𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄, xolo...

By -achillesheeI

15.9K 714 412

extended summary inside! in which maeve tanner and xolo maridueña are proof that hate and love are not so di... More

o. the last one
one. am i bovvered
two. if i was that pretty i'd be kind of mean too
three. that's not very feminist of you
four. caffeine and spite
five. a digital footprint rivalled by only that of medusa
six. if you ruin my kissing career
seven. i can take constructive criticism
eight. this is courtney henggeler's show
nine. i can't believe you masterminded me
ten. you could sell your arm for a good few thousand now
eleven. now's the time to add her on pokémon go
twelve. strong platonic feelings
thirteen. let me know when to expect to be shanked for being team jacob
fourteen. short and emotionally inarticulate
fifteen. the permanent evidence of your own stupidity
sixteen. invisible strings my dear
seventeen. i am an absolute fucking fool
eighteen. at least you're self aware
nineteen. he's heartbroken over the betrayal of jake gyllenhaal
twenty. i think ones stabbing me in the ass right now
twenty one. get in the bed and see what happens
twenty two. i wanted my career just to be nepo brother
twenty three. will i get to witness ralph macchio playing beerio kart
twenty four. this is a hoes before bros world
twenty five. maybe distance would make the heart fonder
twenty six. don't back to december me
twenty seven. what do i know of oregon
twenty eight. latino boys anonymous
twenty nine. if this pub quiz ends my relationship

thirty. you are the hottest evil genius ever

377 25 9
By -achillesheeI

STRAWBERRY WINE ENTHUSIASTS🥂
seven participants

COOPER #2
happy premiere day xolo maevey
and lacy!!!!

JSTB
WOOP WOOP HAPPY PREMIERE
DAY
I HOPE YOU ALL LOOK SUPER SEXY
STILL BITTER I DIDN'T GET AN
INVITE

PONYBOY CURTIS
you absolutely should be

JSTB
:(

COOPER #1
are premieres not kind of lame
isn't it just a smile and wave
scenario
(but also happy premiere day
love u guys xxx)

JSTB
smile and wave boys smile and wave

PONYBOY CURTIS
not when maeve tanner is involved

COOPER #2
come again

SHOELACE
oh maeve tanner you are the hottest
evil genius ever

JSTB
HUH

COOPER #1
twitter
check twitter right now

COOPER #2
MAVERICK TANNER I'M IN LOVE
WITH YOU

JSTB
:(
i uninstalled twitter again can someone
tell me what's going on

SHOELACE
is that because you're problematic

COOPER #2
yes

JSTB
no
i've never been problematic in my
life

COOPER #1
MAEVE TANNER THE ICON
LEGEND THAT YOU ARE

COOPER #2
PHOTOS
I NEED THEM FRAMED
RIGHT NOW

JSTB
what :(

PONYBOY CURTIS
maeve would love to tell you
herself but alas the real stars
are busy with press so i will
let you know
actually
no i won't
suffer jacob <3

JSTB
:(

COOPER #2
XOLO IS WEARING THE TWILIGHT
TSHIRT AT THE PREMIERE
THE ONE TAIYO GOT MAEVE FOR
HER BIRTHDAY

COOPER #1
i knew she was plotting with that
little revenge scheme

SHOELACE
xolo is being dragged into EVERY
photo we take on this carpet this
is such an iconic moment

PONYBOY CURTIS
i knew there had to be a reason
she wanted me to be here with
such insistence

JSTB
well now i really wish i had to go
might even pay the getty expenses
to get unwatermarked photos

COOPER #2
thank the universe for the butterfly
effect that lead to xolo maridueña
wearing a twilight tshirt at a movie
premiere

COOPER #1
this will be the biggest hit of his
career

THE INTERNET'S BOYFRIEND
okay first of all
you all SUCK
my career is perfectly fine
DO NOT pay for those damn photos
and DO NOT frame them

PONYBOY CURTIS
if you care so much then why'd you
do it xolito

JSTB
because he's in LOOOOOVE

THE INTERNET'S BOYFRIEND
maeve says hello
and that she's too classy to use her
phone on a carpet
but she loves you all and is glad you
appreciate her genius

SHOELACE
maeve and xolo
my edward and bella <3

COOPER #1
100% convinced by the interpretation
that xolo is bella

JSTB
can i be ratatouille

THE INTERNET'S BOYFRIEND
my beautiful daughter

JSTB
oop just found the photos


THE INTERNET'S BOYFRIEND


THE INTERNET
< tanner buchanan 3

THE INTERNET'S BOYFRIEND
THAT'S WHEN YOU FINALLY CHIME
IN

THE INTERNET
shush xolito its film time

☆☆☆

XOLO_MARIDUENA

LIKED BY HAVENANGELICA AND OTHERS
XOLO_MARIDUENA this film has been such a wonderful experience, and now it's yours. "just from" is in theatres now 💜 (i don't want to hear anything about my premiere outfit from anyone)

TAGGED: MAEVETANNER

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USERONE THE BTS PHOTO AWH AWH

USERTWO all anyone wants to talk about is the premiere outfit oh my god

USERTHREE xolo has been converted to team edward

THEJACOBBERTRAND WOOO CONGRATS LITO! and congrats on finding the love of your life that was also super great ig
USERFOUR the love of his life i'm sobbing 😭

USERFIVE XOLO AND MAEVE YOU WERE INCREDIBLE

TAIYOCURTIS can't wait to see your stupid faces on the big screen 100 more times 🩷
CASPIANCOOP first date idea?🥰
TAIYOCURTIS OH MY GOD MAEVE SOMETHING'S HAPPENING

USERSIX he's come so far from little miguel diaz :,)

GIANNI_DECENZO so proud of you bro !

LACYABU my favourite people for ever and ever
XOLO_MARIDUENA MY BEST FRIEND LACY idk where i'd be without you 💞
CASPIANCOOP single probably

USERSEVEN they are the most beautiful couple ever oh my god

USEREIGHT so sad they didn't end up together in the film
USERNINE womp womp
TANNERALEX yeah womp womp

HAVENANGELICA so happy for you xo <3 (mainly because i got three new best friends out of you doing this film, i was sick of you and jacoby)
MAEVETANNER haven cooper i love you so much never ever leave me even when i eventually get bored of xolo

MAEVETANNER xolito maridueña i also love you so much

MAEVETANNER more than i loved my middle school boyfriend xolo chavéz
XOLO_MARIDUENA excuse me who

MAEVETANNER it was an honour doing this project with you

MAEVETANNER so happy i get to ghost you now
XOLO_MARIDUENA YOU CANNOT GHOST ME AFTER THE TWILIGHT TSHIRT DEBACLE
MAEVETANNER bet?
USERTEN LMAO
XOLO_MARIDUENA you're all being deceived maeve is actually half asleep on top of me as she types this
XOLO_MARIDUENA she outgrew hating me even if she denies it
XOLO_MARIDUENA earlier she told me that she'd be the last one standing at my movie premieres when the ovation fades because she adores me
MAEVETANNER i only said that because he made me waffles :(
OLLIETAN you guys are gross

☆☆☆

MAEVETANNER

🔘⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️

⚪🔘⚪️⚪️⚪

⚪️⚪️🔘⚪️⚪️

️⚪️⚪️⚪️🔘⚪️

⚪⚪️⚪️⚪️🔘
LIKED BY THEJACOBBERTRAND AND OTHERS
MAEVETANNER happy premiere and release day! nico, angel, elin and "just from" are all yours now. i hope you love this film and these people as much as i do, because it sure was a journey of love and hate to get here. oh and here's the tshirt xolo wore for the premiere. it was a little short on him but i thought he pulled it off well ;)

TAGGED: XOLO_MARIDUENA, LACYABU, ADRIANNADEL, TIMIKING

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