Tonya woke to the enticing smell of fried spices, loud music and noisy chattering voices. Vish's home sounded like it was bursting at the seams with people. Aunties, mums, dads, brothers, sisters.
Vish explained it was his sister's "godh bharai", which he explained was a Hindu celebration kinda like a baby shower, where the family came together to bless his sister and her unborn baby, and his mum had hired a venue in town and was organising a massive, delicious feast.
He laughed when Tonya said it sounded like it was a full house already.
"This is my life, a huge family with a million aunties that always arrive early for everything! Apparently they are here to help but its basically like a party before the party" he said with a little laugh.
It dawned on Tonya that she'd not really known Vish that long and she felt really embarrassed stepping out onto his landing in one of his oversized hoodies, dashing to the toilet with her crumpled jeans and a toothbrush, hoping no one would see her.
She splashed her face with water and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were red and swollen and she looked tired and ill. She scraped her curls back off her face with someone's old hair tie she found on the bathroom floor and quickly changed back into yesterday's clothes.
Tonya felt foolish and shy, out of place here, cursing herself for not going straight to the caravan as she'd originally planned. The noises of the house made her feel slightly panicked. She hadn't really wanted to meet his mum like this, let alone his entire family.
She could hear his mum talking to Vish now, outside the bathroom door.
"What's going on, you got someone here?"
Tonya took a deep breath and exited the bathroom, plastering a smile over her face that she prayed seemed genuine.
Vish's mum smiled back, raising her eyebrows. She looked quizzically at her son. By the look on her face, this was probably the first time Vish had brought a girl home, let alone for an overnight stay.
Giving Tonya the once over, she asked if she wanted something to eat for breakfast.
"I've actually got to get back," Tonya said, aware of how rude she sounded.
Vish's mum looked radiant. She had long black glossy hair and was already dressed for the event in a special green saree, teamed with an abundance of gold floral jewellery.
Tonya blushed as she thought how hideous she must look compared to her, standing there with her messy hair pulled back into a bun, dressed in Vish's hoodie and yesterday's jeans.
She looked at Vish, who was quickly grabbing his bag and helmet as he said,
"Bye, Mum, I'll be back later," not looking her in the eye as the two of them hurried down the stairs, past the kitchen with its delicious aromas.
Tonya heard his mum shouting back from the top of the stairs.
"Ok but don't be late Vishnu. This is an important day for your sister!"
At first Tonya was glad to be out on the high street away from the relatives and their curious eyes but then she remembered why she was here.
As if Vish read her mind he asked, "You going to be okay at your nan's?"
"Yeah, I guess so, I haven't really thought about it," Tonya lied, shrugging.
In truth, even inside the chaos of Vish's family home she'd still not been able to block out last night's argument.
She heard Tamashi's whistle. The winds weren't strong enough to hear her words, but just feeling her presence comforted Tonya. She wasn't sure why but having her spirit friend around was starting to feel like the only thing that made sense to her now.
She wondered for a second who was more lost, her or Tamashi.
Vish – with a little less confidence than normal – broke her chain of thought.
"Can we just do one thing before you go to the caravan? I want to take you somewhere, it's not far from here."
Tonya felt tired, but Vish looked so hopeful and after everything he'd done for her, she couldn't exactly say no, so she nodded.
"Okay, if we're quick."
"Okay, it's only up here," Vish said with a flash of what Tonya could only detect as nerves.
Intrigued, she followed him up the high street, until they reached an old-fashioned-looking worn-down shop front. On the front in gold swirly capital letters it read "GALLERY AND FRAMING".
As they went in, a little bell jingled on the door. An elderly-looking Indian man sat behind a till. Spectacles balanced on the ridge of his nose, he was making notes in a writing pad and chatting to someone in a professional tone on the phone.
He looked up briefly and gave Vish a warm smile and a nod – as if he knew him well and saw him often. He looked back down again, returning to his phone call.
"Come with me," Vish urged, guiding Tonya to the back of the shop.
It was a tiny dimly-lit shop, jam-packed with picture frames and framed art on the walls, making the place feel like a gallery. The air seemed dusty, with a lovely smell of wood shavings scenting the shop.
Everywhere Tonya looked there were piles of stacked up frames, softly lit by tasselled old lamps dotted about, giving the place a warm glow.
Right at the back was a workshop space, where another younger-looking man stood at the back carefully cutting glass for a piece of art he was framing.
"Is it done yet, Sean?" Vish asked the man.
Speaking above the classical music playing from an old radio, he cheerfully replied, "Yes, mate, it's at the back. I've put some bubble wrap round it for ya."
Vish took Tonya to the back of the shop, where there was a small space with a few chairs in a circle with little wooden tables set with weaving looms. One side of the shop housed open storage shelves that ran right up to the ceiling, which were stuffed full of bundles of wool in multiple colours.
Vish explained that the man at the front of the shop was his grandfather and that this was his picture-framing shop, but he hired out the back of the shop to people who came in to run art and weaving classes for the locals.
Vish found the little package he'd asked after. It was about the size of a postcard, wrapped in layers of bubble wrap. Tonya could have sworn Vish blushed a bit; she'd never seen him look embarrassed.
"So... I made something for you. I was gonna post it, as I didn't know when you'd be coming back. It's nuffin really, just, yeah, well, here you go."
His words stumbled out quickly, even faster than normal. "Don't open it in front of me, yeah? Do it later."
Tonya took the package and thanking him shyly put it in her coat pocket. She couldn't believe Vish had got something for her: a present! Her heart leapt at the possibility that maybe he liked her more than just as a friend.
She clutched the package in her pocket and smiled at him as he grinned back. For a second his deep brown eyes locked with hers. Vish spoke, bolder this time, "Tonya, I—"
"What's going on back there then?"
Vish's grandfather said as he strode through the store to the back. He was a kind-looking man, with a gruff voice and a look of mischief in his eyes.
"Nothing, Daada, I was just getting something. This is my friend, Tonya," he said, "but we are in a hurry so can't stop to chat, I'll see you later yea, at Shinda's baby thing? Mum's sorting her normal feast – surprise, surprise, everyone's already started arriving early," he said, rolling his eyes.
"Ah yes, 'course that's today, isn't it? You still okay to open up for me tomorrow morning, Vishnu? So I can get to my appointment?"
"Yep, yep, def no problem, Daada. I'll get the keys off you later, yeah, at the party. Make sure you come?"
"Okay, good idea."
He turned kindly to Tonya. "Nice to meet you, Tonya."
Tonya smiled back and said goodbye politely as the pair left the shop.
After they left the shop, Vish walked Tonya back to her nan's caravan park.
Vish talked to Tonya about his grandad, explaining how he was a bit of a wheeler dealer. He said he was always looking for ways to make money and he'd actually sold some pretty expensive art in his time, which made him enough money to buy the framing shop.
To get to the caravan on foot there was a secluded pedestrian path that ran parallel to the side of the road. It was overgrown and they had to take care not to get tangled in the prickly branches that had been allowed to grow wild over the quiet winter months.
Tonya – who could no longer hear Tamashi's whistles amongst the sheltered brambles – felt safe in the privacy of the path, so she decided to be brave.
Not looking him in the eye, she took a deep breath, interrupting Vish in mid-flow as he was explaining about his grandad.
"Last night in bed...you know I wouldn't have minded if you'd wanted to, well maybe you don't like me like that, but.. ah i'm messing this up. What I want to say is that, well, If you wanted to kiss me, that would be nice.."
Vish interrupted. "I like you too, Tonya, I just didn't want you to think that because you was in my bed and that last night that I was going to, you know what I mean..."
The pair stopped walking and stood in silence, looking at each other. Vish moved his face close to Tonya. The anticipation was electric as they stood close, feeling Vish's light breath.
Then he kissed her, just like that. Gently and nervously, like he wasn't sure if he should, but as Tonya kissed him back, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in tightly against his body, his helmet – still in his hand – rested against her back.
His mouth felt warm and soft against Tonya's, and gentle butterflies rose up in her stomach.
The pair walked in a comfortable silence out through the caravan park and up onto a hill at the back of the site, where they sat on an old rickety wooden bench that looked out to sea.
Tonya felt Vish looking at her with curiosity, as if he was plucking up courage to ask her something.
"Last night, when you told me about your dad, it felt like you was, I don't know how to describe it, like playing with air or sumfing. Do you know what I mean? What was that about?"
Tonya had wanted to tell Vish about what was going on but hadn't found the right words, so, with her eyes still fixed on the sea, she began to explain.
"Remember I told you my nan said something about my dad hallucinating? Well..."
Still looking out to the choppy sea, she took a deep breath, getting ready to release her secret across its salty waves.
"I think I'm getting them, too. I'm hearing stuff. Well not stuff. Someone. Someone amazing. I hope you don't think I'm mad when I tell you this, but something's going on with me, something unbelievable."
She paused, getting the courage to carry on.
Surely if she'd been brave enough to tell Vish she liked him, she could find the guts to tell him this as well. Absent-mindedly peeling the little flakes of skin from her fingers, she nervously began, and before she knew it she had told him everything, every last detail.
He looked her in the eye directly.
"For what it's worth, I don't think you're mad, not at all. I think you're probably the bravest person I've ever met, you've been through so much."
He looked down at the grassy floor around the bench, as if embarrassed at how corny that sounded out loud. He suddenly looked worried, grabbing his phone out his pocket to see the time.
"Shit, sorry Tonya, I'm late for my sister's thing."
But with the urgency of someone who wants to show someone they care, he added, "Look, I think you're probably hallucinating, but I bet that's well normal after everything you've been through. Sorry, I want to stay, but my mum is going to kill me if I miss this."
"No, of course, go, we can talk later," Tonya replied, relieved that his reaction wasn't to turn and run forever.
As if he sensed her relief, Vish sat back on the bench. Pulling her in again, he kissed her and smiled – with a sort of cute happy face that made Tonya laugh.
"Go!!" She laughed, pushing his chest playfully. "You'll be late." And with that he was off, darting along the beach front, taking her secret with him.
Tonya always felt lighter after spending time with Vish. Sharing her secrets with him was becoming a habit and it felt good. Sitting on the bench, looking out at the sea, she allowed herself to laugh out loud.
Vish had kissed her! He liked her! Even after knowing she'd been attacked by her mum's boyfriend and was friends with an invisible spirit in the sky, he hadn't treated her like she was crazy. Despite everything she'd told him, he still liked her, he still wanted to kiss her.
She hugged herself, allowing the happy feeling to wash over her. When he was fully out of sight, she slipped her hand in her pocket and pulled out the little package he'd given her, carefully unwrapping the bubble wrap.
Inside there was a tiny, beautifully carved dark wooden frame with a pencil sketch behind glass. The sketch was of them, her and Vish. They were riding his bike along the beach. He had drawn her brown curls blowing in the wind and carefully pencilled her hands wrapped around his tummy. It was a rough drawing, a bit clumsy without much detail to it, but she could tell he had worked hard on it, and once again she felt butterflies rising in her tummy.
Birdie seemed relieved to see her when she arrived back at the caravan. She said that Ruby had called up in tears and told her about the argument and announced that she was pregnant. Ruby had told her that Tonya was at her friend Diya's, but Birdie didn't seem too surprised to see her.
Tears spilled down Tonya's cheeks as she heard her nan say the word pregnant. It was like hearing the news all over again.
She was surprised to see Birdie's face crumple in worry. Despite her best efforts at shielding her nan, Tonya had managed to upset her anyway. Tonya felt guilt creeping up and tried to change the subject.
"How's Grandad, Nan? Any better?"
Extremely out of character, her brave, strong nan suddenly looked like her bones had disappeared as her body folded in on itself onto the sofa. Tears wobbled down her soft paper thin cheeks.
"Sorry, love, I'm just so worried about him. I should get back tomorrow really. I don't think it's good news. The doctors are worried about his recovery, it's moving a lot slower than it should. I think we've got to prepare ourselves for bad news."
Tonya felt guilty and slightly nauseous seeing her nan cry. She had been thinking so much about herself recently, she hadn't stopped to think how worried her nan must be. She felt a frog in her throat as she thought of her poor grandad, lying in a hospital bed. The idea that he could die filled her with dread.
Tonya made them both a cup of tea whilst Birdie rang Ruby to let her know that Tonya was with her now. Tonya got the duvet from her bedroom at the back and the two of them sat and watched an old film on the little TV in the corner of the caravan.
Under the shared cover she held Birdie's bony hand the entire time. Tonya felt too young to offer any words of support, but she wanted to show she cared, and it seemed to work. She felt her nan's body growing stronger throughout the movie. By the end of it she was up, fussing in the kitchen again, talking about what to have for dinner, pulling herself together.
Tonya felt glad her Nan wasn't probing her about the argument with her mum or how she felt about the pregnancy. She was good like that, she always gave her time.
The next morning when Tonya woke up she had five missed calls from Vish, and a text that read "Please come to my grandad's shop now!" She replied, "Whats happened? xx" Confused, she quickly got dressed and told her nan she was going into town.
When she arrived at the shop, she pushed through the door and the little bell rang out, letting Vish know she had arrived. He rushed towards her.
"I think someone's been in the shop last night! The wool from the back of the shop, it's all gone, someones been in here and taken it."
Tonya looked blankly back at him.
"What do you mean?"
Without any further conversation, Vish led Tonya to the back of the store, where the weaving looms were set up for the classes.
Tonya gasped out loud. Hanging from the ceiling of the shop was a huge three-dimensional jellyfish made from the wool that had once stacked the shelves.
Its bag-like body was made of what looked like an umbrella shaped rug with thick tentacles, woven into ropes trailing from its body. The fibres in the wool had been manipulated to curl and spiral down, coiling into piles on the wooden floorboards of the shop. The huge dome body was made of black wool and thousands of intricate images in coloured thread had been sewn in, creating a tapestry that ran across the jellyfish's body and down each tentacle.
Tonya knew immediately who the artist was, for the images sewn into the jellyfish were of Samsaras, exactly as Tamashi had described them. They were beautiful intricate scenes depicting life in the sky: the clouds; the architectural homes; the Harp; the Lucids and Akumu, formed as glass-walled triangles and hexagons; the visions held inside. It was all there in beautiful ultra-detailed scenes.
The weaving was outstanding and for a second, she stood, lost in the art, and lost for words.
Tonya thought back to the day before. She remembered hearing Tamashi with them on the way to the shop, and she hadn't heard her since. She had been too tired last night to put the fan on in the bedroom and had fallen asleep almost immediately. Tamashi must have stayed in the shop all night.
Tonya remembered Tamashi telling her how much Samsaras loved to weave with fibre left behind by plane vapour in the sky. It must have felt amazing for Tamashi to discover the bundles of wool in the shop. Tonya turned to Vish, her eyes sparkling with tears.
"It's her, Vish. It's the spirt from the sky, the Samsara I told you about. She must have made this"
Vish looked at her confused. "What wasn't you? Made what? Someone has come in and taken all the wool from the back of the shop, I'm not sure whether to wait for my Daada to get back or call the police. He's not picking up, I didn't know what to do." He raced his hand through his hair, evidently stressed.
Tonya looked at Vish, "You can't see it can you?" She pointed up at the giant jellyfish hanging from the ceiling.
"See what?".
"Vish, Tamashi took the wool. The Samsara, the spirit I told you about". Tonya watched as Vish's eyebrow arched up as she explained what she could see hanging from the ceiling. She reached out and grabbed it, holding it in her hands. The idea that Vish couldn't see what she was seeing was beyond belief.
"Tonya, it's ok, I'm not mad, but did you take the wool last night?" Tonya had never felt so shocked, "What! No! Of course not, please Vish, I swear, I'm just telling you what I can see. Tamashi must have taken the wool to make the Abakan"
"The Abakan? I don't know what you're talking about Ton? Is this part of them hallucinations you was telling me about?"
"Do you have any fans in the shop?" Vish looked confused. "Fans? Yea they use them to dry out the wood of the frames after they cut them down, but why?"
Tonya didn't explain but ran through the shop towards a huge industrial silver fan, much bigger than the tiny little plastic one she had back at the caravan. She turned it on and it immediately whirred to life.
"Tamashi are you there?" Please, be here?"
Tamashi's excited voice came back, loud and clear. "I'm here Tonya, he can't see it can he, but you can? It was amazing, when you came in the shop yesterday, I saw the wool. It reminded me so much of home, how we weave with the fibre from the sky, that I reached out and touched it. I separated the wool into thin fibres, that look like the hairs on your head, and then I made the Abakan, I couldn't believe it."
Tonya suddenly had an idea; she reached out to her head and pulled a strand of hair from her scalp. She laid it on the floor "Can you touch this Tamashi?"
She watched as the hair floated up a few inches from the shop floor.
"Tamashi, I get why you could pick up my hair grip now. It must have been wrapped in my dead hair. Here look."
She grabbed a wood shaving from the work surface and pulled more hair from her head. Carefully wrapping it round. "Can you pick this up?" she said laying it on the ground of the shop.
Tonya held her breath as the tiny wood shaving wrapped in hair from her head rose off the floor of the shop. She was about to speak when she heard Vish's from behind her.
"No way".
She turned around to see Vish starring at the hair wrapped wood shaving floating a few centimetres from the floor.
"Can you see that Vish?" Seemingly lost for words, he nodded. "It's her Vish, It's Tamashi, she can touch wool and hair. That's how she pushed the grip into Tylers eye, it makes sense now"
Vish crouched down and reached out to the air underneath the wood chipping, running his hand underneath.
"What the...how is that floating like that on it's own?"
Tonya looked at Vish, hardly believing what was happening. "Can you see the hair Vish?
Vish shook his head. "No I can't see any hair, its just a wood chipping."
Tonya looked at Vish with hope seeping through her body; hope that she wasn't like her dad, that Tamashi was real and that Vish could see the wood chipping floating in the air. Relief rushed through her as she stared at the little piece of wood, suspended just above the ground.
The pair crouched on the shop floor, starring at the tiny wood chipping suspended magically in the air as Tonya explained what was going on.
Just then the bell from the door jangled and Vish's grandfather called out from the top of the shop."Vishnu, you back there?"
The wood chipping dropped immediately to the ground and before they had a moment to discuss what to do, he had made his way towards them both. He stopped still. Silence fell. Tonya and Vish watched his face fall in shock. He raced to the back of the shop.
"What the..." he staggered, "Where is all the wool?" he said with a straight serious face, looking at Vish like he was about to be in a lot of trouble.
"I'm so sorry, Dadaa, I've been trying to call you, I came in this morning and all the wool was gone."
His grandad looked taken aback.
"It's not possible, I locked up, and theres no sign of break in?
Vish shook his head, and with a quick glance at Tonya he said, "No, I don't get it either, I'm so sorry."
Vish's grandfather looked at his face, searching him for answers "It's ok Vish, it's not your fault, I'll call the police. As long as you are ok, that's the main thing, no one's hurt, its only wool, it's more mysterious than anything isn't it?
--
Later that night Tonya was alone with Tamashi, at the back of the caravan, with the little fan switched on to its highest setting.
"I think when you pick up hair it somehow disappears from our world and goes into yours. That's why Vish couldn't see your artwork or the hair wrapped around the wood chip, but that still doesn't explain why I can see it."
Tamashi responded, with a hopeful tone to her voice. "I just can't believe Vish saw the floating chip, do you think that means others would as well?"
"I'm not sure, we could try if you like? Do you want me to try to tell other people about you Tamashi? I could wrap things in hair and wool, and you could lift them?"
There was a pause before she answered,
"I'm not sure Tonya, what good would it do for people to know about me? They would probably think of you as a magician, a girl who's mastered a clever trick, but do you really think they will believe you when you tell them who I actually am? If they can't see me? And if they did? What good would that do anyway? Isn't it enough to know that Vish saw? To know that I'm not inside your mind."
Tonya smiled and nodded, "Yes, it's amazing, it's more than I'd ever hoped for."
As the wind in the little fan whirred Tamashi's voice sounded clearer and more human than ever.
"Tonya, I've been thinking about something. Do you think there is a reason that you can hear me when no one else can? That you can see the Abakans?"
Tonya looked down at her fingers and picked the skin off.
"I don't know Tamashi, I honestly don't know, but I have this strange feeling inside that i'm going to find out."