COURTNEY'S POV
"You fought my battles, let me fight your battles too. No matter the outcome, I'll be here to help you overcome it."
I kept hearing Chad's encouraging words repeated in my head like a mantra. His words gave me the confidence to face my past and confront the things that had been holding me back.
In this case, Jeremy.
In all fairness to Chad, he didn't push me to do this. He simply gave me the idea and allowed me to make my own decision. He also told me that it was my choice to make the changes I wanted in my life.
But this time, he promised to stay by my side throughout the process. He truly supported me and showed true care and understanding. Look at what he did. He even went the extra mile to find out where Jeremy lives for me.
He really and truly cares about me.
I couldn't help but feel more and more in love with him.
And the more it sinks in, the more I want to be the best version of myself, not just for me, but for him too.
Yes, at this point, I really wanted to tell him all my feelings, but I wanted to start fresh. This time, no more guilt and secrets to hide. I want to be proud of who I am, without fear or shame weighing me down.
So, I knew the first thing I had to do before I could express my feelings was to feel good about myself. I had to make sure I was in a place of self-love and acceptance before I could truly open up to him. I had to make peace with my past and forgive myself for the mistakes I had made.
I needed to work on myself and make sure I was in a good place before giving all of me to him again.
Only then could I tell him how much I loved him and start over with a clean slate.
So with that, I decided to walk straight up to Jeremy's house and face him all by myself.
I rang the doorbell, and I could feel my heart racing as I waited for him to answer.
When the door finally opened, I saw the look of surprise on Jeremy's face. He was clearly shocked to see me there.
Well, in all honesty, never in a million years did I think I would do something like this, apologizing. I did not even think I would stand on the doorstep of someone I messed up with and try to make amends.
Overall, it felt so... satisfying. Even if the outcome won't be as positive, I knew I had done the right thing, and that was enough for me.
"Hello, Jeremy." I let out a small smile, proud of myself for having the courage to speak up.
Step one is done!
"Courtney Collins? What the hell are you doing here?" His voice was a mixture of disbelief and irritated. He closed the door behind him and looked around the patio, taking in the sight of me standing there.
His eyes were wide and his face twisted in annoyance as he tried to make sense of the situation.
Honestly, I don't remember how he really looked like before. I only saw him two or three times at school, but one thing's for sure, he didn't look so stressed out like this. He always smiled whenever we crossed paths and he seems to be a jolly person, too.
It's such a shame thinking I may have made him like this.
"I'm here to apologize for all the things I did to you. I'm so sorry for putting you in such a difficult situation." I said each words with a heavy heart and regret in my voice.
Jeremy looked at me as if he was trying to process what I had just said, and trying to decide whether or not to believe me.
Well, I wouldn't blame him. I'd prove myself to be too convincing with my words that you couldn't even differentiate the truth from lies.
Also, I made a huge impact on his future and hurt him in ways I can never understand. But I was determined to make things right, and prove that I was truly sorry.
"I know there's no amount of apology to make up for it, that will cover up for the pain I caused you, but I want you to know that I am truly sorry for what I did. I really wish I could take it all back and make things right."
Jeremy didn't look impressed. He stared at me for a long time before speaking. "Do you honestly think I'd fall for that again? I'm not sure why you're doing this. Maybe you finally got exposed after what I did to your boyfriend. Maybe you're here to ask me to clear your name. No, Courtney. You deserve whatever is coming to you. Karma might be late, but damn it serves. I was the only one who took the fall and it cost me my scholarship, while you and your gang continue to rule the school as if nothing went wrong. You are in your own bubble, not really thinking about the people you ruined and hurt. So whatever happened, you deserve it. My life is already ruined, I don't have anything to offer you so leave me out of it."
He was furious. His words were hurtful, like a knife piercing me, but I took them all in. Because it's true and I needed to hear that. "You're right. I was in my own bubble and didn't even know what happened to you until Troy told me about the camp. And you may not believe this, but I felt terribly guilty. To the point that I was willing to do anything to make up for it, even if it meant giving up my own future for it."
Jeremy's brows furrowed as he listened to me. "What do you mean?"
I was hesitant to tell him what I did, he might think I was only looking for sympathy or what. But since I was determined to make things right, being honest and open were the things I was willing to do.
"I don't know if saying these things will make any difference at all. But, after I heard the whole story, guilt consumed me, and I knew I had to do something to make it right. So I decided to drop out of school because I didn't deserve any of it, let alone graduate. Not when I know I have ruined yours."
"What? But why?" Jeremy shrieked, as if he didn't expect me to make such a drastic decision.
"What do you mean why? That's only fair, isn't it?" I reasoned out. "Besides, I won't be able to make it to senior year anyway without you--you jeopardize your future for it. And what they did to you was not fair, they should have made me face the consequences too. So, though it's late, I took the matter into my hands and do what I think I deserve."
This time, it was my turn to look surprised when Jeremy started laughing. "Who knew the great Courtney Collins had a conscience buried deep inside her dark soul?"
Instead of feeling offended, I found myself laughing along with him. "I know right? I guess, even I didn't know I have one. Honestly, I was too consumed by the perfect world I had created for myself that I didn't realize I had a blind spot until someone pointed it out."
"Someone?" Jeremy asked in a curious tone.
I smiled at him and proudly answered his question. "Yeah, someone. It took someone to believe who I really am and dig around in the depths of my dark soul to bring my conscience and real self to the surface."
My smile got wider as I said that someone's name. "His name is Chad Treyson."
"Chad Treyson? Is he the?"
"Yeah. Ironically, this year, I still haven't changed. I tried to do the same trick. But instead of giving in, he put me in my place. He showed me that sometimes, I can't always get what I want. He showed me that I have to learn to accept that not everyone is going to say yes to my requests."
"Good for him." Jeremy commented, his voice sad. "I fell for all your lies, you know. I was blinded by your beauty. It was easy to give in."
"I know and I'm sorry that I have to do that. I thought using my popularity and beauty would help me get anything that I want. I'm not proud of it." I took a deep sigh and continued. "You know, when everyone only saw my outward appearance, Chad saw beyond that. He saw the real me, and he accepted me for who I was. That's why I fell for him. He saw something in me that no one else did, even myself."
"He really changed you, huh?"
I shook my head no. "He didn't try to change me. I changed because I realized that the person I was before was not who I wanted to be."
"Wow. What a lucky guy." Jeremy commented. I looked at him and finally saw a genuine smile on his face. He wasn't looking at me, but at someone past my shoulder. I turned to see he was staring at Chad.
Chad was standing feet away from us. He was talking to someone over the phone and raised his hand, waving. I smiled and waved back before turning my attention back to Jeremy.
"I am the lucky one, Jeremy. I'm lucky to have him. When I gave up on myself, he didn't. He believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself. He taught me that one mistake doesn't define a person, and we shouldn't be too harsh on ourselves. It was an eye opener, really. And I owe everything to him."
Jeremy looked at me with admiration and understanding in his eyes. "Thank you, Courtney." His voice was full of emotion as he smiled at me. "Thank you for coming here and putting an end to my hatred in life and bringing some peace back into my heart."
I could feel my heart swelling with happiness at Jeremy's words. I didn't expect this. I just wanted to come here and let him know how sorry I was. But this was more than I could have ever asked for.
"Thank you for making me believe that there is still goodness in this world and the beauty of second chances. Courtney, thank you for your sincerity. I forgive you." I could see the relief in Jeremy's eyes as he said this, like he was now able to move forward with his life and find true peace.
Me too.
His thank you meant the world to me and his appreciation for my small gesture was heartwarming and humbling.
It's true. Even the smallest of gestures can make a big difference in someone's life.
I hugged him and whispered, "Thank you, Jeremy. This means so much to me."
He hugged me back and laughed softly, "No, thank you. You gave me hope when I had none."
-END OF CHAPTER 64-
A/N: Let there be love <3
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