Nixx
So, let me get this straight," Rowan starts. "The most dangerous rogue in the forest. The rogue that we have been looking everywhere for. The rogue that gets away every time unscathed. His daughter just walked into our pack?"
I rub my temple to ease the oncoming ache.
"Yes," I say, irritated. "We're leaving in a couple of hours. I'm not wasting a single second if that girl thinks she can find him."
Kyler glares from his spot in the corner as he says, "And what happens when you find him? What happens to the girl when you find him?"
Sometimes I envy the heart he has. One that's so big it barely fits inside his chest. But right now, when it's clouding his sense of judgment, I only wish he could deflate it a little.
"I will murder him as he murdered my father, and I won't think twice about it."
He stares, eyes an unflinching shade of boiling blue.
"And the girl?"
A metal rod shoves itself down my spine as all my muscles clench one by one.
Leaving her was probably one of the hardest things I've done, even knowing I'll see her in less than an hour, it doesn't make it better.
The bond is brutal when refused, pushing and pulling at your heart strings until nothing is left to pull. I need to get it under control, need to learn how to ignore it better, because if I slip up with everyone watching, she's dead.
My gut shrivels, my heart begging with each beat not to say the words I'm about to say, but I don't have a choice.
"She'll go back to her side, with people who aren't murderers. I'm doing her a favour."
Kyler's eyes suddenly turn skeptical, searching. He knows something, but before I can ask what, Rowan says, "I'll go get a group together."
I nod. "Link me when you're ready."
The door closes after him, and the silence is almost too much.
"I'm-"
"She's your mate, isn't she?"
My lungs restrict, air pushing and pushing until finally I cough it up.
He chuckles, but there's no humour in it.
"You really are an asshole, you know that?" He says incredulously.
My molars grind, anger leaking in fast and heavy.
"At least I can tell the difference between a heart led mistake and a mind led decision," I say.
I don't see him until he's right in front of me, my back pressed to the wall and his hands gripping my shirt collar.
"You call my feelings useless and deceitful, but at least I have some." He gets closer, eyes boring into mine. "The day you learn to feel something will be a day that you realize the world doesn't revolve around logic, it revolves around how people deal with that logic."
I shove him off, almost pulling us both to the ground in my haste to get away.
"I'm sending her back!" I all but yell. "What more do you want? I don't have time for a mate, and I certainly don't have time for love."
It's a lie, and by the looks of his face, he knows it.
He slumps onto the couch in my office, head in his hands. He looks worn out, and guilt washes through me.
I did this. I turned into someone he couldn't rely on, couldn't talk to, couldn't rant to, couldn't do anything but follow orders. He was my best friend, but somewhere along the lines I started treating him like my Beta.
I sigh, rubbing my forehead. Confrontation really isn't my thing, but I guess there's a first time for everything.
"Look, I..." words come and go, each worse than the last, so I simply say, "I haven't been fair. I've treated you like shit when all you've done is help me out. I'm sorry."
I wait in silence.
Wait a little more.
A little more.
More.
I look up, intending to pester him, but he's already looking at me with.....amusement?
"Did you actually just apologize to me?"
"Oh my gosh," I mutter, glaring. "Accept it or don't. I have things to do."
He laughs, and I almost smile when I finally hear actual joy in it.
"I'll accept your apology." I nod, but then he adds, "On one condition."
I roll my eyes but gesture for him to continue.
"You give her a chance."
I'm shaking my head before he's even done speaking.
"If I put her in a place of importance, she is immediately on every rogue's radar."
His head falls back against the couch as he stretches, patient and dubious.
"You don't know that. She's already the daughter of a rogue." He thinks for a minute before saying, "In fact, I'll bet that as soon as you kill her dad, targets will fill her back faster than she can blink."
I pause. I hadn't even considered that.
Kyler sees the hesitation in my features and says, "She's already in here, Nolixx, and if you send her back after everything she sees, she'll be dead within seconds."
My full name has my attention snapping to his every word, exactly as he wanted.
"Don't call me that," I snap.
He just smirks.
"It gets your attention when nothing else will. You're thinking about it, aren't you?"
The information spins and spins, sending my set out plans scattering across the floor.
"I will take it into consideration, but that doesn't mean I'm accepting her. If anything, I'll find her a safer pack to stay in."
He opens his mouth but I quickly add, "Don't push this. I'm glad you have Kya, but I don't need anyone. I'm perfectly happy on my own."
Liar, my wolf says.
Maybe I am, but I won't love someone just to lose them. If I have to care from afar, then I will.
As long as she stays safe, everything will be fine.
*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*
"It doesn't fit," Noella whispers.
I drag over another pair of boots and tap her other foot. "Try this one."
I refused to let her wear her sorry excuse for boots and instead asked Cara to gather a couple of warm options for her.
Most of them have been too big, but from the looks of this one, I think we found a winner.
"How does it feel?" I ask, staring at the boots, avoiding eye contact.
I know as soon as I look into that warm brown gaze, I'll be a goner.
You already are, my wolf says on a chuckle.
I don't bother denying him as Noella twists her foot, testing and feeling.
"They feel nice," she says quietly, almost inaudibly.
Since coming out of the room and off her restraints, she's been very quiet. Only answering questions that are asked and trying to make herself as invisible as possible.
It's frustrating, the way she won't look or speak to me, but I have no right to feel that way considering I'm doing the exact same thing.
Damn mate bond.
I clear my throat before saying, "Well then these are what you are wearing. Your jacket will do but I'll get Cara to grab a new pair of mittens for you."
I'm suddenly consumed with worries that she will be too cold, get frostbite, develop hypothermia, succumb to pneumonia, become a victim to bronchitis, get-
"Thank you," Noella says, breaking off my wild internal rant. "I can assure you I won't abuse your time, and I intend to pay you back," she thinks for a second before adding, "somehow."
Her words aren't hushed or whispered this time, and warmth travels somewhere it definitely shouldn't when I'm hit with her voice.
"That won't be necessary," I say.
She opens her mouth to object, but then footsteps have her closing it.
"All ready to go?" Kyler asks as he appears through the archway of the porch.
I don't miss the slight flinch that jolts Noella's body, but I ignore it as I reply with, "I believe so."
I glance at her quickly, making sure her eyes are otherwise occupied before I mindlink Kyler, I have a stop first.
He gives me a strange look before asking, what?
I can't help a smirk from blooming as I link, Caden's pack.
A/N
I would love any thoughts or comments on the story so far!
Thank you for reading!💚