Celeste Point Of View
“What else would you like to eat El? I heard the chef cooked one of his famous specialties today.” Caspian asked suddenly making me flinch a bit.
I give him a gentle smile.
Caspian might seem cold all the time but he's really nice. Hindi nga lang siya yung tipo ng tao na mahilig magpakita ng mga nararamdaman niya.
“I’m already full. Thank you for the kind offer though.” I politely refused. I even rubbed my hands on my abdomen to show him that I was already full.
He stared at me for a while before nodding his head. I sighed. Buti naman naniwala siya. Mahirap na, mukha pa namang mga walking lie detector ang mga tao dito.
“What gift do you want Celeste?” Dad asked while wiping the side of his lips using a clean tissue.
I stopped for a while and thought of something I really wanted to have. I honestly got everything I always wanted so, I don't think I nee–
Freedom.
I mean it would be nice to have my freedom back. But,
“What is it dear?” This time the one who asked me was no other than my grandfather.
Sasabihin ko ba? But, what if magalit siya. Nothing less they did ask me what I want. But is it really okay.
“Come on dear don't hesitate. What is it?” grandpa encourage.
I roamed my eyes around the room and noticed that everybody was already staring at me, waiting for my answer.
“If I tell you what I want would you really give to me?” I asked.
“Of course darling. We will give you everything you want. I mean common is that even a question.” He added.
“Then, if I wish that you give me my freedom back would you also give it to me?” I asked carefully.
The whole room instantly became silent. Not a single sound was heard. I gaze at the man sitting like a king in front of me. His purple eyes were now in a dark shade of purple. Hindi rin nakaiwas sa paningin ko ang pag higpit ng hawak niya sa kutsarang nasa kanang kamay niya.
‘I'm dead. Definitely.’
“Celeste, we've talk about this didn't we?” he said softly but those eyes tells me otherwise.
“I know but, you asked me what I want right. So, of course I told you because grandpa said you would give everything I wanted and that's what I wa–”
“Enough! We both know where this conversation is gonna end Celeste. You can ask anything you want but that.” He uttered aloud. He didn't even let me finished my sentence.
I stared back at him, shock and hurt. I felt a tear made it out of my eyes but I didn't bother wiping it. This was the first time he raised his voice at me. There are times that we had a minor fight but he never raised his tone while talking to me.
I saw him froze in his spot. His eyes begin to soften. He looked at me with regret and pain.
“Celeste, I, I didn't mean it darling. It was not my intention to shout. I'm sorry darling, I'm sorry.” He stuttered trying his hardest to touch me. I slapped his hands and wipe my tears away.
I didn't utter anything. Up until now I was still speechless.
Ganun na ba talaga kahirap ibigay ang hiling ko?
Caspian was about to approach me when I stepped backward. I looked at everyone with pain and sorrow dancing across my eyes.
“Why do I have to hide papa? I grew up doing everything you wanted me to do. Isn't it enough that you hide the truth about my own mother. Why do you have to take my freedom away too?! I'm not a prisoner papa. I'm not!. You're so selfish. I hate you!” I yelled and ran off.
I didn't bother looking back. That odd familiar emotion keeps coming back again.
It was pouring heavily outside but I didn't care. I continued running. Not a striking lightning and a booming sound of thunder can scare me right now.
I was tired of pretending that everything was okay. That I was fine. But I'm not. The emptiness and loneliness I feel can never be fulfilled by anyone, not even my own family.
Huminto ako sa pagtakbo at nilibot ang paningin ko sa liblib na parte ng gubat na napasukan ko. Balisa kung nilingon ang likuran ko para tignan kung may nakasunod ba sakin. Ng makitang wala ay patakbo kung nilapitan ang isang tagong kuweba.
Itong kuweba lang ang nag-iisang lagusan papunta sa bahay na sa ngayon ay tinitirahan ng estranghero na sinagip ko. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko parin alam kung anong pangalan niya.
Paano ko naman malalaman kung hindi naman siya nakakapagsalita diba.
This place is well hidden making it very hard to find. It was surrounded by huge trees and tall grasses.
The cave itself were covered with vines making it very hard to see. I came across this cave while I was on my way for a hike. No one knows about this place except me. Mila used to visit this place but, that was years ago. The rock formations completely changed over time making it difficult to track down.
Maging ang daan papunta dito ay natatatabunan na rin ng matataas na damo at bato. Buti na nga lang ay paminsan-minsan kung binibisita ang lugar nato kaya kabisado ko na ang daan.
Hindi ko naman planong magtago ng ganon ka tagal. Kailangan ko lang ng kunting panahon para makapag-isip.
Ng mahagilap ng mga mata ko ang bahay ay dahan-dahan kung binuksan ang pinto. Gabi na kaya sigurado akong tulog na siya, ayaw ko naman siyang gisingin no.
Once I was in, I quietly closed the door and tiptoed my way inside the living room. The room was dark making it hard for me to see anything.
“Nasaan na ba kasi yun. That stupid light switch should be around here somewhere.” I mumbled quietly. I might wake him up if I'm not careful.
Dahil na rin sa dilim ay nahihirapan akong hanapin ito. Pambihira ang malas ko talaga ngayong araw.
I let out a frustrating sigh.
I have to touch every single wall just to find that stupid light switch. Next time I'll put a freaking light bulb in every corner of this wall.
I squinted my eyes when my head hit a certain wall. If I'm not mistaken I'm still in the living room. The living room is quite wide, plus all the furniture and appliances were scattered around the room making it more difficult for me to walk.
Pero isa lang ang sigurado ako. Walang pader sa silid nato. Kaya paano nagkaroon ng pader dito? I touched it further down to make sure that I was not hallucinating but automatically froze in my spot when I felt a strong grip holding my hand stopping it from moving further.
I felt a hot breeze of air hitting the tip of my hair. It took me a few second to recover from shock and immediately pulled myself backward.
‘Shit.’ I cursed.
Due to the sudden contact I lost control of my balance and fell. I closed my eyes tightly waiting for the hard floor to hit my back.
But after a few seconds of waiting I didn't feel any pain. I felt a strong hand holding my waist. I gulped. I can smell his minty breath. His too close to me. Just a few more inches he might actually kiss me.
“Please move.” I plead.
Thankfully he obediently followed and slightly moved away from me. I breathed heavily. His face were no longer close to me.
Thank God. I might die from heart attack if he keeps doing this.
“Ah, thank you for helping me. And ah, I'm sorry if I woke you up.” I mumbled and distance myself a bit.
I heard the light switch on. Hindi ko lubos na maisip ang kahihiyan na ginawa ko kanina. Hanggang ngayon ay ramdam na ramdam ko parin ang init at pamumula ng buong pagmumukha ko. Isa lang ang gusto kung mangyari ngayon at yun ay ilibing ang sarili ko sa ilalim ng lupa.
Sa dinamidami ng kahihiyang ginawa ko sa buhay, ito na talaga ang isa sa pinaka-ayaw kung maulit.
Pero wala naman akong kasalanan. Kasalan niya. Kung nagsalita sana siya ay naiwasan ko pa sanang gawin ang kahihiyan nayon kanina.
Stupid. His mute. It's obvious he can't talk. But still he could have warned me somehow.
Just thinking about that incident gives me the chill.
If ever I lower my hands further I had probably tou– Oh my gosh. This is so inappropriate. I'm innocent. Pero seryoso kung binababa mo pa baka–
Oh my God. I have a dirty mind. This is not me!!.
I frustratedly shake my head while pulling my hair together. I have to erase that dirty thought off my head. Hindi ako to. I'm better than this.
I snapped back to reality when I felt a chilling gaze being thrown towards me. I stared at the guy sitting comfortably in front of me. He was staring so intently. He wasn't even moving, he just kept staring at me.
I cleared my throat. “Ah, so, this is quite awkward. I know you're probably confused of why I'm here so, I ah, I decided to stay here for a while. I hope it's ok with you.” I stutter. Why the hell do I feel nervous around this guy.
And besides it's not like I have to ask his permission to stay here. This is my house after all.
“I’ll explain everything tomorrow, I promise. I just have to change first and rest. I might catch a cold, so I'll leave you to it. Again I'm sorry for waking you up. Good night mister.” I uttered softly.
Ng makitang nakatitig parin siya ay agad na akong tumayo at naglakad papunta sa hagdan. Binigyan ko muna siya ng mabilisang ngiti at umakyat na pataas. Ng mapansing hindi niya nako makikita pa ay patakbo kung nilapitan ang pinto ng kwarto ko at binuksan at agaran din itong sinarado.
Huminga ako ng malalim at paulit-ulit na sinampal ang sarili ko. Baka pala magising ako at masabing panaginip lang pala ang lahat ng to. But no matter how hard I try, I just have to accept the fact that that incident actually happened.
I let out another frustrating sigh and made my way towards the bathroom. I ended up staring at myself in front of the bathroom mirror while blaming myself for being stupid.
Once I was done changing and drying my hair I lied down uncomfortably on my bed.
“Ang tanga mo naman Artemia. Sa dinamidami naman ng katangahan na pwedeng gawin mo. Bakit yun pa? Hystt, now how are you gonna face him tomorrow hah? Gosh you're such an idiot.” I mumbled completely scolding myself in the process.
Padabog kung binaon ang mukha ko sa unan at isinigaw lahat ng galit, sakit, at kahihiyan na ginawa ko ngayong araw.
This is the worst birthday ever!
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Note- Edited some few scenes. Please excuse the grammatical error and spellings of this chapter. Again this author is not perfect.
“Never lose today's happiness by thinking about yesterday's pain.”