Arnav stared at the face that had plagued him relentlessly for almost a month now, a face that he had once refused to acknowledge, a face that he had now grown to love beyond anything else.
Khushi looked beautiful, her raven black hair cascading neatly down her back, her warm face shining under the iridescent lights of the hotel room, her soft pink lips tantalizing his very core... god, how much he had missed her!
It had taken every last ounce of self-control in the past three weeks to not meet her. Save for a bouquet of roses –which he couldn't help but send in a futile effort to gauge her reaction– he had maintained his distance. She had very specifically told him that she needed time and after everything he had put her through, he knew he owed it to her. After all, it must not have been easy watching his ex-flame barge into their apartment that day, announcing that she had been carrying his child not too long ago.
It was the truth he had been brushing under the carpet, knowing that no matter what Khushi had said about being "okay" with his past, she would one hundred percent be affected by it. And he had been absolutely right.
Khushi was shaken. He could see it that night when she stormed at him in the hospital and he could see it now, when she stood in front of him, abnormally stoic, very determined not to let emotions get the better of her. It was marvelous how she could do that, how she held herself together no matter what came her way.
Arnav wished he could be like that; it would have saved him so much heartbreak!
As the minutes ticked by painfully slow, Arnav realized grudgingly that she wasn't going to be the first one to speak. She was going to make it hard for him, as she had every right to.
He cleared his throat. "Hi."
She stood still, no change in her blank expression.
"How are you?" Arnav continued, trying to keep his voice light.
There was still no answer.
"Khushi?" Arnav called, tentatively taking a step forward. "Can you hear me?"
His movement seemed to have jolted her out of her thoughts. She blinked several times, as though she was struggling to find words.
Eventually, she finally settled for: "What are you doing here?"
Arnav's shoulders fell in disappointment. He had hoped that these past few days would be enough for her to forget the resentment Myra's arrival had caused. But perhaps, he had been expecting too much.
"Isn't it obvious?"
She pursued her lips, knowing the answer but refusing to acknowledge it.
"I came to see you Khushi," he replied. "Why else would I be here?"
She stubbornly crossed her arms. "And how did you know that I was coming to Agra?"
Did she really plan on wasting time talking about useless details? Didn't she know him better than this?
"Awasti told me... trustee, remember?"
"Right."
Arnav took a deep breath. "So... how are you?"
"Is that a trick question?"
"No, of course not."
Khushi stared at him, for a second letting her conflicted emotions peek through.
"Come sit," Arnav said softly, gesturing to the couch behind him.
Khushi hesitated for the tiniest of seconds before dropping her tote bag on the floor and making her way inside. Instead of the couch, however, she settled on the perch of the queen-sized bed, her hands neatly folded in her lap. It bizarrely looked like she was here for a business meeting.
"You're still mad at me then," he murmured, not missing the distance she was maintaining.
She shrugged. "I'm not mad–"
"So then come home."
Khushi stopped short.
"Come home," he repeated, the plea in his voice unmistakable now. "Come home and be whatever you want to be... angry, disappointed, frustrated... I promise I won't say a word. But just come home."
Khushi opened her mouth, in what Arnav presumed to only be refusal, however, nothing came out. If he didn't know better, he would have thought she was at a loss of words.
"This is not like you," he said when she remained silent for a few more minutes.
"Like what?"
"My Khushi always has something to say."
Her face –oddly– fell at that, and with it, Arnav's heart too.
"What's wrong?" he asked immediately, wanting nothing but to run forward and envelope her in a bear hug. There were many things in the world he could tolerate, but watching her downturned expression was not one of them.
Oblivious to his thoughts, Khushi's looked at her lap, her voice barely audible. "Why didn't you call me?"
"I wanted to," he replied. "But you said you needed time... and space."
"So then why did you come today?"
"Because I'm tired... tired of waiting, tired of hoping, tired of being patient. I gave you whatever I could... but enough Khushi, I can't stay away anymore."
"I'm tired too," she confessed, her eyes still trained on her lap.
Arnav did a double take, not sure if he heard correctly.
"I'm tired of being angry with you, of resenting everything we had, of repeating what Myra said over and over again in my head... I'm so very tired."
It was quiet for a minute as Arnav processed both what she said and everything she didn't. While he was glad that she had dropped her tough exterior and was willing to have a conversation with him, he was also very concerned about the utter dejection reeking through her voice.
What exactly had happened to her these past few days?
It had costed him his whole heart to stay away from her. The agony of not seeing her beautiful face in the mornings, the painful reminders of her presence in every corner of the penthouse, the constant lies to his family covering up her absence, and perhaps the cherry on top, the fear of losing her forever... Arnav had no clue how he had even survived.
He only remembered forcing himself to take one breath at a time, breaking his days into first hours, then minutes and then seconds. It was all he could do to keep from going mad.
However, looking at Khushi sitting before him, her face downcast, her voice broken, his misery seemed like nothing next to hers. If he had lived a hundred lives in these last three weeks, it appeared that she had lived a thousand.
"So then come home," he said finally, his voice just as low as hers.
She didn't reply.
Arnav cautiously walked forward, almost waiting for her to stop him. She, surprisingly, didn't. She sat as still as a statue until he eventually was less than a foot away, and perched down on his knees so that he could look directly at her.
"Come home," he repeated.
She raised her eyes just enough to look into his. Not needing words to understand what she wanted to say, he gently entwined his fingers in hers.
"You can tell me," he assured her. "You can always tell me."
She took a deep breath. "I don't know how to."
He didn't follow.
"I don't know how to come back home... knowing..."
A pit formed in Arnav's stomach. "Go on," he said half-heartedly. "Say it "
"I can't come back knowing that Myra is the love of your life."
Arnav didn't bother to hide his grimace. How and when had his life been reduced to one singular woman?! Wasn't he worth more than the mistakes of his past? And more importantly, how did Khushi, his Khushi, not understand?! Understand that he was over his ex, that she was nothing but a storm that was needed to make him appreciate the dawn?
"We have been over this," he muttered in a low voice. "What I had with Myra is long over–"
She was quick to pick up on his frustration. "I don't mean it in a hurtful way, believe me."
He forced his mouth shut, letting her continue.
"But you love her. Even with all her flaws, you were crazy about her... I have seen it, all those days you spent calling her, looking for her. You can't tell me that's not true love. No one pines for a crush, or a fling like that. And yes, things happened and fate or whatever intervened, and we ended up married, but what if fate didn't intervene? Then wouldn't you be with her right now, playing with your child, happy?"
Arnav sighed, trying really hard to see her point. "What makes you think I'm not happy with you? Or that you aren't the love of my life?"
"It's... it's just the way... you are different with her."
"Different how?"
She couldn't say.
Arnav gave her a few more minutes to collect her thoughts, to come up with something other than a hunch, but like that night in the hospital, Khushi couldn't. Because the truth was, there was nothing to justify this absurd thought that Myra was his "soulmate". Absolutely nothing.
"Don't you see?" he said tenderly. "What you are saying is a bunch of what ifs... what if Myra didn't leave, what if Myra had a baby... there is no way to prove that all of your what ifs are wrong, because they never happened–"
"Yes, but can you say with the same surety that they wouldn't have happened either?"
Arnav gritted his teeth.
"I know you disagree," she continued apologetically. "But just think about it from my shoes for a minute... how am I supposed to come back, when everything tells me that I'm the wrong fit for you? How am I supposed to pretend that you and I are perfect together, when you obviously had chosen someone else? How am I supposed to believe that you didn't pick me because you had no other choice–"
"Because there is always a choice!" he interjected fiercely. Arnav didn't have it in him to listen to her use the word "convenience" one more time.
"If I didn't pick you Khushi, if I didn't believe you are perfect for me, then wouldn't I have let you go by now? You and I both know this marriage has long stopped being an obligation! Why else would you refuse to go to London with your brother, why else would I tell your father to stay out of our lives? Why would you sell your jewelry to get me a restaurant and why on earth would I name it after you?! If this isn't love, what is?!"
For that she had no answer.
He pressed on, before she found new objections: "And who on earth even said love happens only once? Would you love Vihaan any less if you had another sibling? Or does Vihaan love you less now that he is married? So then, why are you holding on to this 'once in a lifetime' crap?"
Khushi disagreed. "That's different–"
"No, it's not, because it's rubbish that we have a place in our heart for so many different relationships, but when it comes to a life partner, we box ourselves into thinking that it's one and only one."
"And what happens when we fight like you and Myra did? Will we also go our separate ways?"
"What the are you talking about? Why will we separate–"
"Because things happen!" she snapped, but there was no malice in her tone. All Arnav could hear was anguish. "Two years ago, did you think you would separate from Myra?"
"No–"
"But you did anyway, didn't you? So, what is the guarantee that we are 'meant to be'?"
Arnav closed his eyes, forcing himself to take deep, calming breaths. The conversation was taking a ridiculous turn.
Khushi took his silence as surrender, however, and continued. "Every time I think of coming back, I feel as if I am just filling the gap Myra left... I wonder if you would be just as crazy about me if I disappeared without a note or if you'd spend everything you had into finding me... and if you didn't, then what is the point of coming back? I... I rather be alone than be with the wrong person."
Arnav retracted his hand from hers, failing to keep his voice even. "So, being with me feels so wrong that you'd rather be alone?"
She averted her eyes, unable to look at him.
Her silence only angered him more. "Khushi, I don't even understand where this is coming from! Of course I'm crazy about you!! Why is that so goddamn hard for you to believe?!"
She flinched at his harsh tone.
"Do you have any idea what a complete nutcase I've been in these three weeks?! I was checking my phone every minute of every day, hoping I would see a message or a call from you – you know who does that?! Crazy people!! Half the company thinks I have gone mad, that's how distracted and lost I have been these past few days! And don't even get me started on that insane stunt you pulled, asking your father's servants to come collect your things! It took everything I had to not come barging into Gupta Manor that day and drag you back to the penthouse myself!"
Khushi stared at him, bewildered. And even though it was a good thing that she was at least giving him a chance to explain, Arnav, on some level, found her surprise insulting.
"And the only reason I didn't was because I respected you and your need for some space!" he continued indignantly. "And if you still don't believe me, then ask Awasti! Ask her how many times I have been to your hospital this last week, making up excuses for unnecessary meetings, just so that I can check in on you! What else do you want me to do Khushi? How else am I supposed to make you believe?!"
She cleared her throat. "Arnav calm down–"
"No, I've had enough! I'm done trying to stay away, I'm done trying to find explanations... you keep telling me that I love you out of convenience, but what if I asked you the same? If your father wasn't in the picture and we had met in your medical college, would you still have chosen me to be your life partner? If Vihaan had the courage to walk out of the family business sooner, would you still have chosen to marry me?"
Khushi's face hardened.
"Do you see how baseless your accusations are? I agree, I didn't treat you well when this marriage started, but haven't I proven myself to you since then?!"
"Then why didn't you tell me about your baby?"
"I tried to!!" he fumed. "But you didn't want to hear anything about Myra that night!"
"And it didn't occur to you that maybe this was something I needed to hear to anyway? Because sooner or later I would find out, right?"
Her words felt like a blow to his stomach. She was right, of course. Arnav was guilty as charged. He should have told her that night of the restaurant opening, when she had confessed just how insecure Myra made her. But he had brushed it aside, letting himself be carried away in passion, instead of doing what was correct.
"I should have," he admitted, avoiding her accusing eyes. "I really should have told you about the pregnancy... but I never meant to hide it. We had agreed to discuss Myra once the restaurant settled down, if I knew she would show up like that the very next day..."
"So if she didn't show up, you wouldn't have bothered to tell me? You would've kept putting it off and let me live in this lie?"
"Of course not!" he retorted. "And what lie?! Everything I've told you has been nothing but the truth–"
"No," she disagreed. "You've told me nothing Arnav. In all these months we were together, you found out everything about me, how I grew up, who are my closest, what are my likes, dislikes... but have you ever bothered to tell me who you are? You have been so protective about your past, about how you were in college, who your best friends are... what do I even know about you other than the fact that you wanted to be a chef?"
"That's not true–"
"It is," she insisted. "It is true and it's exactly as Myra said... I'm just a rebound for you, and no one spends forever with rebounds."
Arnav stared at her, unable to believe what he was hearing. He had spent the last few days thinking a lot about how she must have felt, re-enacting in his head what Myra's arrival must have looked like from her eyes... but never, in all of the scenarios he cooked up, had he imagined this.
Running his hands through his hair, his heart seizing in pain, he said: "You know what, all this time I kept thinking you were just shaken by seeing Myra that day, but the truth is, you have lost trust in me Khushi... Everything I am saying are just words to you."
She didn't deny it.
"And the sad thing is," he muttered. "There is nothing I can do about it. It's been more than half a year since we got married and all you have understood about me is that I jump from one relationship to another."
"Don't say that–"
"You are saying that Khushi, not me. You are refusing to see what everyone else can. Every single person around me has figured out how incomplete I am without you... whether it's at home, or at the company or at the restaurant... everyone except you."
Her face was stricken. "Arnav–"
He didn't have it in him to listen to her flimsy excuses. He had come to Agra that day hoping for reconciliation, but it was clear from her reluctance that perhaps it was too late for that.
"I have always felt guilty for meeting Myra before you," he continued. "As if I have somehow betrayed your trust... but not anymore. I'm human. When Myra was in my life, I genuinely thought she was the love of my life, so I did everything in my power to keep her... If someone would have told me to wait, told me that my soulmate was not her, but someone else, then I would have waited without blinking an eye. But no one did. So, I did what I thought was right... how can you punish me for not knowing better?"
Khushi let out a soft sigh. "I'm not punishing you–"
"But you are," he stressed, without meeting her eyes. "You left without even waiting to hear my explanation, you spent almost a month ignoring my absolute existence, and now you are saying I have treated you like a rebound... if this isn't punishment, then what is it?"
Perhaps it was the ache in his voice, or the honesty in his words... whatever it was, it was enough for Khushi to –finally!– abandon her seat on the bed. Sliding down to the carpeted floor, she kneeled in front him, taking both of his hands into hers.
Battered as he was, however, Arnav didn't get his hopes up too high and looked everywhere but her beautiful face.
"I'm sorry Arnav," she whispered. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
He didn't reply.
She pressed on: "All those nights you spent calling her, leaving her voicemails, fighting with your family, I was right there with you... And each time Lavanya or Anjali pushed you to forget, you only said one thing – that she was the love of your life."
"Things were–"
"–different back then, I know. And weirdly, somewhere deep down, I even understood it... these past three weeks without you were unbearable, so I cannot even imagine what you must have gone through when she left... you were never a person who jumped from one relationship to another; when you commit, you give it your all."
Arnav allowed himself to peak a glance at her. Her expression was even, but her in her eyes, he could see the frostiness starting to melt away.
"So then... what changed?" he asked her. "What is so unforgivable now?"
"It's not unforgivable... it's painful," she said simply. "After seeing you pine for her the way I did, it's just hard for me to believe if you will ever be able to love me the same."
Arnav let out a breath he wasn't even fully aware of holding. Gripping her hands even more tightly, he chose his words with great care:
"The way I see it, there is no solution to this Khushi... You will probably understand why it's you and why it has always been you in my life twenty years from now, when you look back and see everything you are too hurt to see now... But for those twenty years to happen, you have to give me a chance now."
A strange sort of understanding overtook her eyes. "You think so?"
He cupped her cheek. "Please come home Khushi... our home. I don't know if that is the answer you need, or the decision that is correct. All I know is that I cannot and do not want to live without you... all I can promise is that I will love you until my last breath, I will stay by your side no matter what comes our way, and if for whatever reason, that is not enough, then I will try even harder to be what you need... but please just come home."
For a second she didn't answer, and Arnav had no choice but to believe that all was lost. Thankfully, it only lasted a second.
Then, out of nowhere, Khushi suddenly leaned forward and kissed him hard on the mouth. Not having anticipated her fervor, Arnav lost balance and tumbled backwards, taking her with him. She didn't notice or care in the slightest. She continued kissing him, her hands roaming through his hair, her tongue dancing against his. Arnav responded in a frenzy, unleashing all the anguish that tore him apart in the last three weeks.
"I love you," she told him in between kisses. "Truly... deeply... irrevocably..."
"I love you too," he answered, breathless. "Please tell me this nightmare is over... I can't... go back–"
She silenced him with another kiss. "It is."
Arnav felt as if a mountain had been lifted off his chest. Wrapping his arms even more tightly around her waist, he rolled them over so that she was beneath him and buried his face in the hollow of her neck, breathing in her scent.
He heard Khushi smile, and felt her gently rub his back.
They laid on the floor like that for many minutes, basking in the sweetness of reunion, neither wanting to let go. Arnav didn't know what relieved him more, Khushi's arms around him or the knowledge that she was coming home.
"I probably wouldn't have chosen you," she said suddenly.
Arnav didn't move, much too soothed in her arms.
"If the stupid merger wasn't on the table, and my father was decent enough to give me a choice.... I probably wouldn't have picked you."
Arnav –reluctantly– leaned back to look at her. "What?"
"You were asking me right," she said, her eyes guilty. "If we had met in college or somewhere our parents weren't meddling, would I still have picked you?"
"I only meant–"
"Well, you are right. Too many people, both willingly and unwillingly, have made decisions for us, and that's why all these doubts keep haunting us... haunting me."
He sighed, rolling back and standing up, offering her a hand. "It's not the doubts that bother me Khushi."
She followed suit. "Then?"
"It's staying away from you... do you honestly think people will stop meddling in our lives? Or that we won't ever argue in the future? Relationships are like that... messy, annoying, painful... the point is to deal with them together. I would much rather you told me what was bothering you about Myra's comments, than ignore me like this."
It was her turn to bury her head in his chest. "You just make it too hard Arnav."
"Make what hard?"
"To be mad at you... to hate you... you made me fall so hopelessly in love with you that there is no going back."
Arnav chuckled, even though he knew he shouldn't.
"I honestly can't imagine how Myra was able to walk away, I–" she broke off, feeling him stiffen.
"Promise me something," he asked, serious.
"Anything."
"Promise me this is the last time we are talking about my past."
"I–"
"No, really," he stressed. "I never, ever, want to hear Myra's name. From today, the only name I want to hear with mine is yours. That's it."
She looked up at him, touched. "That's it?"
Arnav pecked her lips. "That's everything."
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A/N: Aaaannnnndddd the love birds are finally back together! 😁😁😁
Thank you for all the love for the last couple of chapters!! ❤️❤️❤️ I know Khushi took her own sweet little time to come around, but she's a stubborn cookie, and since the beginning of the story, I knew that it would be hard to earn her trust. Thankfully, Arnav managed to earn it back.
The last and final chapter will hopefully be up in a week, give or take a few days.
As always, please leave your thoughts and comments - I truly love reading them, and understanding your perspective on these characters!
Love,
Archi