I sat on the edge of my bed, my whole body going through random bouts of shakes. It came back worse this time, so bad I resorted to texting Mattheo. Something I swore I would never, ever do again. It seemed like the only option now. For some reason, when the nights got really late, and the thoughts got really dark, his words were the only thing that could show me the light again.
I hated it. That I depended on him, to help me. Help with homework, or spellwork, sure. But the fact that when it all came down to it, I really needed him, to help me get out of this mental space. I hated it.
I wanted to be able, so badly to text Anthony, and have him be able to do this for me. Fuck, even Pansy, or Draco, I'll even take Theo. But, no. It had to be Mattheo Riddle. Of course. The one kid I wanted nothing to do with, because at some time I wanted everything to do with him.
Life fucking sucks.
He didn't knock, he just gentle opened the door, and closed it very quickly behind him. He stood in front of the closed door, and just stared at me, curled up on the edge of my bed. His hair was messy, but his eyes were bloodshot, like he hadn't slept in days. He had a plain hoodie on, with pajama pants. He just... stared.
He slowly walked over to me, until he was standing directly in front of me, he stared down at me before raising his hand and brushing my hair out of my face. A tear rolled down my cheek before I threw my arms around his waist. He let out a small sigh, and put his hand on my head, stroking my hair.
"It's okay. Your safe now. She can't get to you, ever again." he whispered.
I just squeezed my eyes shut, and squeezed him even harder, my breathing became rough, and I was gasping for air.
"Here, move over." he whispered, pushing my body up towards the top of my bed, and crawling in next to me. Properly wrapping his arms around me, resting his chin on my head.
"Calm down. I'm here. It's okay." He repeated, squeezing me, "She's gone, you know that right? No more articles, or kidnappings, your free. She's gone." his words echoed in my head, she's gone.
"How.." my voice was way more shakier than I hoped it be, so I took a moment, "Snape said you guided him to me. How?" I looked up at him.
"Its not important, whats important is that your safe." he tried to brush me off.
"No. How Matt?" he rolled his eyes at my nickname. I knew he hated it.
"I asked around, for some favors, thats all." he huffed.
"Not your dad, right?" I grew worried, and his expression grew cold. I felt his whole body tense on mine.
"I said it doesn't matter." I felt him adjust his body.
"I never wanted you to go to him for me, I know how h-" he cut me off.
"I'm here to comfort you. This isn't a therapy session for me. Your here, your safe, I've got you. Okay?"
"Okay." I whispered, pushing my head into his chest.
Something about his goddamn touch.
I broke the silence again after a while, "we're you nervous?"
"What? About you?" He looked down at me.
"Yeah? When no one knew where I was, we're you nervous?"
"Of course I was. But, I knew we'd find you. Or someone would. I never thought anything too bad would've happen to you." He once again, tried to brush me off.
I didn't answer, instead I feel asleep in his arms, a peaceful sleep, for the first time in a week. But like always, I woke up to an empty bed.
And an unexpected text.
Dray🐇
8:20 a.m
Dray🐇
Yn
We have to talk
I haven't been able to sleep all week
I need to apologize to you
Sincerely
I can't help but feel like it's my fault.
If I hadn't asked you to help me, you would've never left Anthony's room alone.
He always fucking walks you home.
I should've done my hair my self
I am so sorry
I just don't know what I would've done
Me
Woah
Okay good morning dray
Some message to wake up too
Dray, it's absolutely okay. I promise you that.
You cannot put this all on your shoulders, she was a sick and twisted woman.
She would've gotten me anyway, If not then another time.
You cannot put that all on you .
I never once blamed you, ever.
Dray🐇
I just can't shake it
I shouldn't have asked for help
I'm not a toddler
Me
No
You should ask for help
You're one of my best friends, that is quite literally what I'm here for
And don't you dare stop asking me for help.
That's what I'm here for.
Dray🐇
Your heart, yn
It's too good.
Too pure.
Me
I've been told.
But I'm serious.
Theo🤌🏼
10:51a.m
Theo🤌🏼
How's my girl doing
Me
I'm doing much better
Theo🤌🏼
Don't lie to me
Me
No I really am
Panic attacks are subsiding
I'm getting them under control and finding comfort in the fact that she's actually gone now.
Theo🤌🏼
You know I'm a phone call away, yn.
Me
I know🤍
Ant🤍
12:30 p.m
Ant🤍
Missing you insanely right about now
Me
It's like you're a mind reader
Ant🤍
Come to my dorm?
I'll come pick you up
Me
No no I can walk
I have to walk alone again you know?
Ant🤍
I know but I can come and walk with you
Me
That would be silly
Trust me
I can walk babe.
Ant🤍
Timing you
It takes 13 minutes from your common room to mine
Me
Start the timer
Now
Bet I can beat it
Ant🤍
You are something else😂
I started my walk and tried to be very timely, not to worry Anthony.
I wanted to walk alone, mostly to really look at the corridors during the day. See where it all went wrong.
I stopped once I got to the last place I remember. A shiver sent straight down my spine. I seen the opening to the outside courtyard, perhaps she came in through there. Or the tiny door to my left, maybe there.
I seen a flash of something through the bushes, and went over to examine it.
My phone! My fucking phone! Shattered, and appeared to be dead. I wondered so desperately if it worked.
🐍
1:09 p.m
Me
Look what I just found
Dray🐇
Well
Nice to see you put up a fight
Enzo🅱️
Where the hell did you find it?
Me
Tucked in a bush! How funny
Mattheo.🚫
Does it work?
Me
No idea, have to plug it in I think it's dead
Mattheo.🚫
Idk looks pretty broken
A charger probably won't fix the whole glass issue
Me
Eh worth a try
I'll let you guys know if It does work
Mattheo.🚫
I'm good with phones, if you want my help?
Theo🤌🏼
Relax tech genius, I think she can plug in her phone without assistance.
I enjoyed my time with Anthony, as I always did, so much I forgot about the very broken phone I slipped into my bag.
I hadn't remembered it until Pansy reminded me when I got back to our room.
"We'll! Plug it in!" She screamed.
"Oh shit! I forgot!" I giggled as I ran to the charger.
We both watched it power up and the many many text's flooding in.
It felt so good, to see how much they cared, all their messages. Their worries, it made me feel appreciated, loved, needed.
Draco's, Theos, Enzo's, her own...
And...
"Oh Merlin...." We both gasped.