"No, I told you I'm fine. I'm not sure how you even found out," Nessa said into her phone. She could feel Knox's eyes on her and she turned her back to him as she paced the hotel room's floor. "Mom, just tell Dad that it's not a big deal. It was just a scratch. No, I don't want to talk to him, I--"
She sighed before continuing, "Hello, Sir. I know you're worried but I'm fine."
"Nessa," Edward Cruz's voice boomed into the phone. "You've played enough. It's time to give up your wild life and come home. Your mother and I are tired of seeing you get into one mess after another."
"Wild life? I wouldn't call it that. Besides, I've told you before, I can take care of myself."
"Someone broke into that box you call an apartment. It's not safe."
"I left my apartment. Don't worry. I'm fine."
She could hear her father grunting in displeasure. "I heard you got hurt."
Nessa's hand automatically felt her forehead and she remembered Knox placing a bandage on her wound. "I'm fine."
"Where are you if you're not at your apartment? Are you with Candi?"
"No." Nessa frowned. He knew she wasn't with Candi. "I'm with another friend. I'm at his office."
"His office?"
"Yes, he works at a place where they have spare rooms for employees and I'm staying there. It's quite safe."
She heard Knox scoffing from behind her.
"Did you call Tate?" Edward asked.
"Tate?" Nessa a note of skepticism laced in her voice. "Why would I call Tate? We broke up over two years ago, remember?"
"He still cares about you."
"I highly doubt that."
"Why don't you give him a chance? You two were so perfect together. You wanted to get married and have children, remember? Your mother and I would love a grandchild."
"That was before he dumped me," Nessa reminded him. "After everything I went through, why are you so determined to set me back up with Tate? What's going on? Do you know something I don't."
His silence was telling and Nessa continued, "If Tate wants to make amends, he better have a damned good explanation."
"Watch your language, young lady."
"Sorry," Nessa mumbled, ignoring Knox's chuckle behind her. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. I'll call you later."
Nessa didn't give him a chance to continue and disconnected the call.
"Your father sure does worry about you. Strange for a man who you said doesn't accept you because of your ghost friends," Knox said softly. He was sprawled out on the sofa, a grin on his face.
Her mother's phone call had interrupted their kiss and now she was grateful for it. What was he trying to pull? Her head pounded and she closed her eyes for a moment.
"Shall we continue where we left off?" Knox asked.
Nessa crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing. "No thanks. I'm not into playing substitute."
"Substitute?"
"I'm not Jessica," Nessa said.
She watched Knox's face darken as he scowled. "What the hell does she have to do with anything?"
"You loved her."
"She left me."
"Maybe she didn't have a choice."
"Everyone has choices." Knox stood up and walked over to Nessa. "I'm giving you a choice. You and I-- we're both single. Sex can be a great way to unwind."
"I can't believe you're saying this to me. You don't even like me!"
"So?"
"You're not even going to deny it?" Nessa shook her head in disgust. "You think if you asked, I'd come willingly to you?"
"If your parents hadn't called, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation. We'd be too busy--"
"Enough!" Nessa picked up her bag. "You're wrong. I wouldn't have slept with you. I'm not into three-ways."
"Three-ways? What the hell are you talking about. Don't you ever make any sense?" Knox said, annoyed.
"Don't play dumb. If I slept with you, Jessica Spencer would be in bed with us."
"Jessica?" he asked, dumbfounded.
"I hate to disappoint you but I don't just sleep with random guys because they're rich and handsome. The only man I've ever been with is Tate and that's because I loved him and he loved...well, I thought he loved me."
"Forget it. You're making this too complicated. I'm not even interested anymore," Knox muttered, slashing a hand through the air.
Nessa nodded. "I guess it really is different for men. I couldn't sleep with someone I didn't like. I want to share that part of myself with someone special. Someone who would love me no matter what."
"You say you want that but when you have it, you won't want it anymore," Knox said. He made his way to the mini bar.
"You don't know what I want."
"You said you wanted a lover who loved you no matter what. Let's be honest. A man who forgives everything would soon become weak in your eyes. You'd leave him."
"Just like Jessica left you?"
Knox's hands circled the bottle of whiskey.
"She didn't have a choice," Nessa whispered.
"Are you going to tell me she's dead again?" Knox asked.
"Wouldn't it make more sense if she was? Why else wouldn't she marry you? You're rich, handsome. I can't really think of anything else but I'm sure she imagined some other good traits in you if she agreed to marry you."
"I loved her."
Nessa stayed quiet.
"And she betrayed me over and over again. Do you know what that's like?"
"No, I only know what it's like to be betrayed once. When Tate told me he had been playing with me, I wanted to die. I wanted to kill him, too. I wanted everyone to suffer with me because his betrayal meant all the good times we shared had been lies. Sometimes love is deadlier than hate. Do you believe that?"
"I do. I mean, that's how I felt the day Jessica didn't show for our wedding. That everything was a lie."
"The thing is," Nessa said. "It wasn't. If your feelings were genuine, then they weren't a lie. I told myself that. Even if Tate broke my heart, he still gave me special memories and I wasn't going to let one horribly bad memory ruin the good ones."
"Do you still love him?" Knox asked as he stared at the whiskey.
Nessa sighed. "Do you still love Jessica?"
"You said she didn't have a choice but to leave me. Did she tell you why? Why she didn't have a choice?"
"I told you it doesn't work that way. I can't control these thoughts. They come in waves. She doesn't want me near you. I think she's jealous."
"Jealous?" Knox chuckled. "Now that would be a first."
"Why do you say that? I'm sure you had women all over you when you two were together."
Knox grinned. "All these compliments from you tonight and I'll start to think you like me. Are you sure you don't want to spend the night in bed together. I can't claim to love you but I am attracted to you in an odd way."
"Stop with the backhanded compliments and answer my question," Nessa said, ignoring his joke.
"Jessica Spencer was beautiful and she knew it. I loved her but we fought a lot. It was always chaotic. You say you want a selfish love. Maybe that's all I ever wanted as well. Jessica, wasn't willing to care for me the same way I cared for her. Maybe it wasn't in her to give that kind of love. The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that leaving me was the best thing for the both of us."
"What are you saying?" Nessa asked.
Knox poured a glass of whiskey and lifted it in the air. "A toast. To me finally getting over Jessica Spencer!"
Nessa dashed across the room and knocked the glass out of his hand. "You can't be drinking!"
"What's wrong with you? I can drink if I want to so leave me the hell alone!" He began pouring himself a new glass.
"Just because you're upset, doesn't mean you should get drunk! I told you Jessica didn't have a choice. She's dead! Don't you get it? She was murdered! She had to be!"
"Even if that's true, it wouldn't change things."
Nessa placed her hand over the glass of whiskey. "You don't have to do this. It won't make you feel better."
"What's it to you if I get drunk anyway?"
Nessa wasn't sure how to answer but she managed to get some words out. "How are you supposed to be my bodyguard if you're drunk?"
"No one will break into the hotel."
They fought for the drink and Nessa let go, causing it to spill on Knox.
"Dammit, why are you such a nuisance?" Knox shouted.
"Why are you trying to hurt yourself by drinking if you're really glad Jessica left you?"
"You don't understand--"
"Then explain it to me."
"I loved Jessica. I thought she was the one but right before our cancelled wedding I found out I was wrong."
Nessa waited for him to continue.
"I thought she loved me, but Jessica...Jessica only loved herself."
"Why do you say that?" Nessa asked.
Knox shoved the bottle of whiskey away and ran a hand over his face. "Because she was cheating on me."
"She cheated on you?" Nessa asked. "You still loved her even after you knew?"
Knox's shoulders slumped, heavy with defeat. "I'm an idiot, right?"
Nessa stopped herself from retorting an insult. Instead she waited for him to continue.
"I was going to meet some friends for lunch when I saw her. She was all over him. I wanted to tell myself it didn't mean anything. That maybe he was just a friend. I knew better. She was playing with his hands and he...well, he was eyeing her with a look that was more than friendly. What really bothered me was they looked comfortable together. Like whatever they had going on had been going on for a long time."
"What did you do?" Nessa licked her lips in anticipation. "Did you call her out?"
Knox 's mouth twisted in regret and he shook his head. "No, I did something worse."
"What?"
"I pretended not to notice."
"You can forgive a lot when it comes to the person you love," Nessa said softly.
Knox slowly made his way to the sofa and sat on the opposite end from Nessa. His eyes looked tired as he continued his story, "I texted my friends to meet me at a different restaurant and I walked away."
"Why?" Nessa sat up straight, her eyes wide with surprise. "Why didn't you march in there and ask her what she was doing?"
"Because I was afraid."
"Knox Marsden, the man they call the Tin Man, was afraid?"
"The what?" Knox looked at her, surprised. "Who calls me the Tin Man?"
Gloria, Knox's secretary, had told Nessa that secret. "Uh...nothing. Nobody. What were you saying?"
"Nothing important. I just didn't want to confront Jessica while she was with another man. I felt it was beneath me."
"Is that all?" Nessa asked, not believing him. "It had nothing to do with the fact that there was a chance she would've dumped you if you did confront her?"
"There was that," he admitted.
"People were wrong about you," Nessa admitted. "You're not a Tin Man."
"Why do you say that?"
"Only someone with a heart would be afraid to have it broken."
"You keep going on and on about this selfish forever kind of love. I thought I had that with Jessica."
"I thought I had it with Tate."
Knox turned his head towards Nessa and gave her a sad smile. "I guess we both kind of wasted our forever love on the wrong people."
Nessa scooted closer to Knox. "Be honest. If Jessica were to come back into your life, would you accept her?"
Knox's forehead scrunched up in thought. "I'd like to think I wouldn't. She really hurt me. No, I wouldn't. I think I miss the idea of the relationship more than the person."
"If I had known I'd get to see this side of you, I'd have recorded you. People would pay good money to watch this." Nessa grinned.
"I doubt that but if it meant not having to see you dressed like a dinosaur anymore, I'd help you out."
Nessa ignored the flips her stomach made in reaction to his comment. "You haven't dated anyone seriously since Jessica?"
"No. Not seriously. What about you?"
"Tate was my only boyfriend. I'm not the type of woman who men just ask out either."
"Why do you say that?"
Nessa gave him a perplexed expression. "I'm not exactly the most successful or beautiful person. Men kind of just overlook me. Or forget me. I'm not sure which is worse."
Knox's eyes traveled across her figure and one corner of his mouth rose. "I wouldn't sell yourself short. You're not exactly Frankenstein."
"Gee thanks," Nessa said sarcastically.
"What? In all seriousness, you're sexy. Hot. Kinda weird in a good way. You certainly made an impression on Patrick. He calls you the donut licker."
Nessa groaned in embarrassment.
"Do you think the way Tate broke things off with you has anything to do with your self-esteem issues?" Knox asked.
Nessa's brows rose. "Are you also a therapist now?"
"No, but I've been there. Done that. Thinking about these kinds of things comes with the territory."
Nessa bit her bottom lip until she tasted blood. She exhaled slowly. "Tate did hurt me. Deeply. I wasn't the same person after we broke up. Even now. I am but I'm not. Since him, I haven't dated anyone."
"So, it's been a few years for you too. We have a lot in common."
Nessa rolled her eyes. "We have a lot more things not in common."
"That's probably true. Do ever get tired of knowing you were betrayed?" Knox asked softly.
"Do you?"
"Always. For a while I even wanted to move on. Show her I could find someone better."
"Why didn't you?" Nessa asked.
"I had a drinking issue for a while, remember?" He stretched his arms across the back of the sofa. "Besides, once you learn fire burns, you grow hesitant to get too close to the flame."
"Is that so?"
He didn't speak. Instead he nodded his head once, his eyes on Nessa. The air seemed to crackle between them with some unspoken truce.
"Nessa?"
"Hmm?"
"I've got whiskey on my shirt."
"Sorry, but you wouldn't let go and the cup just kinda flew at you and—"
"As a recovering alcoholic, it's not good for me to be wearing this."
Nessa's lips puckered in thought. "Okay."
"That means I'm going to take this shirt off. Is that alright with you?"
Nessa felt like a feral cat being approached by animal control. She swallowed a lump of nervousness. "Why are you asking for permission?"
Knox slowly unbuttoned his shirt, his eyes locked on Nessa's. He had a white undershirt beneath the dress shirt.
"Nessa, I've been thinking," Knox said, his voice deepening.
"You shouldn't do that. You'll hurt yourself."
He ignored her jibe. "I know you said you wouldn't sleep with me as some kind of substitute but what if..."
Nessa's cheeks burned and she fought back the smile threatening to form on her face.
"What if I wasn't using you as a substitute? What if we were using each other to heal?"
"Heal?" The word came out of Nessa's mouth like a croak.
"Heal."
"I'm not sure that's a good idea," Nessa whispered, her voice raspy and low. "You're talking about a sexual healing."
Knox scooted closer to her and she could smell his cologne. It reminded her of one of those magazines that were almost nothing but expensive perfume and cologne ads. He leaned forward and his lips were practically touching hers. She felt his hands lightly circle her waist. Swirls of cotton candy feelings wafted around her as she purposely nudged her lips towards his.
Nessa's hands lifted his undershirt up and he quickly helped her by raising his arms, chuckling.
"A sexual healing. It feels like a good idea, doesn't it?" Knox whispered.
Nessa's head began to pound as she tried to block out the voice that was shouting at her to stay away from Knox.
"Nessa, are you okay?" he asked. "We can stop if you don't think you can do this."
"No!" she placed her hands on his bare shoulders. "I want to do this. I need to but I need you to know I'm not easy. I'm respectable."
Knox chuckled. "You sound like your landlady right now."
She lightly smacked his shoulder. "I'm being serious."
He straightened his shoulders. "I respect you, Nessa. No matter what happens."
"I need to explain so you don't think I'm easy. I'm so not easy."
"Nessa, you're probably the most complicated person I know. Easy isn't a word I'd use to describe you. I'm not sure what this will lead to--"
"You said a healing," she reminded him.
"Right, but what if the healing leads to us dating? Did your ghosties say we'll end up together?"
"No, but in case this healing leads to something, I have a confession to make."
Knox leaned over and kissed the soft spot beneath her ear. "Hmm?"
"Tate was the only man I ever...you know."
She could feel Knox's smile against her neck. "Is that so? Really?"
She couldn't say it aloud but she bobbed her head up and down. Before she realized what was happening, Knox lifted her off of the sofa and began carrying her towards the bedroom.
"What are you doing?" Nessa cried, her arms flailing as she couldn't decide what do with them.
A smile played across Knox's mouth."I told you. I'm going to heal you."
"You won't see me as Jessica?" Nessa asked, her voice weak like a child's.
"You won't see me as Tate?" he mocked.
"Of course not!"
"Then don't ask ridiculous questions. The woman in my arms right now is you. Nessa."
Nessa couldn't help but grin, before wrapping both of her arms around his neck. Knox pretended to drop her and she yelped while tightening her hold on him as he laughed.
Before he placed her on the bed, Knox grabbed her hand and kissed her palm. "Let's make this a night we'll never forget."