「 twenty-four ✧ one kiss... 」
"As ready as we'll ever be," Emilia muttered from beside me.
Emilia and I had set some ground rules before we came, which were essentially that we should lie about everything to convince the therapist that we were truly a couple.
The therapist clapped her hands. "Perfect. My name is Rebecca, and you two are Emilia and Augustus, is that correct?"
"Yes," I grumbled.
"Well, this is pretty exciting. I usually get older patients, so having younger faces in here is refreshing. You two are a couple, yes?"
"We-"
"It's complicated," Emilia said, interrupting me. "We're working through things."
"Fair enough. First, I'm going to go through a series of questions, and I need you two to answer them as honestly as possible. Ready?"
"Sure," we responded.
"Have you ever been to couples therapy before?"
"This is our first time," I said.
Rebecca made a note before proceeding with, "How long have you two been together?"
We glanced at each other, and Emilia quickly responded with, "Almost seven months."
While the therapist looked down at her notes, I rose my brows at Emilia. "Seven months?" I mouthed.
She shrugged, as if saying, what else was I supposed to say?
I shook my head, turning my attention back to Rebecca. "And what are your expectations for couple's therapy?" she continued.
"We are hoping to form a better relationship that's not based off... arguing all the time. Our friends constantly complain about it," Emilia explained.
"And you believe that the relationship is salvageable? Despite the arguments?" Rebecca asked.
"Of course." Emilia grinned widely; a smile I knew was completely fake. Then she turned to me, placing a hand over mine. "We just want to get along better."
Lord, save me.
"I see," Rebecca said, eyeing me. "And, may I ask, how's your sex life?"
Emilia started coughing obnoxiously next to me, immediately taking her hand from my lap. I just grinned.
"I would say it's decent," I responded, the smirk permanently etched onto my face. "But some of us need a little work."
"Excuse me?" Emilia stopped coughing immediately, piercing me with a glare. "Let's not forget the time I had to fake my orgasm because you couldn't give head properly."
I saw the challenge in her eyes, and I took it. Let the lies commence. "Oh really, I'm bad at giving head? Then what are you?"
"Oh, I assure you that I can-"
"You two, please." Rebecca put her hands out. "I didn't realize this was a sensitive subject. Let's talk this out peacefully. Emilia, voice your concerns first, please."
My nemesis glared at me, no doubt formulating her lies, before saying, "He isn't satisfying me."
I barked out a laugh, but Rebecca silenced me with a look. "In what ways is he not satisfying you, Emilia?"
Her lips twitched upward, as if she enjoyed dehumanizing me. Which I'm sure she did. "He prioritizes himself."
"Bullshit," I spat. "What about last night? When I made you come three times on my face?"
I reveled in the blush that rose to her cheeks at my blatant lie. God, this was fun. "Shut up. And it was not three times."
"I'm pretty sure it was."
"You're mistaken. It was only once, if that."
I turned to Rebecca, who was taking notes on our conversation. "Trust me, she came three times."
The therapist seemed unphased, as if this topic of conversation was brought up a lot. "Emilia voiced her issues with your sex. What are yours, Augustus?"
I shrugged, as if this weren't bothering me at all. As if I weren't imagining Emilia writhing beneath me as I kneeled between her legs. "It's just boring."
"Boring?" Emilia echoed from beside me.
"Yes." I turned to her. "Boring."
"How is it boring?" Rebecca asked.
"Yeah, Augustus, how is it boring?" Emilia repeated, eyes narrowing into slits.
"You barely ever want to have sex in the first place. And when you do, it lasts ten minutes, and then you fall asleep."
Emilia crossed her arms across her chest, and it took every inch of self-restraint to not glance down. "I'm a medical student. Of course, I'm tired."
"You're not a medical student yet. We're in our second year of the Harvard undergraduate program."
"Harvard?" Rebecca interrupted.
"Oh, right. We're from Harvard. We're in California for a college program," Emilia explained, seeming grateful to talk about something other than sex.
And so was I, because fuck. Those images of Emilia running through my mind...
"Wow, that's amazing. Congratulations, you two." Rebecca smiled at the both of us. "Now, unfortunately, I'm not a sex therapist. I could refer you to one-"
"No!" Emilia and I shouted at the same time.
The therapist furrowed her brows. "Okay then... well, my suggestion to you both would be to find more time to enjoy yourselves. Talk about ways to make it not boring and satisfying for the both of you. Does you both promise to do that?"
"Yes," I mumbled, trying not to think of all the ways I could satisfy Emilia. She just nodded beside me.
"Perfect. Now, your file says you two were constantly fighting, and I believe that you mentioned that concern earlier as well. Could you two delve into why these arguments arise?"
"It's mainly Augustus' fault," Emilia started, sending a sharp glare my way. "He's too competitive."
"I'm competitive?" I scoffed. "You're one to talk."
"So, the issue is rooted in competition? Do you two fight... academically?" Rebecca scribbled down some notes.
"You could say that," I mused. "We began as rivals. Harvard is a very competitive university, as you know. We were in a lot of the same classes together, and we would always compete to see who got the highest scores."
"It was stupid, really," Emilia added from beside me.
"I see. And how did you two decide you wanted to put aside your differences and be together?"
"Well-"
"I remember the day perfectly." I interrupted Emilia, who shot me a dangerous glance. Game on, Emilia. You wanted to humiliate me? It's time for me to humiliate you. "It was a Wednesday evening. I was studying for our biology exam the next day when I heard a knock on my dorm room door. I was alone; my roommate had gone out with his girlfriend. So I walked over, opened the door, and there was Emilia.
"She was drenched because it was raining outside. In her rush to get over to me, she'd forgotten to grab an umbrella." I winked at Emilia, who rolled her eyes at me. "I asked her what she was doing, but before I knew it, she was ranting about how much she couldn't believe she was doing this, and how she couldn't stop thinking of me."
"And then," Emilia said, interrupting me and continuing the charade, "Augustus said he felt the same. He confessed his feelings, his 'love for me' as he called it, and then he grabbed my hips, pulled me to him, and kissed me."
"That's beautiful," Rebecca said, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. I almost felt bad that we were lying about the entire thing. Almost. "How could you two fight after a love confession like that?"
"It wasn't a love confession," I muttered at the same time Emilia exclaimed, "Right? Augustus says that he loves me, and then he goes and fights with me about everything."
I scowled at her, and she gave me a pouty frown that drew my attention to her lips. Shit. I'd give a lot to be able to kiss her right now.
I think the therapist was speaking, but I couldn't hear her. Not over my pounding heart and the pictures in my head of Emilia.
Fuck. What was she doing to me?
✦✧✦✧
The rest of the meeting went by fairly similarly. We lied our asses off, Rebecca gave us advice, and I was stuck imagining Emilia beneath me.
By the time the hour was up, I was desperate to get out of the room. Desperate to talk to Emilia.
As soon as we said our goodbyes and shut the door behind us, I grabbed Emilia's arm and pulled her into the nearest deserted hallway. I shoved her against the wall, relishing the way that she stared angrily up at me.
"What are you doing?" she hissed.
"I couldn't stop."
"Couldn't stop what? Augustus, we could get caught-"
"I couldn't stop picturing you underneath me. On top of me. In front of me. I couldn't stop imagining you in that hotel bed, Lia, screaming my name. The whole fucking hour."
She stared up at me, lips parted. "August..."
"Lie to me, Lia. Tell me you hate me. Tell me you don't want this." I leaned closer to her, my lips by her ear. "Tell me that if I slide my hand up this short, sexy dress that I won't find you dripping wet for me."
Simultaneously, I slowly dragged my hand up her leg, nearing the hem of her dress. I felt her arch toward me, her breathing growing ragged, her heart beating rapidly.
"Please," she whispered.
"Please what, Lia? Use your words." I pressed my lips to her pulse point; a brush, barely a kiss. But it was enough to make her shut her eyes, enough to make her tongue dart out to wet her lips.
"Someone could see us," she breathed.
"Who cares?" I continue placing feather-light kisses along her nape, savoring the way her breath hitched every time my lips came into contact with her skin.
"August..." She placed her hands on my chest, as if to push me away, but didn't take the action.
So I pulled away, looking into her eyes. "Do you want me to stop?"
We shared a breath – a short, gasping breath – before she slowly shook her head. "I don't want you to stop. But... this can't happen."
"Says who?"
"Fuck, August. Don't you get it?" She backed away from me. "Says me. You're going to kiss me, and it'll be great until we have to 'forget it happened' and go back to being rivals. What will happen when we're forced to stay in the same hotel room after this?"
"We can figure it out-"
"But we can't, can we? One kiss will lead to something else, and then something else, and then there will be the promise of commitment. Are you ready to commit to me, Casen?"
Casen. I was beginning to hate it when she addressed me by my last name. "I don't know."
"Exactly. We can't be together. And if we kiss, or do anything more, then we'll just fuck it up." She turned around, beginning to pace, which made my lips twitch upward.
"Not necessarily," I responded.
She flipped back around to face me, exasperated. "How?"
"We can just try it. Just once. We can kiss once, see what we think, and go from there. If it's absolutely horrible, then we can forget it ever happened. If not... then you can decide what to do," I offered. I hated that I was practically begging her for a kiss, but... fuck. I needed to get her out of my system. I needed to quit picturing her without her clothes on. I needed to kiss her, I needed it to be the worst kiss of my life, and then I could move the fuck on.
When she didn't respond, I continued. "We can go back to the hotel room, and you can think about it on the way back. Deal?"
"Alright," she said hesitantly. "I'll think about it on the ride back to the hotel."
The bus ride was short, but I was bouncing my leg the whole time, nonetheless. A part of me felt pathetic for wanting her so badly, but another part of me just wanted to fucking kiss her. And it clouded all of my rational judgment.
We got back to the hotel, and she still hadn't said a word. The elevator ride up was silent, and she still wasn't speaking when I opened our hotel room door and let her walk in before me.
She set her things down, and then finally, finally, she turned to me.
"Alright," she said.
"Alright?"
"Alright," she repeated. "One kiss, right?"
"Just one," I replied, not being able to wipe the smirk off my face.
"And... I'll decide what happens afterward? And if it's bad, we can just forget it?"
"Just like that." I snapped my fingers, imitating how quickly I could forget the kiss.
She fiddled with the ring on her finger, before stepping closer to me. "You better make it good, Casen."
"You fucking bet I will," I whispered, my mouth inches from hers.
I let my hands rest on her hips, drawing her closer. Then she rested one hand on my shoulder and the other in my hair, and it was my undoing.
"One kiss," she breathed.
"One kiss," I answered.
And as soon as my lips landed on hers, I knew.
I knew I would never be able to forget this.
hey guys... don't hate me for the cliffhanger !! be grateful that they're even KISSING. i'd originally planned for them to kiss in like chapter 30, but i could NOT resist writing in a kissing scene and i know so many of you keep asking me for one, so here you are ;)
thank you so much for reading, and i'll see you at the end of chapter 25 <3