WHITE FLAG ▹ potter

030. someone who loves you wouldn't do this

ACT TWO, chapter thirty :
all of my pain and all your excuses
i was a kid but i wasn't clueless
(someone who loves you wouldn't do this)

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The Executioner was grinning at them through his black hood, sharpening his axe.

Feeling very ungracious, Lili flipped him off with both hands before scurrying after her friends as they strode through the courtyard and towards Hagrid's hut. Crows circled overhead, black wings overhead, lingering like death omens. Usually, the Snape girl was a major fan of a good murder of crows, but she was too depressed to enjoy even their presence.

For Lili, end of year exams went worse than they ever had.

It was the withdrawal; she knew that. It wasn't so bad at the start, not on the first day. She was tired and a bit twitchy, yea, and though her hands trembled, it was a simple enough thing to hide within the sleeves of her robes or blame her bad penmanship on her missing two fingers. That always managed to make people uncomfortable.

Still, manageable. She could do it.

Today, though, Lili felt terrible. Straight dreadful. She felt irritable and anxious and exhausted but terrified of sleeping, and she'd a constant thin sheen of sweat breaking on her neck. She suffered through endless nausea, having asked to be excused from the examination in the Great Hall three times to vomit in the loo.

Worse than any of that, though, it was the day of their favourite hippogriff's execution, and the quartet was not at all pleased.

"I can't believe they're going to kill Buckbeak," Hermione voiced everyone's thoughts, wearing a deep frown. "It's too horrible."

"It just got worse," Harry groused.

Lili looked over his shoulder towards the large stores where Draco, along with Crabbe and Goyle, lurked with binoculars in hand, spying on Hagrid like a herd of creeps.

"Did you see the big, fat blubbering oaf?!"

From a distance, Lili could see their half—giant friend standing in the pumpkin patch, tossing dead ferrets to poor (soon—to—be—dead) Buckbeak. Hagrid wiped his eyes and sadly loped back into his hut.

"What did l say?" Draco was jeering happily, "Father said... l can keep the hippogriff's head. I'll donate it to the Gryffindors' room. This is going to be rich."

Hermione's eyes narrowed and she began marching down the hill with shoulders hitched high.

Uh oh.

This was going to be wild and potentially violent, and Lili was very excited.

When he spotted them, Draco crooned, "Ah, look who's here! Come to see the show?"

"You!" In an instant, Lili's best friend whipped out her wand and aimed it between his wide eyes. "You foul, loathsome, evil, little cockroach!"

Cockroach. How fitting. Lili blinked pleasantly. Draco stumbled back against a massive rock, simpering and cross—eyed with fear as the wild—haired girl jabbed the tip of her wand against his forehead. 

"Hermione, no!" Ron cried in dejection, making her stop and look back. "He's not worth it..."

With a sigh, Hermione turned away, but then, when the Slytherin began to snigger, she spun back quick as lightning and landed a punch right on Draco's nose, making his head smack back against the stone. Lili's jaw dropped. Stunned and sobbing, Draco leapt to his feet and made a runner, Crabbe and Goyle huffing and puffing back up the hill just behind him.

Everyone in the quartet was beaming from ear—to—ear.

A bit bashful, her best friend confided, "That felt good."

"Not good," awed Ron, "Brilliant!"

Lili grinned and threw her arms round Hermione, both of them laughing as they teetered back and forth.

It could only get better from here...

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Shocking plot twist: it did not.

ϟ

It was just like Lili's vision — it had all come true.

Lili was in a house of screams.

Somewhere, far away, the girl could hear the screams of her friends, Hermione shouting warnings and Harry burning with rage and Ron crying out as he was dragged further into the pit, slipping from their outstretched hands.

The earth seemed to swallow her whole, and when it spat her back out, the house groaned as it inhaled and exhaled as if it was a living beast. Through the slats of wooden roof was the moon, full and bright, and the light was endlessly cold, the fine hair on the back of her neck rising with every heartbeat.

Then, there, before her were a pair of filthy human feet, belonging to a man lying in wait within the shadows. Filthy, matted hair hung to his shoulders, dirty teeth bared, skin greyed like a corpse. Lili knew of only one person it could possibly be: Sirius Black.

"Oh, f—ck," the thirteen year old said, with feeling.

Lili and Hermione instantly put themselves between their friend and this mass murderer.

"If you want to kill Harry, you'll have to kill us, too!" Ron shouted.

"No." Black smiled madly. "Only one will die tonight."

"Then it'll be you!"

Harry shocked Lili by charging forward, hands grasping at his dirty collar and yanking him forward. The criminal man didn't even fight back when he was slammed into the ground. In her ear, Hermione was urging her to stop Harry, to pull him away, to do something, but Lili couldn't move. No, for her eyes were searching for the other Lili across the room.

Black eyes on nothingness.

All alone, the one Lili watched Black chuckle on the ground, teeth blackened and eyes wild, "Are you going to kill me, Harry?"

"Yes."

Just as Harry raised his wand, the door crashed open and someone was shouting, "Expelliarmus!"

"Professor Lupin?!" Lili gasped, genuinely shocked at this new development.

The holly wand went flying from Harry's shaking hand, and Lupin nodded the boy away so he stumbled up and Lili tugged him safely back to her side. Then, the DADA professor ignored the four panting kids, aiming his wand for his forehead, eyeing Black with worrying intensity.

"Well, well, Sirius. Looking a bit ragged, aren't we? Finally, the skin reflects the madness within."

Hands raised, on the floor, Black chuckled madly, "Well, you'd know all about the madness within, wouldn't you, Remus?"

Lili's eyes narrowed. 

This was... weird. The two men regarded each other, the moment taut with tension, then Lupin stepped forward, pulled him to his feet... and then embraced Black like a brother. Lili's jaw dropped. The two men talked eagerly about how they'd found him and they were going to kill him and all that shite until Lili's only coherent thought was:

Oh, we are so f—cked.

"No!" Hermione cried out in betrayal, "I trusted you! I covered up for you. And all this time... you've been his friend!" Her best friend whirled round to the others, pointing sharply at their professor, "He's a werewolf! That's why he's been missing classes!"

Oh. So that was what Snape was talking about! Well, now Lili felt stupid. And she wasn't the only one, seeing as how Harry and Ron were at her side, looking just as dumbfounded. Black howled then, bitterly amused, making them all jump. Lupin eyed his... friend... disapprovingly before turning back to face the children.

Head slightly cocked, he took a few steps closer. "How long have you known?"

"Since Professor Snape set the essay."

"Well, well, well, Hermione, you're the brightest witch of your age I've ever met—,"

"Enough talk, Remus!" Black cut in, pacing wildly, "Come on, let's kill him!"

Lili tightened her hand round her yew wand, ready to blast the b—stard back from whence he came if he so much as looked Harry's way.

"Wait, Sirius—,"

"I did my waiting!" The madman criminal screamed, choked with tears and actual insanity, "Twelve years of it! In Azkaban!"

"Lili?" Harry leant over, whispering rapidly in her ear, "Lili, in your vision, what happened next, what happened—?"

"I..." Lili's eyes darted. "I dunno, it didn't get this far..."

Lupin eyed Black with deep sorrow before looking back at the four kids. "Very well. Kill him. But wait one — more — minute, Harry has the right to know why."

"I know why!" Harry stepped from Lili's side with a murderous shout, hoarse with anger, "You betrayed my parents! You sold them to Voldemort! You're the reason they're dead!"

"It's a lie! I never would've betrayed James and Lily!"

Lupin swiftly cut in, "Harry! You've got to listen—,"

"Did he listen?!" Harry cried, making Lili tighten her grip on his hand when his voice nearly broke, "When my mother was dying?! Did he hear her screaming?!"

"No! I wasn't there! And I'll regret it the rest of my life!"

Lili turned to Black, eyes dark and critical, seeing in his face shock of anger and pain. If there was anything she knew, it was how to identify a Death Eater. It was not a foolproof plan, true, but it was the best they had.

"Sirius Black, lift your sleeve," Lili ordered in a familiar no—nonsense tone.

Ron and Hermione looked confused, but she didn't have the time to explain. Besides, Harry understood and stood firmly at her side. Black's head had shot up, eyes startled when they locked on her intense gaze. There was a brief moment of confused recollection in his wild eyes, but it was soon buried. The madman briefly glanced at Harry, as if looking for reassurance, but he did not deny her. With rough, jerky motions, the man yanked up the black and white material of his shirt to reveal the skin beneath. Pale and dirty, but completely empty of the Mark. Lili exhaled softly, brow furrowed.

Could it be true...?

"Thank you, Lili," Lupin said to her emphatically, no matter her discomfort and Black's apparent shock at the nickname. The professor turned back to her friend, "Someone else betrayed your parents, Harry; someone who, until quite recently, I believed to be dead."

Black growled, "He's as good as dead."

"Who is it then?!" Harry demanded.

"Peter Pettigrew!"

Lili and Harry looked sharply at one another, each remembering that very specific name on the map.

"And he's in this room, right now!" Black turned then, to Ron, and crooned in a frighteningly cruel sing—song: "Come out, come out, Peter! Come out, come out and play—!"

"Expelliarmus!"

In a heartbeat, the wands had shot from their hands. The others turned to find Snape standing in the doorway, smirking smugly. Even with that smirk, Lili breathed a sigh of relief and stumbled back into Hermione with the weight of it. Her heart, beating wildly beneath her forgotten pendant, began to sing: he was here, he was here, he was here.

"Ah, vengeance — is — sweet. How I hoped I'd be the one to catch you."

Lupin tried to step in, "Severus—,"

Snape swiftly turned his ebony wand towards Lupin now, forcing him to back up towards Black on the other side of the Shrieking Shack. "I told Dumbledore you were helping your old friend into the castle. And now — here's the proof."

"Brilliant, Snape." Black mocked with a painful chortle, "Once again, you've put your keen and penetrating mind to the task and, as usual, come to the wrong conclusion. Now give us our wands back. If you'll excuse us, Remus and I have a bit of unfinished business to tend to—,"

As he approached, Snape jabbed his wand to the criminal's neck, making everyone jump. He hissed, "Give me a reason. I beg you!"

Lili's brow briefly furrowed when she glanced quickly between the three men. Just... what the hell...?

Lupin quickly shook his head, "Severus, don't be a fool..."

"He can't help it," Black jeered, "It's habit by now—,"

"Sirius, be quiet—,"

"Oh, quiet yourself, Remus!"

Throwing up his hands, Professor Lupin gave up and turned away with a deep sigh. Lili couldn't help but feel both confused and fascinated by this strange turn of events.

Snape clucked his tongue, smirking between the men, "Aha, listen to you two. Quarreling like an old married couple. The creature and the criminal."

"Piss off," Black snapped.

"Witty as ever I see," Snape mocked.

"Oh, why don't you run along and play with your chemistry set?!"

Snape jolted to dig the wand deeper into Black's throat, teeth bared as he hissed, "Tell me, will you be so irreverent when I turn you over to the Dementors? They're so longing to see you." Black recoiled and dark glee gleamed in Snape's eyes, "Do I detect a flicker of fear? Ah yes. One can only imagine what it must be like to endure the Dementor's Kiss. It's said to be unbearable to witness. But I'll — do — my — best."

"Severus, please..."

Snape's eyes hardened when he gestured to the door, "After you—,"

"Wait!"

Halfway to the exit, everyone startled at the sudden cry of Harry's voice. Snape whipped his head round, obsidian eyes glinting dangerously, wand still white—knuckled in his hand. Lili watched them both very cautiously.

"I want them to explain," her friend rushed out, "It can't hurt to let them explain—,"

"Don't even try it, Harry," Black jeered with a mirthless smile, "Don't bother wasting your breath on the likes of Snivellus."

Lili flinched at the nickname, and Harry's brow briefly wrinkled in surprise. Snape's eyes narrowed with pure hatred that would make any sane person tremble, and she could see that her father was about five seconds away from sending a hex that would separate the man's head from his body — no matter the consequences. Lili felt the need to step in.

"Sev?" That got his attention, dark eyes cutting to her sharp enough to bleed. She forged ahead, "Sev, Black doesn't have the Dark Mark."

"Which means what, Lilium?" Her father's face was dark and frigid when he snarled, "Nothing! Only that Black was too much of a coward to bear evidence of his allegiance to the Dark Lord."

Black looked ready to pounce but Lili beat him to it, saying, "There's more. There has to be more."

"What more could there possibly be than the pathetic excuses of a murderer?"

"Oh," Black scoffed a bitter laugh, "Well, you would know all about being a murderer, wouldn't you, Snivellus—?"

"Be quiet, Sirius!" Lupin ordered, putting a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Let them explain..." Harry tried, voice shockingly calm. "Sir."

Snape narrowed his eyes at them, gritted his teeth, and then swiftly looked back at Black and Lupin. Lili could feel her wild pulse in the tips of her fingers as she held her breath, feeling the tension in the shack rise higher and higher until it became nearly impossible to draw in any breath.

Then, finally, Snape growled, "Talk."

True, everyone was surprised that he'd given in, but talk, they did.

What followed was a wild tale that Lili almost couldn't believe and yet she could hear the threads of truth through every tersely spoken word. Theirs was a story of a rat missing a toe and a man missing a finger because Black apparently wasn't a mass murderer, in fact, he had been framed by an old best friend who turned traitor and had hidden in plain sight for the past twelve years, and most wild of all, Ron's rat, Scabbers, was none other than Peter Pettigrew himself.

In the shocked silence that followed, Snape's eyes were wide in disbelief before he sneered at the amazed looks on the children's faces. "Surely, none of you can believe such an outrageous tale!"

"We're not saying we do... exactly," Lili said as calmly as she could manage, eyeing the rat cautiously. "But... But could you check — just in case?"

Snape ground his teeth, the sound of it audible in the tense air of the shack. Out the corner of her eye, she could see how Harry stared into the criminal's sunken eyes. Wanting to believe. Desperate to believe. She glanced at Ron and his agonised face, Scabbers squirming violently in his tight grasp.

Their friend grasped his rat protectively to his chest, whimpering, "What are they going to do to him?"

"Nothing he doesn't deserve," growled Black from the other side of the shack.

"Don't worry, Ron," Lili murmured, nodding encouragingly at her friend, "If he's really just Scabbers, I promise Snape won't hurt him."

But Ron thought Lili was blind where Snape was concerned; he always had. So, he looked quickly and rather desperately at Harry who nodded grimly.

"It's okay, Ron," said Harry. "We... We can trust him."

Shock rippled through the Shrieking Shack.

Lili's eyes went wide, and Snape's own tight expression slipped slightly. Still, Ron's suspicious eyes turned to their Potions Professor. Though he looked like he wanted to roll his eyes, Snape gave a small incline of his head. That was as best as they were going to get. Finally, swallowing hard, Ron set Scabbers onto the floor and released him. The wretched little thing squeaked and immediately made a runner, but Snape was faster.

With a blast of blue—white light, Scabbers twisted madly in midair and then, in a flash, the rat twisted and stretched and transformed into... a man. He was a very short rodent of a man, hardly taller than Lili herself (who was already the shortest in her year). He'd a rather grubby look about him, with greyed skin and thinning hair and teeth that still bared like a rat's.

Peter Pettigrew.

"Holy," said Lili, "Sh—t."

Harry's eyes were amazingly huge, and he kept tugging on Lili's sleeve as he couldn't believe what he was seeing and he wanted to make sure she was seeing it too. Shaking his head over and over again, Ron's jaw was practically on the floor and Hermione looked understandably disturbed. For his part, Snape's face turned a pale green, lips parted just enough to betray his genuine shock.

"Why, hello, Peter," Lupin smiled quite pleasantly, though Lili saw a distinct tightness round his eyes. "Long time, no see."

Snape sneered in disgust.

"R—Remus? Sirius! My old friends!"

Pettigrew's small, watery eyes darted, and suddenly, as if going in for an embrace, he made a break for  the door, but Snape merely got in the way to shove him back from the exit with a vicious scowl. Pettigrew's hands fluttered nervously, revealing a missing index finger. Lili curled her own hand, lacking a few fingers as well, into a tight fist. The man's nose twitched, much like his rat alter ego, his desperate gaze finding Harry.

"H—Harry!" Pettigrew rushed to get in his face, hands outstretched before Lili slapped them aside. Still, the rat—man didn't give up, "Look at you, Harry! You look so much like your father. Like James! We were the best of friends, he and I—,"

"Shut up!" Black roared, charging forward to yank the man away, "How dare you speak to Harry! How dare you talk about James in front of him!"

Pettigrew scurried away, trying to escape Black and Lupin, and was then blocked at the door by Snape yet again, so he hurried to the opposite side of the room, trying to find safety behind the broken piano.

"You sold James and Lily to Voldemort, didn't you?!"

"I didn't mean to!" Pettigrew whinged, bottom lip trembling as he blubbered, "The Dark Lord, you have no idea the weapons he possesses! Ask yourself, Sirius: what you would have done? What would you have done?!"

"I would've died!" Black cried wildly, "Died rather than betray my friends!"

And shockingly, Lilium Snape had this in common with bloody Sirius Black.

Who would have thought?

With a frightened yelp, Pettigrew ducked down and crawled under the piano to once more turn to Harry for help, "James wouldn't have wanted me killed! Your dad would have spared me! He would have shown me mercy—!"

Lili grunted when she forcefully shoved the disgusting rat—man away from her friend yet again. With a sneer to match her father's, Harry held onto her for balance.

"You should've realised, Peter," said Black, prowling closer, "If Voldemort didn't kill you..."

Snape suddenly swept forward, ebony wand raised, to hiss: "We would..."

"Together," Lupin agreed, lifting his own wand.

It was amazing to see these three men working as one, but Lili supposed murder really had a way of bringing people together. Fascinating.

"No... please... you can't..." Pettigrew's eyes desperately darted, finding, "Ron! Haven't I been a good friend? A good pet? You won't let them kill me, will you? I was your rat—,"

Ron turned away so Pettigrew swiftly turned to Lili's father.

"S—Severus! Severus, please..." The rat—man mewled pathetically, "We're so alike, you and I, just biding our time all these years! P—Please, you must help me—,"

"You and I are nothing alike," her father snarled in disgust.

"Ha!"

At this, Sirius Black's eyes glittered angrily before they slid quickly from Harry to Lili.

"You! Lili, was it? Interesting name. You're Snape's daughter, are you?" When she gave the slightest and most cautious of nods, Black smiled mirthlessly, "Don't suppose that's something your dear old Snivelly told you about. Hm? That he and this rat served the same master!"

"We know," Harry spoke up in Lili's place, tone short and quiet. "We both do."

Black was taken aback. Snape glowered at the man. But their wands did not fall, remaining pointed directly into Pettigrew's face. The rat—man shrunk back trembling, closing his eyes in fear, when:

"No."

It was Harry, voice firm and unrelenting. The men staggered when the kids whirled to look at him, all of them adorned in surprise.

Lupin tried, "Harry, this man—,"

"I know what he is. But we'll take him to the castle." He turned to Snape, as if he was the voice of reason in all of this (ha, bloody ha). "Please, Professor."

Lili held her breath, watching her father look from Harry to Lili and back to Harry again. Then:

"Sometimes I truly do hate you, Potter," Snape sighed deeply.

Ron cocked his head and mouthed, "Only sometimes?"

Honestly, Lili shared his confusion.

"Bless you, boy!" Pettigrew cried pathetically, falling to his knees to cling to Harry's legs. "Bless you—,"

Both Lili and Snape instantly moved closer, but Harry had already drawn back from the rat's touch.

"Get off!" Harry growled with burning anger, gritting through his teeth, "I said we'd take you to the castle. After that, the Dementors can have you."

"Well then." Snape straightened, a sneer still etched onto his face, "Shall we?"

One—by—one, they traversed back out of the shack and through the tunnel. The trek from the rickety building seemed to take much longer leaving than it did going in. Snape kept to the back with his wand still out, apparently wanting to keep a close eye on both Pettigrew and Black.

Her father mercifully put a Feather—Weight Charm on Ron so it was easy enough for Lili and Harry to carry him through the darkness with Hermione's help pointing out roots and rocks and the like. When Lili glanced back, Snape's eyes were black and irritated, and she knew she was at least part of the reason. She'd forgotten to activate the pendant to signal for help. What was it he said before?

'The Girl Who Got Harry Potter Killed... Whatever would we do without her.'

Perhaps Lili was an even worse friend than she thought.

Distantly, she heard Black talking to her friends, but it wasn't 'til he looked her way that she realised he was talking to her.

Pink—cheeked, she very intelligently asked, "Huh?"

"I said, I cannot believe you are the offspring of Snivellus Snape."

Lili turned to look at Black head on, straight—faced and black eyes glittering ferociously.

"Ah, yes, now I can."

"Lili's my friend," Harry sounded oddly defensive, helping on the other side of Ron.

"Sure." Black shrugged once before glancing back. "Nice name you've given her, Snivelly. But I wonder... where have I heard it before?"

"Sirius," Lupin warned just as Snape growled over her shoulder.

"Save your words for the Headmaster, Black. My daughter need not speak to the likes of you."

"Oh, you haven't changed at all, have you?" Ahead, Lili saw Black's lips curl into a nasty smile, the hatred in his eyes matching Snape's. "You know what else hasn't changed? This tunnel—,"

"You would know," the coldness of her father's voice brought up the hairs on Lili's arms.

"—This place was almost your last sight on Earth once, Snivellus, and I'd be all too eager to arrange that for you again if you're not careful."

The tension choked out whatever else might've been said.

No one else breathed another word for the rest of the journey.

When they finally emerged from the roots of the Whomping Willow, Pettigrew was prattling on desperately and rather pathetically, "Turn me into a maggot. A dung beetle. A flobberworm! Anything but the Dementors...!" His ratty pleading eyes found Lili and he latched onto her pant leg with startling intensity, "Good girl. Clever girl. Surely you won't let them—,"

"Get off of me!"

Lili tugged herself from Pettigrew's sweaty grasp, and Snape shoved him onto his back with his wand raised and a sneer in place.

"Do — not — touch — her."

As Harry slowly stepped away to join Black in staring up at the castle, Lili felt herself shiver in the chilly evening air and tugged her leather jumper closer to her chest. Strange. It was the beginning of summer, wasn't it? Ignoring the faint puffs of white breath, Lili winced at the state of Ron's leg. It did not look good.

"That looks really painful," Hermione sympathised, crouching down at his side.

"So painful," Ron milked it, eyes darting. "They might... chop it."

Lili arched a teasing brow.

Hermione humoured him gently, "l'm sure Madam Pomfrey will fix it in a heartbeat."

"lt's too late. lt's ruined. It'll have to be chopped off."

Lili offered a weak smile, "Look at the bright side, Ron, at least you've still got all your bones?"

Ron's nose scrunched, "At this point, I wish I didn't. Even Lockhart's bloody spell would've been better than this."

Snape rolled his eyes and stepped away, still surveying the scene. Lili bit her lip and slowly followed him.

"Was this where it happened?" Her father looked sharply at her, and she kept her voice soft so only they could hear. "The prank, that James Potter and Sirius Black played on you?"

Snape nodded once, quite stiffly.

"What was it?" Lili lightly touched his sleeve, whispering, "What did they do to you?"

Snape's eyes squeezed shut, briefly, and if she wasn't watching so closely, she'd have missed the slight shake in his wand hand.

"Same story, different versions — depending on who you ask. Their little posse — Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew; they called themselves something ludicrous: 'The Marauders'."

The Marauder's Map... Lili realised belatedly, eyes widening slightly.

Snape's upper lip curled and he shook his head tightly, as if to shake himself out of the memory.

"When we were fifteen, I noticed they were up to something — always crossing the grounds after curfew, going towards the Whomping Willow, creeping into the Shrieking Shack. I was a prefect, and I knew they were always up to something.

"Perhaps Black thought it would be — amusing — to tell me how to get past the tree, to find out what was going on. And just when I saw... saw — it, Potter arrived and dragged me back. Saving my life, little as it meant."

Heart in her throat, but still so confused, Lili managed to croak, "That... That wasn't very nice."

What an understatement. What a pathetic trivialisation.

Her father snorted quietly, but there was no derision in his voice when he murmured, "I was forbidden from speaking of what happened, and I—I was forced to apologise to them. I was almost killed, and I apologised to them."

"How?" She was so scared to know. "How were you almost killed, Sev?"

"Because of Lupin—,"

And then, "Harry!"

It was Hermione's voice, carrying through the chilly air, quivering with fear.

Lili swiveled round to find the bright full moon and then the only one who feared it more than all of them. Remus Lupin was a rigid silhouette, his fingers twitching, eyes turning a frightening yellow. Oh. Snape stumbled back and gathered the children behind himself instinctively. Lili couldn't help but hold onto the back of his robe, threading her fingers into the thick material.

Black immediately ran to support Lupin's weight, gasping, "Remus, my old friend, did you take your potion tonight?!"

Lupin, twitching, shook his head. Pettigrew's eyes darted, taking in the situation, noting the wand trembling in the professor's lengthening fist.

Snape tried to order the kids, "Run! All of you. Now!"

But none of them could even move, utterly transfixed, watching as thick bristles stabbed through skin, teeth grew long into fangs, bones twisted to create a new form.

Black wrapped his arms round his friend and pressed his mouth near his ear. "You know the man you truly are, Remus. This flesh is only flesh!" He pounded on his chest, "This heart is where you truly live. This heart! Here!"

As soon as Lupin's wand hit the grass, Pettigrew leapt forward.

"No!" Harry bared his wand, shouting a familiar spell, "Expelliarmus!"

Yes, the wand flew from Pettigrew's hand, but Harry was too late.

The rat—man froze, slowly turned to face them, and then he grinned hideously. With a mocking wave, he began to transform — head first — shrinking into the size and figure of a rat 'til he dropped through the empty clothes and emerged in his full Animagus state. Lili watched in horror while Pettigrew the Rat scurried through the grass and straight into a pair of waiting feminine hands.

Lili's eyes slowly travelled upward until they landed on a pale and beautiful face, belonging to a woman with long black hair and deep black eyes.

Her breath caught.

"Bellatrix..." Her father murmured in just as much shock as she.

Mum.

Lili and Harry both launched forward, for vastly different reasons, but Snape and Hermoine together held them both back. Bellatrix (her mum), with the rat in hand, released a cackling laugh and then darted into the trees, disappearing into the night. A howl pierced the air, and out the corner of her eye, Lili saw the creature that was once Lupin tossing Black through the air and turning towards them. He was no longer human but a completely vicious, mindless werewolf.

But instead of snarling and snapping, Lupin the Werewolf was... whimpering.

Hermione tried to slip free, to step closer, "Wait, wait—,"

"Granger!" Snape grasped her best friend's wrist and yanked her back, hissing, "Desist this instant!"

Hermione couldn't escape from his grip, but she didn't stop talking, "Professor...?"

"Bad idea, Hermione. Bad idea." Ron whimpered, "Nice doggy, nice doggy...!"

Softly, Hermione asked, "Professor Lupin?"

But then the werewolf reared his head back and howled at the moon. Lili tightened her hold on all those round her, these people who were most important to her, and she tugged them closer to herself. The werewolf's eyes blazed, long teeth glittered, and then a horrifying growl erupted from its throat. Snape drew his wand and stepped forward, arm extended to shield the children behind him.

The werewolf howled again, sprinted forward, and then was intercepted by a gigantic black dog midair. Sirius Black. Hermione shrieked and Lili stumbled into her father, clinging onto him for balance. The dog and werewolf hit the ground in a fierce tangle of flashing teeth, a single horrible flailing beast. Again and again, the dog pushed the werewolf back, but the werewolf was far too strong.

"Sirius!" Harry cried in horror.

The dog yelped in pain, and the werewolf flung him into the tall grass before chasing after.

Finally, they broke free — Harry in one direction, Lili in the other. One familiar hand tried to catch her wrist, but the girl tore free of it with a vicious yank and then threw herself into the waiting arms of the Forbidden Forest.

"Lilium!"

Lili heard Snape roaring after her, but she didn't dare stop. His arms might be stronger, but her legs were faster. Her mother had absconded with the rat, but she couldn't have gone far. The girl fled into the trees, short hair blowing in her eyes, branches whipping at her cheeks, slicing open delicate skin. Fog clinging to her shins, leaves crunched under her boots and she slid in slick mud, squelching and trying to slow her down. Something within her chest, something burning on her arm, seemed to call her further onward. 

Lili would get Pettigrew.

Lili would find her mother.

"Wait, Mum, I'm coming! I'm coming for you!"

Lili would find her mother.

And there she was.

Bellatrix Lestrange.

Her mother was waiting in a break in the trees, illuminated by moonlight, arms outstretched and waiting. Without a second of hesitation, Lili ran straight into them. Breath left her lungs when they collided, and her mother's arms were warm and welcoming as the girl sank into the embrace. Bellatrix's smell seemed almost familiar to her, like jasmine and something long forgotten; she closed her eyes and tried not to think of anything, not Harry or the rat or Snape's frightened face. Lili didn't care if everyone said Bellatrix was evil or vile or cruel; she was her mother, and this was all she had ever wanted.

Her heart finally sang: family, family, family.

Bellatrix rested her cheek atop Lili's head, whispering into her hair, "Our girl... Our darling girl..."

Tears travelled in rivers down the girl's cheeks. Bellatrix had drawn Lili's face against her breast, kept her arms round her, and held her tight. She nestled her head into her mum's chest, as she always did with Sev when she simply didn't want to see the world. It did not bring the same comfort, not really. She tried to ignore this.

"Mummy..."

Bellatrix gently stroked down Lili's damp cheek, thumbing away the tears before she lightly brushed over the scratches on her cheeks and then the scar on her lip and chin.

"I have been waiting so long to meet you, our sweetness," she whispered, so softly that Lili could hardly hear. "Let me see it, our Delphi, let me see..."

Lili could only stand in sudden confusion when Bellatrix tugged up her sleeve and cooed at the sight of the girl's Dark Mark, softly stroking the tender blackened skin. Instinctively, Lili flinched and tried to pull away, but her mum's grip was too tight to succeed. The girl's mouth was dry and she forced the word out hoarsely:

"Delphi?"

"Oh..." Bellatrix's eyes snapped back up to hers, dark and glittering in the moonlight. "I know Severus renamed you once he stole you away. But it is your true name. The one the Dark Lord chose for you: Delphini Lestrange."

"Delphini," the word tasted wrong — bitter and unnatural.

The forest round them darkened when the moon was swallowed in clouds. Suddenly the shadows shifted, and at once, a howling wind tossed the tall branches of the trees overhead. Black hair whipped in the breeze, so sudden and frigid that it stole her breath away. The air sizzled with the snap of cloaks, and then, one—by—one, heavy—clad wizards Apparated into view, encircling the mother and daughter in the spotlight of the moon.

At last, the wind died.

Lili recognised these men. Oh yes, she recognised them.

After all, these were the men that had kidnapped her.

In books, hatred is often described as hot, but here, in this forest, surrounded by past Death Eaters, Lili discovered it was cold. Like a horde of Dementors, like their ice—cold hands had stopped her heart and clenched it within a fist in her ribs. Hatred made her freeze, and in spite of the dangerous fog swallowing them, she still hoped against hope that the world was a good, safe place.

Lilium Snape — no, Delphini Lestrange — stood at the center of their circle, a subject to their scrutiny and mockery, listening to them jeer:

"She's as mangled as they said."

"Thank Merlin she's not inherited that nose."

"I suppose we have Sirius Black to thank."

The girl tensed, remembering the words from her vision, absorbing the abuse, wanting to make herself small.

Lili tried to take a step back towards the trees, but when she saw a flicker of darkness across her mother's face, she forced herself to still and stand as motionless as a doll. And then, for a terrible moment, there was only one thing in the world she wanted — to see these men lying dead on the forest floor, limp and cold and empty. 'Good heavens, Lilium, what a heartless creature you sound!' There were angry tears filling her eyes, and she tried to hide them from her mum.

But her voice still shook as she said, "H—How do you know these people, Mummy?"

"Ahhh." Bellatrix nearly hissed, sounding frighteningly like a snake. "These, our sweetness, are my friends. Your friends. They tried to bring you to me much earlier, right after I escaped, but Severus, he stole you away, yet again."

Lili still hadn't moved. She was trembling — not just out of fear, no. Anger.

Oh, she was so bloody angry.

"Of course you've met Wormtail," Bellatrix's tone was as disgusted as Lili's own, "But this is Avery Junior, and the Carrow siblings. The man there is Gibbon, and there's Nott, and Macnair... You'll know them all, in due time."

Lili glared angrily at the Death Eaters all round her, fists clenched as if she wanted to hit out blindly. This was no surprise. Oh no, not with her anger, not when it had threatened to swallow her whole. So often this past year, she wanted nothing more than to lash out at the whole world, but it did no good, none at all. The pain remained.

Her voice almost choked in her helpless rage, "Mummy, no. No, they—,"

"Are you ready to leave?"

Lili fought to be heard, "They kidnapped me, they took me from Sev, and—,"

Bellatrix's eyes snapped to her, narrowing with violence, then softening. "Of course they did, our sweetness. Someone has to shield you from that world, and it has to be your mummy."

Silence fell again, and once more it smelled of danger. Her anger was failing. Lili shook her head and wiped a torn sleeve over her tearstained face. Her torn bottom lip trembled and her breaths came out in soft shaky exhales as she fought to keep hold of her anger, to keep it tight within her grasp.

"Oh no, no, no," her mother crooned and crept close, cradling her face in her rough hands, her breath warm on her cheek. "Hush now, our sweet, it's all right. You'll come with us now, and we'll take such good care of you."

"But... but my friends, and my father, they need me—,"

"They are so far beneath us, our sweetness, all of them. Which of them compares to us, to your mother? Who could love you more than her? What could they offer that she could not supply?"

Lili tried again to back away, but a freezing hand clasped round her wrist, sharp nails piercing through her soft skin. Her mum did not smell sweet and safe, but now scented of musty jasmine, the faux fragrance enveloping Lili in a suffocating threat.

A low chuckle sounded over her shoulder. She recognised that voice: Avery. He crooned, not so far away, "Oh yes... The Dark Lord will be so thrilled to see her once he's returned, won't he, Rodolphus?"

Her mother hummed happily, strangely. 

"No..." Lili choked, "No, I don't want this..."

The grip on her wrist became tighter, more restraining, and she felt much like an animal caught in a trap, prey surrounded by predators. She could remember the feeling of the rope round her throat, popping her shoulders from their sockets as her hands and feet were twisted behind her back. She was slipping down into her fear, into her pain. For a moment, Lili almost forgot where she was, but Bellatrix reminded her.

Her mother slapped her, hard, across the face with the back of her hand.

"Do not argue with me, little witch," she hissed.

And so Lili obeyed.

Her bottom lip was swollen with the taste of blood in her mouth.

"Something's wrong. You're all wrong," said Bellatrix, frighteningly detached. "Completely wrong, completely different."

Bellatrix sounded curious about it, and the curiosity wounded Lili — as if her mother noticed these wrongs but didn't care. She wondered if it was true; she might be worse than she thought, irreparably damaged. Like everyone else, even Bellatrix was a perfect figure that Lili could not ever compare to.

"You're not at all how Bellatrix described."

Lili's hand, having been cradling her split lip, slowly fell to her side in growing confusion.

Before her very eyes, her whole world was falling off its axis. Something horrible suddenly began happening to her mum. Her mother's face and figure began to melt and slip and twist out of shape. And oh Merlin, oh God, the woman she thought was Bellatrix was not a woman at all. No, no, she became a man, with a thin malnourished face and very dark hair, a look of utmost disgust shining in his hazel eyes.

"Who..." Lili whispered in rising horror, "Who...?"

"While I wasted these years away in Azkaban, waiting for our great Lord to return, my wife — Bellatrix — told me all about you. All she did for you, everything she did to shape you. So perfect for the Dark Lord, she wanted you to be. Oh, how disappointed she would be to see you today." The man — her mother's husband — kept reeling her closer and closer, 'til she was nearly arched back to stare up into his malicious face, "But now, I see she sent me to punish you."

Lili couldn't process this, couldn't understand, couldn't ask or shout or flee.

"Severus Snape's love has ruined you, Delphi—,"

Her step—father's voice died away as if the wind had blown it from her lips.

Something was rising from the earth, growing from the roots, leaves, and dirt that covered the forest floor. The night air suddenly stank of sulfur, growing closer, stretching ashen limbs. The stench burnt Lili's eyes so much that the world blurred. A gust of violent wind, a plume of black smoke, and then Lili felt her body hurtling backwards, dragged so fiercely she nearly vomited. A short glimpse of bared teeth and clawing hands, and her world was darkened by the smoke, furious screams smothered by the rush of wind.

Lili seemed to fly through time and space, with no hope of ever stopping.

Until, finally, she fell back to the earth. Landed hard on her back, skidding across rough ground, 'til her head was cradled by foreign hands to protect her from a collision with a tree. The girl laid still — head spinning, bones aching. There was noise, muffled sounds just above, but her ears were full of cotton and the world was a distant hum.

She did not want to be part of it. She did not want to see it.

Immediately, a hand stroked at her hair, but she kept her eyes tightly squeezed shut, feeling traitorous teardrops slip loose. Her breath had been knocked from her, her lungs begging for air within the confines of her chest. She gasped in uselessly, over and over again, unable to find relief. Someone grabbed at her face and shook her, shouting above the hum.

"Lilium!"

The girl's sticky lashes fluttered when her eyes finally peeled open, and when she looked round, dazed, she was gazing up at a blurry visage of her father hovering just above her. Sev. Hair framed his pale and angular face, his features were stark with his fear. Sev was talking, fingers trailing her body from head to toe, searching her for injuries no doubt. Already, a bruise was forming on her cheekbone from where her mother's husband struck her.

"—Foolish girl," she could just barely hear him, "What the f—ck were you thinking?!"

Lili stared at him blankly, more stupid tears trailing down her dirtied cheeks.

Her father, stricken, murmured, "Lilium? Speak to me, child."

Lili rolled away from Sev, onto her side, clutching tightly at her own battered body. She wept, so loudly that she even alarmed herself and put a hand to her mouth. A twig cracked under her weight, and through the trees, the lights of Hogwarts were almost invisible. All these years, her father had been right. The world was a terrible place — cruel, pitiless, and dark as a bad dream. Not a good place to live in.

Sev cradled her crying face in calloused hands and turned her back to look at him. He leant down to press his forehead with hers. "Breathe with me, my girl, just breathe..."

Finally, Lili breathed. And then she threw himself into Sev's arms. Her father rocked back with the force of the small girl colliding with his chest, and he held her tight, clearly never wanting to let go. He pressed his lips to the girl's messy hair and whispered over and over and over:

"I'm sorry, my girl, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

Lili curled further into him, clinging on as tight as she could. Softly, through her sobs, she whispered, "My mother sent him. She sent him to torment me. She's cruel. She loves me, but she's still so cruel..."

"Yes, my girl," he kissed her forehead, "Both of these things are true."

Love and cruelty; who would have thought these two things could be almost the same thing?

Suddenly, a howl pierced the night.

What followed was the sound of paws thudding the earth, branches and brush being pushed aside, the heavy breath of an approaching beast. In a flash, Sev wrapped his arms closer round her, so close she could hear his thundering heart, and in terror, Lili peeked through the crook of her father's arm and his black hair just in time to see a creature break through the darkness.

Lupin. Werewolf. Sh—t.

The werewolf snarled and crept closer, poised to pounce, ready to kill.

Unable to run, unable to fight back, Sev could only curl himself tighter round Lili's body to shield her with his own and prepare for the end.

Then, the trees shook with the fury of a hurricane and a familiar hippogriff by the name of Buckbeak charged into the clearing. Uhm. Wasn't he supposed to be, you know, super dead? The werewolf snarled angrily, but before it could even strike, Buckbeak's claws slashed the air — mere inches from the werewolf's face. The wild creature howled with rage, turned, and then vanished back into the Forest.

Poor Professor Lupin.

And then her absolute bestest friend, Hermione bloody Granger, appeared out of the Forest, covered in scrapes and dirt as she praised, "Well done, Beaky!"

Lili and Sev gaped.

Hermione tossed the hippogriff a dead ferret just as Harry broke through the trees to stop at her side, both of them panting hard. Lili blinked a few times just to be sure, but yes, it was definitely Hermione and Harry... What the hell were they doing here? No, how the hell did they get here?

Sev was just as shocked, "What the f—?"

"Come on!" The boy shouted, waving a hand back into the Forest, "Come on, let's go!"

Harry took off without further explanation, and Hermione was just steps behind him.

The Snape's stared after them in utter bewilderment for another thirty seconds before Sev began to move. Apparently, Harry and Hermione had a mission for them further into the Forbidden Forest. Her father pushed himself up from the damp earth, brushed himself off, and then he held out a hand. Lili let him tug her back up until she could bury her face in his chest — where she felt safe.

"It's okay," Sev whispered against the top of her head, "It will be okay, I swear it on my life."

Lili knew it wasn't okay, not at all, not by a long shot, but she would take what she could get.

ϟ

Lili woke in Sev's arms.

She felt the beating of her father's heart and the rise and fall of his chest with each breath that he took. She pressed her cheek against the soft cotton, fingers curling tighter into his shirt; he'd shed the robes and his usual waistcoat, she realised, long ago. Above her, Sev was carding his fingers through her tangled hair. Feeling sweaty and shaky with withdrawal, she knew she was likely in dire need of a bath and a very good hair brushing, but neither of them dared move.

As they simply sat and breathed together, Lili tried hard to think through everything that had happened.

Now that her mother's husband — Rodolphus Lestrange — had escaped with Pettigrew, Black had to go on the run as he couldn't be proven innocent. That was, of course, after they managed to break him out of his cell before he was Kissed by the Dementors. This was not something Sev had been overly pleased about. But orders were orders, she supposed, at least according to Dumbledore. There was more to it, she knew, something about Hermione's Time—Turner and Harry casting the biggest Patronus Charm Sev had ever seen, but none of that seemed important now.

What was important was that Lili had met her mother, and realised she was a monster.

But Sev, her father; he wasn't a monster.

As she sat cradled in his arms, Lili started to suspect she'd underestimated what she'd been given years and years ago, what her father had given her. This whole time Lili tried to put love into the language of words and feelings and bloody Hogsmeade weekends, as if any of these things could begin to explain the bond between him and her.

Without even knowing it, Lili felt owed trifles, so resolutely, so achingly. When, in fact, she was given something bigger — something she hadn't understood until that visceral moment in the Forbidden Forest: the kind of love she'd missed that existed between her father and his child.

It's not love. It's not love. It's not love.

That had been the lie, spun so casually, so perfectly that Death Eaters and Lilium Snape alike had believed it.

Severus Snape did feel something like love for her, in his own confusing kind of way.

Lili knew Sev had little experience both giving and receiving love, and perhaps the inexperience had made him bad at it, but that didn't mean that it wasn't possible for him. And, true, Lili also knew Sev's emotionally challenged heart might make it difficult to ever admit aloud that he did love someone, namely: her. So, she would never dare ask him. Because the Lestranges might've thought Sev's love ruined her, but she thought it must've saved her.

Softly, so he could barely hear her, Lili whispered, "What happens now?"

"Now. I help you deal with your dependence on Dreamless Sleep."

At this, Lili froze, blanched, and pulled him from his grip to peer up in utter disbelief. Sev simply arched a brow at her, as if waiting to hear her deny it. But she couldn't, she wouldn't even dare try now.

"I didn't take it for too long," she mumbled, cheeks pale with shame.

"One year," he countered through his teeth.

"I'm fine," she tried to protest, quivering voice betraying her.

"I'm sure. As if I can't see your dilated pupils, the tremors in your hands, and the sweat on your forehead. By all means, continue trying to hide your symptoms from me, Lilium." He seemed to almost growl at her, pointing his finger in her face. "I only happen to be a Potions Master as well as a certified healer, and I refuse to ignore the evidence any longer."

Lili deflated back into the sofa, and Sev seemed to relax slightly.

"As it is," her father continued rather stiffly, "I cannot give you any more potion."

"You said you were going to help me!" Lili bolted completely upright, unable to keep the accusation out of her shaking, desperate tone, "This is how you're going to help me?"

"Yes. This is how."

"You call this 'help'?"

"I do. Lilium, you know just as well as I that this potion is highly addictive, and you have abused it long enough. I cannot in good conscience provide an addict with another dose."

"First Pomfrey and now you—!" Lili stopped, face blanching when she realised what she'd just blurted.

Sev's eyes went wide and he shouted in a near fury, "You went to Madam Pomfrey, behind — my — back, and demanded more potion?"

Oh sh—t, oh sh—t, oh sh—t, oh sh—t.

"I needed more, I—I tried to go without, but I just... I couldn't—,"

With a sudden twist to his features, Sev sighed and softened towards her. Giving a sigh, her father stopped her babbling and pulled her close in the next inhale, burying her face into his cotton shirt, holding her so close it was hard to breathe. She twisted her shaking hands into the fabric 'til it rode up his back. His grip was beginning to hurt, but she didn't dare say so. She wanted him to hold her tighter.

"All right," Sev kept repeating himself, clearly at a loss of how to comfort her. "It's all right."

"Yea," Lili murmured into his shoulder. "As long as you stop your shouting at me for a minute."

"Well, it is a bit hard to shout at you when you've gone and turned yourself into a potions addict to cope with something that I couldn't stop."

Lili squeezed her eyes shut and turned her face away in shame.

"Lilium." Sev pinched her chin to draw her gaze back to his own. "I will not ignore the fact that you have faced many... trials... over the past few years alone. You have battled the Dark Lord multiple times, you discovered less than pleasant information about your family, you have been kidnapped and beaten... I know you to be a smart and resourceful girl, the daughter of a Potions Master, and thus I can't find fault in you for searching for methods to cope with a potion, no matter how addictive."

Lili wasn't sure what to say to that so she said nothing at all, just stared up at him with big eyes.

"I cannot fault you..." His face was reddening with regret. "When I can only fault myself."

"But..." The girl blinked, shaking her head just once. "Sev, why would you—?"

"Because I knew it was only natural for you to seek relief in the difficult aftermath of such traumas of this summer, and yet I did nothing. So. It is I..." Sev dipped his head firmly, though his eyes were full of uncertainty, "Yes, I apologise. For all of it."

They stayed there in this quiet, neither doing more than breathing for what felt like a long time.

"But Lilium," he drew her attention once more, murmuring, "Potions cannot fix everything."

Lili's voice was hoarse and unfamiliar when she managed to scrape it out of herself, "Really, Mister Potions Master, sir, are you trying to talk yourself out of a job?"

Sev shot her a wry smirk but it fell in a blink. "A Potions Master who knows that this particular potion is addictive and, therefore, unsuitable for such long—term use."

"Yea?" Lili croaked weakly, "Then, what do you suggest?"

For a long time, he scrutinised her. Finally, "It seems prudent that I restart your lessons in Occlumency, sooner than I expected."

She couldn't help but feel dubious.

"You truly think it'll help?"

"It will help," confirmed Sev. "It will not fix it all, but it can... ease the suffering along the way."

Lili forced a wry smile, lashes drifting low, "So, second place to our Dreamless Sleep, is it?"

"Ah, but first place in its non—addictive properties, it is."

Tears overflowed and the girl scrubbed them from her face, a bit too roughly actually. So roughly, in fact, that Sev gently clasped her hands and lowered them, keeping them in a firm but gentle grip between them. He drew her head back to his chest and she rested her forehead against his sternum while he seemed to rock ever so slightly, back and forth.

"Go back to sleep, my girl, we can deal with everything in the morning..."

Lili instinctively tensed at that, feeling the first beginnings of panic pulling at the edges of her mind. She had a hundred things she wanted to say: I can't go to sleep, I'll only have nightmares, I'll wake up screaming, I don't want to go to bed, I don't want to see it—

"Lilium."

The panicking girl froze, eyes darting up to his firm expression.

"We both know that you cannot take the potion tonight," Sev said softly. "But I'll sit with you, and if you have nightmares, I will wake you and help you clear your mind."

She bit her lip, whispering, "And it'll be all right?"

Sev rested a hand on the back of Lili's head, fingers lost in her tangled black locks, and she leant as far as she could into his touch, almost against her will. The tension in her muscles loosened until she was nearly slumped against him.

"It'll be all right," said that low and soothing voice. "Now, sleep, and I'll be here when you wake in the morning."

With the steady rhythm of his heart beating beneath her cheek, Lili drifted off into a deep, untroubled sleep completely devoid of potions. 

ϟ

Finally, the end of the year had arrived, and it was time to go home.

And Lili no longer dreaded it.

Even if she was apprehensive to see 'the scene of the crime', she'd have Sev, and he'd help her clear her mind if it got too much. Being off Dreamless Sleep had been hell, but Occlumency had been helping — just as her father said it would. Things were better between Sev and Lili, better than they'd been in a long while, actually.

However, things had been quite awkward between Harry and Sev. Her father was not happy at the boy for running after Black and Lupin the Werewolf that night, but he no longer looked as though he was itching to get his hands round Harry's throat. Not too often, anyway. True, it could be much worse.

"It's lucky you didn't hex him," the girl commented as they looked over their exam results, seeing they'd both passed Potions (along with all their other classes).

Harry practically shuddered, making a face, "Yea, can you imagine?"

Lili very well could.

Still, there was something that had softened between her father and her friend — a thawing perhaps, as if they had extended their suspension of hostilities. Lili was glad and determined to make Sev see the real Harry, not just The Boy Who Lived or the son of James Potter. She had faith.

The Golden Quartet, as some had started to call their gang, were all safe and healing after their secretive ordeal in the Shrieking Shack. Ron's broken leg was healing and Hermione officially decided to turn in the Time—Turner, citing that it'd been driving her mad. Lili was relieved; really, she was concerned about her best friend turning grey. But of course Ron was right pissed at her about it.

"I still can't believe you didn't tell us about it, 'Mione," their red—haired friend grouched, "We're s'posed to be your friends."

"You'd have known if you paid any attention," Lili chided idly, brushing off her jumper.

Harry and Ron turned on her in shock. "You knew?!"

"Of course I knew, whose idea do you think it was?"

The pair of best friends beamed at one another, striding ahead of the boys, happily arm—in—arm.

Winning the House Cup three years running (as well as the arrival of his new Firebolt) managed to cheer Harry up a little, but Lili knew he'd been sad about his godfather (or 'dogfather', as Sev started very rudely calling him) being on the run. It stole hope from him, didn't it? And Lili hated that. Still, at least Sev wasn't leading the hunt in tracking him down, Lili reasoned, and Harry had to agree this was an added bonus.

Soon, everything would go back to normal for Lili and Draco. As cousins. They would both forget about the tension and pettiness between them at school, and they would be brill friends again during the summer. Auntie Cissa already sent a very elegant invitation to visit for a few days at the start of July. 

Lili still wasn't sure what to make of the boy, Theodore Nott, but she suspected he knew some of what occurred that night in the Forbidden Forest. How many other children of Death Eaters knew what happened? When they caught eyes during the Leaving Feast, Nott gave her a briefest nod that Lili couldn't help but return. Hm. She was going to keep an eye on that Slytherin boy.

He could make a very good ally...

Overall, things were looking up, Lili thought.

True, there were a lot of things they didn't know right now.

No one at Hogwarts was sure who their next Defense professor would be (this was always a major concern). Lupin decided to resign, regretful over having forgotten to take his potion and endangering Lili and her friends. Sev could've let his 'condition' slip to Lucius and the other governors, she knew, but he didn't. He didn't explain why, and he only glared when Lili asked.

Neither Lili nor Dumbledore were very sure if the Inspections would continue next year. After all, when he discovered they'd hosted one in his absence that included a few subjects expressly forbidden, Sev had an absolute fit — shouting and cursing and throwing all sorts of shite. Poor Dumbledore's office. But perhaps it was for the best because, in truth, she wasn't at all sure what the Headmaster would ask of her next.

They didn't know where Rodolphus Lestrange or Peter Pettigrew were, and no one knew what they were going to do next. Lili dreaded finding out, though she was sure she would — very soon.

Lili didn't know if Harry would be able to visit again this summer, though she didn't at all like the thought that he'd been returning to those wretched Dursley's. Once again, he tried to brush off her concerns, changed the subject when she mentioned it, making it out like it was all over—exaggerated.

"Besides," Harry gave her that boyish grin, hair all over the place. "I can always tell Uncle Vernon that I've got a godfather who's a convicted murderer that's broken out of wizard prison and on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though... keep up with my news... check if I'm happy..."

"For sure," Lili's eyes gleamed when she grinned back. "Or you could tell them you've a friend whose father is a frightening Potions Master who's looking for human donations — spleens and hearts and the like?"

Harry cackled. Lili did, too.

But then the girl softened and whispered, "Harry. What's really going on with the Dursleys?"

The laughing promptly stopped, and there was tension beneath Harry's nonchalant expression when he replied, "It could be a lot worse, Lil, believe me."

"Just because it could be a lot worse doesn't mean it's all right, Harry."

"I've told you, it's fine. Besides, I can't not go back."

She didn't like the sound of that. Her brow furrowed low, "Why not?"

"Dumbledore, he won't let me. I asked him if I could stay over the summer, First Year. He said I had to go back."

Lili burnt with indignation.

As soon as the Hogwarts Express left Hogsmeade (with a promise to her friends to write all the time), the Snape girl was on a mission. She marched through the castle with a determined stride and a scowl to match that of her father. She muttered the password at the gargoyle, marched up the revolving steps, and pushed into Dumbledore's office without so much as a knock. Both the Headmaster and her father were already present.

"Lilium..." Sev was caught between scolding and bewildered, stopping mid—pace to stare.

Lili dragged up every Slytherin instinct she possessed, and suddenly, her anger was shielded behind her charm. "I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, but there was something of the utmost importance that I needed to discuss with you both immediately."

Dumbledore blinked but dipped his chin, "By all means, dear girl, what's on your mind?"

"First," Lili began diplomatically, laying the groundwork for her master plan. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry, Headmaster... I know I should've better protected Harry this year."

Though still seeming suspicious, her father genuinely winced at this, and the Headmaster raised a subduing hand, "No, Lilium. I'm afraid it was unfair of me to put such pressure on you. You are not at fault for what's occurred this year."

Sev practically growled in the corner, again. Clearly, her father agreed. He hadn't appreciated Lili's mission in the first place, anyway. But she couldn't say anything about that now. She didn't mind looking out for Harry, even if she did a terrible job at it, even if she was nearly drowning herself. But she was treading water now, and she felt the need to save her friend yet again.

She'd been a Slytherin, now it was time to be a Gryffindor.

"All the same, I am sorry, Headmaster," she stepped carefully closer, hands folding behind her back. "But I know you should've protected Harry, too, long before now."

Sev's head jerked up, and Dumbledore's eyes widened minutely.

Still calmly, the Headmaster inquired, "In what way, Lilium?"

"In every way," her voice was hardening outside her control, eyes darkening too. "Harry would never say it, would never want to burden anyone, but his relatives treat him badly and he shouldn't stay there."

Dumbledore's twinkling was long gone, and his face was completely blank. She knew he was a very good Occlumens, almost as good as Sev, and so she couldn't sense if he would simply humour her, if he would listen to her, if he would even change his mind at all. But she had to try, for Harry's sake.

Sev's eyes narrowed intensely, "And what could you possibly have in mind as an alternative, Lilium?"

Under the gaze of these two brilliant and powerful men, Lili felt the moment swell, the anticipation and the hope building until she couldn't stop the words from tumbling from her lips:

"I want Harry to live with us."

annie speaks

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AHHHHH. SO MANY TWISTS. it was such a wild finish to poa, and it was a lot to put in one chapter so i hope you weren't overwhelmed. i loved seeing the changes that lili has on our hp universe here, like snape NOT being blasted into kingdom come?? sirius is freaked out that snape has a kid?? also, did anyone see THAT coming about bellatrix not really being bellatrix? wowowow. and now lili is laying down the law so harry now gets to live with the snapes! that's going to make for another interesting summer. 

now who's ready for gof?! tell me your theories!!! 

CHAPTER THIRTY—ONE :

The telephone rang.

Everyone looked up from their individual activities, startled by the foreign sound. No one ever rang them here. Like, ever. They only had the Muggle telephone (blue and pale and crackling with age) because Sev never bothered to rid their home of it, when he inherited the house ages and ages ago.

No one moved on the first ring, or the second, and at the third, Sev exhaled heavily, stood up grandly, and swept away to the kitchen. Exchanging a glance, Lili and Harry had no choice but to follow, of course. When they arrived, Sev was frowning severely at the telephone as if contemplating it, but when he saw the two kids hovering in the doorway, his jaw tightened and he yanked the phone from its receiver. He'd just opened his mouth to answer when—

"HULLO?" shouted the caller, loud enough that Lili and Harry could easily hear from across the kitchen.

Sev jerked the receiver away from his ear with a grimace.

"IS ANYONE THERE? THIS. IS. ARTHUR. WEASLEY."

my meme for the day:

yep yep