Tonya heard her nan knocking on her bedroom door.
"Can I come in sweetheart?"
Without waiting for a response she came in and sat on the edge of the bed. She looked serious, her face slightly harder than normal.
"Your mum's just gone, she left a birthday present for you."
Tonya was trying - unsuccessfully - to pretend it wasn't her sixteenth birthday. When they'd got back from the caravan she had persuaded her Nan to let her stay with her and her mum had reluctantly agreed. Their argument was left unresolved, despite Ruby regularly coming over to the flat to try and speak to her.
"Listen, sweetheart, I know it's your birthday but we need to talk. I've been patient with you. I've let you stay here for nearly a month now, and I'm so grateful for all the help you've given me with your grandad."
Tonya's grandfather had come out of hospital. He was now in a wheelchair and was still suffering from long-term memory loss brought on by his stroke. Tonya had kept herself busy helping her nan with her granddad in the evenings, desperately trying to block out the world, busying herself with the piles of never-ending schoolwork.
"Ton, please, don't you think it's about time you faced up to all this and sorted stuff out with your mum? Its your sixteenth, you shouldn't be hiding away in your old nans house for goodness sake."
Tonya didn't know what to say, she stretched her t-shirt over her knees and tried to make her body as small as it could go. Her nan continued without waiting for a response.
"Look, I know you're angry, and I'm not going to pry, I'm sure you've got your own reasons, but she asked me to try and persuade you to go over tomorrow. She said Tyler won't be there, it will just be you and her. So, you can talk. She's desperate to make it up, sweetheart. Life's too short to hold grudges, darlin', just look at your poor grandad."
Tonya picked at the skin around her fingers. Vish kept telling her to tell her mum the truth about what he did that day – for the baby if she wasn't going to do it for herself – but what about the eye? How was she going to tell her about what happened to Tyler's eye? What if Ruby blamed her? What if Tyler said she was a liar and her mum didn't believe her? What if she'd left it too late?
Birdie interrupted her thoughts "Look, I know you said you were going to stay at Diya's tomorrow right? Well, why not pop over to your mums first."
Tonya felt her insides flip with guilt. She was actually going to see Vish. On the weekends she would bunk the train and go and visit him in secret. It was her favourite time. They would hang out kissing by the side of the arcades or mess about on his bike along the beach.
She'd been telling her nan she was staying at Diya's as she didn't know how she would feel about her staying the night at a boy's house or going up to the caravan so much. Vish's mum was super strict and Tonya wasn't allowed in Vish's room at night anymore anyway, but still, she worried her nan wouldn't let her go, so it has become easier just to lie about going to Diya's.
Vish said that she should tell her mum the truth about what he did that day – for the baby if she wasn't going to do it for herself – but what about the eye? How was she going to tell her about what happened to Tyler's eye? What if Ruby blamed her? What if Tyler said she was a liar and her mum didn't believe her? What if she'd left it too late?
Birdie raised her voice. "Tonya, are you even listening to me?"
Tonya nodded reluctantly. "Yes, sorry Nan. I am, and you're right, I'll go tomorrow, I promise."
The following day Tonya walked slowly through the pouring rain back to her mum's flat, trying to work out how best to avoid telling her that Tyler had attacked her. The winds howled into her face and the lampposts seemed to swing in the high winds. She couldn't walk the normal route as London had really bad flooding the past few months and loads of roads had been cornered off.
Tonya could hear Tamashi in the wind, travelling with her on her shoulder. It comforted her to know she was there. The pair had grown very close over the last month. She had brought the fan back to her nan's and they would lie in bed most nights, whispering to each other in the dark. She spoke to her about everything and listened as Tamashi told her stories about her family and her life in the sky.
Tamashi had confessed to her how she had fallen for an Incubus called Rupa, and how they had shared a first kiss before she had discovered her father murdered her baba just before she had fallen to Earth.
She talked about her little sister, Muku, who she called Moo. She told Tonya how good Moo had got at making things with the fibre after their baba had died and about how Moo had a woollen bear called Tangles that used to belong to their baba. She explained how after he died she tied the bear onto a ropey belt around her waist and refused to take it off, insisting Tangles would keep her safe, as that was the last thing their baba said to them.
Soaking wet, Tonya finally arrived on the communal walkway. She dragged her heels towards her mum's door, her heart quickening. It had only been a month, but it felt strange to see the same old lady smoking her cigarette on the end of the balcony. Tonya felt like so much had happened to her since she'd last seen the old lady, it felt odd to her that she was still wearing her trademark slippers and dressing gown, staring out into the night sky as she always did.
Winds from the storm howled loudly along the balcony, the trapped wind ran along the pathway and Tamashi's whistles and electrical sparks suddenly came through the air, making Tonya jump. Three panicked staccato words whispered into Tonya's ear.
"Look. Over. There."
Looking out at the skyline Tonya gasped. It was as though someone had hit the pause button as the sounds of the city fell silent. The far-off lull of traffic, the sirens, barking dogs and the rain that was hammering against the concrete walls of the estate were suddenly muted.
She stood mesmerised, staring out at the skyline. For there, as clear as day, hung -what looked like- thousands if not millions of lines of white threads, dangling for miles across the sky. They sparkled against the moon, shining out. It was a beautiful sight to behold.
Tonya looked at the old lady at the end of the balcony, stabbing out her cigarette against the railing, apparently completely oblivious to the fact that the sky was now awash with sparkling threads that were blowing back and forth in the stormy sky above.
Taking out her phone Tonya called Vish, but he didn't answer. She sent him a text. "Vish, you're not going to believe this, but.. well.. I can see hundreds, no thousands of threads coming down from the clouds in the sky, please just call me when you get this."
She took one last look at her mum's front door. She knew she'd be inside, waiting for her, but this couldn't wait. She needed answers and something told her they would be at the end of these strange threads hanging in the sky. So, she turned and ran back past the old lady, and down the stairs, past the bins at the back of the estate that she had hidden behind all those weeks ago.
She ran through the rain up to the train station, where a row of street bikes sat in the dripping wet. She paid for one of the bikes at the machine and cycled through the night.
The city lights blurred together into neon streaks as she sped towards the closest thread. The wind whistled through her hair as she cycled through the blinding rain. The night life of the city – buses, taxis, shift workers, drunks, runners, cyclists, homeless people huddled in doorways, shivering wet in their cardboard sleeping bags – all flashed by.
She headed for the thread that seemed the closest. As she cycled, she realised it wasn't as nearby as she'd first thought, and the cycle was taking her deeper into the city. Up the roads, on the pavements, through pathways, she had no idea where she was going. Her eye was fixed on the closest thread, and she wasn't going to lose sight.
Tamashi's whistle rode with her through the night, but she couldn't work out any words.
Finally, Tonya arrived at a huge green park in the very centre of London. A circus was erected in the middle. She called out for Tamashi but she couldn't hear her anymore.
Tonya looked up in wonder, for behind a big top tent a huge Ferris wheel arched into the sky. Through the stillness of the swinging chairs she could see the thread up close now. Straining her eyes to see it clearly, she noticed that it wasn't a single piece of thread at all. It was actually a ladder made from what looked like layers of thick white rope. It fell from high up inside the clouds and dropped straight down into the circus.
Huge metal gates surrounded the circus and there was a park security guard patrolling the perimeter. A large sign clearly stated that the circus was completely closed due to weather conditions. Thick yellow and black tape wrapped around the gates, with large red DANGER signs hammered into the ground.
After she walked all the way around the barriers, Tonya noticed that the entrances were totally roped off the entire way round. The only way in would be to climb the silver entrance or exit gates, but that seemed impossible because they were too high.
She still couldn't hear Tamashi, despite calling out to her. She determined that perhaps the rain was too loud to hear whistles. The storm didn't give up pace and lightning bolts shot white sparks of energy through the city sky.
Suddenly Tonya noticed a large tree, right next to one of the railings. Its branches jutted out at all angles, and she guessed it had been climbed by hundreds of children over the years. It was the perfect entry.
Clambering up it, Tonya pulled herself higher and higher so she could see inside the grounds. She gasped in disbelief, gripping the branch above her, opening and closing her eyes. Inside she saw thousands of little waves – like tiny bolts of lightning – reverberating in the sky around the ladder.
Watching in awe, Tonya watched as the ladders in the sky began to break away, threads of white rope tore in the winds, huge particles of fibre were carried away in the storm. Trillions of sparks of electricity began to cover the floor of the circus like a field of fireflies. Could it be possible that these sparks were more Samsara, more spirits just like Tamashi?
She wished for this, knowing how much Tamashi longed for her own kind again. She imagined what Tamashi would be feeling like if this really was a ladder from her City. Could there be a chance that her mum was coming down?
It suddenly hit her how much of an idiot she had been. Tamashi was completely alone in the world, and she longed to see her mum more than anything, but she couldn't, as she had literally fallen out the sky and lost her family forever. Tonya had a mum, a mum who loved her so much and she had kept so many secrets from her and she was just around the corner. She felt so stupid.
"Tamashi" she yelled out into the sky, are you there?
No response came back. Suddenly she noticed how the rain had soaked through to her skin and she shuddered in the cold. She thought about her mum how she was meant to be with her right now, how much she missed her, how much she wanted to hug her. How much everything had changed since she saw that spark in the sky by the chicken shop and met Tamashi.
She closed her eyes, wishing that she had never met Tamashi and wishing that Tyler had never come into their lives.
Tonya climbed down the tree, found the bike and took one look back at the sky, now empty of ladders. She shuddered, coming to her senses that she was alone in a London stormy park in the night. What was she even doing? She was no closer to any answers.
A dark thought crept into her mind. What if this was her chance to get rid of Tamashi? If she left now then maybe she could put this behind her, move on with her life. She didn't want to see ladders in the sky, or hear voices in the wind, she never asked for any of this.
It was late, too late to go over to her mum's now. Sheltering under one of the trees huge branches she got out her phone and messaged Ruby for the first time that month.
"Mum, sorry, I was coming over tonight but something came up. Can I come tomorrow after school? Will it be just us?"
Her mum text back almost immediately.
"Yes, of course, just us, l love you darling xxx."
Tonya called out for Tamashi, but after hearing no response, she decided to leave her, perhaps this was the end, perhaps this was her moment to put this all behind her.
"I want help" she said out loud into the storm.
She cycled back to her nan's, pedalling hard and fast, back through the city, leaving the circus and Tamashi behind.
Her nan was right, it was time to see her mum. She decided it was time to be honest.
No more lies.
Time to tell Ruby the truth about what Tyler did to her that day, time to tell her about hearing a voice in the wind, and tell her about the hair grip, and that she has a boyfriend called Vishnu and that she can saw huge ladders made of rope falling through the sky. She wanted to stop hiding from her mum and be honest about everything, she didn't want to keep secrets anymore.