❝𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦
𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘢 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘯𝘰𝘸
𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘦, 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘨𝘰
𝘴𝘰 𝘪 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭
𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘯
𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘯
𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘯
𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘮❞
- 𝘷𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘦, 𝘣𝘪𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘧 *𝘨𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘺 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯*
COULD THESE DAYS GO ANY SLOWER?
you had been boredly and fearfully lurking around the forest for around six days now, covered in dirt and some small scratches which were embarrassingly not even from demons and instead the sharp ass bushes that were everywhere.
the other night you accidentally slept in a poison ivy bush and didn't notice until you woke up all red and itchy so then you ran to the ice cold river and jumped in but you almost drowned because the stream was very heavy and you were just laying on your back floating down the big ass river. bitch ass vegemite sat on your stomach as you floated downstream, enjoying the boat ride. you also passed multiple other people on this trip, all of them having looked at you weird.
you also passed a few dead bodies.. yikes.
and then finally once you noticed you were about a million kilometers from where you had jumped in the water, and, coincidentally left your katana you nearly drowned trying to get out of the water cause it kept pulling you back in. the whole time vegemite sat on the shore staring at you condescendingly as you gargled, trying to get up. and then you also almost fell down a waterfall before you thankfully pulled yourself out, shivering like crazy.
and that was when you encountered a fat ass, hungry ass demon. he chased you for a good while with you hopefully running in the way of your katana, but then as he got close you stopped him and negotiated with him.
you both made a deal that if he left you alone for now to find your katana, you would, right now, give him a little plastic baggie of your marechi blood, which, to this starved demon, was like a four-course meal. so, of course, he agreed. but if he was to see you again he would devour you. you also took a quick selfie with him before skedaddling away.
so that was how you ended up making your way back to your katana, feeling icky with wet clothes and wet socks.
after you picked up your katana, airpods and phone (which you had buried in your haori and everyone who passed it thought it was a dead persons' so they left it) you made your way to where you were now (having also almost lost an airpod half way when a demon bitch slapped you. but anyway you slayed that bitch and made it to your current destination), your current destination being you camping by the wisteria trees, cackling at the demons who lurked nearby, glaring at you just out of their reach. vegemite sat by your side, dancing around and mocking the demons.
you just leant against a tree with an airpod in one ear, scrolling on your phone. watching tiktoks, reading any of the updates released for wattpad stories you were reading and scrolling through instagram.
and eventually, the sun set and rose and it was the seventh day.
that was when you contemplated.
hmm.. do i want to be the first one back to the final selection to show them how amazing i am? wait.. no, maybe not, then they might think i stuck close by to the flowers and i'm a pussy! but i'd look cool.. hmmmmmmmmmm.... y'know what? i'm going in first! fuck them other bitches i'm cool y'all are not
so after waiting another hour or so, you finally emerged through the opening in the trees to the area where you had begun. you look around quickly. there was nobody here.
you hoped it wasn't another inosuke situation, but you hadn't seen anyone enter, so you were pretty sure you were good.
kiriya and the other girl were still there, waiting, smiling.
you all waited for a while, nobody else showing up.
you frowned slightly,
did everyone else die?? that'd be a crazy main character moment..
eventually, the girl and boy spoke.
"welcome back." they both say in sync.
you gape,
no fuckin' way.. well, i guess it makes sense.. but like??? anyway, this definitely means i'm the only one who survived.. holy dooly
indeed, you were the lone survivor out of at least twenty people. and it was only due to your dumbass making deals with demons and tricking them.
"congratulations. we're glad to see that you're safe"
you purse your lips, this felt slightly more awkward since you were quite literally the only person there. and you already knew around what was going to be said.
"first, we shall issue you a uniform. we will take your measurements, after which your rank will be engraved."
"there are ten ranks in all" they speak one after the other.
"kinoe."
"kinoto."
"hinoe."
"hinoto."
"tsuchinoe."
"tsuchinoto."
"kanoe."
"kanoto."
"mizunoe."
"mizunoto."
oe and oto.. yeah i ain't remembering allat
"currently, you are at the lowest rank, mizunoto."
"today, we will let you choose the ore for your sword, but the sword will take ten to fifteen days to complete."
"but first..." the twin claps her hand twice.
omgomg what am i gonna get.. am i gonna get a cool crow? or am i gonna be unique and get a different animal??
the grin on your face dropped instantly as you stared dully at your said animal.
it stared dumbly back up at you.
it was, well, it was a dog.
a cavoodle, maybe? it was a chocolate brown and had big puppy eyes.
and it definitely WOULD have been cute..
if..
it..
didn't..
have..
A BALD ASS HEAD?!?!?!?
you gape at the brown fluffy dog, with its fur shaved to its middle droopy hear, looking like a balding, geriatric old man as it woofed up at you.
now what the fuck is my luck.. why does everyone else in this show get crows and i get this baldi's basics ass dog...
you side-eye the two children on the stage who were trying not to giggle.
"you have been granted this dog who will deliver your messages back and forth as well as give you mission details"
you smile blankly,
act grateful.. act grateful..
"now then, please select an ore. the steel for the sword that will annihilate demons and protect you will be of your own choosing."
you waddle your way up to the table with this stupid ass dog latching his teeth onto the bottom of your pants, shaking his head back and forth.
you twitch.
you huff out, picking a pretty, shiny ore and handing it to the twins, squinting at them angrily for giving you this menace of a dog. they just smile.
little shits..
you grumble as you drag your foot down the stairs, the stupid ass dog growling at you as you do so, it's teeth still sunk in your pants.
"i'm abandoning you the second i get the chance" you tell it.
it lets go and barks at you.
you take that as your chance to run, sprinting down the dirt path to hopefully escape the dog.
you look to the sky as you run,
hm.. the outside world.. i survived. hey.. wait a minute.. I SURVIVED?!
you skid to a stop, the dog who was chasing after you tumbling on the ground like an idiot after having tried to stop.
"I SURVIVED!" you shouted, hands smacking against your head.
"holy fuck i did it. i'm alive. i'm a demon slayer. hoooly fuck. haha! omg this is crazy.."
the dog sits on your right, looking unimpressed.
you glare at it, "you hear that you shithead? i survived seven days with those ugly ass demons, not you! not your little weak ass"
it growled.
your eye twitched, pulling vegemite from your pocket, "vegemite, you have some competition"
he glared at the dog, who glared back.
you squinted your eyes, slowly lowering vegemite back into your pocket, the fluffball using his paw to point at the dog, and then his own eyes. 'always watching' he squinted.
you hum to yourself, "hm.. what to do now? uhhh... what way is sanemi's estate again??"
you huff, "welp.. side-quest time it is, then!"
so off you set to do... who knows what.
date posted ; 24/01/24