round her body, her own gaze flew to Glenn. Hope. It reflected in his glossy eyes as he read the sign in front of them. Tara rushed forward, like she had to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. It was really there.
A map of the area presented a destination in the middle, the word Terminus in black bold letters. The thing that had Glenn filled with a sudden optimism, however, was the surrounding maroon.
The blood of a walker, brown now after drying, was smeared around the map, spelling out words that Dani wanted to tear up at.
"Glenn. Go To Terminus. Maggie. Sasha. Bob."
Not wanting to waste a second longer, Glenn took off running. He sprinted past the group, fully decked out in gear, leaving them behind without a glance.
The rest of the group looked between each other, Dani meeting her sister's eyes with a propitious smile.
"Well?" She said to the others. "Let's fucking go!"