TW: Emotional, Swearing, Self harm, suicidal attempt/themes. PLEASE read at your own risk 💖
Blitzo's POV:
I looked up at the night sky acting as a pitch black blanket covering over the pride ring. It was cloudy tonight so there wasn't a star in the sky to be seen.
I was standing on top of the I.M.P building, at the edge.
I've looked at the top of the building before... hell I've been up here before, tempted to run of the edge of the building and be done with it. It's not like anyone would notice or care. Besides it's better for everyone if I just wasn't here, or ever was.
I first came up here about four months ago looking over IMP city. The first thought that came to mind when I neared the edge was if I just went for it. It wasn't that impulsive feeling where you're at a high place and you kinda want to jump. No this made me scared yet, calm at the same time.
These thoughts got worse and it seeped into me actually hurting myself. I had darker thoughts and actions and I should've been scared. Anyone should be and would. But I wasn't. And that scared me... I would almost always feel broken and that no one could fix me. I don't tell people my problems because I feel like I can handle them and I don't want to drag them down into my deep, dark, painful mess.
I don't want to hurt anyone I care about. And if me just being in their life is doing so, then I'll put a stop to it.
However I wanted to put a stop to it now. I was done with hurting anyone and everyone that ever mattered in my life. All I had to do was jump. Like ripping off a band aid.
So then why was it so hard?
Why did I have this feeling in my gut that this was wrong. This wasn't the answer. This wasn't what I wanted, or what anyone wanted. Why did I feel like people would care. Why?
This was probably just me being selfish because while I do hate myself, this wasn't something that I really want to do. I don't exactly want to die, but I want to at the same time.
I guess I just don't want anyone else getting hurt anymore because of me. But I was being selfish staying alive and continuously causing them pain.
As I looked down at the empty lifeless street I felt a buzzing in my pocket.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and saw the contact name.
LoonyPoo🧡🧡🧡
Why in hell was Loona calling me?
With a sigh I answered it and pressed the phone against the side of my head.
"Yes Loona?" I asked.
"Blitz! Where the fuck are you??" Loona asked sounding panicked.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Yeah I'm fine. Where are you? No one knows where you're at and they're all looking for you." She said.
"Who is?"
"Everyone! Millie, Moxxie, Prince Stolas, myself! What the fuck are you doing!?" She yelled through the phone. They were looking for me? Why?
"Just... stop looking for me please. You're not going to-"
"DAD!" I whipped my head around and saw Loona behind me with her phone dropped next to her feet.
"Loona?"
"What the fuck are you doing?" She asked taking a step closer.
"Loona please..." I said with tears brimming my eyes.
"Dad... please just come down here... please." She told me with tears rolling down her cheeks.
I reluctantly closed my eyes tightly and stepped down.
"Loona I'm-" I started but was attacked by a hug making me stiff. I soon relaxed and hugged her back tightly as we cried.
"Loona I'm so sorry." I said quietly while crying.
"Stop it. Don't apologize please. I'm not mad." She said. I sniffled and forced a quiet sad laugh.
"You called me dad." I said. I don't know why but saying that only made me cry more.
"Yeah.." She mumbled quietly. "What were you doing. Why were you doing that?" She asked and pulled away from the hug scanning my face.
"I just don't want to hurt any of you anymore. Nobody would care anyway." I said quietly while wiping some tears from my face.
"You're not hurting anyone...other than our targets, but what would make you think that any of us wouldn't give a fuck if you weren't here anymore??" Loona asked with her hands on my shoulders.
"I just thought... everything would be better if I was gone. I thought maybe I could cause everyone less pain..." I said.
"No one thinks that of you. If anything you're helping quite a few people. Especially me..." She responded, the last bit quieter.
"Really?" I asked not convinced.
"Yes."
"I'm sorry Loony." I said again.
"Stop apologizing." She said. I looked at her and forced a small smile but my attention was soon brought to someone behind her.
"Blitz?" Stolas said quietly.
"Hey hoots." I said while Loona moved aside to let me walk to Stolas. He bent down and immediately started scanning me moving me around to get a look.
"Are you okay? What happened?" He asked soon stopping and looking at me while holding my hands. My words got stuck in my throat and all I could do was cry.
Did they really care this much about me?
He pulled me in for a hug and hugged me tightly. And I hugged back just as tight afraid to let him go.
"I'm so sorry Stolas." I whispered.
"Don't apologize dear. Why don't we go home and get some rest." Stolas whispered and picked me up.
"I called M&M and told them we found you dad." I heard Loona say.
"Sounds good." I said and felt my eyelids getting heavier. I was a lot more tired than I realized. I haven't slept in three days, what do I expect?
"Maybe... just maybe it is best if I stay." I thought to myself with a smile as we headed back to my apartment.
A/N: Thank you for reading. I wanted to come out with something that wasn't as lovey dovey. If this was a bit much for you I completely understand.
Some fanart because this story was kinda sad 💖
Again thank you so much for reading :)
All fanart goes to their respected owners. None of it is mine or connected to me whatsoever. :)