To love and to Hate

By allisung111

28.9K 1.6K 1.7K

Jisung is a fire mage. Minho is a water mage. They've been rivals since they met two years ago. In fact, they... More

1: A rivalry of elements
2: A long road
3: No room
4: No competition
5: Not worth it
6: Are you taking care of me?
7: Goblins
8: Safe travels
9: A game not to be played
11: Questions of the mind
12: A deal
13: A dangerous mystery
14: Trust issues
15: Conflict and confessions
16: You're the one I must trust?
17: Snakes in the grass
18: Rushing emotions
19: Who you are to me
20: On accident
21: Who you really are
22: Trapped
23: Minho's story
24: I've got you
25: I missed you too
26: Our way out
27: One last time
28: In the end
Epilogue: With You

10: Crumbling

1K 54 80
By allisung111

Jisung flinched, inhaling deeply as a headache poked into the curtain of unconsciousness veiling his mind. The air smelled different than he was used to, it was cool and light. The headache made its presence fully known when his eyes opened, and his brows furrowed instantly.

The wall a few feet away was unfamiliar, and... his bed was most definitely not on a raised platform. He shot upright despite the pounding in his head and frantically took in his surroundings.

The studio apartment laid out in front of him was bigger than his own, with wooden beams criss-crossing the ceiling and reaching down to the floor in a few spots. An almost bizarre amount of rugs covered the wood floors throughout the living area and surrounding the platform the bed was on. The furniture was all either dark brown or a very subtle shade of tea green.

Jisung's mind raced through the night before. He needed to think beyond the pleasure he remembered and conjure up who he was with. Then he remembered anger and lust combining, the image of a familiar figure looming over him.

Right then, Minho came around the corner dressed in loose trousers and a deep red shirt that hung loose on his shoulders and had ribbons trailing around the waist. Those ribbons were usually cinched and tied away when he wore it. He was fluffing his hair with a towel, and he stopped at the bottom of the platform upon seeing Jisung sitting up.

They stared at each other.

"No no no no no," Jisung rambled, shaking his head as he moved to get up. He wanted to disintegrate when he realized the only thing covering him was the blanket, and his clothes were scattered in a trail from the front door. He shoved his hands into his hair, pulling on the strands for a few seconds to ground himself. "This did not happen."

"But it did," Minho finally said, dropping the towel onto his shoulders.

Jisung grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at him. "I was drunk!"

Minho batted the pillow away. "I was too, genius. We both fucked up, we're even."

"This can't be real. This shouldn't have happened, this didn't happen. Jisung used the blanket to cover himself as he hurried to gather his clothes.

"You can't turn back time, darling. Besides, you obviously enjoyed it."

Jisung turned to glare at Minho, but his mind stuttered. As Minho was turning away, Jisung saw red scratches painted on his golden skin, very obviously peeking out from the low cut of the shirt he wore. His cheeks grew red.

But apparently that wasn't what Minho was showing him, because the water mage picked up a pair of pillow cases. "See?" The cases were partially scorched.

Jisung's jaw dropped. Had he ever let his magic slip while in the bedroom? The answer was a definite no, but there was no way he was going to admit that out loud.

"Yeah, you almost burned my place to the ground, it's a good thing I have the ability to put your magic out."

Jisung began throwing his clothes on, not even caring that Minho was watching him. They just slept together, it's not like there was much to hide anyway. "I can't believe I got drunk enough to let this happen."

"At least you found satisfaction, unlike you would have if you went with that man." Minho was walking toward the kitchen area, but Jisung could hear the smirk in his voice. "I will say that guy missed out too, you really know what you're doing."

Jisung's clothes were haphazardly hanging off his body now, but they were on. "Stop talking. This didn't happen, Minho." He moved for the door.

"What, you're not even going to stay for breakfast?" Minho sneered from across the way.

Jisung ignored the insufferable man behind him and ran out the door, letting it slam behind him. The sun was too bright, and nausea grew with the dizziness that filled his head. The details of the night before were blurry and dark, but the memory of it all was etched into his body, like his skin could remember everything he couldn't.

He couldn't deny that he was satisfied, and that only made this situation all the more worse. The person he hated was not supposed to make him feel good in any way, shape, or form.

Jisung had a small moment of panic when he couldn't find the key to his apartment, but he eventually did in the pocket of his shirt, and he fumbled with the lock clumsily. He stumbled inside just in time to vomit, and he was grateful for dark wooden floors that were easy to clean.

He slumped onto the floor, letting his back hit the wall as he stared at the mess he made in shame. His living space was quiet. So quiet that it made his thoughts loud enough to worsen his headache.

He messed up, to put it lightly.

I slept with Mage Minho. It wasn't a dream, it wasn't a nightmare. It actually happened. Fuck.

The feeling of Minho's lips tracing his skin flashed through his mind and burned on his skin. He shook his head, as if that would rid of the thoughts and memories spilling into his mind.

How had it ever come to this? When did he ever think of Minho with anything but hatred? How did lust cloud his thoughts and actions?

"It's time I tame you, isn't it, darling?"

Jisung flinched, hating the way his body reacted to the memory of Minho's voice, and he staggered to his feet. He rushed into the washroom, and yet another wave of nausea rolled through him at the sight of his appearance in the mirror he'd propped on an old vanity he found dumped behind an inn. His eyes were tired and dark, his hair screamed the fact that he slept with someone, and his neck and upper chest adorned a few love bites. Even the one over his mage mark was clearly visible.

"Maybe I need to leave Goldenspire and move to another country."

✿✿✿

Jisung no longer believed in luck. He planned on locking himself away for a few days since he could afford to do so for once, but his guild master had other plans. After a lengthy bath and a small breakfast that tasted like regret and shame, he received a message from the guild calling for a general meeting. General meetings were rare and always important, so this wasn't something he would be able to sit out.

For a short time he fought with himself, and he was partially tempted to chase that messenger girl down so she could pass on the word that he was now a retired mage.

But giving up on everything and hiding away would mean that Minho won. He would rather die than allow the water mage to hold anything over his head.

Nothing happened. Jisung didn't even leave his apartment last night. He didn't even know Mage Minho was out and about drinking the night away. In fact, he hadn't looked at Minho in over a week. Yes, that was the reality.

It took some time, but Jisung eventually gathered himself together and even felt a boost of confidence as he left his apartment. He Minho was nothing more than a one time thing, a one time mistake. And he wasn't the only one that gave into temptation, the other mage was just as responsible. It wasn't the end of the world, and in the end one messy night wasn't going to make a difference.

The warm sun and fresh air helped Jisung's state significantly as he made his way to the guild, and the dread that was previously weighing down on his shoulders slowly lifted. There was no harm in feeling good for a night, and that was all Jisung was going to appreciate. Everything was fine.

So why was his mind circling the same thing over and over again? Why were his thoughts repeating the fact that everything was fine? Why were his thoughts crowding over with images and sounds of Minho last night?

The swirling words and images suddenly vanished when Jisung's eyes caught onto the figure of the very man he was thinking of while he passed by a small, dead-end street.

What is Minho doing down this way?

Jisung redirected his course instantly, checking his surroundings before scaling the nearest building. He crept along the edge overlooking the street, drawing just close enough to see everything more clearly.

Minho was talking to a tall, oddly skinny man with crude eyebrows and a bald head. Well, it looked more like he was scolding him.

"-is that clear?" Minho's voice finally reached Jisung's ears.

"You're awfully bold speaking to me in such a way."

Minho's head tilted, and Jisung wished he could see his expression, if only to understand what was going on here. "Being bold is how I've survived, and you should be glad that I'm only being bold when I could very easily become cruel. This isn't a game, and if anyone gets in my way or hinders me, such as yourself, I will see to it that they are taken care of. Am I clear?"

The man stepped back, crossing his arms. "And the pay I'm looking for?"

"You'll receive what is promised, as long as you can follow through."

"And if I refuse your offer?"

"I'll find someone else." Minho raised his head. "I walk away in five seconds, or you agree to my terms."

A strange sensation rushed through Jisung at the dangerous tone lacing Minho's voice and sharpening his words. Sometimes he forgot he was actually very intimidating and not just annoying.

The man held his hand up. "Looks like we've reached an agreement."

Minho barely glanced at the hand extended toward him. "Good. And I do not shake hands with anyone that changes their loyalty as often as I change clothes. I'll be in contact with you." He turned on his heel and strode out of the alley, adjusting the ties of his shirt. Jisung hadn't even realized that Minho had changed clothes hiding the scratched carving his skin.

Jisung waited for the strange man to leave, his eyes narrowed in thought. The man felt familiar, for some reason, like Jisung had seen him before. But as a traveling mage, he met hundreds of people within months, so pinpointing where he'd seen the man before was virtually impossible. And he had a meeting to get to, there was no time to shuffle through the messy cards of his memory.

It felt strange seeing the guild so full of mages all at once when he arrived. Everyone ran their own schedules, and most jobs required days and possible weeks of travel, so seeing so many together was a rare sight.

Jisung lightly cursed himself when his eyes automatically found Minho across the assembly hall. He was leaning one shoulder against the wall, fluffing his already messy raven hair as he talked to Seungmin. Of course, the night before slammed into Jisung at full force with that sight, and for the millionth time he wished Minho was an ugly bastard.

"Jisung!" an excited voice came, yanking Jisung's attention away from the issue across the room. Jeongin was smiling brightly as he approached.

A smile easily found its way onto Jisung's face. Jeongin looked good, his skin was no longer pale from living on an ice cube, his posture held an easy confidence that drew attention, and he finally had the mark of a mage etched on his neck in deep green ink.

"Wow, who is this handsome stranger?" Jisung asked, raising an eyebrow in a dramatic way.

Jeongin laughed lightly. "Whoa, I wouldn't say I'm handsome."

"Shut up, you so are," Jisung scolded, softly smacking his shoulder.

"If you say so. How have you been?"

It feels like I fell off a cliff and landed on a few jagged rocks before slapping into a slab of stone. "I've been fine, just working here and there when I'm bored." Jisung wasn't prepared for further questions, so he quickly turned the conversation around. "What about you? I've heard a lot about the amazing new mage in Goldenspire, it seems like you've been adjusting well."

Jeongin nodded enthusiastically. "I've had a few jobs already, I actually just got back from a small one just south of Ninth Port. I'm still staying at the inn down the street, but otherwise I think I'm getting the hang of things."

Jisung led them to a few seats. "Do you like it so far?"

"Oh, I love it. I've never had this much freedom before, so it feels like I can... do anything."

Pride bloomed in Jisung's chest. He could see himself in Jeongin, and seeing him do so well while experiencing flight for the first time was amazing. "And you can do anything. Your magic is strong, and it'll only get stronger as you work."

Jeongin lit up. "I've been working on it! I grew a huge tree in the courtyard behind the main hall, you'll probably see it when you leave."

"An entire tree?!"

Jeongin lightly chuckled. "Yeah. Oh, and Chan offered an area of the back garden to practice on. I sort of grew a lot of fruit the other day, did you want any? I won't be able to eat it all before it goes bad."

"I will never say no to free food. And did you say you're living at the inn?"

Jeongin waved his hands. "Yes, but you don't have to worry about that. Mage Minho is paying for it until I can land on my feet."

Jisung's jaw dropped. He was going to ask why he wasn't staying in the dorms, but that only drew a different set of questions to the surface. He just saw Minho threatening and negotiating with a suspicious man, and yet he was paying for Jeongin's stay? Before he could say anything, they were interrupted.

"Well, look who showed up!" Changbin noisily announced his presence, plopping into a seat on the other side of Jeongin. "Mage Jisung, you need to stop drinking so much when you go out."

Jisung's eyes widened. "How did you know I was out last night?"

"I saw you at the tavern. Looked like you were having plenty to drink, so I left you alone."

He didn't dare ask if Changbin saw Minho there as well, that would only open a huge can of worms he didn't want to deal with.

"It was just one of those nights."

"Invite me next time, Seungmin doesn't know how to go crazy."

"That's because he's not an alcoholic like we are."

Changbin laughed and then turned his attention to Jeongin. "You're... Jeongin, right?"

Jeongin's ever-present smile widened. "Yes, that's me."

Changbin shook his hand. "I'm a little late to the party, but welcome to Goldenspire."

"Oh, thank you."

The pair fell into a conversation about their powers, and Jisung's mind skipped away. Minho was paying for Jeongin's stay at the inn? That didn't make sense. He never did anything without an ulterior motive, but what could that possibly be with the innocent plant mage? Was he just being nice? That wasn't possible. Right?

The doors of the assembly hall suddenly flew open with a rush of ice-cold air, gaining the attention of everyone. Two lithe figures strode in, mist swirling around their feet. Both men were blonde, their hair grown out to their necks, and their bright blue eyes were obvious even from across the room. One looked a little more angelic with softer eyes and a relaxed jaw line while the taller one was more devilish, with bigger, more intimidating eyes and a face carved from stone.

"Holy shit," Changbin whispered.

Jisung's brows furrowed as murmurs and whispers erupted through the room. "Bin, who are they?"

"Oh right, you weren't here yet when they left." Changbin pivoted in his seat and began explaining everything so quickly Jisung had a hard time keeping up. "That's Felix and Hyunjin, the Cold Devils. They grew up together in Silvershear during their civil war, so they've always been incredibly strong and... well, intense.

"They killed this corrupt duke and his entire family because they were allegedly trafficking people, but because they're mages and because they killed them in a cruel way, they were banished to the Isle of Cruel Atonement."

Jisung's jaw dropped once again. Despite the not so creative name, the prison was hell on earth. It was a huge island that was heavily inhabited by monsters and creatures that hunted anything that moved. The climate was harsh, whether it was boiling in the summer or bitterly cold in the winter. 

Only the criminals deemed as the worst or the most dangerous were sent there. If any prisoner managed to survive and find a way off the island, it was believed that they deserved a second chance, and they were welcomed back into society, thus the name 'Cruel Atonement.'

Changbin was already looking back at the Cold Devils. "I can't believe they're alive, let alone back here."

Much like everyone else, Jisung stared at them, his thoughts whirling. If they managed to survive on the Isle, unlike ninety-five percent of prisoners, they were beyond strong. Felix and Hyunjin were stone-faced, and as they drew closer, Jisung noticed a large scar on the side of the taller one's neck, trailing from his ear all the way down to his collarbones, and the other one had a slight limp. No doubt they went through hell.

Now that the initial shock had faded away, the hall was filled with conversations once again, some still very clearly talking about the Devils that entered so dramatically. Jeongin began asking Changbin more questions about them, but Jisung's attention was still on the newcomers because they had seemingly recognized Minho.

Minho grinned widely, erasing the surprised expression he held a moment before, and he clapped the taller one on the back before doing the same to the other man.

How the hell does he know them? They're from another country and he joined Goldenspire after me.

Another mystery about the water mage Jisung would never be able to solve.

A few minutes later, Chan made his way to the small stage at the front of the hall and called all attention forward. Several mages rushed to take seats, and Minho sat just ahead of them to the right. He winked at Jisung over his shoulder. He flipped him off in return.

Once all was quiet, Chan began. "Thank you for making it here today on such short notice. Most of you were close by for once, so I decided to call this meeting today. Enforcement has finally released a statement about the Unseen. I'm sure you know who they are, but if you don't, the Unseen is basically a cult against mages. They were deemed harmless, but as of late, that has changed. Today, they have a few things to announce." He motioned to a man with slicked back hair and golden spectacles, who was wearing a midnight blue uniform of Magic Enforcement.

The Enforcer stepped forward and cleared his throat. "As of two days ago, the Unseen took over Midbrook. The residents have been locked down or killed for attempting to escape. According to one witness, they have several mages held captive and others willingly working for them. We have yet to discover a motive or a goal for this, but we are working to handle them.

"For now, we ask for cooperation from the guilds in obeying the following temporary rules." He unraveled a scroll. "All mages are to report to their guild master before accepting a job and after completing it. All mages are to be assigned a partner for jobs and traveling outside the city their guild is over. All mages ranked in the Red are banned from leaving their resident city until further notice."

Jisung's blood boiled as the last rule rang throughout the hall. In the world of magic, powers were ranked based on how potentially 'dangerous' they could be, Green being the safest such as healer mages, Red being the most dangerous, such as fire mages. Being born of fire meant being born to be hated, to be feared.

While he seethed, the man at the front continued. "We thank you for your understanding while we contain the situation. Further information will be provided to your guild master, so if you have any questions or concerns, you may go to him."

Chan took over again. "If it comes to a certain point, Enforcement will request our services, and we are to be prepared at all times to receive any orders."

"So if they can't clean this mess up, we'll be expected to do it for them?" Someone near the front questioned with a sneer.

Voices raised in agreement, and Chan looked like he could use a strong drink.

The Enforcer beside him remained expressionless and cold as he raised his voice above the noise. "As a mage, you are contracted to follow the rules of Magic Enforcement, and that includes working with them in times of unrest and violence."

A few sparks danced along Jisung's fingertips, and he clenched his hands, willing himself to remain calm so that he wouldn't prove the biases against his magic right. Fire was wild and dangerous, but that didn't mean every mage with the ability to control it was the same way. He felt a pair of eyes on him, and he glanced over to see Changbin looking at him in slight concern.

"I'm okay," Jisung whispered, though he could feel fire burning through his bones and threatening to burst.

Changbin nodded, and then his eyes flicked down to Jisung's neck. His eyes narrowed, then moved to Minho.

Jisung pretended to look away, but he watched as Changbin glanced between him and Minho three times. Then understanding lit his eyes.

Oh no.

"Come speak to me about  questions and concerns, for now, this meeting is adjourned," Chan announced from the front, practically yelling in order to be heard properly. Mages started getting up and filling the hall again.

Changbin muttered something to Jeongin, and then he switched spots with him. "Ji, I think you, uh, missed a spot." He gestured to his own neck.

Jisung's eyes basically popped out of his head and he instantly slapped a hand over his neck as his face heated. "What- what are you talking about?"

"That little mark on the side of your neck clearly screams the fact you had some fun last night." Changbin's mouth slowly twisted into a smirk. "Did you forget to cover that or did you leave it on purpose?"

"Of course I forgot! I had a few to cover so- wait, shit, I wasn't supposed to say that." Jisung jumped to his feet, feeling the need to run before he was completely cornered in this crowd, but Changbin and his damn strength stopped him with a simple grab to his arm.

Changbin was on his feet now. "You were with Minho, weren't you?"

Shit. Jisung knew the color filling his cheeks gave him away but he shook his head anyway. "What the hell? I wasn't with the man I hate," he hissed, praying his friend wouldn't be loud about this like always.

Mercifully, Changbin suppressed his laughter, barely managing to keep it quiet. "Holy crap, it's true! How? Why? Was it good?"

"Stop talking right now, Changbin, or I swear I will burn your house to the ground," Jisung threatened, fighting off the memories from last night again. "We were drunk, it was stupid, therefore it didn't happen."

"Jisung-"

"No," Jisung pulled away a bit roughly, "we're not talking about this now or ever. Please don't tell anyone, it was the biggest mistake of my life."

Changbin nodded. "I know, I won't spill your business to anyone, I promise. But what's going on there?"

"Nothing. I'm just... trying to forget about it." Jisung's eyes caught onto Minho's suddenly, and he swore under his breath "I have to go before I accidentally burn the guild to the ground, my day has just been getting worse."

Changbin's eyes softened. "Hey, if you ever need anything you can come to me, you know that, right?"

A small tie twisted in Jisung's heart. "Yes, I know, I just... need a few days to process." Minho was walking toward them now. "I've gotta go."

Jisung quickly said goodbye to Jeongin and then retreated, pointedly avoiding the Enforcer to stop himself from lighting the man on fire. He cut through one of the side doors, but he didn't make it very far in the small hallway leading to his escape.

A hand clamped onto his wrist and pulled. His back hit the wall and he froze as Minho cornered him.

"You've gotten awfully good at running away from me, darling," he said, placing a hand above Jisung's head. "Care to explain why you're running now?"

Why was Jisung's heart running a marathon in his chest right now? "I hate you, do I need another explanation?"

Minho fingers, which were around his wrist, slowly traced up his arm. "Relax, okay?" It wasn't until that moment that Jisung noticed the fire dancing along his arm and the water floating around Minho's fingers putting it out without coming in contact with his skin. It was a strangely... gentle action.

His mouth opened but no words came out.

"Are you calm enough for a conversation now?" Minho's low voice was not supposed to make Jisung feel like this.

He took a steadying breath. "And what, exactly, is there to talk about?"

Minho suddenly grabbed Jisung's jaw softly and turned his head to the side. His other hand drew a small circle on the side of his neck, right on the mark he failed to cover. "Do I really need to specify?"

A different type of heat traveled through Jisung's body, and he pushed Minho away. "Please don't. I already told you this morning, that didn't happen." He turned to leave.

"Why don't we make it happen again?"

Jisung halted and dared to look at Minho again. "What?"

Minho's eyes danced over Jisung, the look in them dangerous but impossible to interpret. "You heard me. So... Would you like to hear my idea, or are you going to run away again?"

------------------------ Oooooooooo

Lots happening in this chapter, hopefully you kept up with it, lol. I didn't realize how much info is just dumped in this chapter so sorry about that lol.

Happy New Year! we're alive for another year wtf lol.

Thanks for reading :]

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