Lennox had been field stripping weapons with the soldiers when he saw Optimus standing outside the training hangar; watching him intently.
When he made eye contact with the Autobot leader, he noticed that there was a sort of worry reflected in his optics; so he turned to Epps who was beside him, and clapped him on the shoulder.
"Take over for me, I think Optimus needs something," Lennox said, gesturing over to the waiting Autobot. Epps nodded in response and continued the drill with the soldiers as Lennox made his way out of the hangar.
"Optimus? Is something wrong?"
The Prime looked over the soldier and into the hangar before shaking his head decisively.
"No. I wished...to ask you something," he said apprehensively, "is there somewhere quieter...that we could talk?"
The leader looked as calm as ever, but something was bothering them; Lennox could sense a feeling of unrest about him.
He gave a nod and gestured over to one of the storage hangars on the further side of the base, making his way over to it.
He took up a seat on a pile of cargo crates and looked to Optimus, who surprisingly took a seat beside him on the ground; one leg stretched out over the tarmac in front of him, the other leg raised so that he could rest his elbow on it.
"So...what was it you wanted to ask me about?"
The massive Autobot gave a heavy, hissing sigh before looking out over at the base. "Carolina..."
A sudden wave of both understanding and relief flooded through the soldier. He'd been worried that something might have happened, or that the Decepticons might have made a move.
In a way, he was glad it was something as simple as 'woman troubles' that plagued the leader. "Oh..." he smiled, "What's the problem?"
"There is no...problem. I am simply enquiring as to the next course of action that I...what I should..." he gave a frustrated sigh before pinching the bridge of his metal nose in annoyance at himself.
"...I am unsure of how I am supposed to word this without seeming...foolish." He turned to Lennox with a serious expression, "...How does one...court a human...?"
The soldier nearly choked on his breath, thumping his chest violently to try and clear the airway; desperately trying not to laugh at the sheer innocence of the question.
"O-Optimus...are you asking me for...dating advice?" he asked with a surprised look written on his face. The Prime's slightly shuffling, awkward reaction confirmed his suspicion.
Optimus still retained his naturally regal air, sitting perfectly rigid and calmly; but he was uncomfortable and out of his depth; which Lennox supposed was to be expected.
He was an alien robot after all; he'd never been exposed to the perils and awkwardness of their world before, namely the interactions between humans.
The relationship with Carolina was uncharted territory. "If that...is the term you use, then yes; I am seeking your aid."
Lennox scratched the back of his neck nervously as he bit his lip, trying to think of how to make the conversation less awkward for both of them.
Unfortunately, he didn't come up with any alternative. He was going to have to help Optimus deal with this head-on. "Well...how did they court back on Cybertron?"
He saw a minute, almost unnoticeable cringe from the leader as the name of his home planet was mentioned; it pained him to remember what had once been.
"Cybertronians are...different in this sense. Our relationships are based on mutual compatibility, different types of data-based Transformers will react differently to other types. I believe you would compare it to chemistry; if two Cybertronians are incompatible to begin with, they are far less likely to acknowledge anything beyond basic communication. A Sparkmate is paired for life, so if data is incompatible...they will not bond."
Lennox thought about this for a minute, trying to diagnose what it was Optimus was saying. "So...it's like computer coding; if the codes don't overlay correctly, the computer crashes."
"Something like that...yes."
He nodded thoughtfully before explaining as best he could; it was like the birds and the bees conversation all over again; but only with the basic stuff.
It reminded him of his first 'dating conversation' with his father, and he tried to think of advice that had been given to him.
"Well you see, Optimus...things aren't quite that...final with humans. If they aren't compatible in some ways, they might be in others; and a lot of the time it's possible to work through those. 'Sorting out differences' it's called. It's quite possible to care about someone that you despise too; we call those love-hate relationships, and they're probably more common than you'd believe. But in regards to you and Carolina...I don't think you have that problem, am I right?" he looked up at the Autobot with a cheeky smile, who shook his head in response.
"Certainly not."
"Right; well...let's see...you know, I don't know why you're asking me for this advice? You and Carolina don't have any problems interacting with each other, do you?"
Optimus gave another heavy sigh; frustrated by his lack of knowledge. It was so new and strange; he didn't know how to go about these sorts of things.
War was something he knew, and he could command his soldiers with incredible ease, but Carolina was not one of his warriors.
She was much more fragile, and a great deal more difficult to understand; she could not be commanded by war.
"It is not that which frustrates me. Carolina is human...her reactions and needs are different from those of a Cybertronian. You have a mate, do you not?"
Biting back the urge to laugh at the term 'mate' used to describe Sarah, he nodded and went along; hoping to show Optimus that he was listening, "Yes; she's my wife."
The robot bowed his head to look at Lennox, focusing intently on him as he spoke.
"Surely it was not always so; there must have been a prior period of transition that you courted her, where you had to convince her of your quality as a mate?"
"...You could say that, I guess." Lennox laughed.
"Then what steps are there in a human courtship Does that need to be taken...? I do not want Carolina to have to feel...different; or that she is missing something from this tradition."
To Lennox's surprise, the Prime had started to twitch his fingers nervously; a subtle show of the conflict he was feeling, and he sort of felt sorry for how scary the situation must have been for him.
"In all honesty, I don't think you should worry about it so much...but if it makes you feel better then I'll help you out on this..." he took in a deep breath, trying to piece together everything he knew about women, "To start with...when a guy likes a girl, he'll ask her out on a date."
"A date? Is that not a fruit that you grow on your planet; what does that have to do with human courting?"
It took Lennox a second to understand what he meant before he realized he was mistaking the term 'date' for the little prune-like fruit.
"No, no. It's different; asking someone out on a date has nothing to do with the one that gets grown and eaten. Just the same type of word."
"Very well... What is the next ritual?"
"Going on a date." Lennox laughed, "This is a little more complicated usually; but with Carolina, I don't think you need to worry. Usually, you'd take her to dinner, or a movie or something...it just depends on the sort of people that are dating; humans have different interests...not unlike you guys, I suppose."
He rubbed his head to try and quell his embarrassment at actually having this conversation with a centuries-old Commander.
"When you're on a date, usually you'd try to win her over by saying nice things; like maybe complimenting the outfit she's wearing or the way she looks. You'd try to say something to her like 'you look really beautiful tonight' or-"
"But she always looks beautiful...?" Optimus said in a confused tone, his finger on his temple, "...I have seen stars that pale in comparison..."
Will had to near hold his breath to keep from actually laughing. Holy crap, he thought to himself, the guy is a natural!
"That's good! Something like that is perfect; knowing Tessa she'd probably blush like crazy though."
Optimus seemed to get a distant, far-away look on his face at the thought, "It's wonderful when she does that."
He laughed again, astounded by how easily Optimus would be able to charm any female just with his honest observations.
"Okay, ease up there Romeo; once you've taken her out the idea is that you take her back home and drop her off. Sometimes a girl will kiss you goodbye, some won't. It just depends on the girl."
Optimus shook his head, "I will not kiss her until she requests it of me."
A smile crossed the soldier's features, impressed by the way Optimus respected Carolina enough to wait for her undiverted consent. "You don't have anything to worry about, you know. Carolina understands the situation, I'm sure; not to mention that you've got a natural talent with charm."
"...Charm?"
"Yeah, charm; you know, charismatic. If you just say to Tess how it is that you feel; I do not doubt that she'll understand. Maybe you should just ask her?"
The massive bot clenched his fist on his knee and looked up at the sky; the bathing sunlight making the colors on his metal shine valiantly.
"I will confess that the idea of doing so...makes me nervous." They sat in silence for a moment, Will's mind racing as he tried to find a solution.
There had to be a way to do this easily; maybe find some way for him to walk Optimus through the....wait!
A sudden idea struck him like a flash of lightning and he turned to the mech with an ingenious smile, "I have an idea; we could arrange a group date."
The leader gave him a skeptical, almost horrified look. "Humans court each other in groups? That's...so primitive."
Oh God he had to stop himself from laughing at that; he'd probably given the poor Autobt the image of some kind of group love-fest. "No, no, no! It's not what you think. A group date is several couples going out and doing something altogether. It's like an individual date; but with multiple couples. If I arranged for Epps and me to bring my wife and his, maybe even Sam and Mikaela, out for a night, it could give you an excuse to go with Carolina. You'd be on a date, but we'd be there to back you up if you needed help. What do you say?"
There was another long pause from Optimus before he rubbed his face in an almost stressed manner, turning to the soldier with a nod, "I will do what it takes to do things right for her."
Lennox gave a grin as he slid off the storage crate, thumping Optimus' leg supportively.
"Excellent. Okay, I'm going to see if I can try and arrange something; you just leave it with me. I'll see you later." He turned and headed back down the tarmac before the Autobot stopped him.
"Lennox, wait." The soldier in question turned and faced the mech as he stood up, twitching his fingers briefly before speaking again in a much lower, slightly more embarrassed tone, "Thank you."
"No problem Optimus. I'll get it sorted."
With that, he nodded at the Prime with a smile and continued to walk back, reaching into his pocket as he did so.
He pulled out his cell phone and scrolled through his contacts list; landing upon Sarah's number.
Pressing the dial, he raised it to his ear and waited. It only took several rings before he heard his wife's voice on the other end of the line.
"Hey baby," he greeted affectionately with a smile in his voice, "Listen I wanted to ask you something."
There was a pause as he listened to Sarah reply, asking him what it was that he wanted to know. He smiled at the thought of poor Optimus and what he was in for.
"We don't have any plans for Saturday night, do we?"