𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄, xolo...

By -achillesheeI

15.9K 714 412

extended summary inside! in which maeve tanner and xolo maridueña are proof that hate and love are not so di... More

o. the last one
one. am i bovvered
two. if i was that pretty i'd be kind of mean too
three. that's not very feminist of you
four. caffeine and spite
five. a digital footprint rivalled by only that of medusa
six. if you ruin my kissing career
seven. i can take constructive criticism
eight. this is courtney henggeler's show
nine. i can't believe you masterminded me
ten. you could sell your arm for a good few thousand now
eleven. now's the time to add her on pokémon go
twelve. strong platonic feelings
thirteen. let me know when to expect to be shanked for being team jacob
fourteen. short and emotionally inarticulate
fifteen. the permanent evidence of your own stupidity
sixteen. invisible strings my dear
seventeen. i am an absolute fucking fool
eighteen. at least you're self aware
nineteen. he's heartbroken over the betrayal of jake gyllenhaal
twenty. i think ones stabbing me in the ass right now
twenty one. get in the bed and see what happens
twenty two. i wanted my career just to be nepo brother
twenty three. will i get to witness ralph macchio playing beerio kart
twenty five. maybe distance would make the heart fonder
twenty six. don't back to december me
twenty seven. what do i know of oregon
twenty eight. latino boys anonymous
twenty nine. if this pub quiz ends my relationship
thirty. you are the hottest evil genius ever

twenty four. this is a hoes before bros world

367 20 10
By -achillesheeI


XOLO_MARIDUENA

LIKED BY LACYABU AND OTHERS
XOLO_MARIDUENA if you want to see so much more maeve x coffee content you should check out our film "just from" that hits theatres november 18th

TAGGED: MAEVETANNER

VIEW ALL COMMENTS

USERONE omg they finally dropped a release date

LACYABU EEE I CAN'T WAIT
XOLO_MARIDUENA 💛💛

USERTWO this is the most flattering photo ever

USERTHREE idk about maeve x coffee i want maeve x xolo

HAVENANGELICA girl how do you still look good here
CASPIANCOOP i've been telling you coffee is THE hangover cure

CASPIANCOOP not that we were drinking we are children of god and also the law
HAVENANGELICA caspian you're twenty four
CASPIANCOOP lord knows there is no age limit on sin

USERFOUR i cannot waittttt

USERFIVE SMALL TALK HE DRIVES COFFEE AT MIDNIGHT

TAIYOCURTIS i'm expecting to be someone's red carpet date fyi
THEJACOBBERTRAND yeah me too actually
XOLO_MARIDUENA taiyo i choose you
MAEVETANNER i am NOT taking jacob

USERSIX i wanna know if all of these photos were taken during filming or if they're still hanging out

USERSEVEN angelico endgame 🙏🏻
XOLO_MARIDUENA sorry dude that will not be happening

ADRIANNADEL so proud of my stars ⭐️
XOLO_MARIDUENA :)

USEREIGHT saved to my maevexolo folder

MAEVETANNER why would you risk posting this photo of me.
XOLO_MARIDUENA i figured you needed humbling after the phone call you received yesterday
HAVENANGELICA excuse me what phone call
TAIYOCURTIS GOING INSANE I'M SO EXCITED FOR US
LACYABU imma need u guys to spill like immediately

☆☆☆

STRAWBERRY WINE ENTHUSIASTS🥂
seven participants

COOPER #2
excuse me miss maeve tanner
mr taiyo curtis
spill the beans

JTSB
what beans
i like beans

THE INTERNET
yeaaa like jacob said
what beans

SHOELACE
what was the phone call what
was the phone call what was
the phone call

PONYBOY CURTIS
maeve i can't keep secrets i'm
gonna scream

THE INTERNET
xolo can't keep secrets either that's
why he's staying silent

THE INTERNET'S BOYFRIEND
:)

COOPER #1
HAHA everyone get fucked i
already know the secret

COOPER #2
WHAT
WHY
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE

COOPER #1
taiyo told me :)

COOPER #2
AND XOLO KNOWS BEFORE
ME TOO??
this is a hoes before bros world

THE INTERNET
does it make you feel better if i
say your the first person i'm
asking for a favour whilst i'm gone?

COOPER #2
i am being used
but yes
go ahead

THE INTERNET
so me and taiyo are going to be
out of town for a couple of days
for a vogue shoot
so do you feel like taking care of
xolo for me whilst we're gone
i fear he's entirely dependent on
me for common sense

SHOELACE
i'm sorry VOGUE???

COOPER #2
sure whatever i've been taking
care of him for years but WHAT
VOGUE
YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO BE
IN VOGUE

JSTB
fuck xolo take me with you

COOPER #1
vogue is so insanely cool though
congratulations guys !!!

THE INTERNET'S BOYFRIEND
i do not need taking care of fuck
you guys

JSTB
hey xolo do you wanna come over
and record new lone lobos tomorrow

THE INTERNET'S BOYFRIEND
yeah okay

COOPER #2
there you go childcare sorted

SHOELACE
so when do you go ?

THE INTERNET
literally tomorrow it's all super short
notice
we're in new york for three days and
then we're back home

SHOELACE
i've never been to new york
send me a postcard !!

PONYBOY CURTIS
we will! my entire family are making
me send them post cards as well

THE INTERNET'S BOYFRIEND
it is so insanely cool i'm so proud of
you guys

THE INTERNET
don't get sappy on me xolito

THE INTERNET'S BOYFRIEND
i think it's my job as your number one
fan
someone's got to support you even if
you crash and burn

COOPER #1
inspiring

PONYBOY CURTIS
anyway
we have to pack so
bye bye

THE INTERNET
yes
packing
will be commencing shortly

JSTB
not until you kick xolo out it
won't

PONYBOY CURTIS
maeve tanner our plane is in
eighteen hours kick that boy
out of your house right now

☆☆☆

TAI🐸

TAI🐸
what is the weather like in
new york this time of year
i have absolutely no idea at all

MAV🪩
you know who probably knows
google
but xolo says it'll be sticky hot

TAI🐸
thank you xolo
above and beyond the answer i
required
now go the fuck home

MAV🪩
he's helping me pack

TAI🐸
by "helping me pack" do you mean
"sucking face"

MAV🪩
never speak again

TAI🐸
that can be arranged
but after we've done the photoshoot
for vogue
oh my god vogue i am so excited

MAV🪩
we're gonna be big stars it's pretty
fucking crazy
xolo just gave me that look
like
yes
i know we're technically already
probably big stars
but this is VOGUE

TAI🐸
what would he understand

MAV🪩
also
quickly whilst xolo's in the bathroom
what's going on with you and caspian
huh

TAI🐸
caspian
who is caspian
i don't know a caspian

MAV🪩
very subtle dude

TAI🐸
thank you i've been working on
it

MAV🪩
sooooo
caspian?

TAI🐸
i don't know
he's like
super pretty
and also really funny and down
to earth and real and i love being
around him and we might be
flirting a little

MAV🪩
HELL YEAH
a win for team hypothetical
superache boy

TAI🐸
i can't believe you publicly
announced that whole album was
about him
it was only like
one song

MAV🪩
well here's to hoping it comes true
actually maybe not
your songs are depressing

TAI🐸
have to start somewhere right

MAV🪩
does haven know about this?

TAI🐸
i have a feeling she does
i haven't said anything but i
think cass has
she always looks at me with
that knowing look in her eyes
the same one she gave you
whenever you were around xolo

MAV🪩
i actually don't know what you're
talking about

TAI🐸
liar

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