The night drifted on, time hidden within the smoke of a few burnt out candles and the dim light of the room. The stinging smell of each curled at the edge of my nose and teased my aching eyes. Sebastian urged me to eat a few bites of the sandwich he had brought and even cut a few slices of pear for us to share before cuddling back against each other. I wished the moments would pause, I wished them to freeze among the stars so if only I could rest awhile. With him. Yet, time didn't heed my wishes and if I listened close enough, I could almost hear the faint ticking of seconds like the clicks of a pocket watch. So I nestled my ear further into Sebastian's chest, hoping to drown out time with his heartbeat.
The longer we stayed, the darker the room became as if the Room itself was winding down to sleep, though neither of us felt compelled enough to move from the chair. Even when my limbs began to tingle and my hip to ache. Despite our bodies protests, our hearts were content to rest against the other's. Their gentle pounding only beating faster as a familiar spark twisted between the beats seeming to all at once register their proximity.
I was sure Sebastian could feel it too by the shuddered way his chest rose and fell in tattered rhythm with mine.
His skin warm beneath my palms, I let my fingertips trail along his shirt-line and dip beneath the edge as if to pull the heat into my blood.
His breathy whisper tickled the tip of my ear. "Atley..."
My ribs felt as though they might be made of solid gold, heavy over my lungs, but I turned my chin up to him once more. Even through the dim flickering light, it was hard to keep my breathing steady as my eyes landed on his, the deep browns flicking voraciously over my lips.
"Atley?" He repeated though this time his whisper tickled something in my stomach, flicking over tiny pebbles that sprouted wings and flung themselves against their cage.
Trailing my fingertips up his neck I watched in wonder as the spark behind his eyes flashed and I pulled my body along with it until my legs were hooked over his waist and the loose strands of my braid hung low, framing his jawline.
My eyes darted of their own accord from one of his to the other and then down to the swell of his lips that parted ever so gently to me.
I leaned gradually forward, the spark and winged pebbles now wreaking havoc inside.
It wasn't as if I'd never kissed him before, but something felt different now.
Something ached different than it had before.
Perhaps it was a ticking clock of its own, counting down what moments we might have left.
Just as quickly as they had come, the negative thoughts were drowned in his breaths and I leaned ever closer.
Sebastian's eyelids hung heavy and low over his cry-swollen eyes, his neck arched and chin pressed up to mine in anticipation.
The third time he called my name, it came out little more than broken syllables and I tied my tongue with his. Words tethered to satisfied hums.
The kiss, though starved, wound slowly.
The gravity of the days past hung at the corners of my eyes, salted and weighty.
His lips tied ribbons of my loosened thoughts.
Sebastian's fingers pulled at my sweater at my hips, tugging me impossibly closer and then curving along my cheeks to deepen the kiss. His teeth grazed over my bottom lip before pressing down and nipping at it softly. My head spun, my cheeks heated and I hummed happily.
Sebastian smiled into the kiss.
He bit my lip again and pulled it gently away until my breath caught in my throat and he dove back into the kiss. My body began to tingle and I threaded my fingers deeper in his hair. Over and over our kisses wound in circles until it seemed I was panting heavily between each, fighting to keep my lungs in working order.
Fighting to swallow my emotions and tears.
But then his lips pulled back and his hooded, lustful eyes dragged over my face. His thumb ghosted my cheek and brushed over my lips, wiping away a thousand unspilt kisses.
"You need sleep." His voice like gravel.
My heart screamed for more but my body ached for less and I cursed him for being right.
I groaned and tucked my nose to his neck, his arms instinctually wrapped around my waist.
"I need more of you though too." I mumbled to his skin.
I could feel the way he smiled.
I pulled my hips lower over his waist and he groaned.
"Careful Barlowe."
Another deep breath.
"I'm serious." He pulled my head back carefully and the passion in his eyes now wound around a heaviness all too familiar. "You- So much has happened lately. I want you-" He bit his lip. "-but I want the you that isn't fighting back tears between kisses."
My heart thudded with the gentle press of his lips to my nose.
"Besides," He grinned. "Can't let all that kissing go to your head now can we? You'll start to think you're the better kisser of the two of us."
I giggled. "How does that even make sen-"
His warm pointer finger jammed against my lips and I had to resist the urge to bite it.
"Just trust me Barlowe."
And so I let go,
despite the burning pit low in my stomach,
despite the ache to burn a memory of his lips to mine,
despite how much I wanted to throw away reservations and dive head first...
it wasn't fair to give him my heart when I could barely hold the pieces together on my own.
Sebastian was right.
I just need a little more time.
I curled around the warmth of his body and felt the pulse of my kiss-swollen lips. Sebastian's hand rubbed up and down my back, allowing me to melt into him once more.
Sleep, it seemed, had been waiting just behind my eyelids.
Right as I began to drift off, Sebastian's voice hummed against my chest.
"Atley?"
Words felt heavy and difficult. "Hmm?"
A minute's pause and I almost fell asleep to the silence.
"...I love you."
----
Morning crept in with the hoot of a distant owl and a strong brush of cedar wood against the tip of my nose.
Sebastian had already been awake, rubbing his fingers gently through my hair and while I hummed at his touch, I couldn't help but notice how dark the circles were below his eyes. When I had asked him if he'd slept, he'd assured me that he had, but I wasn't so sure I believed it. Before I had had a chance to question him further though, Sebastian's stomach had very rudely interrupted with a loud gurgle.
"Time to tick off that list Barlowe."
First up was breakfast, which Sebastian reminded me at least twice was the most important meal of the day.
I hadn't much felt like joining all the other students in the great hall so we'd instead stopped by the kitchens.
The house elves were all busy at work, mixing cauldrons and bowls full of porridge, arranging plates of fruits and biscuits on the large tables and squeezing fresh orange juice into pitchers.
Guilt settled in my gut. I didn't want to interrupt them like this. I wasn't more important than the hundreds of other students waiting in the great hall so I tugged on Sebastian's shirt.
He eyed me curiously but before I could open my lips to suggest we come back later, a small blur of something over his shoulder drew my attention. The little smudge was rapidly sprinting toward the door and I pushed Sebastian's chest at the last moment to move him out of the way. The little thing turned out to be a rather scraggly looking house elf with a bandage over one side of its head where an ear ought to be. Its long nose hooked down towards its lips and beady blue eyes flicked to mine for only a moment as it passed. The house elf's boney fingers wound tight around a steaming black tea pot and I wondered how on earth it wasn't getting burnt.
Something crashed and shattered from inside the kitchens.
My attention snapped back into the room to find another small house elf holding yet another steaming teapot in one hand though this one was wrapped in a small towel.
Tooby beamed up at me with wide eyes and an even wider smile as he stood frozen in place. A few of the other house elves watched him curiously as they worked and one of them waddled over with a miniature broom and dust pan to sweep up what appeared to be a broken teacup at Tooby's left.
"Tooby wondered when he might see his owl again." I couldn't be certain, but his eyes looked a little more red around the edges than they had a moment ago.
I crouched down low and was met with the deepest, hardest side hug I'd ever received. Tooby was careful to keep the steaming teapot away from my skin but it teetered within the towel uneasily though the house elf didn't seem to care. After releasing me from the hug only to pull me back in to one more, his eyes flicked up to Sebastian and he winked, lowering his voice.
"Tooby sees mister Sallow's sandwich was a success."
"That it was." Sebastian smirked.
"Always was with sandwiches and Sallows."
Sebastian's brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"
"Tooby remembers Mr. and Mrs. Sallow in the kitchens on a number of occasions sir. Mr. Sallow was most partial to making his own sandwich for Mrs. Sallow on particularly busy days. Tooby liked that very much."
Sebastian's grin widened.
My smile landed back on Tooby's right hand, still clutching the steaming pot and towel. "What's with the teapots Tooby?"
Tooby frowned but seemed to think better of it and smiled again. "Headmaster Black often asks for tea on the weekends Miss. Sometimes, Headmaster Black deems the tea... unsatisfactory and Tooby and the others have to brew a few pots to get it just right. Never the same preference." He shook his head. "Never the same twice. Tooby never knows what to do with the extra tea!"
"That was Scrope wasn't it?" Sebastian looked back behind us to the place the little house elf with the first pot had disappeared. "Black's house-elf."
"Right you are sir."
The smell of warm black tea curled through the air.
"We could take the tea? If you don't mind that is." I shrugged. "It smells delicious."
"Ooooo!" Tooby practically sung, jumping once in excitement and nearly spilling the teapot's contents. "Tooby thinks that is a most wonderful idea miss. Tooby will grab more cups!"
Without another word, the animated little house-elf handed the towel wrapped pot to Sebastian and bounded back out of sight, returning a few minutes later with four delicate cups and four brown bags that he placed gently in my arms.
"Tooby didn't want the others to go hungry either. No no. Tooby would 't have that."
With my arms piled high, I placed a quick kiss to the top of Tooby's head. His cheeks flushed a bright shade of pink and he made me promise to return soon.
Sebastian and I walked briskly towards the Undercroft were Sebastian said Ominis and Anne were more than likely studying. Even with the added towel, Sebastian had to keep shifting the teapot back and forth between hands, hissing when a bare side would graze his skin.
Thankfully, the path back to the hidden space was nearly completely abandoned and we found Ominis and Anne exactly where he said they might be.
Ominis was sat against one of the pillars in the Undercroft, a brilliant green pillow behind his back and elbows over his knees that had been pulled up to his chest. His wand was placed exactly on the floor next to him with the tip parallel to his boot. Anne was curled aside him fast asleep with her head against his shoulder. There were a few open books sprawled out before them, two with raised braille dots and the others with notes scrawled within the margins. Loose parchment pages, quills and ink vials were strewn around them, leaving the space in complete disarray.
Ominis, for the time I had known him, had always been one to keep his space tidy, often taking the extra time to stack Sebastian's books or fold extra parchment and sort them by importance. This mayhem was entirely uncharacteristic and I wondered just what exactly could cause such disorder.
The gate of the Undercroft clanged shut louder than I remembered and I worried the sound would disturb their chaotic peace, yet Anne didn't stir and Ominis only titled his nose in our direction.
"Sebastian, where have you-" He paused, lips pulling up slowly at the edges and milky eyes softening. "Atley darling."
My heart hummed.
Sebastian squeezed my shoulder.
And finally once again, I was home.
"Hi Ominis."
Sebastian hissed loudly and nearly dropped the teapot onto a table in the corner of the room.
"It's a pleasure to have you back dear."
I followed closely behind Sebastian and gently stacked the cups and bags down too.
"What about me?" Sebastian pouted.
"'Pleasure' is not exactly the term that comes to mind." Ominis huffed.
Something small and warm pressed against my ankle and I sprang back, stumbling into Sebastian's chest.
"Oi Barlowe." His hands wrapped around my shoulders to steady me and peer over to the space I'd just hurled my body from. He smirked against my ear. "Ah yes. Number two on our list."
I dared to look down, expecting to find a giant rodent or worse, an owl, but was instead met with the bright yellow eyes and midnight black coat of a rather scraggly looking cat.
"Atley, this is Brahms. Brahms, this is Atley."