Your body immediately becomes hot hearing, who you now know as Eren, say the word fate. The word that has been stuck in your head the last three years. You slowly step inside, shutting the door behind you when Jean comes up and places his hand on your shoulder,
"Y/n! You came." He noticed that Eren hasn't removed his eyes from you. He cleared his throat, "This is Eren, Eren this Y/n."
"Y/n." Your name rolls of his tongue, his raspy voice sending unwelcome shivers down your spine, "pleasure to meet you."
"Hm." He rolls his eyes before turning into the kitchen and grabbing a beer out of the fridge. You follow the small entrance that leads to the living room, noticing Connie and Armin with controllers in their hands. Sasha notices you, scooting over to make room for you on the couch.
You slide by the other guests and plop down to the only really familiar face that you knew. Her arm wrapped around you, snuggling into you,
"Glad you're here." You let out a mhm, watching Armin yell at Connie for making them lose the game. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Eren making his way over to the couch. You pray deep down that if God is real he would make sure he would not sit by you.
I guess God didn't listen.
He roughly sits on the opposite side of you, casually drinking his beer and unwrapping candy before plopping it into his mouth. You internally roll your eyes, pulling out your phone to distract yourself from being in a situation again that involves Eren.
"Eren! You haven't met Y/n yet!" Sasha lifts her head momentarily from your chest to speak to him,
"Unfortunately I have." He states,
"Unfortunately is correct." You mumble under your breath. Eren hears you which makes him scoff before taking any swig,
"You guys met?" Sasha asks with curiosity in her voice,
"We met at a gaz-"
"He sits next to me in English." You cut him off. It's not that you didn't want her to know about the gazebo, and as much as your weren't a fan of Eren being there, he was enough to deal with.
"Yeah." He says, "English class."
"Awesome!" She buries her head back into your chest but before long you hear her sniff your jacket, "Did you smoke today or something? You smell like weed."
"Uh, yeah earlier. My bad." You state, hoping she doesn't push anything further. The embarrassment of people knowing you smoked with this shithead next to you not once but twice is not something you need to deal with right now.
"Next time invite me and Connie, girl. We will light you up." She winks at you,
"Yeah. I'll keep that in mind." You notice Eren shifts his attention over to you,
"Well now that we are unfortunately stuck in the same friend group, which is more mine than yours, I have a right for you not to be an annoying little shit."
"I don't think us having mutual friends is a reason for me to start being friends with you." You grab your water off the table and plop the lid open, "I know how desperately you want this blossoming friendship." You joke,
"I think you're seeing shit." He yawns,
"Fortunately for me, it's all over your face."
"I think the decision of us being nothing but strangers is something I'm wishing for, Doll." He stares at you, allowing you to take in his features for longer than you ever attended to, "Sorry, but I can't be friends with people who are only into themselves."
"You don't know shit." You mumble, already regretting your decision of coming to this get together. You try to stand up to leave but Jean comes into the middle of the room,
"UNO time, bitches!" Everyone gets into a circle but sense the circle connected to the couch, you got lucky enough to stay in your spot. Everyone got the number of cards and oooing and aaaing at what cards they had. You had a decent stack, nothing to awesome but basic enough cards that you could stay in for the long run.
Armin turned the first card over in the stack, being a red 8. Mikasa dropped her own red card, and so did Jean, Sasha decided to place a blue 2 on Jean's red 2. It was now your turn.
You look at your stack and notice you have two blues, one yellow, two red, and one plus 4. You place a blue 4 on top, not wanting to reveal what else you had in store.
Yeah, I didn't want to be here. But that isn't going to stop me from winning something simple like an UNO game.
You look over at Eren, as everyone else, and he places a green 4, changing the whole color. You hope that someone switches the color back because you don't have any greens in the pile and you sure in hell do not want to start pulling cards from the stack. You knew that shit was mixed correctly because Connie was the one who shuffled them.
The circle went around again and again to where only a few of us had one card left. And by few of us I mean Eren and I.
"Uno." You state, as you place your second to last card down. You notice Eren smirk before placing is second to last card down as well,
"Unoooo." He sings which makes everyone laugh. The circle goes around again and once it was on Sasha, who kept pulling card out of the stack, Eren leaned down and whispered in your ear,
"Be prepared to pull cards out of the stack. No way in hell are you winning this." You scoff. Knowing that competitiveness runs in your family, it's in your blood. You don't like the fucker which makes this win even more exciting.
"Okay, Y/n, this your chance to end the game or let this shithead next to you win." Connie states. You notice how Eren still seems very confident in the result he thinks is going to happen, but everyone gasps once you place your card down.
A plus 4.
"Good game, champs." You say, standing up. Eren's jaw is dropped as everyone laughs and cheers you on. You liked hanging out with them. You liked it a lot. But it's gotten to the point of the night where your alone time has started to kick in, "Heading to bed. Later."
You turn the doorknob and take a step outside. The walk wasn't bad to your apartment since it was only downstairs. You go to take a step but you hear a door slam shut behind you. You notice Eren is standing there, holding your water bottle,
"Forgot your water bottle, stupid." He walks over to you, spinning the bottle on his finger. You pinch the bridge of your nose, not interested in keeping the conversation going,
"Thanks." You grab it and start making your way down the stairs,
"Wait." Fuck, he just can't get enough of you. You annoyingly turn around facing him as he is still at the top of the stairs, "Where are you going?"
"To bed? Did you not hear me announce it to the whole room?" You tried to keep your composure, to be at least nice, so no problems arise but he just kept following you around like a lost puppy.
"Why do you have some weird ass facade going on?" You furrow your brows in confusion. Facade? The fuck is he yapping about? You grab onto the railing with your free hand,
"Now, now. Does any of that concern you, Jaeger? Just let a woman be happy." You joke, well pretend to joke. He is already snooping in your business and is way too nosy for his own good,
"Just know I see right through that shit. I've noticed at the gazebo that your eyes become, I don't know, softer." He sits on the step, "Well before I come along, at least."
"You want me to be honest?" You say. His eyes sort of light up but you're probably seeing stuff because of the lighting,
"Be my guest."
"You're seeing shit." You fake smile, "Per usual."
"Stop acting like-"
"Like what? You don't know me. You don't know anything about me, Eren." You let go of the railing while rubbing your temples,
"Fuck then. Let's just keep it that way. Bossy ass." You notice another shadow appear at the top of the level,
"Eren? Y/n?" Mikasa stands at the top of the staircase, her eyes locking onto Eren's, "What are you guys doing?"
"Sleeping. Goodbye." You take your final farewell and walk into apartment. Dropping your water bottle off at the counter. Your body immediately sinks into your bed, allowing it to fully consume you. If you didn't have responsibilities you would stay in your bed forever.
The next morning you have two classes. Chemistry with Prof Hange and History with Prof Smith. Not eager for either. You throw your usual fit on before snagging a granola bar out of the cabinet and walking out the door.
You remember Sasha saying her first class was at 8, and looking at my phone that was two hours ago so she's either out or still in class. You recently have been, craving, your bond with Sasha. The way she treats you like she's known you her life shoots hope throughout your body, for no particular reason.
The way she snuggles into your shoulder, leaves you food or even fills your water bottle for you fill you with a feeling you haven't felt in years.
Comfort.
You enter the science building hoping the look for Hange's class isn't hard. You follow the signs that were plastered on the walls until you were finally fronted with a lab room, being filled with students. You take a step in and notice your browned hair teacher, talking to student, while jumping up and down?
Your eyes scan the class and you notice an empty seat near the back. You take it as a hint that this is where you are supposed to sit. You pull out your notebooks and pencils when someone comes up besides you,
"Y/n?"
"Armin?" You are surprised to see him a beginner lesson for chemistry, knowing that he is the intelligent one out of the group. He smiles and motion to sit down in the chair next to me, "Go ahead."
"I didn't expect you to be in this class." He takes the pencil that was behind his ear before resting his head on the palm of his hand,
"I didn't take Chem my freshman year." You notice how interested he becomes in your words. Almost like he genuinely cared about what your life was before Eldia, "So yeah, here I am."
"Biology is way better than chemistry, I must say. That's why I'm also in here. I realized I can't just get all my science credits from bio related classes." You nod your head reminding him that you are now the one listening, "But it'll be fun, especially since I know a friendly face in here."
"Hm."
"Well... you will become more friendlier. Promise." He held his pinky and you naturally reach out and connect pinkies, not even realizing what you were doing, "That's a good start."
"Yeah, yeah." You mumbled which makes him chuckle. Why does everyone in this God forsaken group push so hard to be your friend? They have made it their life goal to get you out of this so called 'facade'.
But... why do you like it?
Class goes on and you come to realize this teacher MIGHT have done a line of coke before her lesson. bouncing off walls, throwing her arms in the air, and even writing things not even related to what we were talking about on the board.
Occasionally, Armin would tap his knee to yours, making sure you were still coherent during the lesson. We even played a few games of tic tac toe, which he won all but one. Probably because he uses strategical thinking on everything.
The bell rang and you got a notification on your phone telling you that Prof Smith has cancelled his class for a family emergency and will send his syllabus out before the day ends.
You take this time to take your time walking about the complex. Half way there you notice how you have never been to the gazebo during the day time and since you have nothing else to do, you might as well go and check it out.
Walking down the trail which is now lit by sunlight, you notice all the little things you haven't seen before. How there are only two footprints in the dry dirt, one being your own and the other probably being the shitheads who won't leave you alone.
There was a small bird house hanging in the tree and a little bird family hanging out there. It's probably those little birdies safe spaces, somewhere to protect and love their family.
You make your way out of the trees and the closer you got to the gazebo, you see a floppy man bun facing the lake, while smoke rising from above. You didn't want to deal with him, but something was urging you to go closer.
And you followed that feeling.
Stepping on the ramp, the wooden boards creek under your feet catching the attention of Eren. No words were spoken but he moved over, making room for you to sit.
You lay your head in your arms. Taking in the scent of outdoors and the hint of weed coming from your side. For once, he didnt speak a word. You could barely hear him breathe. You try to secretly take a look at him, seeing if there was any sort of emotion on his face but all you could see was him zoning out into the distance,
"Now I understand why all you do is stare out here when you come here." Eren mirrored your actions. Placing his face on his arms, his green eyes scanning the area like a kid in the candy store,
"Yeah." Is all you say. You guys sit in comfortable silence for awhile, which is odd. You haven't had a calm moment with Eren since you've met him. And you enjoyed it. But you would never have the courage to fully admit that,
"Doll."
"Please stop calling me that." You moan. He turns his head to face you. His nose slightly scrunches before he takes a breath,
"How do you do it?" He asks.
"Do what?"
"Be mysterious." His eyes fixated on yours? "You hide yourself so well that one point I might just actually believe you."
"Who said I cared about you believing me?" You can tell he is starting to get irritated with you not fully answering his questions. The one thing Eren hated was vagueness,
"Are you even capable of not being annoying?" You can't help but laugh,
"Every time you talk to me you tend to spurt bullshit out of your mouth. Why are you this? Why are you that?" You sit up straight, throwing your head back, "The real question is why do you care so much about who I am? What I do?"
"I-"
"If I wanted people to know my lore, I would fucking air it out." You sigh, out of defeated. You thought, deep down, maybe Eren would get the hint and stop pushing you about it. But he wouldn't,
"Well fuck me for trying to make you feel welcomed" he muttered,
"I don't need help to feel welcomed!" You feel yourself lose control. Taking deep breaths, you tune and face him once again,
"If Sasha wouldn't have brought you into the group, I doubt any of us would have liked you. You are just being selfish." His comment caught you off guard. You tilt your head to the side in pure confusion, "You're just some bitch that thinks she's tough shit and let me tell you, you aren't. You come to MY spot and try to bitch ME around. Know your place."
"Know your place is insane." You say in between an angered laughed,
"Tsk." Is all that comes out of his mouth,
"How the fuck was I suppose to know you would have been so damn territorial over a damn wooded structure?"
"Just from the few interactions I've unfortunately have had with you I can just tell you were constantly by yourself because no one would put up your shit. You're an adult. Get your shit together." Eren rolls his eyes, "Maybe if you didn't fucking snoop around in the woods like some sicko."
"Then what the fuck does that make you? Weren't you just yapping about how this is your spot?" You stand up becoming tired of his shit very quickly but all he does is laugh.
He fucking laughs.
"Just don't come back here. I'm not gonna deal with a hormonal woman." You noticeably stomp off the gazebo, heading towards the path that led you there. His words...hurt. More than they were supposed to. He barely fucking knew you!
You don't even remember how you got back to your apartment but the moment the door shut behind you, you fell to the ground. Back sliding down the door as your hands covers your face.
In and out. In and out. In and out.
You weren't sure what came over you, more of you weren't sure why his words struck more. Maybe it's because that is all you heard growing up, how selfish you are, how you have always been too much to take care of.
Some even say that's why he left.
You once again feel the warm liquid running down your cheeks, your nose becomes stuffy, and every time you open your eyes it's blurry. This was a mistake, coming here to Eldia. He was suppose to be here with you, living out his dream of becoming a teacher. He always talked about how the best part of being apart of education is helping others to learn.
You promised yourself that no matter what happens in your life, you would never let someone take his spot. He was something so rare in the world that people begged to have. And you were just lucky to have that, even if it was for a short amount of time.
"I am selfish." You whisper to yourself,
"Y/n?" You don't even notice Sasha say your name as she rubs her eyes. She leans down and does the thing she does best. Holds you, holds you like you aren't some random roommate she just met. And you just let it out. Something you haven't dared to do since that day, "What's going on?"
"I-i can't." You mutter in between your sobs. You hear her lightly sigh before helping you and guiding you to your room. She takes off your jacket, carefully hanging it on the bed post at the end of your bed. You slide under the covers and she follows behind. Sasha holds you, big spoons you. And the feeling of comfort, the feeling of being safe is all you feel, "It's my fault that he's gone. If I didn't text him to come over he wouldn't have even gotten in the car to begin with! I'm so selfish."
"Shh." She brushes her fingers through your hair, "I'm here. Do you want to talk about it?"
"Why do you care so much about me?" You whine, "You barely know me, fuck all I have been to you is an inconsiderate bitch and you still make sure at the end of the day i'm okay!"
"You don't get it, do you?" Her soft laugh makes you turn around to face her, "I can see through you, Y/n. I know this act isn't you, but I know it isn't my place to get you out of it. Believe it or not, I care about you. You haven't been a bitch, or mean, for that matter, you have just kept to yourself which is something I would never use against you."
You release the breath you didn't even know you were holding,
"I came here for a fresh start. I came here because he wanted to come here and get his stupid degree and do what he does best." She takes her finger and brushes the tears that are falling off your cheek, "Now I have to not only fulfill my part, but his too."
"That isn't your responsibility, Y/n. Live your own life, make your own choices. You already made the big step of coming here and moving away from your family, all you have to do is keep pushing." Your eyes look up to find hers which haven't left your face once,
"He called me selfish, told me I was just some loser who sat in the corner begging for someone to come and save me," Her brows furrow, "And... and he was right."
"Who? Your friend?" She says as a whisper,
"No." You contemplate for a second wondering if you should even tell her who actually told you that. But when you stare at her, the girl that takes the time out of her day for you, you realize maybe opening up to one single person wouldn't affect you as much as your brain thinks so, "Jaeger."
"Eren?" She questions. A bunch of emotions running throughout her face as she tries to think of a time where you and Eren even had alone time to talk, "Why-why would he say that about you?"
"Don't know." You take the step to bury your head into her chest as her arms wrap around you, "And I don't care about finding out. You are the only friend I need."
"See? Told you we would be the bestest friends." You let out a giggle which makes her lean down and plant a kiss on your forehead,
"Please... please don't tell anyone about this."
"I told you that your girl boss act would be safe with me." And that's the last thing you remember before letting the heaviness of your eyes takes over.
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
"Wakey, wakey lovebirds!" Your eyes widen when you see Connie and Jean standing in the door frame of your room, you also feel an arm wrapped around you which belongs to Sasha, "The party is in a few hours so we gots to get up and eat."
"Out." You say, grabbing the pillow Sasha's head is resting on and throw it at the two boys who let out a little giggle,
"So, Miss Y/n isn't a morning person. Got it." You feel Sasha sit up, using the backboard to rest her head on it. The boys come over and sit down on the end before pulling out there phones,
"Late lunch at the coffee shop on campus." Jean states, "You girls coming?"
"Mhm." Sasha gets out. You shoo the boys out of the room before standing up and grabbing a pair of clean clothes. Sasha comes up to and grabs your shoulders, "You doing alright?"
"Yeah. Thanks for, you know, last night."
"No worries! You are a comfortable pillow." She drags herself out of your room mid yawn and carefully shuts it behind her. You take this time to look at yourself in the mirror, your eyes are a bit swollen and you have stains on your cheeks from the sob fest you did.
A shoot of embarrassment runs through you for allowing a single soul to see you like that. But her soul is pure, she deserves for me to be just as kind to her as she is to me, even if that goes against the promise.
You quickly change, run a brush through your hair, and grab your phone off the charger before opening the door to see the three of them messing around in the kitchen. You notice all of them look at you with a smile on their face before motioning you out the front door.
"So, uh, where are we going?" You ask, arm being tugged on by Connie,
"Hugs & Mugs. Cute little coffee shop." Jean says, following close behind you, "You know, Y/n, I think this is the first time i've seen you ask in sort of question."
"Don't get use to it." You mutter with a slight smile on your face. You guys arrive at the locally owned coffee shop and when you scan the inside you see some of the other friends. Armin, Reiner, Mikasa, Eren, and a short blonde girl with bright blue eyes.
You quietly follow behind Sasha and find a seat next to her, at the end of the table. The blonde girl scans your face and plasters a bright smile on her face,
"Hi! You must be Y/n!" She comes over and hugs you which you awkwardly tap her back, "I'm Historia!"
"Hi." Your eyes follow over to the table, everyone seems to be engaged in talk, all but one. Eren's eyes meet yours but for a very short moment. Historia untangles herself from you before dragging you to the table, "Oh-okay wait-"
"Let me get you your coffee! What would you like? She beams,
"Um, a chai is fine. Thanks." You fall into your seat and pull your phone out looking at past notifications,
Mom
Can you call when you get a chance?
You sigh, hoping that once you left Trost, your parents would leave you alone. You know only calling your mom would lead to a fight that is pointless and honestly you just do not have the energy to listen to her doubt you.
Historia comes by and places your drink in front of you. The sweet smell of the cinnamon runs through your nose,
"So! Tell me about yourself." Historia asks, taking a sip of her own drink. You shift in your seat becoming uncomfortable with her question,
"Not much to say. I'm a sophomore at Eldia." You give her the most blunt answer, which makes her laugh,
"So are we! You seem like a sweet girl." You feel your cheeks heat up by her compliment but it completely goes away when Eren slides into the chair next to Historia,
"Get to know her first and then your opinion will change." His eyes find yours and that stupid smirk appears,
"Wa wa wa." You pretend to whine. You pick up your drink and press it against your lips,
"We got a funny one in here." Eren jokes. You roll your eyes as you notice Mikasa staring from the other end of the table, not thinking much about it,
"Hm."
"Drink your coffee and shut up." A smirk fills your face as you nod forward before taking another sip. The rest of the lunch goes by rather quickly and before you know it, you are back in your room while Sasha salvages through your closet,
"Ooo, this one would make you look so good." She holds up a small black dress that you only wore once for a very short time. You throw your head back and moan, "What?"
"Why can't I wear a damn hoodie? You know i'm not the type to-"
"Listen." She throws the dress on the bed, "You can wear the dress and bring a hoodie in the bag with you, deal?"
"But-"
"Uh! No buts!" You sigh as you admit your defeat. Sasha goes into the bathroom, giving you time to change. The clothes fall off your body while you pick up the dress on your bed. You slip on the small straps to your body, afraid to turn around,
"Wow, Y/n." You turn over your shoulder and see Jean, staring at your figure, his eyes seeming more hungry then ever, "You look amazing."
"Hm, thanks." You throw your shoes on before cautiously walking past Jean, as his stare never left you.
"Lets go! We are going to be late!" Sasha grabs your arm tugging you out the door and into her car with Connie and Jean.
And half way there, you realize you forgot to bring your hoodie.