<<Tragedy>>
"I did talk to Connor", I say whilst just wanting to hit my head against a wall.
"Oh." Shawn looks at me a little bit panicked. "What about?"
"About us."
"You mean you and I?"
"No. I mean him and I. He wanted us - him and me - do a try out."
Gosh, I feel so bad right now. Again.
It doesn't help that I keep repeating that Connor and I never were together and that he just hoped that we someday would be, but hearing him talk like this today – it just made my heart, that's feeling so happy since Shawn and I found together after the party, ache.
Shawn turns fully on the piano-chair and looks at me frowning. "About Connor and you? - Just assuring I got it right."
"You got it right." I close my eyes, imagining how happy Connor looked back then when we've met in this café – the guy I thought was working for the café. He's a good guy. If I had met him a month or two earlier – before Shawn and I started writing, and before the whole Mandy-is-falling-for-Shawn-extremely started, probably, probably, Connor would have been the perfect fitting guy for me.
Back then when I didn't know Shawn.
– If I didn't know Shawn (something I definitely do not wish that anymore due to the latest developments), than I would not have to break a sweet guy's heart.
I'm very sure that Connor is the perfect guy.
The right guy. Just at the wrong time.
And for another girl.
I look at Shawn. "Why do I have to be the one telling him the news again? Why don't you do it?"
"Eh - it's...", Shawn mumbles something into his nearly not excisting beard.
"Yeah?"
"Actually... I've already tried. But Connor's sometimes so... focussed."
"You did try?!"
"Yeah, well, I uhm", Shawn stops talking and runs his fingers over the piano keyboard. "Well, let's just say, Connor wanted to hear about what girl the news were talking about."
"But you didn't tell him?!"
"Apparently not. Or would he then have started with the whole "we should just try it"-thing?! My best friend would never do something like that if he knew about you and I."
"He did mention the news though", I say. "But why did he then... Oh. Oh!"
"What?"
I have an hypothesis. - Connor did read the news and now he was unconsious if it was me Shawn was dating or if it was someone else. He tried to overcome his fear by trying on me his idea of the whole "middle-age"-experiment.
My gosh. I really need to speak to Connor.
"For now, you can't do anything - just let us tell him when we meet him the next time in person."
"You meet him way more often, cause he tours with you a lot", I say looking frowning at Shawn. "Do you wanna lie at him?"
"No, I definitely don't want to. But now we've a little break - Christmas is coming up - and afterwards, we can speak to him as much as we want to, but at the moment I just don't know how to handle this", Shawn's running his fingers through his hair.
"We've just talked about this. It's not your job. It's mine." I snort. "I plan to meet up with him after Christmas. Or at least until New Year." I look at my smartphone. "He's gonna be alright, isn't he?"
Shawn looks at me, his gaze's wandering over my face, my body and back to my face. A little smile is appearing on his lips. Then he nods. "He's gonna be okay. He always makes the best out of everything. And there's no reason to be angry or something."
"You sound worried although."
"Well, I am." Shawn gives me now a grimace. "It's not a great situation for none of us."
I nod.
"We're all gonna be alright", Shawn says, sounding like he needs to reassure himself.
Then he opens his arms. "I think, we both could use a hug now, don't we?"
I couldn't agree more.
———————
AN:
Connor 💔❤️
🥲