Han's pov
"how are you feeling?" I asked entering hyunjin's room...it had been four days since he was stabbed the doctor told him he could go home as long as he does not overwork himself...
"I am fine"he said leaning on the bed's frame."did you talk with minho hyung today?"he added.
"I did...he will pass by later" I answered sitting next to him...the older finally agreed to solve this together...but he should keep on working with that mafia until we figure out our next step...I hate it but we can't do anything else.
These kinds of people are not to mess with...we can't afford to make them suspicious of minho hyung.
"I talked with seungmin too...there is no word from seunghee...he even went to question her father he said he did not see her" i said making my eyes widen.
"he did...that's risky" he answered swallowing hard.
"jeongin fought with him over that too." I said shaking my head.
"he is right...i don't want people around us to get hurt" he said, I let go of the cover I was folding as my eyes fixed on the taller.
"but you are letting yourself get hurt" I said glaring at him.
"jisung, we went through this..."
"yeah we did, and I don't like it...i still don't trust you either do I trust minho hyung...there is this goddamn voice inside my head that keeps telling me that you are going to make something stupid...a damn reckless decision that will mess everything up...i can't do this anymore hwang...it is just so hard for me to accept the fact that we could have a happy ending...like I know am trying to keep calm but this is how I really feel...i opened my heart for you hyunjin" I said feeling my eyes getting teary with each word I said" So don't you dare do something stupid...that's my speciality. Don't try to be the hero" I said swallowing hard as the man looked at me with wide surprised eyes" Don't you dare die on me hyunjin" I finished as I broke down into tears.
I can't do this anymore, I shook my head running out of the room...felix who was standing near the door moved away to let me out which I am thankful for...i don't want any of them to see me like this...i don't want any of them to feel sorry for me...
"where are you going?" I froze when I opened the door to be met with minho hyung.
"out for some air" I answered trying to walk past him as I blinked my tears away but he did not care to move.
"you are in no shape to leave like this" he said grabbing my hand.
"hyung, I need to get out of here please...i feel so suffocated" I said shaking my head...i don't know if I am overreacting or it is getting hard to breathe but all I know is that I am to get out of here as soon as possible.
I was surprised when the older grabbed my hand dragging me out of the house.
"what are you..."
"we are going for a ride" he cut me off as he opened the passenger seat for me"get in jisung" he added.
I swallowed hard before I did as he asked, he walked around the car before he entered it taking his seat next to me.
The older took his phone out before he started to type" I texted hyunjin, he knows that you are with me" he said glancing at me from the corner of his eyes before he drove away.
The ride was silent...i don't know how to describe it...i feel comfortable and safe around him yet awkward...i did not met him in years...i did not even kiss my boyfriend for years.
The two of us grew up together, we dated since we were young...we were made for each other, we went through a lot of things together, had good memories and bad ones...but if you had asked and said that I would be acting around him as if he was a stranger I would have thought that you have lost your mind...like minho hyung and I...we were inseparable. He was...and still is my everything then why I am feeling like this around him...i gulped scanning his sharp features...he changed a lot...he became so cold...i think the only time I saw the old minho...i saw him show emotions was that day with hyunjin in the hospital but never before or after....he is next to me after years but he seems so distant...like so close yet so far...i don't know how to explain it.
His eyes were fixed on the road, his sleeves were pulled up showing even more tattoos...hyunjin told us about them...he said he has an Aster tattoo which I can see clearly now...it is beautiful...he never forgot about us...it makes me feel better, at least I am not so dumb and pathetic for holding on someone who didn't want me.
"you are more calm now" minho hyung said pulling me out of my thoughts...
"yeah" I hummed looking out of the window" where are we going?" I added seeing that we have left the city...when did we even reach the highway.
"you wanted to get out...i am taking you out" he replied.
"where..."
"relax jisung" he said looking at me.. I froze under his gaze...my eyes immediately fell on my lap as I played with my fingers.
The older didn't say another word as he got driving silently...i reached out to open the music player trying to ease the tension.
A soft melody started to fill the car as I smiled...both of us loved this song, we were planning to ask the school to play it in his prom to dance to it but it never happened since he went missing.
He closed the the device making me look at him confused but didn't comment on it.
"we are here" he said parking the car outside a cabin.
"this is yours?" I asked as both of us left the vehicle.
He hummed walking to open the door " I brought away from the city hassle...i come here when I want to relax a bit.. You seemed like you needed this" he answered as we both entered.
It was small yet so clean and organized...it screams minho hyung...
"you still make wood arts" my eyes widened when it fell on the various items in the place...from tables and chairs to animals...and they looked so good.
"sometimes" he said walking around the place." you can sit down there...it is a bit cold out here."he added pointing at the couch, before he started to put some wood in the chimney.
He did not look at me once since we entered.
"are you hungry?" he asked finally staring at me...we were looking at each other blankly as none of us said a word...
Suddenly his phone started to ring making the two of us look away.
"yes"he answered sounding annoyed.
"I have some work to deal with I can't make it home today....i know...yes..." he said clenching his jaw" me too"he added hanging up.
"who was it?" I asked curiously.
"I will prepare some soup for you..there are blankets there too if you are still cold"the older ignored my question pointing behind me.
"hyung" I said making him stop midway, I walked closer to him but he did not look back." i miss you" I added back hugging him...i felt him tense into my hold.
"we don't feel the same right" he whispered.
"but we can go back to what we were..."
" you look at me as if I am an alien jisung."he said getting out of my whole before he faced me"and you are right...i am not your minho anymore...i agreed to stay close to you but I have no promises that you will have your boyfriend back."he added.
As much as I want us to be like we were...as much as I want to have my old hyung back...what matters is that he is here...
"as long as you are with me I am ready to accept anything coming from you hyung...i think I made it clear..."
"again I am asking...why? I am really worth it?" he cut me off.
"and I am saying it again...you are...you worth the whole world for me." I said moving my hand up to touch his cheek.
He was surprised at first before he leaned in.
"I am so scared that this could be a dream hyung...i am scared of losing you...felix...or hyunjin" I said swallowing hard" It took me time to understand his feelings....it was stolid of me to refuse him with no reason...i just had this fixed idea of him being the be guy...but he loves us"I added.
"he does" he hummed.
"why didn't you tell me about him? You know him for years... you told him about me but you kept him as a secret...as if you were hiding him"I said taking a deep breath.
"because he was"he replied making me frown" you were in love with felix and took time to tell me right"he added.
"yes"I nodded.
"I was in love with him...i was so confused and scared...i thought I betrayed you...your trust...since the day I saw him in the cemetery...i knew that he was different...i had never felt the way I did toward him except for you...and eventually felix...you know that the younger and I are just like you and hyunjin...he loved me for years but I did not return his feelings...until you told me you loved him...everything became a mess....like how he kissed me then we slept together...i was not in love with him at that time...but soon after I did...i fell hard...i was planning on telling hyunjin about my feelings...but he ignored me that summer...i wanted to introduce you all to each other....but it never happened"I said shaking his head" I watched all of you from afar...i watched how my friends and loved ones suffered because of me...and it broke jisung...it feels wrong to me to just get back and act like nothing happened...you said I am your happiness but so are you....do you think after all I had out you through I deserve that? I deserve happiness?"he added.
I understand where he comes from, it is not an easy thing to do.
"if we are going to keep thinking about the past we will go nowhere...we will be stuck forever...we are started over...think of it as a reborn...let's throw all of our bad memoirs behind...and focus on the presence...for a new beginning. So hyung...what do you want to do?" I asked caressing his cheek.
"now...i want to kiss you"I whispered making me smile.
"then do it" I replied, he looked at me with a surprised face before he gently leaned in to connect our lips...it felt so right...i waited years for this...i just can't believe that he is really here....he is with me...if this is a dream...i don't want to wake up...
Felix's pov
"he is with minho hyung"hyunjin said after he checked his phone.
"good" I answered nodding my head.
"I am sorry" he said making me frown.
"why..."
"for leaving you Felix...you had it worse than us...you lost minho hyung me and jisung at once "he cut me off.
"you lost them too..."
"I did not know where minho hyung was but I knew about you...you couldn't even see me"he said cutting me off again.
"you apologized," I said looking away
"I can not apologize to you enough" he said grabbing my hand." you were hurt but you are the one who kept his calm the most"he added.
"someone needed to stay strong..."
"it scares me Felix"he said making me frown.
"what..."
"minho hyung joined a damn mafia, he used his job as a way to punish himself...i know it...the two of us witnessed the mess han made...but you...you act like it is nothing" he said scanning me.
"I was alone with jisung...if I broke down...who could have stayed by his side" I said tilting my head" I had my way of dealing with everything...i just worked...i became a workaholic like my parents the thing I hate " I added.
"it is better than sleeping around like you did in high school"he teased.
"when are you going to forget about that?" I said rolling my eyes.
"never"he said shaking his head.
"how about you? How did you stay this calm? " I asked.
",I have never said I was...i had my ups and downs through the past years...sometimes I used work to deal with it...sometimes I thought about the day we reunite... that gave me the will to keep fighting for all of us...and sometimes I gave up....i cried...i crashed things...no one is as composed as they look lix...some people are just better at hiding it... like you and I" he said caressing my hand.
"we are" I hummed" Where do you think they went?" I added.
"probably to make things right between them."he answered.
"yes they seemed tensed around each other "I said nodding to myself.
"you are not comfortable around minho hyung as well...."
"it is different...we were never close like jisung and him...i was in love with him...we were friends....but the bond he had with han is different...all of us know that" I cut him off" I know now that we all care about each but what they had was out of this world...the unconditional love...in the past I was so jealous of jisung...you have no idea how strong their feelings toward each other are"I added.
"believe me I do...that's why I pushed minho hyung away...i thought I was just an outsider...like who I am to get between them...funny thing I used to be jealous of you...like when minho hyung told me he slept with you I was so jealous...maybe even angry..."he said making me chuckle.
"man how did we even end up in love with each other? This is a damn mess" I said shaking my head.
"a perfect mess...i regret nothing...without what happened maybe we would have never met...we were hurt but I believe with my beings that we will be together at the end"I said pecking my cheek....i hope that too...i really do...