Chapter Forty Bonus- Regrets
Elian
I can't keep doing this to him. I tried. I really did.
I told him the truth, I expressed my interest, I even put him in a position that should've been impossible to keep picking Noel, but he did.
I practically stalk articles about him and look on his social media frequently. He's happy. It hurts that he's happy without me, but I love him, and I can't be selfish. If this is somewhere he can grow into the person he wants to be, I won't keep holding him back from it.
Besides, Noel means more than I ever did.
He had to pick between his career and Noel. He never would've done that for me. He always made it so crystal clear that his work was more important than our relationship, but when it was Noel in a bad position, Dax jumped in as soon as he could.
It just sucks knowing that he was the epic love of my life and I probably won't ever feel like that again but he's already found someone he loves so much more than me.
"I fucking hate this." I groan to myself, turning the tv off when the reporter starts showing a few photos of Dax kissing Noel.
God, how I wish it was me instead. The jealousy feels like it's eating me inside out.
"You're so dramatic. Brush yourself off and keep trying to get him back." Mr. Whitlock insists, sitting next to me on the couch. He's had a few drinks, and surprisingly enough, he's actually nicer when he's drunk.
"I can't. I want him to be happy, and..." I trail off, trying to keep myself from crying. "I don't make him happy anymore. He's better off with Noel."
"Stop with the sob story. You're not cute when you pout like a baby. We can just find another way."
"I'm out. I can't keep doing this. Nothing I do is getting me any closer to him. It's just ruining his happiness more and more."
"You don't get to quit. We had a deal."
"Well I'm done. Dax doesn't love me anymore. Not even the slightest bit. I have no chance at all with him, so it's time to let it go." I take a deep breath and turn to him more. "Maybe you should do the same. I know you want him back, but it's time to let go."
"I'm not a sentimental person. I only needed him so my name could carry on through my company."
I roll my eyes and reach out to thread my fingers through his hair. It's black but peppered with grays here and there. "I know you want to believe that, but I know you care more than you let on. You miss your son, but you don't know how to express it."
"You're delusional." He answers, grabbing my wrist tightly to keep me from touching him.
"You can pretend to not have feelings all you want, but I know you do."
He wraps his hand around my neck and climbs over me so that I'm pinned to the couch beneath him. "Shut up! You don't know anything. You're nothing but a stupid kid."
I reach up to grab his wrist. His hand isn't too tight around my neck. It actually reminds me of the kinky shit Dax was always into. I wasn't all that interested in BDSM, but I tried it out for him.
"You have to let him go. I know it hurts, but you have to."
He glares down at me, but even through the angry look on his face, I can see his eyes watering slightly. He looks at me for a minute longer before leaning down to kiss me.
My eyes widen as he wedges his hips between my legs and deepens the kiss, pushing his tongue into my mouth.
It's not bad, but I don't know how I'm supposed to react. He's my ex fiancé's father. He's like over 20 years older than me. He's a total dick, and he hit his kid and traumatized him.
But... he's still human. People make mistakes, and I can tell how much he regrets making Dax hate him so much.
I shyly kiss him back, moaning softly against his lips as I reach my hands up to run my fingers through his hair again. The stubble on his chin delicately tickles my lips as the kiss gets more intense. He puts one hand on my waist and cups my cheek with the other.
After a moment longer, he pulls away, resting his forehead against mine.
"You should stay. I don't want to be alone." He mumbles, and I almost feel bad for him, but when I smell the alcohol on his breath, I sigh.
He's going to go back to normal tomorrow and desperately pretend none of this happened. Even so, one night won't kill me.
"Okay. I'll stay."