I have always loved Christmas time. The coziness to be with the people you love was for me the highlight of those days. The gifts were nice too but being together with granny and grandpa all day was even better. In the weeks before we decorated the tree, watched sappy movies and looked through granny her cooking books for something new to bake or cook on Christmas Eve. The day itself we spent most of the day in the kitchen, granny and I cooked, and grandpa supplied the music. We played boardgames, pulled out the family pictures and they told me about my parents.
It was like those days were the only days that they could— or maybe wanted to talk about her, them. I have always looked forward to those moments.
Celebrating Christmas 2028 was a bit different, I came to the nursing home and baked cookies with the residents. Granny stayed in her seat and played with the dough I handed her, or I caught her putting a piece of dough in her mouth. She was quiet all day, never reacting when someone talked to her. She lost weight too. In the afternoon, we sat around the Christmas tree and some of the residents sang songs. Mostly older songs that I didn't knew that well. The cookies we baked were passed out and they got hot chocolate.
After dinner I brough granny to her room and helped her in bed. I didn't buy her a gift because I didn't knew what to buy and she would probably not even notice if I gave her something or not. I placed a new photo of us and grandpa on her bedside table, maybe one day she will look at it and will remember us. Although I'm aware that I'm hoping too much.
I had pulled one of the photo albums out of her cabinet and went through them, told the stories that went with the pictures, like they did for me for so many years. When I closed the album, it was already dark outside. Granny fell asleep not long after I started going through the first album. I placed the albums away and gave her a kiss on the cheek, she looked so peaceful. I gave her a kiss on her forehead and left the room. Hoping that, maybe, she is dreaming about us.
When I came home, or the home off Liam and Poppy, I was alone. They were still with Poppy's family for Christmas. They invited me as well, but I wanted to stay with granny. I made myself ready for bed and entered the guestroom that turned into my room ever since granny moved in the nursing home. I went through some old pictures on my phone and in a nostalgic mood I selected some old pictures and posted them on my Insta and went to sleep.
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"Aren't you going out with your friends?" I ask standing in the doorway of our guest room.
"No, I'm going to stay with granny," she answers without looking up from the book she is pretending to be reading. I know she isn't reading.
"Piper," I sigh deeply and this time she does looks at me. "I know you want to spend as much time as possible with Granny Alice but don't forget to live. She would be upset that you don't spend New Year's with your friends."
Her eyes become glossy, and she looks away, "I know, but I can't Poppy."
I step further into her room and sit down on the bed and tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. "Piper, we are worried about you. Since you came home you have been with you granny all the time. You look so sad and it's breaking my heart. Talk to me."
She sniffs and looks up at me "I lost her Poppy, she is the last one of my family and she is gone too. She' still here but she isn't really here. I hate it that she doesn't know me anymore. It hurts so much." I take her in my arms and pull her closer. "I know honey," I mumble in her hair. I love Piper like she is one of my own, like Bianca and I promised to each other once. We had seen a movie where a child loses his mother and her best friends steps in to help the father. We were only 14 years old at the time, but we promised each other that we would take care of each other's children if something would ever happen with us. Little did we know. It seemed so silly at the time. Till I got the call. I still remember what I was doing when Henk called me almost 16 years ago. I was standing in the bathroom, holding a positive pregnancy test in my hand. I went from happiness to sadness in 2 seconds, when Henk told me what happened.
I try to keep my promise to Bianca. Piper stayed as long as she could with her family. I love Piper. Our whole family does. But I do understand that she feels like she has no family left. Maybe I need to look for Jack's mother, if she is still alive.
"I'll come with you," I tell her.
"No Poppy, you and Liam have plans too."
I snort and whip her tears away, "make dinner, crash on the couch and fall asleep before midnight?"
"Yeah those," she smiles.
"I have said it before and I'm going to repeat it again. You are our family too Piper."
I let Liam know of the change of our plans and he rushed to the grocery shop and bought us some snacks to take with us to the nursing home. In the meantime, I had convinced Piper to enjoy an early family dinner with us first. While the kids left to meet up with their group of friends Liam drove us to the nursing home. The head nurse let us in and closed the door behind us again. "We already brought her to her room. Let me know when you want to leave."
"We will, thanks for letting us in," I tell her while Piper walks towards granny Alice her room.
She hums and something passes in her eyes "not many people get as many visitors as Alice. I hope that my grandchildren come to visit me as much as she does."
"She's all she has left," I say, and Liam squeezes my hand.
Her face twisted in concern "Alice is leaving us. I don't want to sound harsh, but I think it's time to accept that she won't be that long with us anymore."
"We are aware, and Piper is aware of it too. That's why she is here instead of celebrating New Years Eve with her friends."
"She's a sweet girl. When it's time to say goodbye, I'll call you. How fast can she be here? I know she is in college."
"We've already looked at it and the fastest she can be here is in 5 hours, but that all depends on when she can catch a flight."
"Okay, I will keep that in mind. I'll put it in her file."
"Thank you."
"Enjoy your evening."
"We will, if you want a snack," Liam holds his grocery sack up "I have plenty."
She gives a nod and smiles before she walks away.
Liam and I enter granny Alice her room and find Piper and Alice watching television.
"Who wants a glass of champagne?" Liam asks, ignoring that Piper isn't 21 yet. I think for tonight we can make an exception. And besides I'm not dumb, I know that Emma is drinking now, and she is even younger. Same goes for Nick. I'm not that worried about Rose and Katie, they are more for following the rules. No idea from where they have that.
"Yes please," Piper smiles at us. "What else did you bring with?"
"The good stuff. Gummy sour bears for you. Some Twizzlers for my beautiful wife and the best chips in the whole world—"
"Don't tell me that you bought Cheetos?" I groan, "they stink."
"But they are so good," he almost moans it. "And they don't stink, food doesn't stink."
"They do stink Liam," Piper chimes in.
Liam huffs "fine, they do but they are still the best chips in the world."
"I brought some games that we can play till we need to count down." I say and place my sack on the little table in Alice her room.
For the rest of the evening the television played softly in the background while we ate and played some games. Alice sat next to Piper and watched us with a little smile on her face. I wonder what she is thinking. How confusing it must be to see people with her that she doesn't even remember. Maybe she doesn't even know where she is. In the first year she often confused the nursing home with being in a hotel room. She complained about the bad housekeeping and that the food wasn't that good. Those times we laughed back home, because in a way it was funny. But when she yelled at us for not knowing who entered her room or mistook Piper for Bianca or her older sister Grace, laughing with it became bittersweet.
When Alice starts to fall asleep, we help her in bed. A minute before nine o'clock we turn off all the lights in the room and watch the ball drop in New York.
"10– 9– 8– 7– 6—"
"Happy New Year Granny Alice," Piper whispers to a half sleeping Alice. "I love you."
"Come, let her have a moment alone with her," Liam whispers and pulls me outside.
In the hallway I lean against the wall and Liam wraps his arms around me "what are you thinking about?"
"Jack's mother."
"What about here?"
"Maybe she is still alive, has a whole family. A family that's part of Piper."
"What do we know about her?" Liam asks.
"What Bianca told me. I know she was 16 when she got Jack. Left him with his father and disappeared."
"She would be what, around 60 years now?" Liam guesses.
I hum, "something like that. Her name was Jacqueline. Or that's what Jack's father told him when he was young. He gave him the name Jack to remember his mother, Jacqueline."
"Did Jack spoke about his family much?" he asks.
"Not really, like I said what I know is what Bianca told me. His father, Lucas grew up in foster care and went to college with a scholarship. He was 19 years old when he met Jacqueline for the first time. Lucas played in a little band called the Singing Dolls, they played in bars in the weekend, it was his way to make some money. One night Jacqueline entered the bar where he was playing. He told Jack that it was love at first sight for him. But he stayed away because she was so young. Jacqueline was very stubborn, and she got what she wanted. Lucas told Jack later that he wasn't sure that the love came from both sides. He often thought that she used him to rebellion against her parents. She found out that she was pregnant when she was 16, Lucas just turned 20. He promised her that he would take care of them. He did but she disappeared after she gave birth. In our second year in college, Lucas died of cancer. The only thing Jack told me was that his father did everything for him. And that he wanted to be the father for his children in the same way as Lucas had been for him."
"Jack was a great father, at least the few times I saw him with Piper."
"Maybe Jacqueline would want to get to know her grandchild."
"I'm not sure if that is a good idea, Poppy. What is she declines?"
"I know. It could be another person she is going to lose. But what if she's not? Maybe Jacqueline does want to see her. We don't know why she disappeared. She was 16 years, maybe she panicked."
"How are you going to find her?"
"When Bianca and Jack died, I cleaned out their house with Henk and Alice. I found a box with Jack's name on. It was filled with pictures, letters, little things he kept over the years. I never went through it, it felt too personal at the time. Maybe I can find something in there."
"Why did you never gave it to Piper? It's a box with things of her father. She is old enough to—" Liam shakes his head.
"Honestly? I completely forgot about it. You know how difficult my last pregnancy went and I placed it on our attic, and it slipped my mind."
He hums, clearly not understanding how I could forget about something important like that. After they died, I just kept going, Emma followed fast after Nick. And then Katie and Rose followed 2 and 4 years after Emma. Life was buzzy and I forgot about it till I saw Piper tonight talking quietly to her granny.
"Fine, we look tomorrow for that box and go through it. If we find something, we contact her first and see if she is interested to get to know Piper."
"Okay," I peck his lips.
"She's asleep," Piper mumbles, coming out the room.
We say goodbye to the nurses and go home. Piper goes straight upstairs, and we let her. We settled on the couch with our snacks and a bottle of champagne while watching a movie.
5 minutes before midnight Nick enters the house "Nick? What are you doing here?" I ask.
He ignores my question "is Piper upstairs?"
"Yeah, she went straight up when we came home."
"Is she asleep?"
"I don't think so, I still heard music 20 minutes ago," Liam says.
"Okay", he walks out the living room and I heard more noises.
"Happy New Year Mr. and Mrs. Clark," Adalind greets us.
"It's Poppy and Liam, Adalind. Happy New Year. What is all this?" I ask.
"Well, we thought that it would be a good idea to come her and wish Piper a Happy New Year." Emma says entering the house followed by two other boys. "Guys, we need to go. One minute left!" Emma mutters and pushes them further in our hallway.
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