As soon as the words were out of Felix's mouth, a small but existing feeling of bitterness rested in his chest, one that resembled regret and made his smile dimmer. His curled lips quivered as he cleared his throat and found Hyunjin looking at him with an unreadable expression, which only worsened the situation of his mind "I uh..." He gulps, looking away and avoiding Hyunjin's eyes that looked like they were reading his soul inside and out "I mean, if you want to join you can come, It'd be fun" The previous feeling of relaxation and bliss began to fade as Felix gazed out of the moving car's window and found awkwardness replacing it
Hyunjin's silence made Felix wish he wasn't this loose with his tongue but little was he aware, there was an entirely different hurricane brewing inside of Hyunjin. The blond was silent not because he didn't want to say anything but because he didn't have anything to say, he was at a loss for words and he didn't even know. Felix was asking him to shop with him. Right? He should be feeling distasteful about this scenario because he hates shopping but Hyunjin is fond of the idea, raising more confusion in the man than there already was
Whatever the fuck was happening to him, was not good and needs to stop now. He grits his jaw, trying to remind himself that he has absolutely no time to waste and he doesn't even like shopping to go on a little trip with a complete stranger whom he bedded more than just a few times. He turns away his face from Felix, focusing on the road as he decides it's best to go against the idea of committing bullshit and go on about his business instead but then his tongue goes entirely against what he's thinking and he ends up saying what he never would have imagined himself to, what he was not planning at all
"Sure"
'What? No!' The sensical part of his brain yells, the one that dictates most of his actions but now it's entirely too helpless and Hyunjin ignores it completely even though that is not what he was going to say at all. It's already out, right? He wonders, assuring himself that backing down from his words is not something he does, and to remain rigid on his morals and rules, he now needs to accompany Felix--as if he had not bent his rules and broken a thousand for the very same blue-haired.
It was a small whisper that came from Hyunjin but it still met Felix's ears who turned to look at the blond, not expecting this response, he takes a second or two before smiling lightly even though Hyunjin isn't looking at him, something inside of him immediately feels warm and he can't tell if it's the constant butterflies he feels around Hyunjin or some other monster. Content and bliss return, bringing comfort alongside them as Felix mirrors Hyunjin's words, keeping his eyes on the side of his handsome face
"Sure"
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Felix had never been to a mall like this before, although he liked to indulge in shopping and spending money a little too much than he should, and he's gone to many opulent places. Still, he had never been to one that was this luxurious. His wide eyes glimmer as he takes in the sight of an incredibly tall building, with floors that seemed like infinite if you were to count. His gaze only largens when Hyunjin walks them inside and before Felix notices how beautiful the mall is from the inside as well, a train of servants align by their sides, bowing with their hands held in front
This gesture reminds Felix of that evening they spent in the hotel and he can't help but wonder who is Hyunjin. And why is he so honored regardless of wherever he goes? The blue-haired turns his face around to look at Hyunjin who seemed uninterested in the staff's display of respect as he takes a step to walk past them but this time Felix isn't drunk so his hand reaches to grab Hyunjin's wrist, halting him in his steps. His eyes are furrowed and he feels bothered by the fact that Hyunjin would just stride past the staff and not even acknowledge their greeting. Hyunjin turns around, confusion lacing every corner of his face
"Yes?"
It's obvious he's just the slightest irritated but Felix doesn't care as he nods his head toward the staff, making sure his voice is small and won't meet their ears when he says "They're greeting you" it's simple and he hopes Hyunjin will get the gist but the blond only cocks a brow, takes a single second before nodding his head "Yes" he answers as if Felix wasn't pointing it out but asking a question and it makes the blue-haired sigh "And you're not going to acknowledge them?" Felix's voice is lilted with a tinge of vexation and it forces Hyunjin to knit his brows
Gaze back at him like he's asked him to perform a cartwheel amid the shopping center as he turns his head to look back at the staff and then at Felix, thrown in a predicament as if it is all too hard to just nod his head in the workers' direction and end the greeting there. Two slow seconds slipped away and Felix was about to start a long monologue of manners and ego before Hyunjin cut his expressions of distaste short and looked back at the staff, giving them a nod and earning soft gasps from their side as they only lowered their heads further
"Is that enough?"
he asks, turning to the blue-haired again who still has a grip on his wrist, and Felix nods softly, glad that Hyunjin hadn't put up an argument and raised cause for bitterness to rise between them. Felix looks at the staff when Hyunjin grabs his hand, the blue-haired bows slightly at them and the only one that catches a glimpse of him bowing smiles vividly while Hyunjin drags him away with their hands interlaced.
At first, Hyunjin doesn't realize it, doesn't notice that he had committed the act of holding Felix's hand simply because he was running low on time and needed to get moving, but now, a few seconds later with their feet moving and about, he could feel the familiar eccentric feeling return and flutter in his chest like it was hoisting flags of some sort. His eyes remained narrowed, glaring at whatever came in his path because his head was too fixated on how small Felix's hand felt in his own and how warm it was, as if ideally made for his own large and cold one
a soft shade of pink threatened to spread on Hyunjin's cheeks but he was quick to halt the blood that desired to rush to his face as he looked up at the name of a store on their left and led Felix toward its door "Oh wait, not this one, something cheaper, I haven't got my salary yet" Felix tugged at his hand and stopped him from moving forward, confessing casually as he continued to look around and find a store within his range.
Truth is, he was on a venture for his birthday outfit, a new one because he had worn the one he originally bought the day after Chan broke up with him to the club where he then met Hyunjin. And since he normally always grabs dinner and goes to a bar later with his friends on his birthday, he wouldn't want to repeat an outfit. He's always liked wearing fresh and new clothes while entering another year of his life and he wasn't going to let go of that custom all because a boy dumped him and broke his heart
Hyunjin's eyebrows furrowed when he gazed at Felix "How does that matter?" confusion was written all over his face and his words made Felix look at him "What do you mean how does that matter?" now there are two of them who are confused and that doesn't make things any better, neither do their intertwined hands because Felix's stomach fluttered just the littlest bit and he's doing everything not to pay attention to that feeling "How does it matter if you haven't gotten your salary yet, you're not the one paying" He speaks as if it was obvious
Felix stares at him for a second before furrowing his brows "Uh...yes, I am? I am the one who came to shop remember?" He raises his previously knitted brows and Hyunjin nods "Yes" Either one of them is missing a point here and they both look incredibly dumb "And? I am going to pay because I initiated to shop, because I need to buy clothes?" Felix is so close to pulling the relatively controversial face he makes around Seungmin whenever he's confused, the one where he twists his face and it looks like...just questionable
"I'm paying, Felix" Hyunjin says it so abruptly that Felix barely has time to comprehend as the blond tugs at his hand and drags him toward the luxurious shop "Hyunjin--no, seriously" But he's not heard and there's only so much you can do when the other person completely ignores you. He sighs heavily when they enter the store, upon first glance Felix falls in love with it but then reminds him he shouldn't really be here, Hyunjin had no reason or right to buy him anything and he was going to argue with him until his eyes took a closer look at how insanely beautiful everything in here was
and for a second, as they walked toward the center of the store that was lit with saturated lights and glass ceilings, he nearly swung away from his conscience but was quick enough to grasp the reigns of it and bring himself back to reality as he looked at Hyunjin and spoke lightly, making sure it won't meet someone else's ears "Hyunjin, you're not paying" He speaks like it's a valid argument and his speech is not akin to a seven-year-old as the blond turns to look at him, their hands still intertwined and his heart still racing
"Why not?" He licks his lips, doing his best to remain grounded and in character but his mind that's occupied by Felix's shiny eyes and warm hand makes it all the more difficult "Because I'm a working adult and I can pay for myself?" Felix cocks a brow, ready to throw another statement in the mix but Hyunjin's words cut him off "Doesn't mean I can't pay for you" Felix huffs, eyebrows knitted "You can't! why would you?" The blue-haired is having a hard time making sense of Hyunjin's invalid argument but the taller only shrugs
"Why won't I? You're shopping, I'm paying. End of discussion" And before Felix opens his mouth and lets out another argument the man lets go of his hand, more for his own sanity than for anything else, and places it in between his shoulder blades and pushes him forward oh-so-softly "Let's get you something nice, hm?" He cocks a brow and Felix feels just the littlest dizzy because Hyunjin is too attractive and suddenly his throat has gone dry as the man shifts his hand lower and places it on the small of his back, guiding him around while Felix reels in whatever is happening right now.
Even to the man himself, it is not clear why he is being so persistent in paying but he chalks it up to manners. Right, manners. Felix looks down, gulping a little when Hyunjin walks them over to various clothes displayed and a trail of staff follows them, his eyes graze the many garments and he tries not to think about the warmth of Hyunjin next to him so he focuses on what he wants to get and the music that's playing softly in the background of the store. Soon enough, it is Felix who is guiding them around as he takes the lead and strides around in the store, taking in everything and varying his options
Within a few minutes, Felix starts to hum along to a song playing in the store and Hyunjin fights a smile, standing behind him, watching him decide between two articles of clothes as he sings softly along to the song, loud enough that only Hyunjin could hear him and the blond is having a hard time ignoring his beating heart. Felix recognizes the song, unknowingly hums to it, and suddenly, his heart shatters as the lyrics ring in his ear and flashbacks rise before his lids alongside pain in his chest and he freezes
'Strangers in the night exchanging glances
Wondering in the night'
He stops grazing the clothes, stops wondering what would look best as all the colors from his face flush and he's suddenly taken over by an overwhelming feeling of woe. The image of Chan smiling widely, his dimples, his warm eyes, his gentle touch, sweet kisses, saccharine laugh and everything about that damned man that made Felix fall in love with him
'What were the chances we'd be sharing love
Before the night was through'
It takes Hyunjin a second to recognize something had gone wrong, a look of concern crosses his face as he steps closer to the man before him, peeking at the side of his face and trying to fathom why he had suddenly grown frozen and has begun gazing into nothingness with empty and glazed eyes of sorrow
'Something in your eyes was so inviting
Something in your smile was so exciting'
Chan had laughed so beautifully that night when they were heading back to their shared apartment--what once used to be home--from dinner, one that he orchestrated for Felix on his birthday, the one where he gave him the most beautiful gift; a pendant. Though it wasn't anything too meaningful and unique, still, Felix was swept off of his feet much like the first time Chan confessed his love to him, the pendant had been a sun and a daisy, intertwined and Chan had said something along the lines of 'You're my sunshine, my daisy, and I need you to be reminded of it constantly, of how much you matter to me'
'Something in my heart
Told me I must have you'
Felix had a hard time holding a sob as he stumbled backward and his back collided with Hyunjin's chest. The blond immediately held him, didn't allow even a chance of him falling as he called out his name softly at first but when Felix remained cemented he called his name out just the littlest loudly and Felix was snatched from his state of mind as he turned his head to look back at Hyunjin, tears dancing in his brown eyes and making Hyunjin tighten his jaw. There's anger rising in him and he doesn't understand why, why did the sight of a saddened Felix make him upset?
'Strangers in the night
Two lonely people we were strangers in the night'
That's the song Chan had asked to be played by the live musicians he had hired for their utterly cheesy but equally romantic dinner. He had said it reflected them, that he loved that song because it always reminded him of Felix and as the blue-haired gazes at Hyunjin he can't help but wonder if it's still true, if Chan still listens to this song and thinks of him "Does he still think of me?" It's a whisper that escapes his lips, not intentionally, he had only been thinking those words but somehow they slipped past the barricade of his mouth and Hyunjin was beyond perplexed
"Who?" He questioned and Felix's mind clicked into place when the song abruptly changed into something else, something livelier and happier. His back was still pressed against Hyunjin's chest and the blond was still holding onto his forearm, making sure he was grounded. Felix sighed and licked his lips, clearing his throat and standing on his own, looking down at the ground as the embarrassment dawned on him and he didn't know how to act now to prevent this from worsening "Are you okay?" Hyunjin queries, gently and it somehow feels like a cooling balm against Felix's burn
The blue-haired licked his lips, inhaling a soft breath as he nodded, stepped a little more away from Hyunjin before turning toward him and smiling softly "Sorry, I zoned out" He acted like he hadn't been acting like a near lunatic, pretending like his smile could make up for the tears shining in his eyes as he does everything to blink them away and sighs heavily, starting to walk further from the man because he knew if he stood there for a few more seconds, all his grief would rise to the surface because for some reason Hyunjin is all too comforting and he can't hide his sorrows from him
Hyunjin remains quiet, doesn't press on it as he watches Felix walk away from him and he knows something is off, knows something is wrong but he reminds himself it's not his business or his concern.
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Felix had selected seven outfits in total and it took him only three hours to do that, yeah, such a short amount of time! (Hyunjin is losing his sanity) and now he was in the dressing room, he had asked Hyunjin to sit on the couch in front of the small mound where he could try things and get up on for Hyunjin to have a good preview of. The blond had obliged his request sweetly but the more minutes that ticked away, the further agitated the rational part of his mind become, you know the one that often shits on Felix? yeah, that one.
Hyunjin was trying his best and doing what he could to remain calm despite the wrath rising within him, he wasn't angry at Felix but at himself, for having wasted all his time that he needed for much more important things than hearing Felix whine about 'This one's so cute but I hate its color!' or 'It's so ugly but I love its color!' yet even through the haze of his anger, Hyunjin was situated calmly on the couch, dwelling on how pretty Felix is while his hand loosely grips an expensive glass of whiskey
'He's easy on the eyes, nice to touch, I can afford to waste some time on him as a treat' He tries to bribe his mind, tries to speak in its (nasty) language and tries to let his mind know that it was okay if he had done this, that it was alright for him to hold Felix's hand, admire him from the mirror as he put things against his body to test if they looked pretty, alright that his heart fluttered when Felix giggled at nonsensical things and alright if a small part of him actually enjoyed this time more than he wanted to
It was okay
he repeated the mantra in his mind and tried to calm his rising anger. So far, Felix had put on three outfits and though Hyunjin thought he looked absolutely stunning in them, the blue-haired hated them on him and had been doing this for all three of them, his taste made Hyunjin wonder if they would ever get out of this store. The whiskey feels chilly against his throat as he slides a sip down and sighs softly, waits patiently for Felix and tells his mind they'd be done with this in a minute and then they can go, leave and finish business
but then Felix steps out of the dressing room and little is he aware, all his plans are soon to be damned.
Dressed in black from tip to toe, slim figure accentuated. Black leather pants, a cropped suit jacket going above his belly button and revealing his hard abs, a chain curved around the pocket of the cropped suit and dangling, adding a tinge of elegance to the otherwise flashy outfit while the suit jacket was buttoned up to Felix's chest, revealing just a little bit of his skin from above. The sight nearly makes Hyunjin drool, how can someone be so pretty and handsome and sexy?
He's frozen, just gawking at Felix as the blue-haired walks over to the ivory mound and steps on it, first looking at himself in the mirror then turning over to Hyunjin, a soft pout on his lips as he runs his hands down the sides of his waist, trying to force himself to get this fit but it's too much for his liking "What do you think? I love it but it's not something I can wear at a birthday dinner, you know?" He huffs lightly, looking down at the outfit while Hyunjin remains silent, lips parted and eyes slightly widened, heart in his throat and hands almost shaking because he was just a mortal man and Felix was a divine deity like he'd often say
"Remember the outfit I wore when we first met? You probably don't-" Hyunjin remembered, very well in fact, but what he remembered better was how he slid it off of Felix that very night "But it was kinda simple, right? This is too...'' Felix trails off, unable to find the right words as he looks up at Hyunjin and finds him gaping at him which makes him confused "Hyunjin?" He calls out lightly "Perfect" the man whispers, it's more of a reflection of his thoughts than a statement but Felix still hears it "You like it?" The blue-haired cocks a brow and turns around to gaze at himself properly again
"I mean I love it, but as I said it's not--" Felix's words are stopped when he sees Hyunjin take out his card from his coat's pocket as he rises from the couch "We will get you another one for your birthday" Hyunjin utters, in the time they spent here the blond had learned all of Felix's custom of going out on his birthday with his friends or family and wearing new clothes and---It's a lot. The woman who was standing by Hyunjin's side immediately rushes to get the credit card machine even though they only receive cash and that too, only on the counter, still, she doesn't argue because she knows better than to interrupt Hwang Hyunjin
Felix stands there perplexed as he watches Hyunjin finish paying and making his way toward him, the sound of his shoes clicking in the store as he stops in front of Felix and holds out his hand like a gallant gentleman "Let's go, pretty" his huskily smoky voice whispers and Felix is stunned for a second because he's taken again by the realization and shock of Hyunjin being as handsome as he is so he lags for a second, finds his throat going dry before he slides his small hand into Hyunjin's without thinking much, his eyes plastered on the man's narrowed and shadowed ones as he quickly fathoms what this meant
Once Hyunjin helps him step down from the mound, he notices how the blond visibly gulps, clenches his jaw and leads him toward the changing room.
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As he is gently guided inside the changing room, Felix finds his hands turning sweaty and because Hyunjin had locked the door and now he has his hand on his waist, they're facing each other and when Felix is pushed against the closed door he loses all idea of how to breathe and stops altogether, eyes locked with Hyunjin's and chest echoing with the beating of his heart. Hyunjin looks handsome—no, he looks way too good to be true and having him right in front of himself, so close within his reach, makes Felix dizzy, but it's only worsened by what Hyunjin says next
"Can I kiss you, pretty?"
Hyunjin sounds like he's restraining himself and Felix can't remember when was the last time he found someone this attractive so he immediately nods his head yes and comes clashing Hyunjin's mouth against his, paced but oh-so-sweet as he parts his lips and takes Felix's in between his plumper ones, sucking lightly on the blue-haired's glossy ones and humming against the taste of them. Their eyes are closed, Hyunjin's palms are placed flat against the door behind Felix and the blue-haired's hands have found their way to Hyunjin's chest, resting there while the blond continues to kiss him ravishingly
Hyunjin's lips move against Felix's mouth like they're a sacred blessing and Felix finds himself mewling lightly, losing control of himself as he presses his back further against the door and wraps his arms around Hyunjin's neck, pulling him closer. Hyunjin never imagined in his wildest dreams he'd ever enjoy kissing someone so much, to the point where his body was buzzing with bliss and his head was all fuzzy by the taste of the blue-haired's mouth, his sweet sounds and his gentle touch.
Does it always feel this good? Hyunjin can't help but wonder even through his dense mist of pleasure. It doesn't, comes the answer and he can't help but push his mouth into Felix's further, rougher, harsher
This kiss should not be this good and Hyunjin hates how much he loves it, how much he loves the way Felix molds himself in his arms or the way he responds back to his beastly way of kissing him, the sounds he makes and the way his touches feel like they're meant for Hyunjin and Hyunjin only. Because oxygen shivers in their lungs, they pull away and inhale a sharp breath to fill whatever they have been depriving themselves of. Felix's eyes look at Hyunjin's face while the other's fall to his lips and the blue-haired can feel every ounce of lust and yearning shining behind those eyes
What he fails to notice is the admiration in them but that's a conversation for another day. Felix smiles softly and begins speaking "Is that why you brought me here, to kiss me?" He asks, a lilt of mischief in his voice but Hyunjin fails to notice it because he's still occupied by something else. The blond looks up only because Felix has spoken and his words make him silent, bringing him back to reality as he stares into Felix's eyes and thinks for only a second before humming in response earning a surprised look from the blue-haired. Hyunjin doesn't know why Felix is surprised but the blue-haired speaks and he pushes his own question down
"Why didn't you do it out there?" Felix isn't even aware of the reason he's asking this but the question has risen within him and he doesn't wish to ignore it. Hyunjin licks his lips softly before answering "I wanted your permission, I didn't know if you'd be comfortable with that" he answers honestly and the familiar butterflies that reside in Felix's chest flutter again and a subtle shade of rogue kisses his cheeks as he gulps lightly. Did Hyunjin always have to be so nice to him? Sure, what he's done isn't all that much but even this bare minimum of action made Felix nibble on his bottom lip out of shyness. Hyunjin's eyes fall down to his lips, glinting a little before he speaks
"Don't bite your lips--I'll do that for you"
And with that, he leans in again, contradictory to his morals of always asking before he took an intimate action but this time he couldn't help it and a small part of him knew if Felix wanted him to stop, he'd tell him. Their lips collided again and Felix gasped audibly only for Hyunjin to swallow it. There's no point describing how incredibly fast his heart had begun beating, could Hyunjin grow any more attractive? He can't help but wonder. Everything the man does makes Felix weak in the knees and he's not sure he can handle more. The blond grazes his teeth against Felix's lips before taking his bottom one in between and grinding just the slightest that he hears a loud moan from the blue-haired's side but no indication that he should stop.
Felix cards his fingers in his hair, Intoxicated with the way Hyunjin kisses him as the man grabs his wrists, pulls them away from his hair and places them above Felix's head with a single hand, keeping him pinned against the wall Hyunjin bites his bottom lip again and this time the blue-haired whines loudly, all in sheer pleasure as he nearly shivers and the blond smirks at the reaction he pulled from Felix. The kiss continues heatedly and passionately before they're forced to pull away and gaze into one another's eyes hungrily
Hyunjin's eyes pan down to Felix's outfit, the yearning rising within him like a storm as he takes in the marvelous sight before he looks up at Felix "You look beautiful" It's said simply and Hyunjin has said it before too, but this time, it feels different and Felix can't pinpoint why. His breath hitches as he finds the idea of being pinned against a wall and being stared down at by the blond too hot that it nearly suffocates him "Thank you" he manages to drag out as he leans his face toward Hyunjin who smiles softly toward him before leaning in to peck his lips. It lasts for a mere second and Felix is unsatisfied when Hyunjin pulls away but the glint in his eyes had the blue-haired silenced
"Would you like to be fucked in front of a mirror, pretty?"
His sultry voice sends shivers down Felix's back and he realizes Hyunjin is referring to the vast mirror in front of them as he gulps and licks his lips, stomach twisting in heat as he gathers the courage to answer because even though he knows his answer, he still doesn't know how to say it without sounding like he's begging Hyunjin
"By you, yes"
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Ignore any mistakes pls I didn't have time to proofread this 😭 anyways, thank you for reading I love you mwah. Since this is a double update, the next chapter will be published within minutes <3