Uyir's POV.
After talking with mii.... I understand one thing very clearly.... That it's not only me who have problems in life....
When something bad happens to us it feels like why it happens to me only...when we look around we realize it's not only us who is in that race........
Because the later small conversation with the ladies taught me that..... If I see from outside all my family members all the couple have a perfect happy and dreamy life.... But when you look into it there is lot of inner battles they fought with each other and together too...
I don't know what I exactly feel now about Dev.... Yeah I couldn't forget what he said... I won't say... I can't forgive him.. When I clearly know that I will give in when he genuinely asked a simple sorry....
Thats what I am when it comes to him.... I don't have to compare with anyone... Like would I say the same if someone else said something like that to me...
That question itself baseless....because no other person can say such words to me...even if they did... I won't be this much hurt....
Words do have more power but the impact of those words depends on the person who said it....
The would is deep now only because it's my Dev who said my love is fake and I slept with him for him to meet his parents...
That sentence itself utter foolishness... If it was said by someone else I would have broke there bones and those words would have already left my thoughts....
Unlike now which is resonating in my mind again and again keeping the wound fresh... Just because it's Dev who said it........
I might have shouted or even slapped him if I again saw him and confront him yesterday itself..... But now after all those thinking.... I couldn't do that now....
I directly came to my house from beach.... My house where my husband now my in laws live.....
I don't believe in being away and ignore him like he doesn't exist for me to make him realize his fault and punish him....
My silence weren't something new for him because silence is my nature....
If I stay back in my parents house in the name of punishing him with my ignorance is not only going to affect him.... Instead it also a form of punishment I am giving myself and what is my parents fault why should I make them worried for me...
No matter how much they support me or love me..... After marriage a women come back to her home without her husband and stays there...... That will surely make her parents worry.... They can be silent for may be two to Three days.... If it's more than that... They will surely ask her and try to know what happened.... That's the reality.....
I am not a saint to forgive him too.... But I am incapable of seeing him in pain..... Keeping him away from me is a punishment I give to myself... What is my fault... Why should I endure that punishment... That simply don't work for me.....
I am just talking about me and my Dev.... I don't have to give him any lecture about who I am... What is my place in his life... He knows better than me.....
Yes what he said was unacceptable....but it's not unforgivable one..... I know after realizing what he said... He would be the one who is more hurt than me..... I can surely say that by this time that guy would have already started bashing him.....
It's not like I won't say anything and directly accept his apologies and hug him once I see him......
I am just making my point clear that... I am already convinced myself to forgive him.. And I don't want to pull up a big lengthy drama by making him beg me for forgiveness...... I don't need that... That's unnecessary for me...
If I want to be the Queen then I have to treat him as my king not as slave...
When I entered the house I expected Attha and mama first but no one was there in hall... Hearing sounds from our room I moved towards there...
Athhai was asking mama why Dev keeping my picture as wallpaper... He was struggling to find words.. May be he was worried about her reaction...
I couldn't stop myself from answering her in behalf of him..
"Because I am his Wife attha"
She looked at me then Mama.. He nodded his head positively...
She chuckled with pain and disappointment...
"How fortunate mother I am..... I wasn't there at any of my son's special moments even his marriage...I am a bad mother........ "
She sat on the chair... Her face showed her pain...
I kneeled in front of her and took her hand in mine... She looked down at me....
"Don't blame yourself for anything Aatha... No one is at fault... If you want you can blame the fate....
About misfortunes.... It's not only you who suffered... That's the fact.... If you think you are misfortunate.... Then what would you say about your mother..... Who died without knowing that her first son was right in front her and she actually gave birth to a daughter and she was alive.... What about your father who lived like a corpse after his wife's death.... Searching his first son then losing the adopted son... And couldn't say to anyone and openly shower love to his 3rd son........ Most importantly died without knowing that he actually have a daughter...... Don't ask about your brothers misfortunes...
The list is vast Aathai... Nothing going to change by thinking and blaming ourselves.... It's done... Accept that and hope for a better future....
You know I actually don't speak much.... See now you are making me give you long advice... "
I said the last sentences deliberately to lift up her mood a little... That did worked... She smiled at me... And cupped my face and kissed my forehead...
"Indeed my son is lucky to have you ad his wife"
I just smiled at her....
"Mama... Take atthai downstairs for breakfast.... Dev won't eat this much early on holidays... I will come later "
He nodded his head...
"Let's go Devaki.... You need to take your morning tablets too... "...
She pouted at him..
" Please gha.... Lets skip those bitter tablets today..."
She said in pleading tone... He shook his head negatively....
"I am not giving in for that... Let's go"
With sulking face she moved out of the room Mama followed her.... But he came back again...
"I don't know exactly what problem between you and Dev ma....
All I could say is please forgive him of you could..... He is still a child a child.... He would spill words he doesn't mean in anger later on isolates himself and blame himself for that instead of trying to resolve it....
He loved hide and seek from childhood....... That's why he wad doing the same....
Once you pull him out of the shell he would surrender to you"
I was indeed surprised how he found out there is a problem... He answered my un asked question....
"I saw you running behind Dev while all others concentration was on Devaki.... And I couldn't find you anywhere after that..... You didn't came here yesterday.... And this guy's reaction doesn't seemed right... "
I just took a deep breath and nod at him.... He smiled...
"Don't sleep inside the bathroom Dev..... Stop your hiding game at least from your wife.... "
He shouted so that Dev could hear....
"These are those times that I would fell bad that my son doesn't took none of my characters...."
He said me and moved out.... I heard him muttering...
"Ungala mariye pulla venum nu anaiku ava sonapove sutharichirukanum...... Ivan pakka mattum tha ena mari irupan nu... "
(I should have been aleart when she said that she wants son just like me....that guy only looks like me now...except that nothing is similar...)
I couldn't help but chuckle at that..... Rightly when mama left closing the door......I heard bathroom door opening sound.........
Author's note...
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