𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄, xolo...

By -achillesheeI

15.8K 714 410

extended summary inside! in which maeve tanner and xolo maridueña are proof that hate and love are not so di... More

o. the last one
one. am i bovvered
two. if i was that pretty i'd be kind of mean too
three. that's not very feminist of you
four. caffeine and spite
five. a digital footprint rivalled by only that of medusa
six. if you ruin my kissing career
seven. i can take constructive criticism
eight. this is courtney henggeler's show
nine. i can't believe you masterminded me
ten. you could sell your arm for a good few thousand now
eleven. now's the time to add her on pokémon go
twelve. strong platonic feelings
thirteen. let me know when to expect to be shanked for being team jacob
fourteen. short and emotionally inarticulate
fifteen. the permanent evidence of your own stupidity
sixteen. invisible strings my dear
seventeen. i am an absolute fucking fool
eighteen. at least you're self aware
nineteen. he's heartbroken over the betrayal of jake gyllenhaal
twenty. i think ones stabbing me in the ass right now
twenty one. get in the bed and see what happens
twenty two. i wanted my career just to be nepo brother
twenty three. will i get to witness ralph macchio playing beerio kart
twenty four. this is a hoes before bros world
twenty five. maybe distance would make the heart fonder
twenty six. don't back to december me
twenty seven. what do i know of oregon
twenty eight. latino boys anonymous
thirty. you are the hottest evil genius ever

twenty nine. if this pub quiz ends my relationship

331 21 9
By -achillesheeI

XOLO_MARIDUENA

LIKED BY MAEVETANNER AND OTHERS
XOLO_MARIDUENA it's october fourteenth somehow so happy twenty first mavericky, i'm your biggest fan <3 consider this the deliberate hard launch

TAGGED: MAEVETANNER

VIEW ALL COMMENTS

USERONE OH MY GOD

USERTWO SOBBING

HAVENANGELICA shoutout to xolosphotos for this masterpiece of a photo 😍😍

USERTHREE they are everything to me

THEJACOBBERTRAND she's finally 21 you're not gonna catch a case anymore :D
XOLO_MARIDUENA 😐

USERFOUR who remembers the drought we had when they were filming like these two weren't even FRIENDS

USERFIVE you feel like dropping all the bts pics for maeve's birthday because i just know you guys have so many
LACYABU omg good idea maybe we should :) also HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAEVEY BABY💛

TAIYOCURTIS no no you're doing birthdays wrong the goal is to post the worst photos of the person not this absolute masterpiece

USERSIX dude she's way too cool for you
XOLO_MARIDUENA trust me i know she tells me every day

USERSEVEN HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAEVE

USEREIGHT anyone wanna be the xolo to my maeve

CASPIANCOOP happy birthday maverick my love !!!

THEJACOBBERTRAND oh yeah that happy birthday to my FRIEND maeve she's such a good FRIEND i'm so glad we're FRIENDS
XOLO_MARIDUENA what point are you trying to make here
THEJACOBBERTRAND i was just trying to emphasise that me and maeve are finally friends but in retrospect this wasn't the best way to do it

USERNINE how are we in october we're only like one month away from release omg

MISSMARYMOUSER happy birthday maeve! 🩷

TANNERBUCHANANOFFICIAL so happy we have you around to keep xolo in his place
MAEVETANNER oh absolutely

MAEVETANNER you're my biggest fan now it's legal huh 🙄
XOLO_MARIDUENA shut up :(
MAEVETANNER love you

☆☆☆

TAIYOCURTIS

LIKED BY THEJACOBBERTRAND AND OTHERS
TAIYOCURTIS maeve's only birthday wish was to attend a pub quiz and roleplay british people so here we are 🫶

TAGGED: MAEVETANNER

VIEW ALL COMMENTS

USERONE my heart awh

USERTWO maeve tanner i know that coat and it does not belong to you

HAVENANGELICA do you KNOW how hard it is to find a pub quiz in LA
MAEVETANNER i love you very dearly for doing it :)
HAVENANGELICA all due credit goes to xolito here

USERTHREE my favourite best friends

USERFOUR collab when?

THEJACOBBERTRAND if anyone was wondering i do the best british accent
CASPIANCOOP this is absolutely false

USERFIVE the british people cosplay? nini core 😍

USERSIX are you winning?
MAEVETANNER GIRL I AM DOMINATING
TAIYOCURTIS girl that isn't what they asked...

LACYABU you can tell xolo took this photo because it's fucking blurry but you guys are the cutest 🩷
TAIYOCURTIS maybe don't go to the bathroom the next time we need a photographer then :/

USERSEVEN the cutest birthday girl ever

USEREIGHT how is she twenty one this is so scary

GIANNI_DECENZO this is actually my nightmare pub quiz team how are you guys getting anything right
XOLO_MARIDUENA well fuck you gianni

THEJACOBBERTRAND they keep asking questions about disney it's like all about me 😍😍
HAVENANGELICA you are not moana jacob
THEJACOBBERTRAND yes i am

USERNINE this friend group is honestly the best thing to come out of this year

MAEVETANNER I'VE JUST LEARNT THAT XOLO HAS NEVER SEEN TWILIGHT

MAEVETANNER OH MY GOD

MAEVETANNER OH MY GOD

MAEVETANNER MY ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP IS A LIE
MISSMARYMOUSER i was as scandalised as you are 🥲

XOLO_MARIDUENA if this pub quiz ends my relationship i swear to FUCK

☆☆☆

"xolito, i love you, never talk to me again." maeve turned her back to the boy, hunching over the paper and writing down the answer to the twilight question that she obviously knew.

xolo looked at her, mouth agape, unsure of how to approach the situation. taiyo glanced at him and laughed.

once her pen stopped moving, maeve paused for a brief moment before facing him. as the host kept reading out the questions, haven moved the paper from under her, and her and lacy kept working. taiyo and jacob simply watched, bemused.

"in that interview we did, you literally said you were team jacob, which is suppose makes sense, as it's such an astronomically wrong opinion, it could only be borne of someone who had never seen the films or read the books, but still."

xolo cocked an eyebrow.

"i thought you said you weren't talking to me?"

"no, i said you weren't ever to talk to me again. i can talk you you all i like. but you are such a fucking liar. why did you make it up?"

"felt like playing devil's advocate— if i have permission to speak."

"you don't," maeve huffed, leaning across him to give haven and lacy an answer.

xolo moved to lace his fingers with hers, and she relented, looking mildly amused, but playing it off.

"what can i do to earn your forgiveness, maverick?"

she thought for a moment, looking him in the eye before taiyo chimed in.

"i have an idea."

"shit."

"don't you want to be forgiven, xolo?" jacob added with a smirk, causing the man to sigh.

"you know the tshirt i bought maeve for her birthday?" taiyo questioned.

"the stupid one with a long quote and robert pattinson's face on?"

maeve grinned, seeing where taiyo was going with this.

"you have to wear it for a whole day."

"a day that i decide," maeve cut in, and xolo both hated and loved the look behind her eyes. "and then you'll be forgiven."

"do i have to not talk to you until that day comes about?"

"that's always your preferred state," she joked, but as the quiz paper was moved back to the centre of the table for the start of the next round, she kissed his cheek softly.

"love you, for some reason."

"love you, too. happy birthday, mav. even though i just know you're going to make me watch twilight when we get home."

"of course i am," she grinned at him. "what better way to start off twenty one? besides, you did this to yourself.

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