A few days have passed ever since the awards dinner, and Cole and I have hardly talked.
I felt horrible. I know that it wasn't my fault- at all, but I still felt like shit that he hasn't spoken to me.. "you okay?" Jackie asks and I shake my head, "I can't believe he hasn't talked to you still," Grace comments, shrugging. "Are you guys still together?" I nod.
"As far as I'm aware.." Jackie frowns, "I'm sure there is nothing to worry about, try talking to him today at the rodeo!" I nod, "sure."
I go into my closet, grabbing my hat and placing it on my head, "alrighty, how do I look?" I ask, walking out of the closet as if I was on a cat walk.
Grace smiles, "oh my god you look hot!" I laugh, "thanks?" "She's right you look hot," Jackie nods.
Her fit :
"How can Cole possibly ignore you today?" Grace says, looking me up and down, "I know right! He has to talk to her now!!" I laugh, "okay, I am running away now." I say, running out the door and down stairs.
Katherine spots me running down, "look at you!! You look adorable," she smiles, "coffee?" I nod, "sure why not."
I take the cup from her hands, "thank you." Nathan walks in, "morning mom." "Morning sweetie, did you take your meds today?" Nathan sighs, "you don't have to ask me everyday mom.."
"I know- I know.. I'm sorry," the door bell rings, I go to answer it but Nathan stops me, "that should be Skylar, I got it," I nod, stepping back into the kitchen. Katherine smiles, digging through her mail and just like that, her smile fades.
"Are you oka-" Skylar and Nathan rush back in, "we're going to the fair mom, I love you," "hi Doctor Walter, bye Doctor Walter!" "I told you to call me Katherine Skylar!"
"Okayy Doctor Katherine," I laugh, walking after them, "did you charge your phone Nathan?" "Yes."
"Okay, thanks for looking out for him," Katherine tells Skylar, "mom!" Nathan complains. He walks out, "thank you" she whispers and Skylar nods. She turns to me, "have you talked to Cole yet?" I shake my head, "did I do something wrong?"
She grabs my arms, looking directly into my eyes, "of course not, this is his own decision, try to talk to him today. I'm sure he will respond." She winks and I laugh. "Okay, I should go," she nods and I tip my hat, she laughs and turns to go find George just as I leave.
***
I walk around, kicking at the dirt, I have been here for an hour and can't seem to find Cole. "You good Mackenzie?" "No I can't find Cole-" Jackie points behind me and I turn my head. Cole. Staring right back at me nervously. I thank Jackie and quickly walk over to Cole, "hey."
He gulps, "hey Kenzi," we sit in silence. He sighs, "I'm sorry- I really shouldn't have been mad at you when it was my fault, I'm the one who chose to show up drunk.." I smile, "I was never mad at you Cole, I understand why you were upset," I walk up to him, wrapping my arms around neck. He places his hands on my hips, "this is why I love you," he whispers.
"Oh that's the only reason?" I tease, he glares down at me, "you know that's not the only reason." He leans down and our lips immediately press together. "Okay love birds, are we going to watch this show or not?" Jackie teases and I laugh, Cole rolls his eyes and kisses me one more time, releasing my hips.
I sigh, settling my arms by my side and grab Cole's hand, rushing him so we can see Alex ride. "He's really good," I smile, "I know right?" Jackie says looking mesmerized. Alex finished cleanly, Jackie and I cheer.
"Wanna go get something to eat?" Cole asks and I nod, "I'll see you later Jackie?" She nods. Cole grabs me by my waist, hoisting me up in the air and spinning me around, I giggle. "Cole! You're such a dork," I laugh, he sets me down, taking me by the hand and twirling me. "You look hot, I like the dress," he smirks. "Thank youu," I scrunch up my nose, laughing. "That is so fucking cute."
He grabs my hat, running off, "Cole!" I groan, running after him. He runs so far, and even with his limp I fell so far back, I pause to breathe, "Jesus," I mumble. "You okay?" He comes rushing back quickly, I nod, "yes I'm fine," I look up, smirking and grab my hat quickly, placing it back on my head.
"Well played Howard, well played," he looks around, "how about a bull ride? Think you can beat me?" I grin, "oh please I can beat you in my sleep." Cole and I walk over to the mechanical bull and goes first, he lasted a solid ten seconds before flying off. I laugh, "that was all?" He scoffs, "as if you could do better."
"Is that a challenge?" I ask, "it most certainly is."
I flick his hat and the crowed hollers, "let's go Mackenzie!!" I hear Nathan and Skylar yell as I climb up, grabbing onto the handle with just one hand and held down my hat with the other. "Ready?" The man asks and I nod, signaling that he can start. He nods, switching the bull on. It started off slow, which was normal, but it quickly sped up.
Usually I probably would have fallen off as soon as I got on but I was so set on beating Cole that I held on tighter. "Kenzi Kenzi Kenzi Kenzi!" The crowd cheered. I fell off after thirty seconds, "yes!" I yelled, crawling out and walking over to Cole, "who's the queen now?"
"Okay okay, I take it back, you definitely won that," he laughs, wrapping his arm around my waist and leading me to actually get food. "What did you want?" I looked around, "a hot dog is fine." We walk over to where to were offering hot dogs but when I went to pay, the guy shrugged, "the winner of the bull ride should win a free hot dog," I smile, "how sweet! Thank you so much," I wave, Cole and I walking off to find a seat.
"Can I have a bite?" I roll my eyes, "really? You couldn't have gotten your own?" He shook his head, "why get my own when I can have a bite of yours?" He smiles. "Fine," I shove it towards his face and he opens his mouth, taking a bite.
"Ah! That's enough," I take my hot dog back, taking a bite out of it.
I finish my food, throwing the paper in the trash can. "You are so beautiful.." he whispers. I smile, "you never fail to make me fall deeper in love with you," I say shaking my head, "I'm glad to hear to that.." he places his hand on the side of my face, pulling me in and placing a kiss on my lips. I smile widely, I was so happy..
Maybe this is what I needed.. what I really needed to be happy, maybe this was where I was meant to be and what I was meant to do. Who I was meant to be with.
***
I walk into my room, seeing Jackie talking to herself in the mirror. "What are you up to?" I ask, laughing. "Oh hey Kenz, I am practicing for my interview." "Interview? What for?"
"Princeton.." I gasp, "oh my god! You're going to an interview for Princeton?!" She smiles and nods. "Congrats Jackie! I'm so happy for you!" I run up and hug her, "what are you guys up to?" Danny asks, "I'm practicing for my interview." "What's that?" I ask him.
"It's uh from Juilliard.." Jackie and I look at each other, smiling from ear to ear. "That so cool! Did you get in?" I ask. "I don't know.." "you haven't opened it?!" He shakes his head. He hands it to Jackie and I stand right next to her and she opens it, she reads it over, a smile growing on both our faces. "I got in?!" He questions. "You got in!" We say in unison.
"I- how would I go? It's not like I have anywhere to stay in New York and I definitely don't have enough money for an apartment..."
Jackie thinks, "I'll call Uncle Richard!" I roll my eyes, of course she will. "He has so many bedrooms, I'm sure he wouldn't mind you staying! And I bet you he knows somewhere you can work to help cover your tuition." "Really?" She nods.
"Really?" "Really. Theres no way you're not going," he smiles, "okay, thank you!" He hugs her and rushes out. "Okay, I'm going to go to bed, day two of the rodeo and all," I say, "you can continue practicing. She smiles, going back to sit in front of the mirror, practicing her heart out.
***
Day two of the rodeo fit : (imagine shorter boots)
"You okay?" I ask Jackie as she paces around the room, "I'm nervous about my interview," "wait it's today?" She nods.
"You aren't coming to watch Alex today?" She shakes her head, "I have already told him, so it's nothing to worry about, but I'm so nervous it's eating me!" She groans. "You'll do great, I have absolutely no worries about you at all," she smiles, "thanks."
"Hey, how you feeling?" Alex barges in, "I'm nervous, are you nervous?" "Nah, I just have to ride like I did yesterday," "you're gonna crush it."
Jackie grabs her things, shoving them into the bag, "yeah well, I'm more excited about going to the concert tonight." "We've never gone to a county fair concert," she motions to us both, putting her bag on. "You guys have not lived, I'll meet you there?" "Yeah, Danny is going to be picking me up after the interview."
"Yeah, after you crush it," they high five and Jackie smiles, kissing his cheek and running off. "
"You coming to the rodeo?" I roll my eyes, "no Alex, I wear this for fun," he laughs, "alright. Come on." I smile, heading for the door.
***
I stand next to Cole by the fence, watching Alex carefully, "he's doing really good so far," he nods. "Yeah, he is." Alex starts off strong, doing the course just as well as he did yesterday when all of a sudden the reins snap. I gasp, "oh my god."
Cole straights up, running to meet Alex as he walks out of the rink. I sprint after him, I felt horrible for Alex.
Cole pats at the horse "hey it's okay," he whispers. "What are you trying to kill me?" I stare at the both of them, confused. "What?"
Alex throws the broken rein at Cole, "you didn't double check the rein. It snapped."
"I checked it three times.." Cole mumbles, looking at the reins, "it's the riders responsibility to check it to y'know?"
"I did," Alex says, worried, "then you know it was fine?"
"Whatever.. it's over so you can go, I don't need your help anymore," he motions to Cole and the reins. "Look! Right here, the leathers worn thin. Okay? It probably snapped around the turn, but you aren't going to admit that, are you?" I didn't know what to say, so I stayed quiet.
"Oh that's rich. Coming from the guy who never takes responsibility for his own actions, ever."
"Look Alex, I know you don't think much of me, but I hope you know I would never do anything to deliberately hurt my brother." Cole's voice cracks, this wasn't the best time I had expected for this to happen, but it was. And I wasn't going to stop it, they needed to talk it out.
"Oh really? Cause that's exactly what you've been doing my entire life!" "What are you talking about?? The Paige thing?! That happened years ago!" Alex rolls his eyes, "that was my first girlfriend! How could you?!"
"I didn't know about you guys!! Why can't you just give me the benefit of the doubt just for once instead of always assuming the worst! I didn't know I was gone-" "all summer, yeah I know I've heard the story before!"
"And this is so much more than the Paige thing, it's how you waltz around and plant flags all around without ever considering who the casualties are!"
Cole and Alex stare at each other, both not saying a word. "I have lived my entire life, in your shadow," Alex says. "Do you know how hard that is? You get all the attention, you're the charming one. Everyone wants to hang out with Mr. football star, the most popular kid in school."
"Do you even have any idea what it's like for me to live in your shadow Alex?" "My shadow?" "Yes! Your shadow, the perfect Alex Walter, so smart, kind, so reliable, nobody makes mom and dad prouder. Do you even know how often I wish I was just a little bit more like you?"
Alex scoffs, backing away, "look at me man, my grades are tanking, my leg is totaled, football was my shot, and now it's gone. Any chance I had in a scholarship is dead. And well I mean, you said it. I peaked sophomore year right?" Alex's face softens, I can tell he feels bad. This is what they needed, they needed to do, how they needed to do it.
"Cole I- I didn't mean that," "yeah well you were right. I'm a worthless loser." "My rehab costed mom and dad a fortune and for what? I'm still a failure and a disappointment."
"Don't say that," Alex stops him.
"You hear me? You are not a failure. And you are not a disappointment. You are Cole Walter, and you are my brother."
"And even if I want to kill you sometimes, nothing will ever change that."
"You probably won't believe me, but I'm sorry Alex," he nods, "I'm sorry too." They both nod and Cole turns to me, I smile at him and he laughs, "let's get this tack put away," he says and switches his hat with a cowboy hat.
After they take the horses tack off, Cole and I lead him into the trailer, making sure he's tied up properly. "I'm glad you and Alex made up." He nods, "yeah" "you know you've never been a disappointment right? Or a failure," I turn to him and he shrugs. "I don't know Mackenzie," my face softens and I pull him into a hug. "I love you," he wraps his arms around my waist, "I love you too Kenz."
***
"Hey, Danny is busy and Jackie needs a ride to the concert from her interview," Katherine says, worriedly, "and I have to get to the clinic, can one of you go get her," I shake my head, "I was about to meet Serenity at her place." "Cole?" I ask and he lifts his head, "uh yeah sure." He grabs his keys, heading out the door."
"Thank you," Katherine says and I nod, grabbing another set of keys and heading out to the car.
***
"Mackenzie!" Serenity screams, running out of her house and crashing into me, "oh geez hi!" I laugh. "I need to know everything, I heard you and Cole are finally together when did this happen?!" I smile, "let's get inside first." She nods, rushing me inside and into her room.
We sit on her bed and she waits for me to spill, "okay basically, Cole and I had been getting closer lately," she nods, already knowing that.
"Remember when Nathan had a seizure?" "Yeah of course I do," "well the night he came back, I went for a walk and got lost. So I called Jackie but she didn't answer, and then I called the house phone and Cole picked up the phone."
"I told him what I could see and he immediately knew where I was and told me to just stay put. He came, picked me up and we got into a bit of an argument, well- disagreement. I got out of the car in the pouring rain.."
She sits anxiously, awaiting for the big part to happen, "we.. basically kissed in the rain- then he asked me to be his girlfriend." She jumps up and down, not being able to control herself, standing and bouncing.
"What are you doing?" I laugh, "I don't know, I can't help myself, I'm so glad you guys are together. And- oh my god I completely forgot, you're friends with Erin now!" I nod. "How did that happen?"
"Well, she came up to me after the bonfire and pretty much apologized, I told her she could sit with us at our table and she was really happy about it. And she's not even mad I'm with Cole."
"Damnn so much has happened, I was sick like three days-" I laugh, falling onto my back in defeat. My phone rings and I groan, grabbing it. "What's up Alex?" "Hey Kenz, I just wanted to let you know our plans for going to the concert flunked, Cole's car broke down. Will and I are on our way to get them, we will see you tomorrow."
"Okay, thanks for letting me know," "yeah of course." He hangs up. "What was that about?" "Alex, he was letting me know that Cole's car broke down when he was picking Jackie up, so they went to get them."
"Oh that's sweet," I nod, "yeah it is, wanna play a game?" "Yes! I'll go get some board games!!" I laugh, rolling over on my stomach.
Today was so complicated but also a lot of fun. I can't believe Jackie went for an interview, I bet she'll get in. There is no doubt in my mind.