Sign in✨ This one sweet🥹.
📍ST HUGHS HIGH SCHOOL
Z A R A
ᴢᴀʀᴀ
"This is Zara literally five minutes before the Literature Exam!" Gina shouts playfully. She has the latest iPhone recording me.
"Girll," I mug her and look away using my hand to block my face. My eyes still fixed on the book leaves.
Poor you.
She laughs. "Only exam can mek Zara head look so."
She's right.
I didn't comb my hair. Neither did I straighten it. It's just in four granny plaits, each flowing down to my shoulders and curls at the end. My natural baby hair makes it slightly cute.
"Only Zara can pull this off," Zanne laughs.
I ignore them.
Trying to read the last two pages of The Tempest. I feel so unprepared. I have Nickoi's threat in mind as well.
I can't fail this.
It's been two days. He hasn't responded to my message. It makes me wonder if my mother was right. I don't want to double text, even though I really want to.
All this is distracting. It's so hard to focus on the books. Thankfully, our teacher felt sick and moved the exam to this day so we could get the chance to be prepared.
Are you though?
Nope. I'm still not done reading.
This has never happened to me.
I'm always organized.
Always prepared.
I'm not in the best of moods and I'm nervous about my exam.
"How you feel bout the exam Zara?" Gina ask again.
"Mi nuh knowww.." I whine.
"Zara you're literally Lit Top Performer fi five years straight. Weh yaw worry bout?" Anna chimes in.
"That's exactly why I feel pressured. The expectations, the threats, the fact that the exam starts in two minutes and mi nuh read the last page yet," I heave a sigh.
"What is one page Zara? Get up and come on man," Gina says.
I look up at our class.
Our classmates are gathered outside while Mr. McKenzie walks through ensuring that they're exam ready.
My heart skips.
"Why Mr. McKenzie affi a invigilate we?" I kiss my teeth.
"Zara it cya be Ms. Henny. Worst everybody a say a you a har favorite student," Anna retorts. I stand from our chill spot, pick up my bag then my book.
"The man strict. The last time him invigilate my exam the man make mi ketch anxiety attack," I tell them.
They laugh.
"It's facts eno...you can't even side eye, him wah yuh look dung inna the paper fi the 3 hours. Torture, and you know say when a exam time we tend to stare out a space? Him nah allow it," I rant going up the stairs.
"Yeah him strict bad," Zanne agrees.
"Fi say him is a young Teacher," Anna adds. Gina doesn't seem to have much interaction with him seeing that she transferred from Knox College.
We met her in Grade 9.
She was so shy.
"Him look good still," Zanne mutters, making us laugh. She's always into older men. It's her kink.
"That man a bout 25," Anna tells her.
"Eeeh," she laughs.
"Junior go choke yuh," Gina grins.
Nickoi mentioned Junior before. His older brother I think.
"How old is Junior?" I ask even though their mother already told me.
"20," she smiles.
"Girl," I widen my eyes.
"Zara don't start cause yuh man just one year younger," Zanne blast me. I laugh. We reach the back of the line, now speaking quietly.
I roll my eyes playfully.
"I know he's his bigger brother. But me never see him," I say softly.
Zanne turns to Anna. "Nuh tomorrow dem a have the house party?"
Nickoi told me about that.
I didn't even remember about it. I don't even think I'm going.
He isn't even talking to me. My message is still left on unread.
Don't bother with this petty shit.
"That dem say yes but it nuh confirmed yet," she answers. I turn my attention back to the teacher.
"No borrowing nah go gwaan so make sure you have your own things," I hear him say. "As beautiful ladies it nuh cute fi a borrow."
"Hear sir," Breon laughs.
Talia smiling.
I cut my eyes at her. My spirit drops just by her sight. I turn my attention back to Anna when I hear her say.
"All now she cya grab none a we. Bout she a take it outside."
"Coward," Zanne chuckles.
I laugh. "Eeeh. She just bad with her mouth."
"She try choose peace cause me nuh deal with gyal with mercy," Anna speaks coldly. She's a fighter. Always down once someone tries to violate.
That doesn't happen often though.
We aren't trouble makers. Plus, they know how Anna gets when she fights.
So they don't try to provoke us.
"Exactly," I laugh.
"What's the talking for?" Mr. Mackenzie speaks. I immediately know it's me he's talking.
I turn.
He walks pass me. His cologne has a fresh aroma. It's very strong too. Definitely a head turner.
"No watch," I hear him say. Everyone looks at him in disbelief.
"Wah do yuh sir?" Anna ask.
I turn around, listening as he takes their watch one by one.
"Sir you're overdoing it," Talia and her friends says with a laugh. They enjoy conversations with him it seems.
He looks over his shoulder at them.
I heard he's a soldier too.
So they say. I don't care much. He smiles and says. "At Uwi. You can't sit the exam if you're wearing a watch. Neither can you enter with a purse. Even if they see what's inside. You want me to get ridiculous?"
"Really?" Jinelle gasp.
"Mi nuh bother wah go deh," Shanoya laughs.
Another nuff girl in my class. It's so many of them and their ig can't even match their attitude.
One thing fi sure, a one baddie group with lone hot gyal!
Dem cyaa test we nuh day.
And that's on Mary had a little lamb!
First of all, we don't have to do too much. Cause we done look good already.
We just wah bathe and step out.
"Yes really, time is going. So drop all the watches in this bag," he speaks firmly.
I stare at him.
He's rich in melanin. Eyebrows lined up, beard neatly trimmed. He dresses sharp too. He's a bit too tight. Blue long sleeved shirt, it hugs his muscles. Pants does the same. Caramel brown belt and brown shoes.
Why him dress up like this at an all girl's school?
Most of the girls are clearly blushing.
"Drop the watch inside," it takes me a few seconds to notice that he's speaking to me. He holds up the Poly bag.
"So what if someone else has a watch like mine?" I ask, still managing to sound respectful.
"That's why you have a smart invigilator," he smirks.
He's tall too.
What does he mean by that?
He takes my watch and rip a masking tape with his teeth. His hazel eyes fixed with mine. My heart races. I look down. He press it against it then he tells me to write my name. I take the marker and scribble Zara.
"Thanks ma'am," he speaks low. He moves to the next person.
I stare to see if he's the same with the other girls. Surprisingly, he isn't. He gets to the point with them.
But he's a natural flirt.
When he's through, he orders us to enter the exam room.
"Take a seat quietly. In Csec you look for your candidate number. Since this is just a Mock exam. Just take a seat," his voice echoes throughout the room.
I choose to sit in the middle row.
Thank God a nuh last name him use like Mr. Asshole.
Cya bother fi deh a the extreme back again.
I breathe out and take a seat. Soon as I'm settled in, I start praying. Usually, I'm confident. I don't feel close to that. I just want to get over this.
My prayer last for a minute. I pop my eyes open.
He's issuing the exam papers.
I realize that I still have my phone and bag on me. I stand and walk to the teacher's desk and put my bag down next to the pile.
The phones are on the desk too.
I go to my seat.
He hands the paper to me. "Don't turn it over until I say so," he puts the booklet on it right after. I hand $100 to him. The booklets are for $50.
I click my pen, eyes on the question paper. I'm trying so hard to see if I can make out words from the other side.
I look away when he hands $500 back to me.
A cya dissa man ya a Maths teacher.
"Sir?" I call. I'm sure he heard me, he continues to walk as if he didn't hear me calling him.
When the exam starts, I flick the paper over with anxiety pressing down my heart. Excitement fills my eyes. The questions are so easy.
I dance internally.
Maybe I love English Literature too much.
I pick up my pen and start scribbling. Singing internally to my favorite Jhene Aiko songs, while composing the perfect essay.
I'm currently internally singing On The Way with him on my mind. It's like a live recap of our relationship going on in my mind.
Smiling, I take a deep breath.
So this is love?
I write til' my hands are hurting.
At one point, I need more papers. I can't believe I finished the booklet pages. Now I'm on my last essay.
I can't stop thinking about him..
Is he thinking about me?
Focus!
I know for sure I reached all the criteria for the first two essays on Section A and B—The Poetry and Drama sections. Now I'm at Section C, Prose. I feel like purposely messing up the essay. Well, the conclusion. I'll probably lose two marks.
Are you serious right now?
Yupp.
I smile to myself and purposely write the last paragraph a little rough. Not my typical standard.
Then I put the pen down.
"Sir?" I raise my hand. "I'm done."
"No, don't say that. You finish.." he smiles.
I—
He realizes that I caught on to his weird response and adds. "You have 30 minutes left Ms. Williams. Check over."
"I want to use the bathroom," I say.
Everyone is still working in silence.
"Zara ready fi claim her number one spot as usual," Jinelle smiles. I can't fathom if she's genuine or not.
I just smile.
"Take the paper to me," he says and I stand. I give my friends a friendly smile and take my paper to Mr. McKenzie.
I walk out with my eyebrows pulled together. Did he just grip my hand?
Maybe it's my mind.
I'll convince myself that, that's the case. Cause ain't no way he's trying to scar me. I use the bathroom and get flashbacks.
This is where I met Nickoi.
In a very compromising manner..
He was so mean at first. Now he's so...sweet. I deal with my business then I walk to the sink to wash my hands.
When I get back to class, everyone is handing their paper to Mr. McKenzie before leaving. He stops me.
"We a wait outside Zara," Zanne says. Then they step out.
I look back at Mr. McKenzie.
"You didn't write your name on your paper," he says and I let out a gasp.
"Anxiety does that," I mutter and scribble my name on the page.
I look up to see him just staring.
It isn't normal.
"Good penmanship Ms. Williams, you'd be a good teacher," he smirks.
"Thanks," I simply say. "That's what I want to be actually."
"Oh, really?" he raises his eyebrows. "Which one of the schools? Uwi or Mico is a great choice."
I nod and dip my hand in my pocket. "You made a mistake."
"How?" He keeps looking behind him. I hand the $500 to him. The way he's acting right now makes it obvious that it's not a mistake.
"I should get $50 not $500," I say.
He laughs. "Oh, uh—I was doing too much. You are honest though. I think you deserve it."
"It's fine," I shake my head no.
"I insist," he basically forces it in my palms. "The new paper money is a bit hard to grasp as well."
Wah do deh pervert man ya?
I stare at him with a plain expression. Then I turn and head out. He doesn't say anything. I can feel his eyes on me.
My friends waiting on the stairs.
I make my way down to them. They're talking about an upcoming Carnival party that they want to go to. Anna telling them about designers.
I slip the $500 on the floor. Someone will find it. Someone who wants it. I don't want anything from that man.
Right, my mother will give me money.
And you have man..
"Which Carnival party?" I chime in.
A mind tells me to look up. When I do, he's looking down at me with a blank expression. My heart races. I walk away quickly.
***
Nick's POV
📍Orion's Gold Club
"Estoy listo para irme," Cataleya's breathy voice says as she stretch her arms around me. Hugging me in the middle of a club.
(I'm ready to go)
Jah know.
I lose my vibe immediately. I don't think she understands how annoying she makes me.
I'm tired of her already.
Mi nuh think mi can do this.
I told my father that this wouldn't work. He insisted that it's just a façade. No feelings involved.
Jah know youth.
I drag the spliff hard and exhale through my nose. My eyes roams the Club as I try to gather my thoughts.
All I can hear is my father's voice saying 'it's good for the business financially and for potential clients. We're just reinforcing social ties, social ties, social ties. He drilled in my head.
I stare ahead coldly.
The club is a vibe. Everyone moving as Kraft and Valiant performs Thief.
I look down at her when she speaks again.
"I said I'm ready," she speaks English this time. I understood the first time. She snakes her arms around me, her grip firm.
"Ah," I say.
I don't even know what this is. Am I supposed to act like this girl is my woman?
I can't even stand her.
Jah know.
"Finally," she rolls her eyes and turn.
She's pretty yes. My eyes drops to her ass, moving as she walks. Sexy too. I just don't want her. I take a breath, allowing her to lead me through the crowd of gangsters and bad bitches.
Only elites come to the Gold Club.
"Move up," she snaps at someone who wasn't moving.
We get outside. I see Big head staring. He's my bodyguard. I was standing next to him earlier. I signal him that I'm good and walk away.
Knowing Bighead he's still watching my back.
That's what my father pays him for.
I turn and see that she's already climbing in my Jaguar. I walk around. I pull the door and get in too. She pulls at the vape and hold my face.
"Bill nuh," I push her back. My hand slips down in her cleavage. Her breast warm. I slip my hand down.
She kneels in the seat. "Nickoi...can you stop acting like you're not into me?"
I'm not.
"You want the truth?" I meet her eyes. Her face softens.
"Go ahead nigga. Hurt my feelings," her lips falls into a thin line.
"Mi nuh want yuh," I say coldly. "I don't want you, No te quiero, Je ne veux pas de to—" she interrupts me.
(I don't want you)
"I get it. Just take me to the house," she turns in the seat. "I bet I'll change your mind when you see this ass up close and personal."
My phone rings. I pick up the immediately, blocking out Cataleya.
It's Jordane.
He's frantic.
I sit up alarmed.
"Nickoi weh yuh deh?" he sounds like he's running. Why would he be running? I know he's in danger.
I just know.
"Wah gwan?" I'm alarmed.
He's speaking but he's all over the place.
"Yow calm dung and talk to me nuh bad man," I say harshly.
"Me inna the house a sleep dawg and see one a you car out a door pan fire bad man," he tells me. He's at John's Road.
I laugh sinisterly in disbelief.
I take a few seconds to really process it.
"Who fa car pan fire?" I don't even sound like myself. Venom courses through my veins. I'm raging.
I feel Cataleya holding onto my hand in a way to console me. "What's happening?" her voice soft.
I block out everything and everyone, thinking deeply. It doesn't make sense.
It just doesn't make sense.
Who would a try violate ina my place?
My place?
When I don't remember having anything with anyone lately?
Smaddy wah dead?
St. Jago Heights man dem alone me can think of and I don't see why they'd come all the way to Johns Road to provoke me.
When dem fraid an Outlaw like a puss.
"A which waterman ready fi dead?" I ask coldly.
Cataleya staring.
"Jordy yuh nah tell me sup'm," I pull off in anger. I look over at Cataleya. "Put on your seatbelt."
She does so quietly.
"D-Dawg me and a man from Rae Town did catch up inna the day but it never that serious. Him pull dung pan me with a bag a man bout me have him gyal and me stand up fimme self. A the only thing a make sense to me bro," he explains.
I'm still silent.
"Why my car?" I ask.
He goes silent.
"Why my car?!" I raise my voice. I don't usually do. My voice already commands any room I enter. Raising it, only makes it worst.
"M-mi did link a gyal inna yuh car," he says shakily.
"Mi never tell yuh fi nuh go inna me car?" I kiss my teeth. "So why yuh never link me when dem pull up?"
"Bro...a nuh like me could a walk weh and even if me call look how far man deh. Mi nah make no man step to mi certain way and get weh with wid it," he adds.
I finally speak in a solemn tone.
"Which part yuh say dem fawud from?" I ask again, ready to make a duppy.
"Rae Town."
"Name?"
"On'twan but dem call him Lass, him have a cut cross him face," he retorts before telling me his exact address.
I hang up.
I call Gutta right after. He answers immediately. "Deh pan the stretch. Fawud." He doesn't hesitate.
In five minutes his car pulls over in front mine. He rolls the window down. Then his head pokes out. I roll my window down too. "Bring deh b ya a mi yard."
"Everything Gov?" he questions. He knows something is off.
"Yah," I stare ahead.
Cataleya picks up her stuff. Then she leans in and place a kiss on my cheek. I heave a sigh, she gets out.
I watch as she walks towards Gutta's Range Rover. She gets in the back.
"Sure bro?" Gutta tries again.
"Just drop her off," is all I say. I send a message to Genius.
Gutta pulls off with a bit of reluctance. I turn, heading to the direction that Jordane told me about.
****
Outlaw's POV
One more puff from this blunt and I feel my head floating. I bring the liquor to my head and toss stacks on strippers.
Barely paying any attention to them.
Behind me, is another stripper. I can't keep up. Gyal deh all over me.
Once a nuh mi face mi good.
She tries to kiss me, but the Ski mask makes it impossible for her. If it wasn't there, I would push her so hard.
Mi nuh do the kissing.
Mi have sup'm she can kiss though.
I shake my legs, and lean my head back. I feel amazing. The music blasting loudly. Occasionally I observe the club.
Guards ever up.
Neva drop.
Vybz Kartel's Cyaa test comes on.
I start holding a vibe with the bottle of Hennessy in my hand. My guns not far. Securities close too. There's a difference when you can relate to a gun chine than actually 'feeling' bad.
I throw my head back and belt out. "Dem cyaaa test! Dem nuh bad enuff war dem wah fi war mi tell dem hurry up!"
Women taking chance to whine on me.
Weh dem even a whine off a? A Gun man chune?
Jah know..
I just smirk.
I don't laugh with just anyone.
"Outlaw!" Diego runs in. I throw the girl off me and rise my guns before I even hear the context.
Even if it's a false alarm.
Man ready.
"Prezzi deh a Rae Town in a shoot out with some man," I widen my eyes in shock.
"Wah?" I push the Hennessy in a random person's grip and run out. The Outlaw behind me.
We get in two SUVs and head out in full speed. I know he can handle himself. But that's my prize and joy. I can't take any chances. I have to protect him at all cost.
***
Nick's POV
I set the houses in his yard on fire.
People running, some trying to throw water. But the houses are going up in flames. Nothing can help it.
"Don't ramp with man," I rage. "Wah dead? Violate my family."
He isn't necessarily calm.
"Kill mi o' kill yuh bwoy!"
Him know me?
I run after him and realize that he's called Lass for a reason. He pulls out a cutlass. One that's sharp.
It shapes like a sword.
It's a big man gang. I already shoot his friends. Easy kill.
"Yow likkle bwoy mi will chop off yuh head," he growls and swings.
"Mouth chat alone yuh have, with yuh bruck badness!" I speak venomously. Eyes pitch black.
If yuh cut me yuh nuh see no blood.
"Mi a box yuh up like how me do yuh bredda. Bun dung yuh house next fassy. Likkle bwoy like you wah me kill yuh and yuh nuh live no life yet?" he laughs. His teeth rotten.
"Chattabox dem should a call yuh. Watch how me do bwoy weh nuh know how fi lock chat," I walk up to him.
He steps back.
I continue.
"Mi a devil. Mi born and train fi this," I pull the trigger. He tries to swing. When he does, I give him a a kick. He slides in the dirt.
"And me nuh affi kill yuh wid gun," I tell him.
He tries to move.
I grab the machete and swing. It comes around and clean off his arm. He cries out. I swing again, the other flies off. He cries louder. Then I aim for his mouth. This time with my gun.
I pull the trigger before cleaning off his head with his machete.
Nuh bruck badness nuh test.
I run towards my car. I pull off immediately, I left it on. Pulling the gloves off as I speed down the street.
Still in rage.
I don't think there's anything that can actually calm me. No drink can. The weed, a little. Only one person can calm me down.
I need her right now.
I need to see her right now.
With a sigh, I get off the stretch. Now heading to Portmore.
I put away the gloves. Making a mental note to throw it away at my house. So I know it's safe.
When I get to Zara's Scheme. The security behind to give me a hard time. I wind the window down a little, casually showing her the gun.
She gasp. "Outlaw.."
His son.
But yea..
"I-I.." she's conflicted. "People are depending on us to make them safe."
"I know just a link mi woman. Promise mi nah go give no trouble," I say in a calm manner.
"Call your girlfriend," she sighs.
I call Mommy instead.
She answers on the second ring. "Hello Nickoi?"
"Um just want your permission to go to the house," I say calmly. Deep down there's so much rage I want to let out.
In Zara?
Every time I think of my car I get pissed.
"Okay. And Nickoi.." she calls my name with a serious tone.
"Me a go behave miself," I smile.
"Okay. I will be calling. I'll be home soon as well."
"Alright," I nod, then the gate opens.
***
Zara's POV
I stare at the movie with dried tears on my cheeks. Qara is asleep on the sofa. We were watching Wednesday together.
She loves it.
I check the time.
It's 12:08 am.
Time to take her to her room. I get off the sofa and lift her over my shoulder, then I walk her to her room.
She sleepily gets under the sheet.
I kiss her cheeks.
The door knocks softly, a deep voice follows. "Zara."
There's no way he's here.
I roll my eyes.
My anger returns. I storm to the living room, I pull it with a cold expression. He looks down at me. He seems off.
"Wah?" I don't open the door fully.
"Nah open the door?" he questions. Without closing the door, I move to the sofa. I sit down and pick up the pillow placing it on my lap.
He comes in and close the door.
He leans into me. I push him away. He stares at my face, he tilts my face up. "Why you a cry?"
He smells weird..
A sulfur smell lingering from his shirt especially.
He seems really angry too.
"What's that smell? Like.."he cuts me off when he covers my lips with his. I push him off, but I'm not successful. He doesn't stop kissing me. It's like, his life depends on kissing me.
Then he says. "Stop push me...Zara...mi need this."
I push him. "Gwaan back weh yaw come from!" I shout at him.
"Wah wrong with you?"
"Nickoi mi say fi stop push up pan me. First off, yuh ignore my messages for two days. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, now you out there partying with a new girl, the local paparazzi dem tell me, so I thought I was alone but you still out there being a player!" I sob.
"Which girl?"
I smile at him. "Yea go ahead and lie to me!" my legs bouncing. I'm so annoyed. I glare at him.
"Can you stop shouting?" he seems to have a headache. He's trying to be calm it seems.
"Gwaan back to your new girl! I can't help you. I should have known this wouldn't work out," I argue and it hurts.
It hurts so bad.
"Who tell you that?"
"Does it matter?" I stare up at him, tears rolling down my cheeks.
"Stop cry," he breathes.
"You are the reason I'm crying!" I snap. "Mi already block yuh cause it clear say yuh nuh wah me!"
He gets angry. "Who say me nuh wah yuh? Mi come yasso cause yah me peace."
"Let me guess? You just want to cum!" I shout at him. "That's all you want from me SEX!" He seems to not like that. His face hardens.
"Zara mi have a...it's more than just...just JAH KNOW!" his voice sharp. I jerk back in fear.
"I want more from you, I try to show you that...might not be as much as you expect but I try and...you just feel good, but...if a so yuh feel then.." he trails off in deep thoughts.
He seems stressed.
His phone ringing too. He takes it out and power it off.
Then he looks at me. "Mi o' cut. Mi a figure this out alone."
"Figure out what alone? Weh yuh even a talk about?" I move towards him.
He shakes his head.
"Mi o' lowe yuh out," he looks down. My heart shatters.
"Really?"
"Yeah...yuh feel like mi just deh ya fi sex and mi think mi did a show signs that might a meds long term. You don't pree so and mi feel cut up bout that," he admits.
"Yeah yuh a jump to say that cause yuh have a new girl!" I cry. "I hate you Nickoi!" I throw a cushion at him. "Come outttt!" I scream and slide down the wall.
He stares at me for a while.
I cry to myself.
"Zara," he steps in.
I point at the door in anger. "Come out!"
"Mickoi why is Titter crying?"
He looks at her with a guilty expression. "Jah Jah.."
"Don't make me get mad at you Mickoi," she's standing at the hallway. Her face screwed up. Eyes soft.
She loves you Zara..
"It's okay Qara," he sighs. "I didn't mean to hurt sister."
He hurts me when more he closes the door. I break down. I've never cried this hard.
Qara hugs me. I hear his car pull off dangerously fast. I cry really hard. My first real heartbreak.
It hurts.
It hurts like hell.
*****
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