"So you're telling me, this whole manor is free range?" I laughed.
"I mean, yeah." He laughed back at me, throwing his arms up like he was king of the castle, "my dad is Merlin knows where, doing Merlin knows what, to who. He barely remembers I exist." He huffed, throwing himself back on his bed.
"Don't say that." I put my bag down, "thank you. For inviting me, really." I smiled, looking at the collection of books on his wall.
"Seriously? I'd rather you be here than a girls home." He huffed, moving himself to the edge of his bed, "a girls home for witches nonetheless, must be a mad house. Anyway, we've been friends for ages, I couldn't let you spend another summer there. It isn't right. We all live our life's and you're just, trapped."
"Well, like I said, thanks Matt." I smiled.
"Of course, make your self at home, pretty girl."
I jumped up and checked the clock. 6:09 a.m. I was sweating, gasping for air and annoyed. That was nearly 10 months ago. Why the fuck was I dreaming of it now?
Fuck.
I started at my ceiling trying to get some sleep. I didn't have to be up for another two hours, but I certainly didn't want to return to that dream.
He haunted me in every way. Even when he wasn't in front of me, his thoughts and actions stained my memory.
I wish I never ever seen that text.
I felt my phone vibrate and looked at it, and my stomach turned at the emoji I saw.
Mattheo.🚫
6:12 a.m
Mattheo.🚫
You don't get to be mad at me.
Go fuck Anthony.
Go fuck Theo.
Go do whatever it is you want to do.
I'm fucking done.
Me
6 am?
Finally sent her home?
You arrogant prick, I was trying to apologize and make it right.
But I have no idea what I even was apologizing for.
You're nothing to me, as made very clear.
Yet I still cared about your feelings.
Pathetic.
Mattheo.🚫
Yeah, you are pathetic.
This whole fucking thing was pathetic.
Me
Go fuck your self, Mattheo.
Mattheo.🚫
Nah
I got someone for that.
I threw my phone clear across the room, and threw my hands over my face in frustration. I kicked and screamed into a pillow. Being 17 should not be this fucking hard. Nothing should be this fucking hard.
I cried myself back to sleep, where my dreams haunted me more.
"I think this has been one of the best summers of my life." I laughed, laying on the cold ground, of the Riddle Manor gardens.
"I agree." He brought his gaze from the stars over to me.
"Seriously I can't thank you enough." I looked at him.
"Would you stop thanking me. It's annoying." He rolled his eyes, "you always have a home here. You don't deserve to be alone."
A small tear formed in my eye, I wasn't used to being wanted.
"Oh cut the shit, I'm being serious." He let out a dry laugh, "have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"
"Matt, stop." I couldn't help my cheeks from blushing, "I told you this flirting is pointless."
"And I've heard you, and I strongly disagree." He inched closer.
"Matt." I rolled my eyes.
"Would you stop over thinking it." He scoffed.
The rain, it came out of no where. He grabbed my hands and we started running. We were laughing. God, how our laughter filled the cold summer air.
He stopped me, in the middle of the grounds, in the middle of the rain.
"Are you done thinking?" He was out of breath.
"Matt! It's pouring!" I laughed.
"Are you done?!" His face grew serious.
"Mattheo..."
"I want you, yn." He moved my wet hair out of my face, "I promise our friendship will always come first, but I can't fucking fight this anymore. I want you."
I melted. I mean nearly fucking melted, I was flushed. Something in his eyes, in the way he held me, told me to let go. To give in, to the feelings I've been fighting for so long.
"I'm done thinking." I whispered.
He smashed his lips onto mine.
I woke up like it was a fucking nightmare, because at this point, I think it was. My minds sick and twisted way of tormenting me.
I checked the clock, 9:31 a.m.
FUCK!
I was due in my first lesson, thirty one minutes ago. I looked over at pansy's bed, perfectly made and she was gone.
Pansss
9:35 a.m
Me
Why the fuck didn't you wake me ?!
Panssss
Sorry
Slipped my mind
Maybe how Theo slipped on top of you?
Me
What the fuck?
He tackled me for my phone !!!!
Panssss
Mattheo described it as much more than that.
Of course he did. I slipped up a few weeks ago and let him know Pansy and Theo had been messing around. He knew what he would do to Pansy if he told her that. Fucking asshole.
Me
Really? Going to take Mattheos words over mine?
Ask Theo!
Panssss
No need
I'm over it
And over you right now
Me
Over me? What the fuck did I do?!
Pansss
It's just sad. The way you're playing everyone, acting like an innocent little girl, when you're far from it.
Me
You're being a fucking bitch right now.
Pansss
Ditto.
I angrily got ready, decided to skip the rest of this lesson and start fresh at my ten a.m.
my blood was boiling. This day could not start off any fucking worse.
🐍
9:45 a.m
Dray🐇
Yn
Where the fuck are you?
Enzo🅱️
Can't be scaring us like this
Me
I'm alive
And not kidnapped
Just woke up late
I'll see you guys in potions.
Dray🐇
Late? Very unlike you.
Pansss
A lot of things are unlike yn now a days
Theo🤌🏼
Yikes.
I ignored Mattheo, Pansy and Theo for the most part of the rest of the day. Mattheo and Pansy weren't hard to ignore, since the feeling was mutual. Theo was a bit harder. Minus the comment he made of me looking like total shit, to where I threw a sly remark back at him. But he wasn't wrong, and I looked just as bad as I felt. Which was horrible. My head wouldn't give me a moment of peace. I don't know how I got into this mess, but I had to get out of it. And fast.
"No feelings. No attachments, and above all we remain friends." I whispered, wrapped up in his sheets.
"If those are your terms, so be it." He let out a dry laugh.
"Matt I'm being serious. I don't want to loose you." I slapped his bare chest.
"You won't." He flashed a sincere smile, "I don't want to loose you either."
"So it's settled. A summer fling." I nodded, "what happens here, stays here."
"Well, then I hope you come here a lot more fucking often." He let out a laugh, climbing on top of me.
"Matt!" I laughed.
My laughter echoed through my head. It was the only thing I heard.
"Babe? You alright?" Anthony's words broke me out of my day dream.
"Yes. Sorry, I just have so much studying to do." I shook my head, taking a deep breath in of the cool air. We were in the courtyard, spring was now approaching, such a beautiful time at hogwarts.
"I can help, you know? I'm not a ravenclaw for no reason." He joked.
I fake laughed.
"I know, and you're the best, but I think I'm going to head back to my room. Take a nice hot shower, and finish this assignment. We can meet up after dinner?" I stood up, flashing him a smile.
"You know where to find me, gorgeous." He returned the smile.
I practically ran to my room. My chest was closing in on me and I just wanted to crawl into my bed and disappear. I wanted my thoughts to stop haunting me, I wanting my feelings to implode. I needed this to end.
My room was insight, my vision started to blur from the tears I was fighting back. My chest, fighting with itself.
I hit a brick wall.
"Fuck Yn!" I heard a voice say, "yn?! Are you alright?"
"No." My voice cracked.