THERE'S A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE when you find yourself standing at the crossroads of heartache and resilience, where the bitter winds of loss brush against the edges of your soul. For Charis, burdened by the weight of a life etched in tragedy, that moment was now.
Charis, cognizant that she wasn't the issue in this situation, often found herself grappling with a sense of self-blame—a common phenomenon for those experiencing emotional distress. Despite refraining from embracing the identity of a victim, she couldn't escape the nagging thought that somehow, it circled back to her.
Why had Cole kissed her amidst the stables, an occurrence she had dreamt of frequently, only to proceed to have a seemingly perfect day and then stand her up the following morning? Less than 24 hours had passed, and he was already giving her the cold shoulder.
While she pondered the possibility that her emotional outpouring might have triggered a sense of pity in Cole, she refused to allow herself to be mistreated. Even if she found herself on the perceived wrong side of the situation, Charis was determined not to accept mistreatment.
So Charis returned promptly after Cole stood her up. Initially, she blamed herself, reasoning that when she had been on her way and if she had changed her plans then she would have called to cancel. However, Cole's continued silence, coupled with a text from Dylan inquiring about the Lake House, left her increasingly frustrated.
At lunch with her family, Charis opened up about the idea of raising a foal. Austin's friend had a mare that birthed a colt but unfortunately passed away soon after, and Austin, inspired by the notion, left to make arrangements. Marilyn, initially skeptical of the sudden change of heart, suspected it might be connected to a certain blonde boy.
As the day progressed, Cole remained unresponsive, leaving Charis to go to bed feeling more annoyed with him than with herself.
The following morning, she, an early riser, took a shower and sought solace in the stables, which would gradually become her haven. The name "Malory" on the gate stirred emotions, serving as a reminder of her departed horse. Contemplating the placement of the foal in the adjacent stable, she returned indoors.
Charis brewed coffee for herself and the rest of the family as they prepared for the day. Despite thoughts of the Lake House lingering, her focus shifted to the immediate challenge: giving the cold shoulder to Cole. The only viable candidate for a ride to the lake house was the seemingly childish blonde boy who was currently ignoring her.
Dressed for school, Charis and her sister set off for the day. Arriving at the school, she stepped out of the car to let her sister park, and she made her way inside. With ten minutes left before class, she decided to quickly visit the restroom.
However, just as she entered, her phone pinged. She opened the bathroom door with her other hand, and to her surprise, she found herself in the men's bathroom. Dylan and a jock who were engaged in conversation and playing catch laughed at the unexpected sight.
"Sorry," Charis gasped, immediately looking up and realizing her mistake.
"No worries," Dylan replied with a smile.
Despite her embarrassment, she composed herself, backed out, and stepped outside. She couldn't help but notice a few curious looks from onlookers, anticipating the possibility of rumors starting.
Unaware of the unfolding scene, Cole and Danny approached from the opposite direction. Charis focused on reaching the women's bathroom, conveniently located next to the men's. Cole, observing the situation without context, assumed the worst as Dylan exited the bathroom right after Charis.
Jackie noticed Charis and approached her, receiving a warm smile in return.
"Are you feeling better?" Jackie asked genuinely.
"Sorry?" Charis smiled in confusion.
"Cole said you didn't come because you didn't feel alright?" Jackie said, referring to the invitation she had extended to Cole, insisting he invite Charis.
"What, where?" Charis blinked, not understanding anything.
"We went out to hang out. I told him to tell you. Well, the football team went out to celebrate, and the cheerleaders—Cole talked to us briefly but then he left with-" Jackie started rambling and abruptly stopped. Charis sensed the unspoken words, but she wanted to hear them.
"With who?" Charis asked, exhaling.
"With Erin," Jackie admitted, crumbling under Charis's gaze. Charis scoffed with a smile. Of course.
"Charis?" Jackie cautiously inquired.
"Don't worry about it," Charis reassured her, placing a hand on her shoulder and turning away.
Charis entered the women's restroom, drawing attention from a couple of cheerleaders. Their conversation abruptly halted as they began to murmur among themselves.
Charis couldn't help but roll her eyes at their attempt to whisper, given that she could hear every word clearly. The topic shifted to the lake house and organizing transportation, a scenario that might have played out dramatically in a high school movie. However, this was Silver Falls, not a movie, and Charis had no interest in engaging with the school's jocks, especially considering she couldn't drive. Another notification pinged on her phone.
With only six minutes to spare, she decided to wait for them to leave before freshening up in the bathroom. Leaning on the wall, she finally pulled out her phone and unlocked it to check the notifications:
- Tomorrow | Aster's 2 years
- In 1 week | Mom's 4 years
Upon seeing these reminders, Charis decided to leave the school and walked toward the city with a cigarette in her mouth, indifferent to the opinions of the town members.
Charis found herself entangled in a battle within her own mind, a struggle where elusive words and thoughts carelessly darted around, inflicting pain upon her soul like sharpened knives. She grappled with the inexplicable intensity of her emotions, especially considering that tomorrow marked three years since her brother's passing.
While she had navigated through this process several times before, with both Malory and her mother, the pain seemed to intensify instead of diminishing with each passing year. Charis questioned herself, contemplating the hypothetical scenarios that might have unfolded had her brother still been alive.
Perhaps he would have encouraged her to learn to drive, alleviating her fear of cars and winding roads. Maybe she would have returned to horseback riding, barrel racing, and other pursuits that now seemed distant dreams.
The harsh truth was that she missed her brother profoundly, which stirred self-loathing within her, as she considered it a selfish emotion. He was gone, and she felt compelled to let him rest in peace.
The walk wasn't overly long, and surprisingly, her leg ached less. Half a pack of cigarettes had vanished, and she carried a faint scent of smoke. As a distant bus approached, she recognized it as the one that would take her closer to home.
Running through pain, she made it to the bus stop, where the driver, familiar with her, patiently waited. The journey took around thirty minutes, with stops along the way. Upon disembarking, she faced a slightly uphill road with no sidewalk. An hour later, as she neared her house, a pang of realization struck her—her father could have been at home. Austin worked as a handyperson and often had jobs outside.
The windy weather agitated her, her hair swirling chaotically, and her bra strap slipping down her arm. Despite the chill, she felt very warm which agitated her even further. Upon arriving home, with no car in the driveway, she tossed her school bag into a corner and kicked off her shoes. Shedding her jacket, she threw it on the couch and took off her hoodie, leaving her in short sleeves.
Contemplating her choices at the liquor cabinet, she decided to indulge in a bottle of whiskey, planning to replace it before her father noticed. If her father could drink, then so could she, she reasoned.
In crocks, short sleeves, and jeans, she strolled to the garden patio, taking a swig from the whiskey bottle. Igniting a cigarette, she exhaled.
"So this is what the New York kids get up to," she mused, allowing the cold wind to embrace her exposed arms.
Now, she could redirect her attention to Cole, and she found his behavior utterly perplexing. Initially, he failed to invite her to join Jackie and her friends, and later, he left with Erin.
Did he intend to spend time with Jackie from the start? If so, why did he end up leaving with Erin? The secrecy around Jackie puzzled her. If Cole Walter were to stand before her at this moment, she felt the urge to hurl the whiskey bottle at his head. She couldn't believe his audacity. She was now filled to the brink with anger and frustration, with no way to dispose of it.
After consuming half a bottle of whiskey, Charis's phone incessantly pinged and eventually rang, displaying Danny's name. Despite the inclination to let it ring, she answered, her speech slightly slurred.
"What's up?" she greeted. On the other end, Danny, Cole, and Jackie listened. Cole narrowed his eyes, recognizing the off-tone in her voice.
"Where are you? Everyone's ready for the lake house," Danny inquired, ready to depart from the parking lot.
"Well, considering I can't drive and I can't walk, and given the fact that I'm at home," Charis replied, slouching in a chair outside, profoundly cold, but the whiskey provided warmth. Even Jackie could sense the tension now.
"Home? Alright, we'll come and get you," Danny decided.
"What? No! Look, it's fine. Just go; it isn't even in your direction," she swung the bottle, spilling a little on herself. What was it with the Walter boys? They always dropped everything for her.
The call ended, and Charis reckoned they would either be there in thirty minutes or not at all. But she wouldn't care to move. Fatigue setting in, she placed the bottle next to the cigarettes on the ground and leaned her neck back, gazing into the sky. Her body barely registered the cold now, and perhaps she could take a quick nap. With that final thought, Charis closed her eyes, letting the oncoming winter envelop her along with the lingering effects of the whiskey.
She was awoken by a horn, her head forming a dull ache. Sitting up from her crooked position, she pushed herself up. The alcohol's influence slightly wore off, and the bite of the cold hit her intensely. Picking up the bottle, she shoved the cigarettes in her pocket and walked inside.
As she passed through the kitchen, she was met with Cole standing in the middle of her hallway, looking astounded. He had never seen her like this. They both tensed as he approached and then Danny walked in behind him, stopping abruptly.
Cole took it as a sign to back off, realizing that no pleasant words would be exchanged if he continued. Danny greeted Charis cautiously, observing her pale blue eyes, colorless lips, and red nose.
"Charis, hey," he greeted her, and Cole listened intently from behind the wall.
"Hey, you really didn't have to come here," Charis said, tilting her head to the side and smiling at her friend.
"I'm sorry about anything that happened," he said pointing in the direction Cole went to.
"But let's not let that interfere with our friendship. Come on, you'll have fun," Danny said, walking toward her and taking the bottle from her hand.
"You can't just say it and think it'll happen," Charis sniffed, sighing, and Danny hugged her.
"Get freaking dressed; you're as cold as Antarctica," he added, prompting laughter from both of them.
Convinced, Charis put on her hoodie and grabbed her jacket. Although she complied, she kept the bottle and cigarettes. Exiting the house and locking it, she hid the keys under the doormat and walked toward the car where Jackie and Cole sat. Both were individuals she particularly didn't want to talk to right now. While Jackie had done nothing wrong, Charis knew she would attempt to engage in conversation.
In an awfully uncomfortable silence, Charis sensed that her presence was the cause. However, the sloshing whiskey bottle at every turn gave her newfound confidence. After a while, they arrived at the Lake House, coinciding with Erin, Olivia, and her friends getting out of their car. Confused looks were exchanged between the two parties. Cole and Jackie walked in front of Charis, and Cole offered his jacket to Jackie, a move that visibly agitated Erin. Walking alongside Charis, Danny observed the scene.
As they approached Dylan and the rest, Dylan greeted Charis with a smile.
"Hey! Didn't know you'd come," he said, content that she had arrived despite not responding to his messages. Intrigued and appreciative of her kindness, he found her presence intriguing.
"Me either," Charis shrugged, smiling sincerely as she looked into his eyes.
"I see you've brought booze," Dylan laughed, noting the bottle in her hand.
"We can share," Charis responded with a laugh.
The entire interaction left Cole seething, yet he chose to do nothing about it.
As the party unfolded and more people let loose, Olivia approached Charis, offering shots. Similar to Jackie, Charis accepted, downing the shots before retreating inside the house. She lay down on the couch, finishing her bottle. Feeling utterly defeated and tired, she found no joy in the festivities.
Dylan passed by and, after a brief pause, returned to sit with her. Engaging in small talk, they conversed as if they had known each other for years. Despite Dylan's efforts to uplift her spirits, Charis remained upset and inebriated. She appreciated his kindness, taking time out of hosting to chat and make her laugh. Dylan was considerate, but he wasn't Cole, and at that moment, Charis wasn't even sure if she wanted Cole by her side.
He gently assisted her to her feet, and Danny sent a thankful nod to Dylan for bringing her back to the party. They returned outside, attracting fewer glances, and as a seat next to Jackie became available, Charis took it, offering her a smiling glance. The effects of alcohol were quite evident now, and she was undoubtedly buzzed. Erin sat next to Cole.
"All right, who wants to go skinny-dipping with me?" Dylan asked rhetorically, he was going to do it on his own anyway.
"Dylan, it's, like, 40 degrees in there, man" Danny objected, looking at him like he was insane.
"Then I guess I'll need somebody to keep me warm." Dylan laughed, undressing himself. He winked at Charis, and she rolled her eyes sarcastically. Cole looking intently. Danny sat on the arm of Charis's chair.
"Yeah, and someone to build you a fire so you don't get hypothermia," Danny told him
Dylan, still wearing Cole's old jersey number, inhaled deeply, drawing attention to himself.
"Hey, man. It's not the NFL." Dylan attempted to reason with Cole.
"You know, we don't retire numbers, and since I took over your spot..."
"It's fine. It's not like I'm on the team anymore, right?" Cole said, standing up, hoping to shut down the topic.
"Exactly." Dylan stood his ground, looking back at him.
"Danny's right. One fire coming up." Cole walked away, hoping to avoid further confrontation.
Charis considered going after Cole, or perhaps Erin should have, but no one did. The miscommunication hung in the air, leaving Charis hurt and unsure. While the girls went skinny-dipping, Charis decided to mend things with Cole. Swaying and stumbling through the woods, the pain in her leg resurfaced, prompting her to drink more. She reached Cole, who was chopping wood.
"I figured I should be the bigger person and start the conversation," Charis chuckled, trying to ease the tension.
"How thoughtful of you," Cole responded with hands on his hips, delivering his words with rudeness.
"What's with that tone?" Charis retorted, clearly irritated by his response.
"What's with Dylan?" he fired back in a similar manner.
"Correction. Check your tone," Charis snapped, and a realisation dawned on Cole that he needed to apologize. Stepping closer, he looked into her eyes.
"I'm sorry that I stood you up," he apologised sincerely. Charis couldn't help but gaze at his beautiful features.
"And you didn't go to Parker's game either," she added, almost questioning. He nodded, and then she remembered.
"Anything else?" she asked, testing him. A sudden realization struck Cole.
"Like what?" he treaded carefully.
"Like when you went out with Jackie and her frie-" she intended to ask why he hadn't extended Jackie's invitation to her, but he rudely cut her off.
"So what, now I should tell you where I go and with who I'm with?" he responded, hands flying out of his pockets.
"I didn't say that," she raised her voice, and typical of Cole, he began building walls and pushing people away.
"You're just like Erin," he scoffed, leaving Charis in disbelief.
"I'm just like Erin?" she exclaimed loudly.
"You're the one that left with her not even 24 hours after you kissed me!" she yelled, and a tense silence followed as they processed the revelation. Cole now knew that she knew everything.
"Charis," he attempted to explain.
"No, you know what. Keep that attitude going, see where it gets you," she snapped, leaving the scene and returning to the house.
Cole was overwhelmed with guilt for causing Charis pain and regretted his actions. He knew he had no excuse for hurting her, but he had done it anyway. As he returned with wood to continue the party, he observed an amused Danny attempting to handle a drunk Charis, while Jackie seemed to be reaching a similar state.
Charis, Jackie, and Danny engaged in a conversation about Danny's late-night activities. He explained that he studied movies during the night without interruptions and expressed his interest in figuring out where he fit in the world of acting.
Jackie, intrigued, asked if all the actors wanted to be the lead. Danny chuckled and admitted that he didn't think he would ever be the lead, especially in a world where people like Cole existed. Charis frowned at the mention.
Jackie continued to share his perspective, expressing that she understood what it was like to live in someone's shadow. Jackie sighed, speaking about her sister Lucy, who seemed effortlessly cool and different from her. Unfortunately, Lucy was no longer around.
Charis, empathetic to Jackie's feelings, offered support, suggesting that they could talk about it whenever Jackie felt ready. However, Jackie declined the offer for the moment, and Charis respected her decision, emphasizing that the offer was always open.
As the game of Truth or Dare unfolded, tensions rose and Charis, steadily getting more intoxicated, needed support from Danny to stay upright. The group stood in a circle around the fire, ready for the next round.
When Olivia chose Ruby and asked her a probing question about another friend, Paige, Ruby opted to avoid the truth by kissing the person to her left, which happened to be Dylan. This unexpected move left Jackie confused.
As the game continued, both Jackie and Charis became increasingly drunk, and Danny took on the responsibility of helping her stay steady. The group explained their modified version of the game, where participants could pass their turn by kissing the person to their left and then switching places.
When Olivia's turn came, she decided to target Cole with a pointed question about his feelings regarding Dylan taking his spot and number on the team. Cole, clearly uncomfortable, declared that he was done with the game and chose to quit.
Erin stood with crossed arms, voicing her opinion. "Not surprising. Quitting things is kind of your MO these days," Charis slurred in her inebriated state. Cole opted to dismiss the comment, choosing not to engage with it.
"Okay, whoa," Cole said as he caught Jackie, who had stumbled slightly. Turning around to face Erin, he smirked, casting a fleeting glance at Charis.
"You wouldn't," Erin challenged, already anticipating Cole's intentions.
"Oh, I wouldn't?" Cole replied, a mischievous gleam in his eye.
He leaned in for a kiss from Jackie, but she threw up before he had the chance. Charis had reached her limit with the chaotic events at the party. Unaware of the unfolding drama, she was nearly asleep. Meanwhile, Jackie hastily ran away from the embarrassing situation, leaving Charis sitting down, gazing at her shoes with a sense of sadness. The dream that Cole had briefly given her had been abruptly snatched away, leaving her back at square one.
Danny, recognizing his brother's significant mistake, put a comforting hand on Charis's back. He knew Cole had messed up greatly. Danny left to find Jackie, leaving Cole alone with Charis, who had her head in her hands. As the party concluded, they assisted the girls in getting back into the car. Charis pleaded with the boys not to drive her home, fearing her dad's reaction. Danny quickly reassured Marilyn via text that her sister was safe and not to worry. The car drove to the Walter residence, with the girls mostly asleep during the ride.
Upon arrival, Jackie unexpectedly gained a burst of energy, while Cole helped Charis get on her feet. Cole, shirtless, and Jackie greeted Mrs. Walter in the kitchen. Katherine, noticing the unusual appearance, commented, "Can't wait to hear this explanation." The boys briefly explained they had been at a party, emphasizing that they had coerced the girls to attend. Katherine bid them goodnight, and Cole and Jackie stayed downstairs, while Danny and Charis headed upstairs.
Charis, with a foggy brain, sat on the floor with her head against the bed, almost drifting off to sleep. A few minutes later, Katherine came up to assist Jackie, and Cole approached Charis. Without uttering a word, he handed her some sleepwear, a glass of water, and helped her brush her teeth and her hair.
Knowing she might need ice for her leg in the morning, he brought it to her. The atmosphere remained silent until they heard Jackie returning. Cole kissed Charis in the corner of her mouth and whispered an apology. Charis responded with a simple "I know," leaving her uncertain about whether forgiveness could be granted.
━━ 𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙖 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘀 !
kind of a sloppy chapter?
maybe not what you were expecting?
i might not update for a hot minute because i need to study a lot but don't worry, updates will be coming
vote, comment, tell me how you liked this chapter ;)