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𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐄
I opened my eyelids slowly, my blurry vision getting clearer. I couldn't recognize the room I was standing in, and i noticed a small figure from afar, getting bigger upon getting closer to it.
It was pure silence, almost too silent for my comfort. I realized that it was Josh. The silhouette from a few seconds ago was him. He was sitting down, his gaze fixated on the ground, looking emotionless.
I called his name once, twice, countless times but in vain, no response could be obtained. The strangest part of it all was the incapacity of moving an inch when I shook his shoulders. It was like he was a statue.
"Josh, hello..?" I repeated in a state of panic, my body beginning to tremble slightly as stress and confusion flooded inside of me. My brain was struggling to comprehend the whole situation, nor understand why he wasn't moving.
The echo of my voice was covering the silence filling the place. The white place, filled with nothing and the sound of silence. It feels so realistic somehow, in my mind. Maybe I was just insane, but I've heard a voice screaming my name far far away.
"Y/N! Y/N! WHERE ARE YOU?" The voice yelled, coming closer to my position. My fists clenched and I grabbed the statued Josh's arm, scared of what could happen next.
But to my big surprise, Josh appeared, and he looked perplexed. He glanced at me, then at the statued Josh behind me. "Why is there another me?" He pointed, the stress in his voice obvious.
"I..I don't really know, but.." I hesitantly stood up and reached to hug him tightly, not wanting to let him go. "..I'm just glad you're okay Josh. I love you." I whispered into his ear, and sensed the smile showing on his facial features.
"I love you too..." He muttered back. After pulling away from each other's embrace, he glanced at the surroundings, trying to find some sort of exit perhaps, but nothing.
"Do you have any idea how to leave this place? It's like a fever dream, and I pretty much dislike it." Josh blurt out, staring at his shoes, not really knowing what else to do.
"No, I don't even know what is this place." I respond, doing the same gesture he did a few seconds ago. I did notice something but it seemed far away from where we were at the moment.
"I see something there, but I think it's pretty far away. Should we go take a look?" I point out, asking. Just precautions, of course. He nodded as we started making our way to what might be the exit of this weird and uncomfortably disorienting place.
But the more we walked, the further it got, which did not make sense. Suddenly, we heard voices at the horizon. It called our names repeatedly. I couldn't recognize the voice. Everything happening in this place was just confusingly not nice. The statued Josh, the door getting further away went we walk it's direction, and now those weird sounds.
I was struggling to comprehend the situation he and I were in, and so was he. I eventually started to panic, thinking we might never make it out of here alive. Are we stuck in a infinite white place? I'll never know for the moment.
We weakly sat on the ground, exhausted from running and walking around. We decided that we should sleep for a bit. I brought myself close to him and fell asleep quickly at the contact of his body against mine.
I woke up in a sweat, as he was shaking me violently to wake me up. "What? Did something happe-" I barely had time to finish my sentence that an horde of biotechs rushing towards us, guns glued to their hands.
We stood up in a hurry and as I grasped his hand tightly, he starting running away from them rapidly, with all his speed. After a brief moment, we lost their track and thought we might've gotten away from their sight. But turns out that was only the beginning, and that they haven't lost our position yet. A loud laser gun sound was heard and before having the time to react, shot Josh on the side of his stomach.
He groaned in pain, pressing his hand against his wound, as he let himself kneel down. My eyes widened in terror as I helped him up carefully but quickly. I glanced behind me and they've disappeared, as if they've vanished.
"They've disappeared out of thin air.." I mumbled, kneeling down with him, as we struggled to catch our breaths. "Let me see your wound.." I shifted my body to take a closer look at his injury.
It was deep, and blood dripped onto his clothes, then on my hands. "Oh god..that's an ugly wound.." I lifted his shirt, to avoid a painful infection, due to the tissue.
"It hurt so bad Y/n, you gotta have something, my head is dizzy. I'll most likely pass out soon.." he whimpered in pain, pressing his hand softly on the injury. I looked everywhere, nothing could be seen. I need to find some kind of first aid kit as soon as I can, or else he'll die.
A wave of panic started washing over me, I tried vainly to hide it, but he had noticed it. "It's alright. I'll be okay, I promise, let's just keep going forward." He mumbled, caressing my cheeks with the tip of his fingers. I really wouldn't know what I'd do without him.
"I love you Josh. Hold on for me okay? We'll get out of this place together. I promise." Tears were forming in the corner of my eyes, as I held his face in my hands. He wiped my tears away and smiled. "Let's go." He whispered, standing up.
"Okay.." I whispered back, doing the same. "I really want to leave this weird place." I complain, squeezing Josh's hand in nervousness.
We started walking once more, but remained vigilant this time, as to not bring a lot of attention towards us. My eyelids grew heavy after walking for what seemed like eternity. But I couldn't just start to sleep when Josh was on the verge of death. I fought besides the difficulties and didn't stop walking.
"Are you tired? You need to rest if you are." He blurted out, stopping in his track. "No no, you're injured, let's keep walking and find a way to escape first." I shushed him, before pulling him behind me.
A loud thud was heard from afar, which managed to startle us both in synchronization. It followed by a loud scream, which perplexed us. We ran to where the weird noises came from and found nothing.
We were left speechless for a second, then I saw it in the corner of my eyes. "It's a trap, get down." I screamed at Josh, and we let ourselves fall onto the hard ground. And just as we got back up, the biotechs had reappeared out of the blue.
The laser is almost reached us, but we dodged it rapidly. More laser shots were heard as we ran with all we had. I panted, i ran until I couldn't anymore. That was until I've realized that Josh was no longer with me.
"Fuck. No no no no no." I mumbled, returning to my old position. I just couldn't find him anywhere. There was no signs of him anywhere nearby. Tears formed in my eyes and they slid down my cheeks slowly.
I yelled at the top of my lungs, until my voice cracked again and again his name, hoping to obtain a response, but in vain. I took a step forward, then another. I didn't stop screaming, it was tiring me out, breaking my vocal chords, but I couldn't care less. I've got to find him, he's injured, I care about him and I can't just leave him.
I was terrified at the idea of something horrible happening to him. I ran, not really thinking about which way I'm going to. I'm just going, going, going. I'm sweating, I'm panting, I'm weak and I'm exhausted, but the adrenaline flooding through my veins restrains me from stopping at the moment.
My mind was foggy and I couldn't really think straight. I felt like I was going to pass out soon. But then, at the horizon, right in front of me, laid Josh.
As I approached him, I've noticed the blood spreading around his body. It was flooding from the exact same wound he has gotten earlier, but it seemed to have worsened and reopened. He was unconscious, or even worst, dead.
I couldn't think of this possibly for now, I had to stop the bleeding and feel his heartbeat, his breathing. He wasn't dead, he was softly breathing, though his heartbeats were odd. I repositioned him so he was laying on his back, then I glanced around to make sure that no enemies were present.
But now that I think of it, I have nothing to save him. I can't do anything. I need médicale stuff and I have none of these things in my possession. I'm useless in this situation. All I can do is stay by his side and pray for him to survive the impact.
I gently grabbed his hand as I kneeled next to him. I couldn't take my eyes of his facial features. How I wished none of this happened, and that we were in our bedroom, sleeping peacefully in each other's embrace.
At the thought, I squeezed his hand, and I caressed it. "I'm so sorry. I really am so sorry." I mumbled, finally gazing somewhere else than his face. "How I wish things were different. I really understand none of this." I add. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath, a failed attempt at calming my anxiety.
I bend over and pressed my ear against his chest, to hear his heartbeat. But I couldn't hear anything. There was only pure silence. My eyes widened, and my breathing hitched in my throat. "That's impossible." I blurt out.
I started shaking his body softly, then more rapidly, as fear washed over my frail body. "Wake up, wake up." I repeated, loosing hope more and more each seconds passing. I was panicking and I was scared. I was just denying the fact that he was actually dead. That his death was partially my fault, I caused it because he followed me. If he didn't came with me, maybe he'd be alive right now.
I was drowning in my thoughts. My vision got blurry and I fell into a eternal slumber.
I woke up in a cold sweat, my heartbeat rapid and my breathing heavy. I looked around. No white room. I was just laying in my room. All of this was a dream. Or more like the worst nightmare I've ever gotten. I thanked the world that none of this was real. But was I knew was real was Josh. He was not just some random boy from my dreams, he was my boyfriend. And we live together.
But when I shifted my gaze to his side, it was empty.
𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐄
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╰┈➤ Author's note
I'm sorry if the chapter is confusing, it was better in my head 😭
Basically all of what happened was a bad dream and once Y/n woke up from her nightmare she realized that Josh's death in her dream was also the case in real life (didn't died the same way though) and that her denying his death represented her denial in real life. As she just can't accept the fact he's truly not apart of the world anymore. I hope that helped for the confused people!
I will do an NSFW chapter next, just please take notice that it might be horrifyingly bad, because I'm genuinely not good at writing those (and i am not good at writing in general..), which sucks, because I wish I was better. I know a lot of readers would expect to have some smutt, and as I said in my description, I'll try my best to fulfill the readers wishes.
I love you all xx