"So what do you think?" Alastor asked after he just showed his commercial to everyone in the hotel except Harmony who was working in Auradon.
"I'm sorry, what the fuck was that?" Vaggie asked while Hades was sitting in a nearby chair trying hard not to laugh at how bad that was.
"Uh yeah, one note." Charlie said to Alastor. "Alastor, I mean first off thank you so much for making this. Seriously amazing, but um, maybe the tone is a bit off. We want people to want to come here this makes it look..."
"Bad." Vaggie finished for Charlie. "The word you're looking for is bad."
"Funny, I was going to hilarious." Alastor replied.
"You managed to do both." Hades snickered.
"It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination which is the whole fucking point." Vaggie complained.
"Vaggie is right Alastor, the commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them." Charlie added.
"Well my dear everyone knows me from my radio show, the proper medium to express oneself, but you insisted on this noisy picture box of advertisement so I had a little fun with it." Alastor replied.
"Of fun? You had a little fun with it? Well this is not what we want to represent us." Vaggie stood up. "When Harmony was born you told us you were gonna help run this hotel more once she got older, well she's sixteen now and running her own project, you said you would take this more seriously and instead you're mocking us. Nobody is gonna want to come to a place that a powerful overlord like you thinks is a waste of time."
"Hey Vags, how about instead of scolding my husband how about you realize that if you need a commercial you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here."
"Angel you're a porn star." Vaggie deadpanned.
"A famous porn star, I'll have the horniest sinners knocking these walls down to get in."
"We are not filming a porn as a commercial."
"Why not? Sex sells don't it? I swear if you film me going at it with my fancy talking sexy husband over here you'd be rolling in participants willing to stay at this tacky hotel."
"You are not filming our private moments Angel." Alastor said.
"Hey we could have a three way with Hades, he's sexy enough and all of Harmony's loving daddies can bond stronger."
"Never going to happen." Hades glared.
"Angel I appreciate you wanting to use your special skills to um attract folks to the hotel, but I really don't want to exploit you in that way. Besides you're married and I don't think Harmony should be exposed to that." Charlie explained.
Alastor then makes Angel look at him. "Save that energy and lung capacity for later."
"Oh you know I could go all night." Angel said has he gave Alastor the bedroom eyes while Charlie went to go answer the phone. "Hey hubby why can't you just make people stay here?"
"Oh trust me." Alastor responded before the room got darker and his antlers grew longer. "I can."
"Why do you think I came here." Husk spoke up from the bar. "You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fucks bitch and moan all the time if he wasn't forcing me?"
"I like being forced." Nifty raised her hand.
"Keep that to yourself Nif." Husk told her.
"What? You don't love being here with us Whiskers even though we made you our baby's Godfather?" Angel mocked.
"Call me Whiskers again and I'll jam your husband's antlers down your throat." Husk threatened.
"As if he hasn't done that himself already." Angel replied.
"Angel let Husk do his job and no we can't force sinners to stay, they have to choose." Vaggie explained.
"I choose to be here and I think it's all stupid, we're in Hell Vags, that's kinda the end of the road ain't it?" Angel shrugged.
"Well maybe it doesn't have to be, just because nobody has made it out before doesn't mean it's not possible." Vaggie said.
"I mean, I never thought it was possible to get off the island." Hades shrugged. "Went from Underworld to Island to Hell. Man what is my life?"
"Vaggie! Holy Shit!" Charlie screamed.
"What's going on?" Vaggie asked.
"My dad just called he said the leader of the angel army wants to meet, he asked if I could go instead!"
"But the extermination just happened, what could they want this soon?" Vaggie asked only for Charlie to not be standing in front of her anymore.
"That bitch is halfway down the street." Angel told her.
"Is she.."
"Oh she's dancing." Angel smirked making Vaggie grown.
Meanwhile in Auradon Harmony was expertly finishing her royal tasks, she had to admit it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Paperwork was done, requests were handled and it was bright and sunny with the AKs and VKs all going to school together trying to be better people. As she started walking she saw Audrey was sitting by herself making her go over. "Hey Audrey, people still giving you shit about being the queen of mean?"
Audrey nodded.
"You know what? Fuck them. I forgave ya and yeah the stone thing was kinda harsh but all you have to do is show that you changed. You're a Hazbin now."
"I'll only ever be famous for my biggest mistake." Audrey cried.
"Or you'll be famous for really turning around." Harmony took her hand after drying her tears and started dancing around the whole school with her.
You can do this, somehow I know it
It's all part of my plans
There's just no way you could blow it
You have this once in а lifetime chance
To change their minds and touch their hearts
It's something every mortal have
Cheer up, Audrey, this could go well
But remember this only you can make your world your own personal Hell
There's a warm fuzzy feelin' that wafts through the air
Every street so revealing it's hard not to stare
It's a realm so appealing it beats anywhere
The sights, taste, sounds, and smell
But only you can make it your own personal Hell
There Evie and Dizzy planning their own fashion store
They are making the most since they got out of that shithole
Do what is required, we all have our role
If you don't think you're doing well
Only you can make it your own personal Hell
If I can show them the dream I've dreamed
That any soul can change
Then they will know everyone can be redeemed
Everyone has their own form of strange
I can see all their stories, the lost and displaced
And I know that they're more of an acquired taste
But if I open the door and I give them a place
From the castle to the Hazbin Hotel
Only you can make it your own personal Hell
From the studios, where the bored will go
To watch or to listen the award-winning shows
To the hotel where my radio daddy always tells me to never wear a frown
As I look forward to look into my mother's mismatching eyes
And listen to what my dad has decide
You can do this, somehow I know it
It's all part of my plans
There's just no way you could blow it
You have this once in а lifetime chance to change their minds
And make your own destiny
I can already tell
You'll make this a fuckin' happy day in your own Hell
Harmony could see the hope in Audrey's eyes and she knew she did the right thing by cheering the old bully up but before she could do more her hell cell ranged making her see it was Charlie.
"Hey Aunt Charlie, what's up?" Harmony asked.
"Harmony, I need you down here right now." Charlie said with panic in her voice.
"Did something happen at the hotel?" Harmony asked.
"No, I'm at a meeting with the leader of the angel army and we're not getting anywhere." Charlie answered.
Harmony could hear someone going on and on in the background. "So I was playing this gig and for some fucking reason this virtue chick was digging on the drummer..."
"That's him? Wow, never thought I'd hear an angel say fuck but good to know." Harmony smirked.
"Sweetie please come here, I really need your help." Charlie begged.
"On my way auntie." Harmony hung up and grinned. "This will be very entertaining."
Meanwhile at the hotel Vaggie gathered everyone together. "Ok so Charlie is dealing with something very important so while she's gone we are making a new commercial. One that represents her vision and what we're doing here so we need a camera. Alastor."
Alastor snaps his fingers and an old fashion camera that only takes pictures appeared in her hand.
"I mean a video camera you idiot. Hades?" Vaggie looked at him.
Hades rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers making a video camera appear in Vaggie's hand.
"Alright, lets do this." Vaggie quickly wrote a script and gave it to Husk.
Husk got to his place behind the bar and Angel sat at it.
"And action!"
Hades elbowed Alastor and whispered. "Bet you ten souls Angel doesn't follow the script."
"I was just about to say the same." Alastor replied.
"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel." Husk read with the script right in front of his face. "Can I help you with anything?"
"I've been a bad boy and I need a big strong daddy to put me in my place.. on the path to redemption." Angel said.
Husk groaned irritated before looking back at the script. "Well you come.."
"OH YES!" Angel loudly moaned.
"To the right place." Husk mumbled.
"Cut!" Vaggie turned off the camera. "Ok, Angel, I need you to be less horny."
"How is that possible?! My husband is standing right over there." Angel points to Alastor.
Vaggie groaned. "Husk, can you maybe not have the script right in front of your face?"
"I ain't no actor! I can't memorize this shit!" Husk complained.
Vaggie facepalmed before going over to Nifty. "Alright Nifty, you're line is 'We have the cleanest rooms.'
"Got it! I'm ready!" Nifty said happily.
"Action."
Instead of speaking Nifty's big smile disappeared and she frozed.
"Uh, cut."
As soon as the camera was off her Nifty was back to her happy crazy self. "How was that?!"
"Well Nifty you actually have to say the line." Vaggie told her. "So lets roll again."
"Ok." But once again Nifty frozed when the camera was on her.
"You're doing great vagina." Angel whispers to her.
"Cut!" Vaggie growled. "Alright maybe we can try to fix it in post."
"Do you even know what that means?" Angel asked.
"I'll figure it out!" Vaggie shouted at him before she goes to try to fix it.
Alastor and Hades then walk in and stand on each side of her.
"So having some trouble?" Hades asked her.
Vaggie mumbled before looking up at them. "Why are you two here?"
"I like hanging out with Alastor, it's like for once I have a brother that I actually like." Hades responded.
"And I'm here for the entertainment." Alastor answered. "I originally came here because I love watching wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly like you are doing now."
"Good job." Hades gave her a thumbs up.
Vaggie stood up and pointed the camera to Alastor. "And here is Alastor the egocentric piece of shit.." But before she could finish the camera zapped her and died.
"I wouldn't try that my dear." Alastor said before his voice and face changed. "This face was made for radio."
"That's it! I don't care who or what you two are or that you're Harmony's parents. If you are staying here you're gonna make this work because it won't be so 'Entertaining' to watch over an empty hotel will it shit ass?"
"Well now I'm using this hotel to watch over my daughter but I'll tell you what, let's make a deal." Alastor said to her.
"You think I'm that stupid to make a deal?" Vaggie scoffed.
"Not for your soul." Hades got up. "Just a simple deal like Harmony makes. We do this for you and in return I show this to Olympus to rub it in their faces."
"And as for me you never ask me or my little radio darling to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again." Alastor added.
"Or your girlfriend can come back to nothing more than what she started with." Hades pointed out.
"Your choice." Alastor mocked.
"Fine." Vaggie agreed.
"Now then..." Alastor and Hades both snapped their fingers and the hotel along with everyone in it got some new looks and a full camera crew.
"Alright everyone, lets make a fucking commercial." Vaggie grinned.
Shortly after Harmony appeared at the right place Charlie grabbed her and held her out in front of two angels. "Adam, this is Harmony she is not a demon or a sinner, she is proof that sinners can change, she was sent to Hell the minute she was born by her grandmother and two sinners took her in and raised her as their own. She never lies, she uses her powers for good, and she just saved the world from a very powerful curse, her parents are now helping me run my hotel."
"Uh, why is her head on fire?" The angel named Adam asked.
Harmony facepalmed. "That's what you got out of everything she just said? I'm not a demon, not a sinner, or a saint or an angel, not even human but I was raised in Hell by two demon sinners that raised me with so much love it makes me want to be the best I can be and use my powers for good like she said. My parents lived such fucked up lives that they had no choice but to sin and there is nothing I want more than to make them happy so listen to what she has to say."
"Fine, lets get into it." Adam agreed.
Charlie then skipped up to the table with her many drawings. "Ok, I've got a lot to get through and not a lot of time and I feel like you weren't hearing me before so here it goes." Charlie then started to sing.
Charlie:
I know Hell's population is out of control
It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll
If we rehab these sinners and cleanse all their souls
At my Hazbin Hotel, wait, I'm getting ahead of myself!
Right, extermination
I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year
And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here
If they join you in Heaven, that trip disappears!
You can wave that chore farewell
It'll be a happy day in He—
Adam:
Let me stop you right there
Save us all precious time
If what you're suggesting is letting them climb
Up the ladder oh, they'd rather cross the Pearly Gates?
Sorry sweetie, but there's no defyin' their fates
'Cause Hell is forever, whether you like it or not
Had their chance to behave better, now they boil in a pot
'Cause the rules are black and white
There's no use in tryin' to fight it
They're burnin' for their lives until we kill 'em again
Harmony:
Big talk from the first sinner that made the world fall in a ditch
Why don't you take a look at yourself and your blood covered bitch
You say you never made a mistake and you go by the book
Well hey I got it here so lets take a look
Adam:
Go ahead I'm perfect there's nothing for you two deliver
Harmony:
(Holds up an apple)
Hey does this look familiar?
Adam:
Hey what the fuck!
Harmony:
No sex before marriage well didn't you do your sister?
Adam:
Now wait a minute!
Harmony:
Oh thou shall not kill? Looks like we have a winner!
Adam:
"SHUT UP"
Harmony:
Congratulations you're a couple of fucking SINNERS!"
Adam:
We are not in your same class!
Harmony:
Then come down and really face me or are you scared I'll burn your dumbass?
Adam:
You were raised completely in containment!
Harmony:
I'm the proud daughter of Resilience, Power and Entertainment.
Adam:
You never had a chance, that must suck a lot!
Harmony:
"You're the lying bastard that has no shot!
Adam:
I guess I should probably mention
That we made the determination
To move up the next extermination
Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts
I know it's just been a week, but we'll be back in six months!
Harmony and Charlie freeze in shock and the two angels disappear.
"SHIT!" Charlie cries.
Harmony narrowed her eyes and walked over to her crying aunt putting her hands on her shoulders. "Aunt Charlie, I can already tell that this choice was made way before they came to this meeting, something unrelated to us happened."
"What? What could have happened?" Charlie cried.
"I don't know." Harmony admitted as she hugged her aunt and let her cry into her shoulder. "Lets go home."
The two made their way to the Hazbin Hotel where everyone was waiting for them.
"There you two are." Vaggie grabbed their hands. "We have something exciting to show you! Alastor pulled some strings and it's about to air."
Harmony grinned. "By strings you mean limbs?"
"Oh you know me so well my darling." Alastor laughed.
"Wait the commercial?" Charlie asked. "You all made a new one?"
"Yeah." Angel answered. "One of my better performances if I do say so myself."
Charlie started to tear up. "That's.. That's amazing."
Angel then harshly shushed her. "It's starting."
Just as the commercial was starting the news interrupted the whole thing. "Braking news in Hell today, we have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before. Do you know what that means Tom?" Katie Killjoy asked.
"No was does that mean Katie?" Tom asked.
"It means we're all royally fucked!"
"Wait? What? Why?" Angel asked.
"That's what I'm going to find out." Harmony said with determination.
"No you are not." Alastor told her sternly.
"What?" Harmony looked up at him. "Why not?"
"Harmony I am putting my foot down on this, we will get our answer I'm sure but you will not be chasing angels and getting in trouble." Alastor told her.
"I..."
"Promise me." Alastor made her looks right in to his eyes. "Promise me you will obey me, is that clear my little radio darling?"
Harmony looked right into his eyes and saw not only serious but worry something Alastor rarely ever shows making her sigh.
"I promise."