The chilling wind of Dragonspine sliced through Xingqiu's thoughts. He had been pondering for a while, and hadn't realized just how far ahead Chongyun had gotten. He called out his name and hurried back to his side. They had been out for about an hour now, and the cold had started getting to Xingqiu. It felt like it was seeping into his very core.
He shivered as he slipped back into his mind. They were up on dragonspine for a couple reasons, but for the most part it was for Chongyun. He was told there was yet another remedy for his condition and unfortunately the ingredients for it only grew on Dragonspine. And despite Xingqiu's cries, Chongyun had decided to drag him here either way.
Xingqiu wasn't very upset about it though, he just wasn't good with handling the cold, unlike his friend who's congenital positivity often kept him warm, even if fully naked on Dragonspine. Xingqiu made a face at that thought. He'd rather not imagine Chongyun naked right now.
"Slow down, you ass," Xingqiu pouted, hugging himself to keep in whatever warmth he had left. Chongyun huffed and turned to face Xingqiu.
"I know you're cold, I'm trying to hurry! These flowers just aren't easy to spot, you know that," Chongyun frowned and glanced around under the trees and in the snow. "Plus, you literally put on 3 jackets, I'm sure you'll be fine for a few more minutes. We'll head down after I grab a couple more." Xingqiu rolled his eyes and continued walking next to his friend.
"Can we at least light a fire or look for a seelie? I'll turn into an ice cube at this rate! How will I be of any help if I'm frozen solid?" Xingqiu joked lightly. He seriously was cold though, and Chongyun could tell.
The exorcist sighed, he really didn't like interrupting his own quests, but he also didn't want his best friend to turn blue. "Ok," He breathed. "There's a seelie over here that you can warm up at, but you know I'll overheat if I get too close to it, so I'm just gonna stand to the side," Chongyun grabbed Xingqiu's hand and walked him towards the seelie as he spoke, not noticing the faint blush that appeared on Xingqiu's features from the touch.
Every time Chongyun would touch him, the world seemed to melt away. Xingqiu had never been the kind to really like summer, or hot days, maybe because he was always cold, so any small amount of heat felt like it was burning him. But no, not Chongyun. Chongyun's warmth was something that struck Xingqiu to the core. It warmed his skin, his bones, his heart. Every time. He could never get sick of it, in fact, he constantly craved that feeling from his friend, he just was too embarrassed to ever tell him such a thing.
The moment was over just as soon as it had started. Chongyun helped Xingqiu sit down on a sturdy log next to the seelie and stepped to the side. Xingqiu frowned at the sudden loss of such a comforting warmth, but at least he was warming up from the seelie now.
"Your hands are so warm, maybe we should've just held hands the whole time," Xingqiu chuckled. He had played it off as a joke, but behind the laugh he really wished his friend wouldn't mind the option. Teasing Chongyun was his favorite pass time anyways, much to Chongyun's disapproval.
"No way! You know I'm not a touchy person, plus I need my hands free for flower plucking," Chongyun scolded Xingqiu, deciding not dwell on the thought of holding hands and instead continued to scan the area for more of the flowers they'd been after. Xingqiu caught glimpse of a small blue petal sticking out of the snow.
"Hey, there's one right behind you, in the snow," He spoke. The exorcist turned around and his eyes lit up at the sight of the flower. He quickly dug it out of the snow - with his bare hands - and to his surprise there were 2. Just the perfect amount to add to the rest of the flowers they'd collected today. Xingqiu watched, endeared, as Chongyun delicately plucked them from the ground and placed them gently into the bag he had brought with him.
"Ah, thank you Xingqiu! Those should be the last ones we need. In that case, we can relax here a bit longer than I thought," He smiled as he turned and sat on the snowy ground next to the boy, on the furthest side from the seelie of course. Xingqiu nodded and returned the smile, then watched the seelie as it danced in its place.
The seelie cooed happily and flapped its little seelie wings as it hovered closer to Xingqiu. He embraced the warmth as it grew stronger and placed a hand on the seelie's head to give it a quick pat. Although it was the color of fire, it wasn't any hotter than a warm, sunny day.
"They're quite cute, don't you think?" He hummed, the seelie seemingly understood what he said since it cooed again.
"Hm? Seelies? Yeah, they are. I avoid the ones on Dragonspine as much as possible but the other ones I hang out with sometimes, even though that sounds kind of silly," Chongyun laughed at himself and scratched the back of his neck. "Especially when my spirit hunting goes badly, I'll just talk to them to vent sometimes," His fingers absentmindedly fidgeted with the light blue tassle next to his vision.
"Aww, sometimes you're just as cute as a little puppy," Xingqiu teased, poking the taller's cheek just to bother him a bit more.
"Whatever," Chongyun lightly slapped his friend's hand away, causing Xingqiu's heart to race and butterflies to overwhelm his stomach. The touch caught him off guard and he quickly moved his hand back to his leg before Chongyun could notice his body language.
Sometimes Xingqiu loathed the way he felt for his friend. Don't get him wrong, he loved spending time with Chongyun and talking to him and playing dumb pranks on him, but any time their hands touched it would short circuit Xingqiu's brain so bad that he'd hardly be able to think for a while. It was hard to put into words, but the temprature of Chongyun's hands wasn't the only thing that struck Xingqiu when they touched, no. There was something else. It was as if Chongyun was reaching directly to Xingqiu's aching heart and comforting it. It wasn't just a warmth to the skin, it was a warmth that burried itself deep inside his ribcage and infested his brain.
He figured it had something to do with Chongyun's condition. Afterall, it wasn't just the temprature of his body that the yang energy changed. And plus, Chongyun is the only person in the world who's ever gotten him to fumble like this, as well as probably the only currently alive person with such a condition.
Suddenly, a pang of embarrassment hit Xingqiu in the stomach. He really hoped Chongyun wasn't able to tell how much he loved touching him. And if he could tell, he hoped Chongyun didn't find it weird. Oh archons.. imagine how embarrassing that conversation would be.
Xingqiu kept his eyes on the seelie, who seemed to be able to read his thoughts by the way it wriggled into his arms. And with that, Chongyun let a chuckle slip from his lips, making Xingqiu squint in his direction.
"What's so funny, huh?" Xingqiu feigned offense in his tone. The seelie just sat between his arms and rested its small head underneath Xingqiu's chin. Chongyun waved his hand dismissively.
"Oh nothing," He giggled. The seelie squeaked in a way similar to a kid mocking their sibling. Chongyun's head whipped towards the seelie, and his expression made Xingqiu burst out in laughter, nearly falling right off the log.
"Looks like she's on my side!" He spoke between cackles. Chongyun clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We should start heading back to Liyue while the flowers are still fresh. Are you warmed up yet?" He asked, standing up and brushing the snow and dirt off his pants. Xingqiu hummed in approval and Chongyun reached his hand out to help him up. The seelie swiftly slipping out of Xingqiu's arms, making him frown slightly.
Xingqiu attempted to ignore the butterflies and pulled himself up with the help of Chongyun. The two waved a goodbye to their new seelie friend, who spun in circles happily, which the boys assumed was its way of saying bye. Reluctantly, Xingqiu followed Chongyun as they tread further from the warming seelie.
~
After their long, and very cold day on Dragonspine, the two had settled down together at Wanmin Restaurant - the place they often went for some quick calories. Chongyun had ordered his usual, which was also a dish he got the chefs to cook specifically for him. It was never listed on the menu, but they knew Chongyun so well that they didnt mind making the ice cold noodles every time he came to their restaurant.
Xingqiu on the other hand, ordered quite a spicy dish to contrast their freezing day. He was still cold anyways, and wouldn't wanna eat something that wouldn't help him get warmer.
Actually, he supposed he could've just continued to wear his many layers of jackets, but he often didn't need to go that overboard in Liyue, as it was much warmer here. Plus, he already dropped them back off at home. Instead, he opted for his normal outfit, just without the heavy coat that was often on top of it. Chongyun was also dressed a little more casually, having taken off his white and blue overshirt, which left his smooth shoulders exposed.
"You two look quite happy!" Chef Xiangling smiled as she slid the fresh plates of food to the hungry boys. Xingqiu happily grabbed his plate from her and returned the smile, while Chongyun fiddled with his tassel, a gentle smile on his lips.
"Mm," He hummed in approval. "We just got back from Dragonspine for some new remedy Chongyun heard of, for his condition," He explained simply, and rather impolitely he began shoveling food into his mouth. Being in the cold does burn a ton of calories, and he was starving. He continued with his mouth full. "And we met this super cute seelie that gave me some cuddles! She helped me warm back up 'cause I was freezing my ass off.. due to this dickhead," He side-eyed Chongyun.
"Hey! I wasn't trying to freeze you! I just needed a few more flowers," Chongyun protested. He began to nibble on his cold noodles.
"He was definitely trying to freeze me," Xingqiu whispered to Xiangling, loud enough to where Chongyun could hear - resulting in a game of footsies that lasted up until Xingqiu yelped from Chongyun's kick. Chongyun held in a chuckle and continued eating.
"Hey, Yun! What's that?" Xingqiu pointed to something far in the distance, and right as Chongyun turned, Xingqiu slid his hot sauce covered carrots right into Chongyun's noodles, and when Chongyun turned back to his innocently smiling friend, he deadpanned.
"Seriously? I mean I should've expected it," He sighed in disappointment. "One day I'm gonna force these damn carrots down your throat," Chongyun poked at the carrots, entirely unaware that they were caked in jueyun chili sauce. To keep him from suspecting anything, Xingqiu continued eating his food, all while Xiangling watched him with disapproval.
"Xingqiu!" Chongyun yelped as soon as he tasted the carrots, and spat them out, immediately starting to overheat. "Seriously?!" Xingqiu nearly knocked over all his food when he collapsed onto the table in laughter. Xiangling clicked her tongue and shook her head, silently scolding Xingqiu. She left the two boys to continue messing around while she took more orders.
"I'm sorry! You know I don't like carrots! They just happened to have some hot sauce on them as well," He spoke through wheezes. Chongyun flicked the boy on his forehead in retaliation. "Come on, it's fine! We'll take our food around the corner and find a shady spot to eat your popsicles. I promise I wont do it again! At least not today.."
Chongyun sighed, frustrated. It was already a bit too late for a popsicle, since he could already feel his yang energy rising to higher levels. But, he guessed he didn't mind sitting under a shady tree with his friend. "Chef Mao!" Chongyun called out, the Chef swiftly making his way to the distressed exorcist. "Can we get 2 of my popsicles? We're gonna take our plates somewhere else. We'll make sure to return them in about an hour," He stood and bowed apologetically.
"Sure thing! Just don't break 'em," Chef Mao reached into the frozen foods crate and pulled out Chongyun's specially-made popsicles. This wasn't the first time the pair had asked for a similar favor, so the Chef didn't mind letting them take their plates off somewhere else, since they had never returned them broken or lost. "Have a good one you two, see you in a bit!" He waved them off after handing over the popsicles.
Xingqiu nodded politely and picked up both their plates, while Chongyun held the popsicles irritably. Xingqiu held back his giggle as he led the way to their favorite shady area.
As they sat beneath the shade of the large Cihua tree, Xingqiu placed their plates on their respective laps. "Maybe you should finish your food before you eat your popsicles," Xingqiu snickered, knowing Chongyun wasn't in the best mindset to make a good choice. It was fine though, surely.. Xingqiu was here to watch over him if he did anything crazy or stupid, as well as stop him if he went too far with the spicy carrots.
"Fine," Chongyun huffed, just ready to get this over with. He was hungry anyways, and was already having a yang reaction, so what was the harm in eating a little more? He felt safe enough around his friend anyway. Plus... he would never admit it out loud but, he kind of enjoyed putting his walls down around Xingqiu. It was relieving, to an extent. Its actually quite anxiety enducing when he wakes up from his amnesic episodes. Those don't happen very often though, especially when he's around Xingqiu, since he would always make sure he didn't slip into such an episode, or be around enough hot things to force him into one.
"Great! Eat up," Xingqiu encouraged impishly. "I pinky promise I'll eat the carrots if you can't."
Chongyun begrudgingly finished his plate, much to Xingqiu's surprise. It wasn't without struggle though, as Chongyun was now a sweating, panting mess. He placed his plate to the side just as Xingqiu finished his own. Chongyun quickly started a popsicle just before it started to melt. It wasn't summer, but his popsicles were definitely not invincible by any means.
It didn't take long for him to finish the first one, but by the time he was done with it, he found that his other popsicle had mysteriously disappeared from his hand. He peered at Xingqiu, who 'coincidentally' had a bare popsicle stick in his hand. "Really?" Chongyun panted, still overheating. He rolled his eyes and leaned back on the tree trunk, eyes watching the dancing leaves.
"Your popsicles taste awful," Xingqiu stated. "They're so bland."
"I know, you've said this a million times and yet you always eat them anyways. Plus, aren't you always cold? You don't even need them!" Chongyun whined, not genuinely upset with his friend, just a little annoyed.
"Hehe, that's what I'm here for!" Xingqiu nudged Chongyun's shoulder playfully. He watched, enamored, as the light bounced through Chongyun's eyes like the surface of a crystal clear ocean.
"To steal my popsicles?" Xingqiu nodded at the question.
"And to be your personal ice cube!" He grabbed the boy's hand, letting the temprature seep into Chongyun's fingertips. Chongyun silently locked his fingers between Xingqiu's, just to get more surface area, of course..
"I guess that's not as bad," He mumbled, almost inaudibly.
Xingqiu bit his lip in a poor attempt to keep himself from blushing. It was his fault they ended up like this anyways. In fact, it was actually his plan the whole time. This was probably the hundredth time he led Chongyun into a situation like this. His reasoning being that they often ended up holding hands, or touching each other in some other way. He knew it was selfish, he knew damn well. But Chongyun had never made any attempts to stop it from happening, nor had he ever told Xingqiu that it was crossing his boundaries.
Plus, that feeling Xingqiu gets when they touch; it's heightened when Chongyun is having a yang episode. It's nearly pure ecstasy - almost a drug for Xingqiu. He would do nearly anything just to touch Chongyun, even if only for a second. It was like constant electric shocks of dopamine shooting through his veins. He loved it.
Subconsciously, Xingqiu shifted his weight onto Chongyun's side, only noticing when Chongyun spoke.
"You're cold."
Well, obviously- why else would he be holding hands with his best friend?
"Does it bother you?"
"No."
Xingqiu reluctantly leaned his head onto Chongyun's shoulder and closed his eyes, clearly flustered - though Chongyun was oblivious. The scholar inhaled slowly, trying to loosen up. That was hard though when he was currently cuddling and holding hands with his best friend and crush of like a bajillion years.
"What's got you so stiff?" Chongyun chuckled lightly. He would not have asked that if he was in his normal state of mind. Xingqiu nearly jumped at the question.
"Ice cubes arent supposed to be squishy," Xingqiu played it off as if it was nothing to be worried about, and hoped to the archons that Chongyun wouldn't question him any further, but they didn't hear his prayers.
"Well you're normally a very squishy ice cube," Chongyun's index finger tapped the back of Xingqiu's hand lightly. "C'mon, you can tell me."
"Ughh," Xingqiu thought for a moment. "It might upset you."
"Mm, I don't think there's many things you can do that upset me," Chongyun hummed. Xingqiu lifted his head back up and stared at Chongyun, as if trying to read some illegible writing that was scribled into his eyes. Suddenly, he pulled their hands apart and started tugging at Chongyun's cheek.
"Where did my YunYun go?! You never act like this!" Xingqiu kept pulling at the poor boys face until he spoke again.
"Hey, hey! Chill out!" He whined and pushed Xingqiu's hand away, rubbing his pained cheek. "I always act like this, I dunno what you're talking about," He let out a quiet "hmph" and crossed his arms like a child.
"Pfft, yeah right! I swear, I'll tickle you if you don't come back as my normal Yun," He wiggled his fingers as a warning.
"Waah, ok, ok," Chongyun huffed and the two resumed their previous positions. "But really, did I do something wrong? You seem anxious."
"What? No, not at all! Quite the opposite actually," Xingqiu traced circles in the grass with his free hand. A moment of silence passed before he continued. "It's just a bit embarrassing."
Chongyun cocked his head to the side, prompting Xingqiu to continue.
"Well, ah.." He held his breath anxiously. "Have I ever told you I can feel your yang energy when we touch?" He knew the answer was no, but he felt obligated to ask anyways.
"Mm? No, not that I can recall," Chongyun loosened his grip on Xingqiu's hand, since he often saw his condition as a hindrance and assumed it was a bad thing that Xingqiu could feel it. Xingqiu immediately responded by gripping his hand tighter, keeping them glued together.
"No," He breathed. "I like it."
Chongyun took a moment to register the words, but it soon clicked and he whispered a quiet "oh," so soft that Xingqiu nearly missed it. With his free hand, Chongyun fiddled with his tassle again.
"I-it.. it has a certain feeling that I've never felt from anyone else. It's comforting. Calming," Xingqiu tried to hold back his embarrassment and chewed on his lip for a moment. Chongyun stayed silent. "I feel so selfish for it but... that's why I trick you into eating spicy food a lot," He laughed awkwardly. "The feeling gets stronger when you let your condition show. That's why I assume it has something to do with your congenital positivity."
"I see," Chongyun rubbed Xingqiu's hand with his thumb. "You aren't selfish for enjoying that part of me," He shook his head. "Plus ah.. I kind of like putting my walls down sometimes, y'know?" Now it was Xingqiu's turn to cock his head. "It's relieving. Just annoying at times when I'm looking for spirits. But it's fun when I'm around you. You make me actually like that part of myself," He looked the opposite direction, embarrassed. "But.. I'm glad you told me."
Xingqiu smiled like a kid when he heard that. Even nearly started jumping in place. He couldn't help but let out a small laugh out of pure joy.
"Oh, archons- I'm sorry if that sounded weird or anything! I wasn't trying to-" But when he turned back to look at Xingqiu, the smile on his face made Chongyun's heart burst like a firework. Nothing more had to be said at that moment. He just let Xingqiu laugh and giggle until he finally caught his breath once more.
They sat in comfortable silence after that. Holding hands with smiles on their faces.
"I'm so glad I met you," Xingqiu spoke.
~
Xingqiu awoke, having had the best nap he was sure he'd ever had. He rubbed his eyes open as he attempted to recall where he was and what happened. His gaze stirred to a bright orange sunset shining beautifully over the harbor. He shuffled around around for a moment before he noticed what he was laying on.
Chongyun's lap... what a predicament.
Gently, Chongyun's fingers rested amidst Xingqiu's soft locks, motionless but loving. Xingqiu nearly screamed, and he was sure he was blushing. How did they even end up like this? He swore the last thing he remembered was leaning his head on his friend's shoulder, not his lap!
He internally swore at himself and thought. Should he move? If he moved, he risked waking up his friend, but if he stayed here he risked the embarrassment of explaining how he got there. And even then.. should he tell the truth and just say he didn't know how to got there? Or should he make up some dumb excuse like he fell or something?! Ugh.
Whatever, he'll cross that bridge later. But for now, he might as well take in this rare moment while it's still here.
A few deep breaths in, and Xingqiu was already feeling a lot calmer. How was just the scent of Chongyun able to affect him so easily like this? He felt like he could melt right into him, forget all his worries, and just stay here forever.
The two were still holding hands. Delicately intertwined together at the fingertips. It made him smile, to think about how lucky he was to have met such a sweet human; one who cared enough to stick around for so long, and always made it a point to show that he cared. He wondered how many people were missing out on a friend like Chongyun. Everyone deserves that kind of person in their life.
Xingqiu glanced to the side, noticing the empty plates and discarded popsicle sticks. It was probably about closing time for Wanmin Restaurant, so he figured he should probably go ahead and return the plates.
With a heavy sigh, he took one last moment to appreciate Chongyun's warmth before he gently removed Yun's hands and set them lightly in his lap. Xingqiu sat up slowly as to not disturb the boy's slumber, but paused for moment to admire his crush.
It was never common to see Chongyun with such a peaceful expression. His eyes were shut softly with his lips parted somewhat, and his head leaning to the side a bit, as if waiting for a shoulder to rest it on. It made Xingqiu's heart swell with love, and he couldn't repress his urge any longer.
He leaned forward, letting his tender lips press against Chongyun's warm forehead. It was a kiss filled with silent confessions, and a whirlpool of emotions that he felt could only be conveyed with such an act. He lingered for a moment when he pulled back, quietly studying Chongyun's delicate features. The way his hair fell ever so slightly past his eyelashes, the blue stain on his lips left over from their popsicles, and the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.
Xingqiu's heart fluttered at such a sight. Chongyun was perfect in every way, no matter what he did he was always so beautiful.
He sighed once more as he shuffled to a standing position, silently picking up the empty plates and popsicle sticks. "I'll be right back Yun, please stay right here," He whispered, hoping to the archons that Chongyun was still fast asleep. Hurriedly, he made his way back to the restaurant - which thankfully wasn't far at all from their Cihua tree - and returned the bare plates with an apology to the Chefs for taking so long.
It had only taken Xingqiu a minute or two to return the plates and come back, yet when he arrived at the Cihua once more, Chongyun was wide awake, still sitting against the tree like normal. His gaze landed on Xingqiu, and he grinned wide.
"You're back," He spoke calmly. "Where'd you go?"
Xingqiu nearly stumbled as he sat back down with Chongyun. If he was awake now, did that mean he was awake when he kissed him? Chongyun didn't seem embarrassed or surprised, so hopefully he was still asleep at that time.. ugh why did Xingqiu have risk that? "I went to go return our plates. Did you miss me?~" He teased playfully. Chongyun rolled his eyes in return, making Xingqiu giggle. "Well, it's getting late anyways, the sun has nearly set. Are you still feeling off?"
He shrugged. "A little. I'll probably need you to walk me home to make sure I don't do something dumb again, heh," Xingqiu gave a hearty smile and helped Chongyun stand up.
"Of course, my liege."
~
Chongyun was sat on his bed, leaning against the wall - having been put there by Xingqiu. The scholar was still there of course, he had just left to get Chongyun some ice water. Gently, he pressed his fingertips against his forehead, blush dusting his cheeks.
He wasn't sure if Xingqiu was aware, but he was wide awake when he kissed him under the tree. He didn't know what it was supposed to mean. Was it a friendly gesture? Or was it... No. He shook his head violently. There was next to no chance Xingqiu meant it romantically. Chongyun was probably just thinking all weird again because his condition was acting up. If Xingqiu had such feelings about Chongyun, there's no way he'd just hide it from him. Their friendship wasn't the kind of one where they hid things from each other like that.
Although.. Chongyun had been hiding his feelings from Xingqiu. Oh archons.. suddenly he felt super guilty. If he expected Xingqiu to tell him he has a crush, then why hasn't Chongyun told him? He really felt like an asshole now. But he just- ...wasn't ready for that sort of confrontation. It took a lot of courage to tell someone that and Chongyun sure as hell wasn't brave enough. Not right now at least. He'd probably end up tripping all over his words and making a mess of himself. Plus the pure embarrassment it would cause if Xingqiu didn't feel the same.. it just wasn't worth it in Chongyun's eyes.
"Hey, I'm back, sorry. Had to use the bathroom too," Xingqiu let himself into Chongyun's small room, setting the glass of ice water down on his nightstand. "It's getting real late. Will you be ok if I head back to my place?" Xingqiu stood leaning against the nightstand, watching the way Chongyun fumbled about. "Something wrong?"
He looked away, embarrassed that Xingqiu could read him so well. "No- well, it's not that bad, don't worry about it," He spoke, fidgeting with the tassle Xingqiu gifted him. The scholar squinted.
"Ah-ah, what's wrong? You're acting different than usual. Are you sick? Did your yang energy get worse while I was in the kitchen?" Xingqiu delicately pressed the back of his hand to Chongyun's forehead, catching the flustered boy off guard. His breath hitched and he grabbed Xingqiu by the wrist, pulling his hand away. Xingqiu stared with a concerned expression. "What's gotten into you?" He tried again to touch Chongyun's forehead, but the boy pushed his hand further away.
Chongyun watched Xingqiu's expression shift a few times, as the blush crept ever so slowly across the exorcist's cheeks. He pondered to himself, wondering if it was the right time to bring up the kiss. But he figured that he probably wouldn't be able to sleep tonight if he didn't at least ask what it meant.
"You kissed me under the Cihua."
Dear archons, please spare him. That's not at all how he meant to bring it up.
Xingqiu's hand shot back to his chest, the man was completely taken aback. "You- ..were awake?!" Xingqiu covered his face in shame. "I'm so sorry, I won't do it again, I promise. Please, please forgive me," Xingqiu groaned in embarrassment, hoping that his apology wouldn't fall on deaf ears.
"No, no, I didn't mind- er, don't be embarrassed! It just really confused me and I wanted to ask about it," Chongyun tried. He hadn't meant to embarrass his friend so badly, but at least he wasn't the only one feeling flustered. Incoherent apologies could be heard through Xingqiu's hands, until he finally took a few deep breaths and removed them.
His eyes darted around the room, seemingly looking for an escape. "Ok, but.. can I sit down on your bed first?" Chongyun shuffled into a different spot to give Xingqiu enough room. The bed dipped as he sat, his back stiff and his shoulders rigid. A moment of silence passed until Xingqiu finally broke it with deep, long inhale. "You promise to still be my friend?"
"Of course," He nodded. Was it worse than what he imagined?
"Well... ever since we were about 12, I've.." Xingqiu struggled to get the words out. He looked towards the sheets and gulped as his mouth dried up. "Well, I've just- always admired you so much. You would let me have some of your food when you were waiting for it to cool, you'd make me those silly friendship bracelets that I still have, you'd always laugh at my stupid jokes, you'd always bring me a bandaid when I scraped my knee or got a cut. You just.. always showed me that you cared, and I know it sounds dumb but, it meant so much to me, every time. My father nor my brother ever showed as much love and empathy as you did. You were the first person in my life that made me genuinely believe I was worth something."
Xingqiu took another deep breath, his eyes still laser-focused on Chongyun's bedsheets. He knew that if he looked up, he'd risk seeing an emotion on his friend's face that would scare him from continuing. He bit his lip for a moment, cautiously piecing together his next words. "And, all this to say... that admiration turned into something a lot bigger than I could have ever anticipated. It grew into something stronger.. I..." He trailed off again. His heartbeat boomed like a drum. He swore it was loud enough that even Chongyun could hear it. "It became love."
Chongyun's eyes fell wide and his heart skipped a beat. There was no way he heard that right. Xingqiu's had a crush this whole time?
Xingqiu continued before Chongyun could speak. "And I know it sounds stupid! I've been trying to avoid my feelings for so long though, it just- piled up, and- when I saw you sleeping so peacefully under our tree I couldn't help but show my affection somehow. I didn't know any other way to express my feelings. I've been stuck in this stupid emotional turmoil for years and to show you that love while you were supposedly unconscious was the only way I felt like I could show it without telling you directly. I'm sorry I did something like that. I really should've just said something instead of taking advantage of you, and if there's any way that I can make up for it, I'll do it."
Xingqiu pulled at the sheets under him anxiously, waiting in anticipation for Chongyun's response. The silence was almost deafening.
"Xingqiu," Chongyun choked out a quiet sob and Xingqiu's eyes shot up in concern. Tears streamed like a river down the poor boy's face. Oh no. Had Xingqiu said something wrong? Was Chongyun upset? Did he hurt his feelings?
Thoughts raced through Xingqiu's mind and he froze over, unable to breathe or move until suddenly; a heavy embrace tugged him out of his head. Chongyun had lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Xingqiu, the sudden weight knocking him down on his back. He sobbed loudly into Xingqiu's chest, staining his shirt with tears. Worried, Xingqiu immediately wrapped his arms around Chongyun in an attempt to comfort him.
"That was so sweet," Chongyun spoke between broken cries. Xingqiu teared up as well. He had always been a crybaby when he saw someone else in such an emotional state.
"Did I- a-are you upset?" He stuttered out, to which Chongyun only replied with a shake of the head. So, Xingqiu didn't hurt his feelings? Why was he crying then? "..Happy tears?" Xingqiu asked. If Chongyun said no to this too then he would have no idea what else could possibly be happening. Chongyun hummed and nodded. "O-oh," Xingqiu's stomach twisted and turned with an emotion he could not describe.
He wasn't sure if he'd ever hugged Chongyun like this before, but it felt nice. Like a refuge where he could forget the weight of all his worries and revel in the warmth of Chongyun's embrace. His heart rate picked up, and his breathing quickened as tears dripped down his face. His jaw tightened in an attempt to hold back his wails. Why did he have to be such an empath? Now he's crying under his friend like in idiot, as if he had anything to even cry about. He supposed it didn't matter anymore though, as he was now crying audibly and gripping Chongyun's clothes like a lifeline.
Chongyun lifted himself and clumsily wiped away his tears. "I'm sorry I started crying, it's just that- e-everything you said was so sweet and now I feel so dumb for not telling you sooner," He hicced.
"Telling me what?" Xingqiu quickly wiped away his tears as well and helped Chongyun sit back up straight.
"That I love you too," Chongyun sniffed and looked up at Xingqiu, who was still trying to get his breathing back to normal. Xingqiu looked at Chongyun, confused for a moment.
"You- what? Really?"
Chongyun hummed. "For years as well. That's why I feel so stupid," He laughed with a sad expression. Xingqiu slapped himself in the face. How could he not have realized sooner? And why did it take him so long to confess?
"Archons, we're both stupid for not getting the hint sooner. I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you."
"No, don't be sorry! It's on both of us."
Xingqiu sighed, having finally calmed down from their crying session and once again able to think rationally. He chewed his lip. What were they supposed to do now? Was it still appropriate for Xingqiu to head back to his home? Not that he didn't wanna stay, it's just that his father was a bit strict and likely wouldn't be very happy if Xingqiu came home late.
"Wait so, does this mean we're dating now...?" Xingqiu questioned, silently plucking at the loose threads on his shorts. Chongyun's gaze wandered.
"Ah.. I guess if you're ok with it," He scratched the back of his neck. The thought of dating Xingqiu was exhilarating. To imagine introducing him to someone as his boyfriend.. he could turn into a puddle over just that thought alone.
"Yeah- yes, of course," Xingqiu nodded vigorously, and Chongyun almost seemed dizzily flustered, so he grabbed the ice water that Xingqiu had brought previously and gulped down half the cup like there was no tomorrow. "Chill out man, you'll end up choking," He flicked his new boyfriend on the forehead, Chongyun protesting and taking another sip.
As Chongyun delicately placed the cup back on the nightstand, Xingqiu glanced outside his window. The moon filtered silently through the curtains, casting a soft glow that illuminated the two. The only other light in the room was a small, dim lamp sitting atop the nightstand, who's light hardly stretched to the other side of the room. Xingqiu spoke with a hushed tone. "The moonlight is a constant reminder that even in the vastness of the cosmos, our frienship shines brightly."
Chongyun held back a laugh. "You and your poetic way of putting things. You know you could've just said you love me," Though the thought of that made him go weak in the knees. "But yeah, I'm really glad I got to grow up next to you. You're probably the best friend I'll ever have, and I couldn't be more grateful for that. I've felt so guilty over the past few years for having a crush on you, because I felt like I was ruining something we worked so hard to gain. I didn't wanna lose our friendship over feelings I could just simply ignore. But I really am thankful for the bond we've created together."
Xingqiu watched Chongyun with a careful eye as he spoke, as his eyes danced around the room and his fingers pulled at the hems of his clothing. Chongyun was everything Xingqiu could have asked for. "I'm glad I met you too, and it's endearing to know that you feel the same way as I do. And I'd love to stay here longer but," He breathed a sigh as he shuffled off the bed. "I really should head home now. It's nearly midnight and my dad is probably gonna yell at me."
Without warning, he gave Chongyun another kiss on the forehead, then smiled and headed towards the door. "I promise we'll hang out tomorrow. I'll probably be at Wanmin waiting for you," He held the door ajar as he waved his last goodbye of the day. "Goodnight Snowshine," Chongyun's heart nearly bursted at the new nickname.
"Bye! I'll see you tomorrow then," And with that, Xingqiu was gone; leaving Chongyun a blushing mess on his bed, reflecting on everything that had happened that day. But, inevitably, he was too exhausted from exerting so much yang energy today that nearly the moment he rested his head, he drifted to sleep. Falling peacefully into a quiet slumber.
———
Word count: 6600
This took me 3 days to write, hope u enjoyed
For reference most of my oneshots take about 10 hours max 💪