AISHA
I woke up with a nauseous stomach at noon no less.
Picking up my phone I saw texts and a missed call from Aadi from over an hour ago.
AADVIK: landed. I'll call you from the cab in a bit.
AADVIK: *missed call*
AADVIK: Isha? Are you sleeping?
AADVIK: call me when you wake up.
I rubbed my eyes and smiled at my phone reading the multiple other texts.
Quickly, I brushed my teeth and woke myself up with my skincare. Dialling his number I went into the kitchen to make my favourite spinach corn sandwiches.
After a couple rings a sleepy figure covered my phone's screen.
He wore no shirt so a little bit of his chest showed when he moved making the comforter slip. He smirked at me checking him out. God, how badly I wanted to wipe that smirk off with a kiss.
"Good morning to you Mrs.Ahuja" his words caused my stomach to churn with butterflies just like always.
"Good night to you Mr.Ahuja." I smiled up at him.
We continued to talk and he laughed yet again when I managed to burn my sandwich after raving about how good of a cook I am. I was a good cook but with Shilpa aunty's help I managed to cook less and less, it's not like I had the time to anyway with the company's sudden boom. I had now gotten out of practice so on days like today when Aunty was on leave a minor burning of food was normal.
After an hour I ended the call because it was very late for him in New York and he had meetings the next day.
I mentally prepared myself to do what I had to do. Driving to that house felt like prison, the last time I went there was on the day of Vedant's engagement and that too to give them the wedding invitation and pickup some important papers for my office.
I parked the car in the driveway and sat there for the next 15 minutes preparing myself for what I was about to do.
Entering the house, I felt the same eeriness I always do. I went straight to the living room where my father always is on Saturdays. Fortunately my father had a rule to never drink on Saturdays making it sure I'd have him sober for this conversation.
He sat there on the sofa, his laptop on the centre table as he focused on the news playing in the TV in front of him.
"Good afternoon, Aisha. Is everything okay? You could've called I would have gotten lunch made for you too." He tried to talk as if everything was normal.
"No. Nothing is okay, Dad" I reminded him in a stern tone.
"Are you or are you not going to drink at the wedding?" I cut to the point.
"As I said, I might." He said with finality and turned back to the news.
"Dad, I told you this that day. If you chose to drink again I am no longer your daughter, did I not?"
"You did." He said with certainty
"Well, I am no longer your daughter. You may come to my wedding but as nothing more than guests." I said.
I know the chances of me regretting my decision are high but I also was done. Done with this weight on my chest of guilt of not being good enough. Not good enough for my dad to stop drinking. Not good enough for my mom to stop criticising my every move and be grateful to have me. I was moving on with a new life and it was time to ridden myself of the guilts of my past. I wanted my parents in my life and at my wedding but not at the cost of this pain.
My dad stood there shook while my mother came into the view from the kitchen behind him.
"Aisha Arora, that is no way to talk to your father! I knew those Ahuja's would make you crazy-"
She ran towards me and showed those eyes wide of anger just like she did when I was a child.
"Please don't act like you care if you're there or not or about him right now."
"Ishu! We are your parents. We are going to be there for your wedding as your parents too!" My dad yelled as he stood up from the couch.
"No. I told you. I told you clearly when I left this home that if you ever drank again I would no longer accept you as my father. You agreed to it the day you stopped drinking. Now I no longer accept you as a father because you were the one who chose alcohol over me your whole life."
Both of them stood there with shock and visible anger filling them.
"I heard somewhere that father's go crazy when they find out their daughters aren't as forgiving as their wives." I said remembering the quote I read coincidentally on the day I left this house.
"Mom forgave you but she also turned herself to steel hurting me in the process too."
Their faces were now filled with guilt as the magnitude of my words sinked in.
"Aisha, I'm sorry." My dad said, his voice low.
"You said that when you came into my room after fighting with mom. You said that after every wrong thing you've ever done but there's more to do after saying sorry and you never did that. I have come to know those words mean nothing to you so no, I do not forgive you. Bye." With that I left the house and drove away.
I drove for hours before coming back to the penthouse. Driving was always a good distraction for me. I focused on the swift turns and carefully timed indicators instead of my problems.
I went straight to my roof the sun setting behind the cloudy sky.
This was the place I came to when my brain engulfed me in its thoughts. Sitting in front of the ending day gave me clarity, it gave me tranquility. This is one of the reasons I bought a penthouse instead of an apartment.
I had no family in contact with me except my parents. I used to have a huge family, with cousins and love until my parents cut off contact with them when I was barely 18. My daddu, the best man I ever met, mere bade papa aur badi maa, my second and true pair of parents who shaped me into who I am today. Lastly, my favourite twins, Aashi Didi and Sidharth Bhaiya they were 5 years older than me and they were more like my siblings than cousins since we kind of lived together.
Our family basically lived together in houses side by side and had the same business until Dad's fight with Daddu separated us when I was 18. I was strictly told to cut off any and all contact with everyone, my mother ensured it when she deleted numbers, social medias of my cousins from my phone.
Luckily I had jotted down my grandfather's number before she deleted and kept it saved in my passwords but I never had the courage to talk to him.
I dialled the number, my hands shaking as I swiped my fingers across the screen.
He picked up in a couple hurried rings.
"Ishu beta." He said in his sweet voice which I missed terribly the past years.
He was the one to give me my nickname and to hear him say it made my heart whole again.
"Daddu. Aapko kaise pata chala mai hu?" I asked as tears threatened to stream down my face.
"Meri bachi ka number hai save kaise nahi rakhuga? Waise abh Aisha wo choti si bachi kaha reh gayi. Abh to wo Tranquil Decorators ki founder hai." He said. I was sure he had one of his cheeky smiles on his face.
"Daddu, mai humesha aapki choti bachi rahugi."
"Acha to ye bhi batade kya hua? Teri ye dukhi awaaz sunkar agar poocha naa to mai kis kaam ka?"
I recapped everything that happened in the past month to him.
"Tune jo kiya, sahi kiya. Kal aa jaa humare paas. Unn dono ko to mai dekh luga par apni bachi ki shaadi ke liye hum sabh to hai naa? Aashi bhi aayi hui hai Mumbai se. Mere bache tere paas hum hai saath me humesha."
His words reassured me. I never thought that after the fight they would hate me but I never thought that they would accept me back so easily.
He gave me a last goodbye and ended the call. I was filled with guilt, anger, happiness all at the same time.
When I came down Shilpa Aunty had already started on dinner, I had told her about the wedding a couple days ago and she even attended my engagement for a bit. She insisted on making elaborate dinners till the wedding as her goodbye gift. Today she made Shahi paneer and naan with her special raita. Even though I'm not a huge foodie her and badi maa's food always made me go nuts. I helped her make the naan, my skills had improved a little since the last time.
We had a nice chat while we ate dinner and then I went in my room to pack while she cleaned up.
The wedding was on 21st of January, the events would begin 5 days prior and it was already the 6th. If I didn't pack within 3 days, I would be leaving half my belongings here.
We would also be having all the functions at a resort an hour away so it only made sense to stay there for the wedding instead of moving every second so I had to pack for all that too.
With a shot of espresso I got to work starting in my closet. I opened up suitcases and began taking out and folding my work clothes first since I would need them the least. Not even halfway through the first bag my phone rang.
I accepted the call and immediately two happy faces of Ruhi and Niya showed up on my screen.
"Helloooo" they sang, their terrible voices making my ears shake.
"Hello cuties" I quipped trying to not make my worries be visible.
I was better than I was a couple hours ago but my face was still tensed from everything and these two would see right through it.
"What did you do today?" Niya asked like always.
I couldn't hold it in anymore the rant needed to come out.
"Headphones" I told them, they were sitting in the living room and I didn't want anyone to overhear, specially mom and dad I wanted to talk to them later with Aadvik.
I told them the everything about how my father drank, how I left home after collage and today.
"You are the strongest woman ever, Aisha and just like you tell us, it's your life and you should do what what makes you happy." Ruhi comforted me.
What did I do to have these incredible people in my life?
After a bit more talking Vedant came into the living room and swiped his wife away. He already knew since I called him up after Daddu's call. Niya too ended the call when she got one from Kunal.
I got back to packing but before I even packed 5 more pieces my phone rang again but this time my smile grew huge as I swiped up on the call.
Me and Aadi talked for a while about different things before I finally told him about today's incidents.
"Isha, I'm proud of you." was all he said in reply to my rant.
"Well I'm not. Yes they hurt me but they're also my parents right? And I've come out stronger, tougher and wiser through all that."
"You would've been stronger, tougher and wiser either way Isha, you didn't need to be traumatised to become who you are today. Don't undermine your hurt because of guilt."
I have spent my whole life caring for others, making sure others don't get hurt even if it kills me in the process. I have bent backwards just so someone could walk over me. I wasn't wanted so I became needed. His words brought light to my eyes. He is the first person to care about my wants, my needs without anything in return.
"I miss you and I wanna talk about something else." the words rolled off my tongue just as a tear flowed through my eyes.
He spent the next hour making me laugh as we talked about so many topics.
By the end of my night only one suitcase had been packed and I was ready for bed.