Alana's been acting so weird lately. It's been a week since I killed Damian, nobody suspected a thing. They left the killer unmarked and buried his body already. Thank god I got out of that one, I need to stay out of jail to protect her. I've been more scared after she got kidnapped, and actually I think that's why she's been so off.
I finish getting dressed by the dryer, hearing her silent screams and sobs. My heart drops, I run downstairs to her room quickly. She's curled up against the wall under her window, whispering to herself. She's really scaring me.
"Alana!" I call for her, she doesn't move. Nor react. She's.. in a trance? Is she this badly scarred from Damian? She jumps when I touch her, looking up at me. Her eyes are like glass. She scoots away, cowering from me. "Baby! What's wrong? You're terrifying me!"
I try to talk with her, try my best. But somethings not right, she's out of it. Her eyes look dazed. Has she been taking something? "Alana." I call her name again as she stares blankly at me, not one emotion. I feel my eyes well up with tears as she stays still like a statue.
"Baby, answer me. Do something!" I cry, sinking to my knees infront of her. She looks away, tearing up. Is she back? She throws her head into her lap, curling up in a ball. She sobs hard. "Baby! Please." I beg, struggling to stay calm. She looks up at me, swallowing hard.
"Tom." She whispers, scooting closer finally. She lets her knees go down, throwing her arms around my neck. I wrap mine around her torso, squeezing her. Picking her up off the floor, she wraps her legs around my waist. Sobbing into my shoulder, she trembles like mad. "Tom- I- I can't stop having these daytime nightmares, they never stop. I don't know what to do!"
She cries, squeezing my whole body. It clicks. I understand now, she really was in a trance. Like an episode of trama response. Oh my poor girl, this is so bad. I didn't wish this ever. "Calm down, baby. Breathe, breathe slowly for me." I whisper, rubbing her back with my right hand. She hiccups, sniffling. I can tell she's struggling to breathe slowly.
I bring her to her bed, laying her down carefully. Running my fingers through her hair, trying to calm Al down. She just doesn't. Fuck, what do I even do? I got to ask her about it, I'm so curious. "Are you alright now, my love? Can you breathe okay?" I analyze her whole body, searching for signs of something to panic about. But nothing.
Her breathing is shakey, but I think she's better. She sits up, her sobbing has died down to little cries out here and there. She reaches for my hand, okay. Slow start but we're getting there. God that's so relieving. I watch her eyes, they aren't crying consistent tears. That's good.
"They never go away." She tells me, I panic. "What doesn't, baby?" Her eyes gloss over again, shit. "The nightmares." I tilt my head, swallowing. Trying to not show that I'm freaking the fuck out right now.
"What happens in the nightmares?" I ask her, softly. Trying to learn something about these horrid nightmares. "It's endless," She pauses. "It starts with you, I can tell you the first time. Then the second, then it bleeds to Damian and what he did. I run down this hallway everytime and the floors melt and I fall back to square one, it's endless." She repeats, I look at her, trying to figure out how this can be triggered?
How can I avoid it? "Is it random?" She nods, looking down at my chest. I slip off my hoodie I brought with me, dressing her in it. Letting her warm up because she's only dressed in a T-shirt and she's shivering. God, Alana. You're so dumb to yourself sometimes.
I lay her against her pillows, sitting next to her. Criss crossed. She wraps her arms around herself in my hoodie, this makes me feel a little better. The nightmares however make me sick to my stomach. I'm in them? Do I hurt her? I hope not.
"What am I doing in these nightmares, baby?" She shakes her head instantly, squeezing her eyes shut just remembering it. Jesus Christ this is horrible. "Y-You always hurt me. Once, we got into a fight and you ended up pushing me to the ground. Your foot was digging into my back until I looked back and-"
She pauses, inhaling theatricality. "And it was Damian, and he ended up whipping me. But I woke up before it got worse. You were in front of me then, you apologized. I asked why, you ended up shooting me. The last one, I was the one with the gun and I shot you." Hearing this horrible story is making my stomach turn.
Is this from me? She knows I'm in a gang, she seen me hold the gun. I feel like I'm going to vomit. She's having nightmares because of me too. It's my fault, I shouldn't have told her anything. I could've spared her these nightmares and trama. All those scars on her body. The light scar on her cheek, the deep scar on her thigh, the little scratch scars on her back and neck.
It's all my fault. I feel horrible, she's in the state because of me. "Oh Alana, I'm such a shitty person. I've put you through all this." I cry, throwing myself into her. Hugging her tight. She squirms her arms out, wrapping them around my neck. She plays with braids as I cry, my heart in pieces. The girl I love is so hurt and traumatized. And now I can't do anything else about it.
I get a wiff of her scent, calming instantly. I rest my head on her shoulder, fidgeting with her hair. My fingertips caressing her ends. "I'm so sorry, Alana." She hums, her fingernails dragging through each row on my scalp. "I'm sorry I put you through all this, you didn't deserve it." She shakes her head, resting it against the wall.
"It was worth it." I sit up, looking her deep in those pretty green eyes of hers. "Worth it?" She nods, closing her eyes. "How?" Looking back at me, her eyes are filled with delight. Love, how can she still love me after everything I've put her through? "Because I get to be with you."
My heart shatters, she'd call it worth it to get beaten and cry forever about it just for me?
"Alana, you can't be serious. You can find someone else just as good as me who won't put you through hell, I promise." She shakes her head, her smile grows. A part of me is really happy to see that. The other part is burning for me to leave her, let her heal and let her find someone else. "No, Tom. I can't. I don't want 'someone else', I want you. And that's it."
I nibble the inside of my cheek, is she crazy about me like I am about her? "Why me?" I didn't think I'd be asking her this, but I really must know. She scoffs at me like I'm stupid, I knew I shouldn't have asked.
"Why? Tom aren't you aware how well you treat me? You're the best I've ever had in my life. You really grew on me, you used to be that normal classmate but you've really earned your place. And you think I'm just going to let you go? You're dumb if you think that. I would not give you up, not ever."
I can't help but tear up at her words, hugging her again. I sob into her neck, kissing it and squeezing her. I hug her like I don't ever want to let her go. Because I don't. She pets my head like I'm a dog, but I like it. It feels nice, her soft hand. She kisses my forehead, god I love her so much. Ever since I met her, she's always been my crush. I knew I'd get her sometime.
Even in class, I could only stare at her. She's so beautiful, she makes me so happy. And now that she's in my arms, she's my world. I pull away, admiring her perfect face. Trying not to keep crying but I just can't, even her face just makes me cry, she's so perfect. Her soft hands again, wiping my face. Swiping away my tears. "Oh Tom, don't cry." She whispers, planting a kiss on my cheek.
I can't help but smile at it, which makes her smile. That makes me feel good, seeing her pretty smile light up again. Oh how she's so perfect. "We'll figure it out, just don't worry for me." Alana whispers, cupping my face. I frown.
"I can't not worry about you, Alana. That's not as easy as it sounds to you." She giggles. "I know, but you can tough it out for me." I chuckle, at least she's not abnormal. Even with all these nightmares in her head. I just hope it'll all fall into place the way I want it to.
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I wake up to the sounds of Alana crying again, I sit up immediately. Fear rushing through my veins like my own blood. I listen real close, realizing she's in the bathroom. I jump from her bed, running over to her bathroom. "Baby?" She sniffles. "Yeah?" Her voice is strained, is she in pain?
"Is everything okay?" I swallow, listening close. Please, please don't lie to me, Alana. "No, can you fetch me some panties? The big kind?" I twist my head, panties? What for? Then it dawns on me. My whole body melts with relief, I sigh. "Sure my love, which drawer?" I hear her little exhale of her own relief, which makes me smile.
"The first one." I walk away, going to her dresser. Opening the first drawer, I notice thongs and big panties. One pile on the left, one pile on the right. I grab the one's she wanted, walking back to her. I knock on the door. "You can come in, dummy." She laughs, I slowly twist the handle and keep my head low.
"Tom stop being ridiculous." She almost dies laughing, looking at me as I struggle to close the door again. I finally look up, she's hunched over on the toilet. "Should I go?" I ask, feeling weary. She shakes her head, spinning her hand in a motion for me to turn around. I do, covering my eyes too. Just incase.
I hear some ripping, but I stay put until I get the cue I can turn back around. After about 5 minutes, she allows me to turn around. By now she's on her feet, her pants pulled up. Her other hand behind her back. The one I assume holding her underwear. I blink at her, sort of a "What am I supposed to do now?" kind of look. She laughs.
"Well move!" I throw my hands up like I'll be arrested, laughing. "Yes ma'am!" She shakes her head, running the cold water. I sit on the edge of the tub, looking away from her. I can hear her as she washes her panties, I wait for her patiently. Finally, she tells me she's alright to leave. I get up, following her like a puppy as she goes to her kitchen.
I lean against the counter by the sink, watching her do her thing. She goes to the fridge, taking out a pack of strawberrys. I perk up, hoping she's going to share. She waddles to me, snuggling into me as she opens it. I can smell the freshness of them and it's killing me. I put my arm around her shoulder, trying to distract myself because I have a feeling she won't be sharing.
She takes a bite from a huge strawberry, struggling to chew it. She looks up at me, smiling at me with it in her teeth. I giggle, pushing her chin so she'll chew it. I watch Alana try not to laugh as she chews it, taking out a big one. She hands it up to me, I gasp happily. "For me?" She nods, a stupid look on her face that I can only laugh at. "Why thank you, sweet girl." I laugh, kissing her head.
She laughs too, turning around. She sets the container on the counter, wrapping her arms around my stomach as she looks up at me. I try to take small bites, this thing is huge. For a good minute, I really hadn't noticed her staring at me eating. I finally look down at her, munching on the strawberry happily.
Nothing could be better to me, a good snack with my favorite girl? Sounds like paradise to me. Alana nuzzles her face into my shirt, giving me shivers. She laughs at me, chewing on another strawberry. As she does, she takes another one and brings it to my lips, feeding me. I nibble on her fingers to tease her, which only makes her smile.
She swats my nose, making me laugh. "Tom! You're such a dog." I giggle. "Well you're feeding me like one, what am I supposed to do?" I tease. "Not bite me!" She laughs, squeezing my cheek. I roll my eyes sassily, making her laugh more. She doubles over laughing hard, I can only think how cute her laugh is.
Fuck I really want her, and I haven't even truly made her mine. What am I doing with my life? She's gotta be truly mine, but I have to make it special. Maybe if she's feeling better tonight I'll take her out..
******
*Alana's POV*
"Just do it!" He shouts, his hands on his hips. "But Tom! What about my.. well! You know!" He sighs, throwing his head back. "Then- just wear something black. I know you have something nice and black in that packed closet of yours!"
I groan, walking to it. Sliding the door open and searching through. I can't find anything, until I see it. The perfect dress. It isn't black but it's dark enough if something happens, and quite frankly, it's my favorite dress.
"Okay, turn around!" I instruct, making sure he actually does. He throws himself on my bed, his back facing me. I trust him now, turning around. I slip off my pants and shirt, even my bra. I can't wear it with this but this dress is padded so I'm safe.
I slip it up, checking to see that you can't see my pad in the back. You can't. Thank god. "Okay you can turn around." I tell him, excited to see his reaction to this dress. I wonder if he'll think it's too goth? He sits up, turning around. I watch his eyes go wide, a smirk finds his lips. I walk closer, his eyes go all down my body and back up, totally staring at my thighs.
"You like it?" I ask him softly, running my hands down his neck. He swallows hard, looking up at me. "It's such a shame you're having your girl week, that dress wouldn't last a chance."
I laugh, kissing his forehead. "Yeah, sure is a shame. You still aren't getting in my pants anytime soon." He scoffs, standing to his feet. I feel my face slowly heat up as he towers over me, those thoughts flash over my mind. Tom could easily dominate me. Fuck, I love that.
As much as I tease him about having sex with me, if he actually asked me, I would easily let him. He smirks, bringing his hand to my lip. Swiping his thumb on my bottom lip, his eyes locked with my lips. "Admit it, Smith. You'd let me fuck you if I asked, I can see that look in your eyes."
I pretend he's crazy, shoving his chest. "Yeah right!" I exclaim, meanwhile in my head I'm screaming yes. Yes, yes Tom! Dominate me and make me a- Well, maybe I have an issue. Whatever. "C'mon! I'm excited to see where we're going!" I demand, Tom laughs, shaking his head.
Recently he's been taking his car here, so I get to be passenger princess. And surprisingly, he has a really nice car. It's a Cadillac, real nice leather seats and his steering wheel even has a warmer! Isn't that nice? He walks me out to the passenger side, opening the door for me. He helps me in, smirking at me. Closing the door, I watch as he walks.
He's just so delicious, I need a real taste. Snapping out of my thoughts when he gets in with me, starting the car. He places his hand on my thigh, rubbing his sweetly. I can't stop thinking about where he'll be taking me. It have so many guesses but I'm sure none of them are right.
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"Okay don't open your eyes until I say, okay?" He demands me, I nod my head. Hearing him get out of the car, he made me close my eyes 5 minutes ago, I'm still so lost. I hear my door open, hands on my arm. He helps me carefully out of the car, looping our arms together.
"Try not to fall, love." He tells me softly, guiding me onto sand. I hear the crash of the waves as we get closer, smiling wide. "Tom you act as though I can't hear." He laughs. "I know, open your eyes." Opening my eyes, I've truly never seen anything more beautiful.
This is a spot on the beaches I've never been, the water so blue. So clear, you can see the life beneath the surface. The trees are so green, gently waving in the breeze with fruit. It was almost as we were on a tropical island, but we aren't. "Tom- This is-" He finished for me. "Beautiful? I know, I knew you'd like it."
He smiles softly watching me take it all in, my eyes wide. Pupils probably bigger than the moon. Lips slightly parted in amazement. Who knew Germany could have such beautiful spots? "Bill and I used to live around here, was our favorite spot as kids. Made our summers real fun."
Tom informs, sitting himself on a log not far from me.
I slip off my heels which are already covered in sand, tossing them to him. He surprisingly catches them without even looking, laughing about it. "Go in the water, trust me." He grins, waving me on. I squint at him but go anyways, the second the water hits my feet I'm in shock. Warm, warm waters like the Gulf Of Mexico by the states.
I've only been once, it was warm. But this is so much warmer. I turn back to Tom, who's got the softest eyes I've ever seen. I almost melt with him. "Warm, huh?" He calls, smiling big. I nod, stepping in until the water's just barely above my knees. This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, who knew Tom could acquire such good spots?
He walks over to me, his shoes off too. I watch him hike his pants up to his knees, it makes me laugh. He steps in the water with me, by the time he reaches me, the water is only to his shins. Yes, he's this tall compared to me. See what I'm saying? No wonder I'm dreaming so much of him above me. The cervix bruising is real.
I'm a twig compared to his muscular build, he could snap me like a pencil if he wanted to. I watch his eyes in the orange-ish sunlight, he walks to me. Cupping my face, he leans down and kisses me. So slow, sweet, I almost fainted on the spot. When he pulls away, he looks sort of nervous. But why?
Tom looks out to the water, then back at me. "Alana, you know I love you, yeah?" I nod, his nervousness is starting to pass to me. What is he planning? "Yes, why?" He steps somehow closer, now I can feel his breathing on my face, even in the breeze. He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, holding his hand at my jaw.
His expression goes soft, and it's now that I'm really wondering what he's thinking. He rubs his thumb on my skin, smiling. "Well, I figured after all this time and I hadn't made you mine, it pissed me off. So, will you be my girlfriend?" I giggle at his words, but also feeling so dazed. Like I'm in a dream. Be his girlfriend? Like officially? "Yes!" I shout, smiling huge.
He grins just as huge, leaning down and kissing me. It feels like this kiss is different, something is even more romantic than any of the other ones. Like he really, really means this. I kiss back with just as romance as I feel, noticing us getting a little carried away. But that's alright. Young love is meant for that.
Finally, he pulls away from me. Pecking my lips just one more time to be measured evenly. He laughs, looking back at the ocean. I just watch him, his face. The way the sun shines on it, extenuating all his good features. The big lips of his, his strong cheek bones, his eyes, his nose, his bushy eyebrows. I don't think he could be any more perfect. Even his pierced ears, I never knew I'd like that but he makes everything look so good. How couldn't I after Tom's worn it?
He looks back down at me, raising an eyebrow with a smirk. "Lost or something?" He jokes, I giggle. Shaking my head. "No, just admiring." His eyes wander down my body and back up quickly, I feel so hypnotized by his look. "You have no idea how happy I am, Al."
His voice is soft, quiet, smooth like honey. The sweet taste of him enchants me, like I was made to be with him. The way our bodies fit perfectly against one another, the personality match. I sometimes find myself wondering if it was meant to be.
"C'mon, let's go get ice cream. It's hot out here." He tugs my hand, bringing me out of the water. The breeze is cold on my legs now, giving me chills. I stand for a second on the wet sand so I can dry, while Tom doesn't mind at all.
"What're you doing?" He asks, picking up our shoes from by the log. I smile, a stupid grin on my face. "Drying off." Tom shakes his head, laughing. I laugh too, turning back to the ocean. I can't get over how nice this place is..