Hey guys!! Ok, new part! Guys, I had trouble writing this part up for some reason, but hope it still turned out ok! Anyway, this part follows Additional Chapter: FIVE WEEKS LATER. So this is the continuation from that part. I've had a bit of brain fog this week, maybe it's writer block, so I may take a little longer with the next part, maybe a little more over a week, or two weeks. The next part will be Sarah, JJ and Rafe. Anyways, guys let me know anything and have a good week!! And enjoy!!
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After Additional Chapter: FIVE WEEKS LATER.
What had he done… yeah, he really wished he could go back in time so he could undo a few things… he'd really knew he’d messed up…
Rafe had spent the night alone sobering up in his cell. And with all the voices, alcohol, weed spiralling around his system, swishing around in his brain, his thinking was pretty incoherent, he could barely stay focused on a thing. Words buzz infinitely around, echoing conversations he’d wished they'd go away, and the pain throbbing against his skull was something else. Bruises colored his face, his nose ached from the hits he’d taken from JJ. He sniffles, and spits blood out to the side. He bites back his lip hard, trying to remain focused… he needed to leave- he needed to go to Kie- all the emotions tugging at his chest were a force, pulling at him, longing to be near her… he needed to know how she was- if she was ok… if he’d hurt her…
All the noises floating around in his brain made it all the more harder for him to think, but they’d always come back to someone… to Kie… the thoughts always gravitated back to Kie… how he treated her made him feel ill- shameful of himself… guilt, together with all the alcohol swishing around in his gut, turned his stomach, making him feel nauseous- he thinks he's going to be sick- a sick noise fills his throat, and he pulls himself forward and begins to spill thick fluid out.
His gaze comes up, and the room spins with intermingling colors- he couldn’t escape all the guilt pooling incredibly fast in his gut, overwhelming him, he finds himself hunched over again, spewing all the mess left else in his gut out a second time…
He gradually scoots himself back up into the same sitting position, wearily pulling himself up using his strong arms, pressing his palms up against the rough wall, until he’d settled himself back into a sitting position. He heaves out a deep groan, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth. Fuck, his gut felt terrible...
Pressing his back up against the cold wall, he starts to think about her more… what she’d last said to him in particularly comes back, making his stomach tight again….
He waits for the feeling to fade, before he tilts his head back, dropping it back against the wall, rocking it side to side, trying to mellow the roaring in his head… until he’d eventually fallen asleep.
Worst position to be waiting on Kie to bail him out… yeah- he’d thought he quite well deserved it with how he’d treated Kie… but he couldn’t help how he’d felt- he needed to see her, and time had been dragging on painfully slow.
While he waited, he’d thought about everything. He swallows roughly… she was going to have his baby… they were her words. The thoughts shot through him, twisting at his insides again- but this time he manages to hold it back…
The words echo endlessing in his mind, they had hit him hard… not because he didn't want this with Kie, but because he honestly felt scared about it all… he was about to be a dad…? Shit… He heaves in a deep breath, needing to calm his pulse…
Fuck. Whether he was ready for this or not- it doesn’t matter, he’d better man up… for Kie… for them… for his and her baby… he had to be ready to do this… to be a good father, a strong one… but he still wonders- what kind of father would he be? He sure as hell can't be like Ward- he needed to do better than his own dad ever did for him. He could do better than Ward… Rafe is more eagar, more determined when he thinks about the kind of father he wants to be, he swears he’d never follow Ward's examples- not anymore. He'd never be the kind of father figure Ward had been to him, no… but, the thoughts still hound him- come back to him, could he do this?... he couldn’t even pull his shit together when he’d been trying with Kie… Fuck!... no no no no, he’d do anything to grow a family with Kie- so, he just needed to work on himself- needed to work harder, keep his mind clear, head focused- for them... Family was everything to Rafe, it always had been. And now, his surprised- he never knew he'd somehow already started to build one of his own. He’d needs to go back to therapy… needs to seek the help he needed… get better… he’d make all those steps to assure he’d stay in the right path, because he was going to get this right… and keep his family together… unlike Ward could do. Rafe would do anything for them, for Kie, for their life together with their child… and when he thinks of Kie and how she'd brightened his world- made him feel like he was worthy of something… he wanted even more to show her he could do better, he could be good, and be better man...
When he wakes, he squeezes his eyes open to the sound of metal clanging. He holds his temple, groaning as he’d moved. He hears guards conversing with one another, and then next their distant footsteps echo down the hallway. Rafe swallows thickly, shifts a little faster to pull himself up onto his feet, using the wall to help hoist him as he slides back up the wall - hoping desperately to see Kiara’s face turn that corner and brighten his prospects. He hobbles over closer to the metal bars- leaning against the metal poles, blinking, and then peaking past the bars to get a better look, capturing a glimpse of two figures as they came into view, making their way toward his cell… the quickened drum of his heart changes dramatically to a fierce drop. Someone he’d least expected… someone he’d loathed entirely, and had really not wanted to see… the guards escort JJ, wrists chained, guiding him toward Rafe’s cell.
Rafe clutches his fists to his head, cursing to himself. He feels a wave of dizziness come over him… shiiiit… not what he’d needed-
Rafe steps aside as they’d stopped outside his cell, his eyes flickering over the two, fists clenched at his sides, before they land back on the guard with a questioning look.
“Brought you an American buddy, my good man. To keep ya’ company.” the guard explains with a light chuckle. “How’s ya’ head, pal?”
Rafe rolls his eyes away, ignoring him. He shoots JJ a hardened look, before he looks away again. He starts pacing his cell with a slight limp to his right leg, agitated. The guard inserts the key into the lock and unlocks the door, letting JJ step through.
Rafe’s gaze travels back and forth between JJ and the guard, offended to see JJ breathing up his space. His gaze grows scathing, and he thinks he’s about to lose his mind. JJ glares back with intensity, clenching his teeth.
Literally, Rafe can’t take this anymore- he runs a hand through his hair- “Nah, shit-” he slurs tiredly “Excuse me-” he calls to the guard, who’s locking the door. “Hey, I ahhh can’t have him here-” he tries, which the guard ignores Rafe's attempt.
JJ was standing in his space, and the door was now locked behind him… the air in his lungs felt constrained and tightened- he tries again, swiveled toward the guard who'd started wandering off.
“Hey- 'ey- 'ey ” Rafe calls after the guard. “Hey!” He tries again, but his met with silence again. The guard pushes a door open further down the hallway, and disappears into a dispatch room. “I can’t have him ‘ere, ok?! He's not a friend, alright? Could you move him somewhere away from me, please-” His voice echoes down the hallway, but Rafe receives no response.
“Fuck- shit.” Rafe curses, kicking the metal bench in the small room, stubbing his toe hard against the metal side, and starts cursing even more to himself.
Rafe sucks in a sharp breath, and turns back to face JJ, opening his mouth… then shutting it… holding himself back from starting up another major war. The air was suffocating him. He runs a hand over his face quickly, and turns his back to JJ again, not knowing what to do with this situation.
JJ glares at Rafe’s back, slumping himself down onto the hard ground, leaning his back up against the cool wall.
“They won’t listen to you- dumbshit.” JJ grumbles. He settles himself in his spot- he didn’t know how long they’d be stuck here. “I got myself in here, ok? On purpose. Kiara wasn’t 'happy' about it, but what choice did I have, huh? It's not like I want to be here- infact, this is like living a true nightmare… but- as insane as this is gonna sound- this may be the only way I could actually get across to you... talk to you properly.”
Rafe heaves in another deep breath. The mention of Kiara’s name… he needs to know- how she was?- but, also, he can't ask 'JJ' that- not him- he could spare himself the humiliation-
JJ’s teeth clench thinking Rafe wasn't listening. Rafe stays quiet. JJ rubs the back of his neck frantically, agitated. He finally looks up and finds Rafe holding his face in his hands, burying it into his palms. “It’s about her, ok?… Kiara… you need to listen- this is important… so listen carefully, ok?...” he rolls his eyes, when Rafe doesn’t utter a response. “She could be in a load of trouble, ok?.” JJ grits his teeth, losing his patience.
Rafe’s brows pinch together and his gaze travels to JJ slowly, narrowing on him.
Oh good, his finally listening- are JJ's thoughts, and he sighs.
“What the hell do you mean?” Rafe growls, angrily.
JJ considers where he should start.
“Do you even remember anything of what happened last night… Do you remember anything of what she told you? O-or, maybe even of what Barry said?”
JJ tries reading Rafe, assessing if he'd had a hint of memory.
A softened emotion changes in Rafe’s eyes, welling something in his eyes, and JJ could tell he remembered something… whatever it was, it had a good deal of significance to Rafe.
“I got a shit load to tell you… it’ll take some time to explain all the details, but you gonna need to listen…” JJ pauses, finding it hard to get through the words lodged in his throat… he presses himself on. His brows dip with focus… “That said- the hard part ummm… ahhh… that ahhh… we may… we may need to find some way that we all could possibly work together... as a team.”
Rafe returns a look, eyeing him suspiciously… he had better be joking… right?