He just blankly looked at me. His dead eyes, have returned and he looked like he was a billion planets away from me.
I've never felt like this with him. He seemed like a stranger in front of me.
"Talk." He said back to me, emotionless.
"Not here." Aggravation flooded my voice, I grabbed his hand and pulled him into a stairwell, way more private than a hallway.
"What the fuck is your issue?" I threw his hand out of mine.
"My issue?!" He laughed, "you've got to be fucking joking."
"You blocked my fucking number?!" I couldn't help but raise my voice.
"I did it the other day. I'm going to unblock it." He tried to brush it off.
"Why did you block it?" Hurt was all over my face.
"Because I wanted too. Sometimes I think there's no point in us talking." He shook his head.
"I had a panic attack. I texted you because I couldn't fucking breathe. The whole fucking room was spinning, my chest was literally closing and all I fucking wanted was you!" My voice cracked, "you fucking promised me, this would never happen."
"I- I didn't know." His face still showed no emotion.
"I knew we should've never did anything. I knew it wasn't a line worth crossing. I lost you. Just like you promised I never would." I tried pulling my self together.
"Don't fucking pin this on me! Boyfriend after boyfriend you expect me to stick around?!" His voice was echoing.
"You had a girlfriend to Mattheo!" I matched his screaming, "you had random hook ups and literally picked another girl when I gave you the choice! I asked you to pick and you didn't pick me!"
He just stared at me, blankly. I had no idea where his head was. He felt so far. So fucking far.
"Exactly." I scoffed, "so I will pin it on you. I will blame you for everything. For dragging me through your games, for threatening me and my boyfriends, for making me fucking need you." I shook my head and went to turn away, "you fucking promised, Mattheo."
"I didn't fucking know! I didn't know you were having an attack!" His face tensed up.
"You shouldn't have too, I shouldn't have to rely on you! You made your point clear by blocking my number. So just leave it blocked." I spat, quickly turning away.
"Yn!" He screamed after me, "yn! Come here!"
I ignored him. And kept walking.
Fuck Enzo's advice. There was no talking to that kid. He wasn't himself, it was evident. It look everything in me to walk away from him, but I couldn't do it.
(Draco to Enzo and Theo)
9:45 a.m
Draco
Can anyone tell me why I just seen Yn and Mattheo in a full blown screaming match in a hidden stairwell?
At this time in the morning?
Theo
Wtf?
What were they saying.
Draco
I couldn't hear exactly, something about blocking a number?
She was screaming and almost crying
Enzo
Oh fuck
Theo
Blocking whose number?
What the fuck is going on
Draco
I have no idea
Matt was yelling too
I couldn't make it out I didn't want them to see me
Theo
We'll ask them about it later
Enzo🅱️
10:00 a.m
Enzo🅱️
Draco just texted me and Theo
Said he found you and Mattheo in a screaming war
Are you okay?
What happen?
Me
Enzo I tried
I was going to tell him I seen the text
But he wasn't the Mattheo I know
He was so off
Then started with me about having a boyfriend and
I just don't know
I couldn't do it
I don't know if I want to anymore.
Enzo🅱️
Oh yn
I'm sorry
Me
Yeah me too
I knew it wasn't a good idea.
It was fucked from the beginning.
Enzo🅱️
Don't say that
You don't know
Maybe he's going through some shit
Me
Yeah back then I would've known right away
I don't even know him anymore
I'm in love with a ghost.
Enzo🅱️
Are you coming to Theos birthday party tonight?
Me
Shit
I forgot
Idk everyone's mad at me
Or not talking to me
Enzo🅱️
Fuck that
You have to come
We're always with each other at midnight
I'll go with you
And I'll stay with you the whole time.
Me
You don't have too
Enzo🅱️
I want to.
Me
Fine.
Come to my room before.
Enzo🅱️
I'll be there.
I skipped class the rest of the day. I couldn't deal with everyone. I was in no mood to look at his face, or anyone else's.
I sat in my dorm and cried. I couldn't help it. I needed to know what the fuck was going on with him.
Dray🐇
1:35 p.m
Dray🐇
Where are you?
Me
My dorm.
Why?
Dray🐇
You're sick?
Me
No?
Dray🐇
So now we just skip? With NEWTS coming?
Me
Draco I'm really not in the mood to argue.
Dray🐇
Neither am I
I'm worried about you.
Me
I'm fine.
Just shit I gotta work through.
Dray🐇
I'm here for you, you know that right?
And Theo doesn't know why you're ignoring him.
Me
You screamed at me in my dorm the other day, and Theo does know.
Dray🐇
We fight all the time
I didn't mean it idiot.
Me
Well it seemed like you did.
Dray🐇
Theo and I are coming to your dorm to sort out your issue, we'll be there after this lesson.
Me
Draco.
Dray🐇
No.
Not dealing with your shit.
They came in as calm as they could, but I seen the worry in their eyes.
"What the fuck yn?" Draco said, throwing his bag on my floor and sitting on the edge of my bed.
"It's nothing Draco." I sat up.
"You've been isolating all of us. It has to be something." He sighed.
"Is it Anthony?" Theo sat on the other side.
"Just pretend you never heard him say it, or confront him and say you weren't sleeping. Or breakup with him. Don't beat your self up over it." Draco sighed.
"Sleeping?" Theo raised an eye brow.
"Yeah, Anthony told her he's in love with her while she was sleeping, now she doesn't know what to do." He let out a dry laugh.
"No he didn't." Theo shook his head, then darted his eyes at me.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
"How do you know?" Draco snapped his neck towards Theo.
"Because she told me he texted her that." They both looked at me in unison.
I bit my lips and stared down at my sheets, I wished I cold throw them over my head and disappear.
"Yn." Draco nearly spat, "truth please."
"He did both. I've been ignoring it all. He invited me to his summer house." I tried to change the subject.
"Both? Summer house?" Theo raised his eyebrows.
"Yeah, he wants an answer soon. I probably should just go, I have no where else to go." I shrugged my shoulders.
"I thought you were going to riddles?" Draco looked at me with confusion, "or did the argument in the stair case end that?"
What the fuck was happening.
"What are you talking about?" I stiffened.
"I seen you, screaming at each other. Why?" Draco was very intimidating when he wanted to be.
"He blocked my number. So I don't think I'm spending any time ever with him." I spat, far more hasty than I wanted too.
"Oh." Theo tipped his head back.
"Boys. I'm fine. Thank you. It's just girl stuff I have to get through on my own. I promise. Thank you for coming here and for caring, but I'll be fine." I weakly smiled.
"I'll believe it when I see it." Theo scoffed.
"We'll be here to pick you up for the party tonight, be ready. No arguments." Draco did picking his bag up and turning around, "nothing a little alcohol can't fix."
"Oh Merlin." I threw my head back.
I don't know how I got out of that lie, and it seems like I keep just skimping the surface of making it out.
I was tired. So fucking tired. Regretting every choice that lead me here.
Regretting Mattheo.
The boys showed up exactly on time to pick me up for the party. In all truth, I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
But of course, the first thing I saw when I turned into our a music filled common room was him.
Mattheo, with Astoria draped across his lap.