THE BRISK BREEZE PROMPTED THE HAIR ON HER ARMS and the back of her neck to stand up. Inhaling the crisp air of the approaching winter, Charis surveyed the meadows below, currently devoid of any animals. Instead, there was a serene beauty to the landscape, enhanced by the glow of the impending sunrise. There were moments when Charis yearned to be like the wild horses that roamed those meadows freely.
It had been two years since her brother's passing, and the pain was still raw, especially for Charis. He had been her hero, someone she looked up to with admiration. He enthusiastically cheered her on during competitions and willingly took care of Malory when Charis couldn't. She cherished the fact that he had a special fondness for waffles, a rare treat in their family. Their shared love for sweets often led to unfinished meals and scolding from their mother when they would leave food on the plate.
The memories flooded back—passing him tools as he worked on the truck, the driving lessons he gave her, the joyous spins they took across the fields. But every mention of his name brought back the exact ache she felt on the day he left this world. The wound, despite the passage of time, remained painfully fresh for Charis.
Shifting her gaze toward the woods, she contemplated the idea of wandering into their depths, wondering if she would ever find her way out. Her eyes then moved to the stables, the barn, and finally, the driveway leading up to the house. The thought crossed her mind to close the window quietly, so as not to disturb Jackie's sleep. As she gathered her belongings, she neatly folded clothes on the desk, Charis recognized the significant challenge ahead – making a discreet exit from the property at four-thirty in the morning. She considered the possibility that Katherine and George might have already awakened.
Charis cautiously opened the door to Jackie's bedroom, stepping into the dimly lit hallway. The door emitted a faint creak, prompting a hushed gasp from Charis. Glancing toward the twins' bedroom, she pondered whether either of them was awake at such an early hour. Cole's presence crossed her mind; perhaps he was awake, contemplating the events that transpired – how he had hurt her, how he had asked for her trust, and how he had kissed her.
Charis couldn't shake the uncertainty about whether he regretted his actions or if, perhaps, he harbored different feelings. She wondered if she fell short of what he needed and if her inability to provide comfort after a day centered around football had strained their connection. What did the kiss good night even mean?
Awake and staring at the ceiling, Cole found himself in the quiet early hours of the morning. Feeling the need to occupy his mind, Cole decided he would get up and work on the truck in the barn. The persistent issue with the vehicle had been nagging at him for quite some time.
As he sat up in his bed, Cole's thoughts inevitably drifted to Aster, the late brother of Charis. Aster had once worked at Tony's, a period during which he imparted a wealth of knowledge to Cole. The tragic memory of Aster's demise replayed in Cole's mind. A proud Aster had completed work on his truck and, despite the rain, took it for a spin. Tragically, the brakes failed, and the vehicle spun off the road, leading to Aster's untimely death, pronounced at the scene. The weight of this loss lingered in Cole's thoughts.
Aware that life's uncertainties could unfold unexpectedly, Cole had grown somewhat indifferent to the possibilities, especially after his injury. The sense of an uncertain future had led him to a state of not caring much about the potential risks. Currently, however, his thoughts were consumed by Charis. Imagining her asleep in the neighboring room, probably nursing a substantial hangover, all he truly desired was to hold her in his arms.
Reflecting on his recent actions, Cole couldn't help but acknowledge how poorly he had treated Charis. Taking Jackie to the watering hole, omitting Charis from their hangout plans, contemplating a kiss with Jackie, and ultimately leaving with Erin—all these actions had painted a regrettable picture. Even George, Katherine, and Danny had advised him multiple times that Charis needed space. However, in his attempts to give her the space she supposedly needed, he ended up pushing her away.
Desperation to mend the situation gnawed at him, but Cole found himself at a loss on how to fight for something that didn't naturally fall into his hands. The dilemma of wanting to fix things but lacking a clear strategy weighed heavily on his mind.
Charis, lacking a clear strategy for her journey home, was well aware that her return would be met with the realization by her father that she had been out all night. Stealthily descending the stairs, she tiptoed carefully, trying not to alert anyone to her presence.
Cole, somewhat distracted from his thoughts, was drawn to the sound of creaking outside his door. Initially dismissing it as one of his family members, he grew more attentive as the noise persisted. Deciding to investigate, he got dressed and left his room, leaning on the stair railing. To his surprise, he spotted the top of Charis's head as she descended the stairs. Intrigued, he followed her silently as she made her way out of the house.
On the porch, the Walter family dog greeted Charis enthusiastically, prompting her to pause and pet the friendly animal. Catching up to her, Cole approached. As the door opened behind Charis, both of them stood there, mouths poised to speak but falling silent. In that moment, they grappled with the uncertainty of whether to say anything at all or maintain a silence—neither knowing the right course of action.
Cole, burdened with thoughts, found himself grappling with where to begin the conversation. Opting for a more casual approach, he slipped his hands into his jacket pockets.
"What are you doing?" he inquired, his voice echoing down from the top of the stairs. Charis shifted her attention from the dog to meet Cole's gaze.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" she replied, attempting to redirect the conversation. The cool breeze sent a shiver down her spine.
"It looks like you're kidnapping my dog," Cole teased, descending the few stairs in an effort to lighten the mood. A genuine smile from Charis would have brightened his day, but the pain she carried dampened any potential warmth.
"I can take you home," he offered, gesturing toward the car.
"I think you've done enough," she shook her head. Despite her current predicament, the prospect of a ride home was tempting.
"I haven't," he insisted, tilting his head and maintaining eye contact with her. Charis felt uncertain.
This time those three words weren't alarming. They knew exactly what they were going to talk about, but neither wanted to be the first to break the silence. It was on Cole to choose his words precisely. Charis was still unsure if this conversation would involve an apology or if it would mark the end of their relationship. The anxiety gnawed at her, and she feared confrontation, whether it led to a positive or negative outcome.
He beat her to her door and opened it for her, causing her heart to flutter. Jogging to the other side of the car, he swiftly got inside, started the car, and the radio recognized the tune. Seeing Charis sigh, Cole's hand quickly went to the volume, turning it down. He had left the CD inside for her. After a quick scan of the property to check for witnesses, he accelerated forward. Charis knew Cole was grounded, risking an earful of yelling.
"How are you not hungover?" he asked, attempting to make her laugh. Charis shook her head and continued to gaze out of the window.
"I'm sorry," he said, beginning the apology.
"Not for the, you know," he added, gesturing to the earlier joking question.
"I'm sorry for everything," Cole looked over at her, causing her heart to clench slightly.
"You're gonna have to be a little more specific," Charis said, looking down at her hands in her lap. She desperately wanted to hear his apology and equally desired to forgive him, but protecting her pride was important. Charis questioned if forgiving him would mean he wouldn't hurt her again.
"To start off my many mistakes," he ran a hand through his hair. They stopped at a stop sign, and he shifted gears and accelerated.
"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about the invite," he said, steering right. Charis's face remained neutral, and Cole hated that. He wanted her to give him a sign, a hint.
"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about the lake house," he continued.
"I'm sorry about Erin," Cole said, hesitating when mentioning her name. Charis caught on to that.
"I'm sorry that I stood you up, but I am not sorry that I kissed you," he concluded, truthfully. Now it would be Charis's turn to speak, and the anxiety churned in her stomach. She took a deep breath.
"If you wanted to hang out with Jackie, that was fine," It wasn't fine, but it was something she was willing to forgive.
"If you didn't want me to come to Dylan's lake house, that was whatever too. I'm also kind of regretting it right now," she said, gesturing to the alcohol and the party.
"You could've texted me when you stood me up, but that's in the past too, because I now know where you were that morning," she said, looking at him. He kept his eyes on the road.
"And that's not just in the past," she said. He looked at her and decided he would soon stop at the nearest bus stop he could on the side of the road.
"I want to forgive you, I do, but I don't want to feel the way you made me feel ever again,"
They drove in silence for a few minutes, Charis yearning for him to speak. As they pulled over at the bus stop, Charis couldn't help but wonder about the significance of this particular location. Cole unbuckled his seat belt, pulled up the hand brake, and turned his whole body to her.
"Charis, I won't be saying these next words to make you feel bad or guilt-trip you into forgiving me," he said, looking into her eyes. She was now returning the intense gaze, ready for this conversation, knowing what to say.
"I have never been more sorry and disappointed in myself than I have been after making this string of mistakes,"
"I never wanted to hurt you, and I never wanted to make you feel like you were just a pawn or someone I didn't care about, I like you a lot" he continued, expressing what had been bugging him for a while.
"I hope you can forgive me but I will understand if you don't," he finished.
A part of Charis wondered if he even wanted her to forgive him, it would be easier for him if she wouldn't have, so he could be let off the hook but she would have to put her self-doubt aside and make a decision.
"Cole, I forgive you, but that doesn't mean I can forget all of this," she turned her body to his, her palm reaching out to his.
"I don't expect you to forget," he shook his head in understanding.
"I still want at least a few hours to process this when I'm sober," she chuckled, hoping to ease the tension.
Now that they had unburdened themselves with the weight of their conversation, Charis found herself yearning to continue on her original path—to the graveyard. However, the prospect of requesting Cole, especially after their recent confrontation, felt somewhat awkward. Nevertheless, she decided to embrace the challenge, pushing against her reserved nature.
"Do you think you could," she began, her tone shy. Cole was momentarily taken aback by her shift in demeanor, especially after the intensity of their recent confrontation.
"What?" he inquired, a subtle twitch at the corners of his lips.
"Take me to the cemetery?" she requested, swiftly adding, "I can walk back home," to ease any potential inconvenience.
"Don't be ridiculous. Of course, I can," he replied, shifting the car into drive to continue their journey. As they arrived at the cemetery's parking lot, he parked the car, and both unbuckled their seat belts. However, Cole hesitated to exit when Charis shot him a look.
"I can wait here," he offered.
"If it's no trouble, I'd appreciate it if you could come with me," Charis requested.
Graveyards, with their hushed atmosphere and solemn rows of tombstones, exude a unique sense of serenity and peacefulness. As the sun casts long shadows across the gravestones, there is a profound stillness that settles over these sacred grounds. The silence of the graveyard invites contemplation, urging visitors to reflect on the nature of life and the march of time.
Fate, like an invisible thread woven through the tapestry of existence, is palpable among the markers of those who have come before. The gravestones stand as reminders of the unpredictable journey each soul takes, leaving visitors with a sense of recognition of the shared destiny that unites us all. In the gentle rustle of leaves and the soft whispers of the wind, there is a certain tranquility that transcends the boundaries of life and death.
As they arrived at the Duncan family grave, the weight of the date under Aster's name struck Cole with the realization that today marked two years.
"Charis," Cole began, attempting to speak to her, to apologize for his earlier inconsideration.
"I don't expect you to know these things; it's okay," she reassured him, standing next to him at the grave.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday; I could've been nicer," she told him, looking into his eyes.
"No, I needed to hear it," Cole shook his head, leaning slightly toward her.
"I was upset and took it out on you," she responded, unjustifying her actions.
"Was it me that made you upset?" Cole asked, wondering if it was him or the anniversary of her brother's death.
"No," she shook her head, sighing before continuing.
"I think it was the fact that I got a reminder on my phone that Aster's death anniversary was today. I was mad at myself that I had forgotten because usually, I would plan a trip and a picnic with my family, but now I've come hungover and unprepared," she concluded with a slight smile.
"Though I'm sure my brother is laughing at the state of me," she chuckled sadly.
"It's not your fault," Cole spoke carefully, recognizing the sensitivity of the topic.
"I know," her words came out hushed, tears quietly welling up.
"Yeah, but you're still angry with yourself. I can see it in your eyes," he observed, lifting her chin. Pulling her into a hug, she exhaled comfortably.
"I guess I am. I just thought it would be easier with each passing year. But it is not," she admitted into his chest.
"It'll get easier, but yes, it will need a lot of time. Kind of like with our legs," he said, grinning.
"Nothing will ever be the same, will it?" she pondered.
It was time for Charis to head home, and at six in the morning, they both needed to reach their respective residences. Charis felt a twinge of worry about Marilyn and her father's reaction, considering she had never engaged in such activities before. She briefly toyed with the idea of sneaking in and pretending to be asleep, but quickly dismissed it—Marilyn was well aware that Charis spent the night at the Walters.
"Good luck," Cole wished her, placing his hand on her shoulder and letting it trail up to her cheek.
"Yeah, you too," she replied, brushing his hair away from his green eyes.
"Call me when you can," Cole requested.
Charis stepped out of the car, allowing Cole to turn into their driveway. She walked quietly to the front door, which was unlocked, indicating that at least her father was awake. She treaded carefully, closing the door behind her, and began to take off her shoes.
A figure in her peripheral vision cleared their throat, and Charis immediately recognized her father.
"Good morning," she greeted him.
"Morning," Austin corrected her, his crossed arms conveying that it was not a good morning. He pointed towards her.
"Before you start rambling, I know you were at the Walters," he stated.
"I'm sorry; I got drunk and then I crashed over there," she apologized sincerely.
"I was young too, I get it. I just hope this was a one-time thing," he said, stretching out his arms. He could hardly stay mad at her.
"Yeah," she reassured, melting into his hug.
"I mean it, Charis. I saw the bottle was missing," he said more sternly.
"Yes, Dad."
"So why did you come so early? We could've come over to pick you up," he inquired, releasing her.
"I wanted fresh air, and then Cole woke up, and we went to the graveyard," she explained.
"That's nice. You two on good terms then?" Austin asked.
"We're on decent terms. He'll have to put in some more effort to be on good terms," she grinned.
"That's my girl," he high-fived her. As Charis moved toward her bedroom, her father stopped her.
"Listen, Marilyn and I will still go to their graves later, to put some flowers and candles. You can come with us if you want," he offered.
"Of course," she confirmed, smiling.
When lunchtime arrived, their father took charge of cooking, and the sisters gathered at the table to set it. They plated the delicious-smelling pasta with salmon, and Austin shared exciting news.
"The foal will come sometime next week; I just need to get the papers done," Austin explained, prompting Marilyn and Charis to look up with interest.
"That's amazing. Does it have a name?" Marilyn asked, sporting a wide smile.
"He is currently nameless," Austin chuckled.
"Then it's up to us," Marilyn nudged Charis with her elbow.
"Is the stable ready?" Charis inquired, containing her excitement more effectively than Marilyn.
"Just need to pick up some more hay," Austin replied with a casual wave.
"I'm full. Anyone want mine?" Charis lifted her half-full plate.
"Sure. I thought you didn't eat breakfast?" Austin motioned her over.
"No, Cole made us some pancakes," she informed him.
"So, names?" Marilyn asked the two.
"Don't know. What breed is he?" Charis shrugged, walking around the table.
"Colorado Ranger," Austin grinned, fulfilling their longtime wish.
"What?! Are you kidding me?" Charis stopped in her tracks, her excitement evident.
"Oh my god, he must be beautiful," Marilyn gushed.
"He will remain a mystery until you see him," Austin pointed at her happily.
"As will his name, I suppose. We'll know when we see him," Charis smiled brightly. Austin was pleased to see his daughters happy, even on such a day.
After putting the dishes in the washer and tidying up, they prepared to go to the cemetery. They placed the flowers and candles in the trunk, planning to light Bianca's candle in a week as a storm was approaching.
Upon their arrival at the cemetery, they lit the candle on Aster's grave and settled down on a picnic sheet. They shared snacks and reminisced about the good, funny, and sad times. As the wind began to pick up, they decided to pack up. Marilyn and Austin intended to go to Lark After Dark, but Charis didn't feel like joining them. Her phone rang, displaying Cole's name on the screen. She motioned for her family to head to the car while she took the call.
"I thought I told you I would need some time," she said with a smile, pushing her hair behind her ear.
"Surely you're sober now?" he asked, smiling on the other end.
"Lucky for you, I am," she nodded.
"So, I'm grounded and can't leave the premises," he cut to the point.
"Uh-huh," she nodded.
"So, I was wondering if you could drop by?" he asked, his voice hopeful towards the end. Charis smiled and shook her head.
"I don't know. I would, but there's a storm coming, and I am very much without driving abilities," she thought out loud while walking toward the car.
"I can get my dad to drop me off and pick me up when they come home from Lark After Dark," she said, pausing with her hand on the handle.
"Smart," Cole confirmed, understanding the logistics. His parents probably shouldn't see Charis at his house, but he didn't mind taking the risk for her.
"See you then?" she grinned cheekily.
"You bet."
━━ 𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙖 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘀 !
so sorry for the late update, i was sick, and still am so it took a bit longer! thank you so much for 10k ! <3
also, I had many different drafts for this particular chapter and kept revising them, hopefully, this is the one you'll like! sorry for making it short and ending it abruptly.
next chapter coming before friday!
don't forget to vote and comment!