True to his words, we really ate dinner at one of the ramen houses. I missed eating one, so we decided to just eat here.
The warm and mellow lighting creates a relaxing atmosphere. When you enter the place, you are greeted by a minimalist interior design. The wooden furniture is nicely arranged in the corners, and there are also some Japanese artwork lanterns.
It features an open kitchen concept, allowing guests to watch professional chefs create their ramen bowls. The sounds and scents coming from the kitchen accentuate the whole dining experience.
Hunt chose a table for two. Malapit lamang sa glass window para makakita rin kami ng magandang tanawin.
"Order as much as you want. It's on me." he said as he sat in his chair.
I just hummed as a response and took the menu. All the delicacies seem to be mouth-watering. But most of them contain seafood. So I chose the safest one.
"I'll have fried pork gyoza and tonkotsu ramen."
"Is that all, maam?" the waiter asked as she listed all my orders.
I looked at Hunt. "What's your order?"
"I'll just have the same as you ordered."
The waiter nodded. "What else, ma'am, sir?"
"That's all. Also, please don't put any seafood, please." Hunt requested.
Umalis na ang waiter at naiwan kaming dalawa.
I tapped my fingers on the table as I watched the cars passing by. The city light kind of got my attention.
"You like ramen?"
Nabasag ang katahimikan sa tanong niyang iyon.
"Yeah."
Hindi ko alam kailan nagsimula ang pagkagusto ko sa ramen. I just remembered that I started craving it when I first tried one.
The same guy I always dreamed of suddenly flashed through my mind. Hindi ko na siya kilala, or maybe I decided to forget my past for good.
I was playing in the forbidden land again. The house is so boring that I went here to play. Corine is in the house, so I couldn't stay there peacefully without her throwing insults at me.
While I was playing in the swing made of tire, the boy appeared again. This time, he didn't come empty-handed. He was holding a plastic bag with noodles.
I rolled my eyes at him and pushed myself so the swing would move faster. He showed me what he brought. Indeed, it was ramen. I haven't tried one since.
"I have ramen for you." he offered.
"And?" pagsusuplada ko.
He looks shocked by my response, but nakabawi rin at tiningnan ako ng pabiro. "Peace offering."
Natatakam ako, kaya tinanggap ko na lang. He looked happy when I took it. After that, he took his tumbler, which contains hot water, to cook the ramen.
"Most of their food here has seafood. Why chose this place?" Hunt curiously asked.
"It's my favorite place so far."
I dreamed of eating here when I was a kid. My dream that my mom doesn't want for me. She doesn't like it when I mention anything related to ramen. This is probably the reason why I haven't tried it since I was still living under the same roof as her. But as it turns out, it became my comfort food.
My mom is cold as ice every time she faces me. It felt like she was putting a barrier between us. A kind of wall I couldn't seem to enter and break. I always questioned her treatment of me, but I always got nothing for an answer. Am I an orphan? Adopted? No one knows. Or maybe I'm the only one who doesn't know.
"I'm sorry." he said.
I looked at him and smiled. "It's fine. You weren't aware."
He looks so worried, but seeing me alive and well makes him take a deep breath.
"By the way, we will be having our camping by next week." he opened a topic.
I diverted all my attention towards him.
"What about it?" I asked.
"It was said in the meeting earlier. Looks like something's bothering you."
I licked my lower lip at tumikhim. "W-well, I was thinking of something. Sorry."
Tiningnan niya ako ng mariin. He looks like he's reading my mind.
"What? You don't believe me?"
Seryoso siyang umiling. "I do believe you, alright. It's just that... This is the first time you became unattentive during meetings."
Tama naman siya. I'm always composed and all ears during meetings. Eto lang ata yung meeting na lutang ako.
"May iniisip lang."
He sighed and just looked away. Tahimik kami habang naghihintay sa order.
I don't know saan patungo itong estado naming dalawa. Hindi naman siya nanliligaw, and I will be lying if I say that I'm not enjoying this.
He always brings me food sa office, sends me home, and now takes me out for dinner. Yes, he wants to make it up to me because of what happened, but I think people around us would think we're dating. I mean, he doesn't do this to Yudis or to Ace. Mas matagal silang naging magkaibigan kesa sa akin. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't ask Ace for dinner, na silang dalawa lang. Well, he likes me, alright. I'm aware of that. Sinabi niya rin naman yun na gusto niya ako.
Napabuga na lang ako ng malalim na hininga sa iniisip. Palagi na lang ganito.
Natigil lang ako dahil dumating na ang order namin. The aroma of the foods served made me hungry.
I looked at Hunt, and he was already looking at me. It seems like he was staring at me all this time.
Nauna akong nag-iwas ng tingin at tumulong sa pag-ayos ng aming order sa mesa.
"Let's eat. I know you're hungry." he uttered as he took his chopsticks.
I prayed silently for a while before starting to dig into my ramen.
"Make sure to blow it first, para hindi mainit." he reminded as we started eating.
I just hummed as a response and did what he said. We are silent as we eat.
The food was delicious.
"Do you like it?" putol niya sa katahimikan.
"Yeah." maikling sagot ko.
Bahagya pa akong napaso nang hinigop ko ang sabaw ng ramen kaya napakunot ang noo ko sa init.
"Dahan-dahan. "aniya at binigyan ako ng tissue.
"Salamat."
He's so attentive. Kapag napapansin niyang paubos na ang tubig ko, lalagyan niya ulit.
Nang matapos kumain ay hindi ko na alam ang susunod na gagawin. Should we leave already? But katatapos lang namin kumain.
"So, wanna go home?" he asked after a while.
Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. He didn't mind my reaction, and he just checked the time on his watch.
"For a while. Busog pa ako." I replied, and drank my water.
"Ok. Ihahatid naman kita."
Yeah. Like usual. Hindi na ako nagulat sa offer niya. He always does that.
Binalot kami ulit ng katahimikan. Hindi ko alam paano niya natitiis sa tuwing hindi kami nag-uusap. Kung ibang tao to, na-bored na siguro.
Biglang tumunog ang aking cellphone. Napasulyap siya nang kinuha ko sa bulsa ang phone. It was Khael.
"Sorry," I uttered, clearing my throat.
"No. It's fine. You can answer it." he said, and he drank his water.
Hindi na ako umalis sa upuan at sinagot na ang tawag ng kapatid.
"Hello?"
"Ateeee, when are you going to visit? I'm bored." he sighed on the other line.
He really is bored. Hindi naman to tatawag bigla at sa ganitong oras pa talaga.
I took a glance at Hunt. Nang makitang nakatingin siya sa akin ay kinagat ko na lamang ang aking labi at nag-iwas ng tingin. Damn. This is awkward.
"Bakit hindi ka pa natutulog?" I asked.
He sighed again. "Because I can't sleep."
"Why is that?"
"Because I'm bored."
Napahilot ako sa sentido ko. Tss.
"Yeah. So what do you want me to do? Where's your nanny?"
"Can you visit? We'll watch Endgame together, please. And also bring some snacks. Ate Maya is already sleeping. I don't want to wake her up."
I sighed. I can't resist him. Minsan lang din kami magkita ngayon, kaya pagbibigyan ko na.
"Fine. I'll hang up now. Bibisita ako diyan."
"Ok, I miss you." he said. I can imagine him pouting while saying it.
"Yeah," I answered, ending the call.
Hunt shifted in his seat when I looked at him.
"I think it's time to go home." I said.
Tumango siya at nag-iwan ng pera sa mesa. I also stood and went straight to the door.
He opened the door for me, kahit na may mayroon namang nakaatas ng guard doon. Nagkamot na lang sa ulo ang guard at tumango sa amin.
We were already in the parking lot when I turned to him. Nakasunod siya sa akin, kaya tumigil siya nang makitang lumingon ako.
"Hindi ako sa condo uuwi ngayon. My brother wants me to visit them."
Tumango siya at umatras. "Ok then. Take care. Susundan kita hanggang sa main highway."
Sumakay na ako sa motor at umalis. I saw in my side-view mirror that he was indeed following me.
Ayaw kong paasahin si Hunt. Hindi ako handa sa magiging kabayaran nitong kasiyahang nararamdaman ko ngayon. My life is hell, and I don't want to drag him to hell with me.
Kaya ano itong ginagawa ko? Bakit hinahayaan ko ang sarili kong mahulog sa kaniya, kahit na alam kong hindi ko kayang panindigan ang nararamdaman niya. Yes, he didn't talk about courting me. Pero saan pa ba patutungo itong ginagawa namin?
Sumakit ang ulo ko kaiisip. When we were about to part ways, binusinahan niya ako ng dalawang beses. I also did the same and drove my way to the mansion.
I dropped by a convenience store to buy the popcorn my brother was asking for.
Wala sa sarili akong pumasok sa mansiyon. Para akong lumulutang dahil kung saan-saan lumilipad ang isip ko.
"You're here."
Napaigtad ako at napalingon kay daddy. Mukhang kadarating niya lang mula trabaho. He's still wearing his suit. He was holding a glass of whiskey.
"Yeah. Khael called." sabay lapit at mano sa kaniya.
"If your brother won't call you, hindi ka pa bibisita." nagtatampong saad niya.
"Sorry. I was busy."
"You're always busy."
Bumuntong hininga na lang ako. "It's part of the work, Dad."
He smiled warmly and drank his whiskey. "Sorry, anak. I just miss you. Go to your brother now. Kanina pa naghihintay sa taas."
Tumango ako at dumiretso na sa taas.
I opened the door to my brother's room. His room is painted powder blue. Pagpasok mo ay mayroong king-size bed at may sofa rin sa gilid. Sa harap ng kama niya ay isang flatscreen na TV. May carpet din na nakalatag sa paanan ng kama. Sa isang sulok ay kabinet na puno ng kaniyang Avengers collections.
Bumukas ang pintuan sa kaniyang banyo at lumabas si Khael na naka pajama na. When he saw me, he immediately ran my way and gave me a hug.
"Ateeeee. I miss you!" he said at nanggigil akong hinagkan.
I chuckled and brushed his hair. "Miss you too."
Sinimangutan niya ako at kinuha ang supot na dala ko.
"Let's go. We'll watch Avengers Endgame. I woke Kuya Don to ready the cinema for us." he bubbly said as he pulled me out of his room and dragged me to the cinema room.
Yes, a cinema room. Dad built that because he doesn't want us to go to malls anymore if we want to watch movies. Masyadong delikado sa labas para sa amin. Reasons why we didn't go to public places when I was still young. I was homeschooled too. Gaya ni Khael ngayon. Our lives are too private and dangerous.
"Daddy! Let's go watch Avengers together, please."
My brother ran to our father, who was already walking upstairs. He chuckled when Khael pulled him with his right hand.
Hawak-hawak ko ang supot kung saan ang pagkain namin. Khael held my hand too. Pinagitnaan namin siya ni Daddy.
I couldn't help but smile as he pulled us away. I miss them.
"Daddy, open the door, po." Khael pleads.
He didn't let go of our hands, kaya natawa na lang si Daddy. "Ok son."
Naunang pumasok si daddy sa double doors. When we entered, the big screen was already on. It was placed on the right side. The chairs were arranged like they are in cinemas at malls. Parang may steps pa kung gusto mong bumaba para malapit sa screen. Though it's not that wide like sa malls, it's only enough to accommodate fifty people.
We chose the sit sa center lang. Not too close and not too far from the screen.
My brother couldn't hide his excitement as he sat on the chair. Pinabuksan niya na rin sa akin ang mga pagkain na binili ko.
The place is too big for us three. But that doesn't stop us from enjoying every single moment. This is our life. My life.
How I wish we could stay like this forever. Pero hindi pwedeng maghangad ng sobra-sobra. Dahil dobleng pasakit ang balik nito.
I focused on watching the movie. Khael always cheers when Iron Man appears on screen. Natatawa na lang kami ni Dad.
Hindi namin inalintana ang oras at sinulit na. We rarely bond together because of our busy schedules.
Nasa parte na kami ng movie kung saan sinakripisyo ni Natasha ang kaniyang buhay para sa bato. It was that scene where she sacrificed herself and fell from the cliff in order to get the stone.
I felt a pang of pain in my chest. I can somehow reflect on that part. Sacrificing yourself in order to make things easier and better. Hindi pwedeng walang kapalit ang hinahangad sa buhay. Everything has a payment. Wala ng libre sa panahong to. Lahat may kapalit... Kahit sarili mo pang kaligayahan.
Buong buhay ko, palagi kong inuuna ang kaligayahan ng iba kesa sa sariling kaligayahan ko. Why? I wanted to please everyone around me. I grew up not having enough attention from my parents. Reason why I seek it from others. Gusto ko paluguran sila dahil baka maging masaya sina Mommy at bigyan din ako ng atensyon. Palagi ako nagpapaubaya para pagbigyan ang kapatid ko. Pero hindi nila nakikita yon.
Well, that's reality. You cannot easily drive to the finish line without going through a rough ride. Every obstacle you face is a dedication for you to finish the game in order to stop the pain.
"Are you okay?" tanong ni Dad.
Katatapos lang ng pinapanood namin. My brother cried when Iron Man died at the end of the movie.
Nakatulugan niya na ang pag-iyak kaya ngayon, buhat-buhat na siya ni Daddy patungo sa kaniyang kwarto.
"Yup." I answered.
"Sure? You know you can always tell me if you have a problem."
I looked at him and smiled. "I'm sure, Dad. I'm just tired."
It took him a while to withdraw his gaze from me. Tila binabasa pa kung totoo ang sinasabi ko. When he was content, he continued walking to my brother's room.
I watched him as he put my brother on the bed. He tucked the comforter in and made sure to turn the lights off before he kissed Khael's forehead. He then turned to me.
"Pinahanda ko na ang kwarto mo," aniya sabay muwestra sa kabilang pinto kung saan ang aking silid.
Tumango ako. "Thanks, Dad."
He smiled at me; his eyes were a bit sleepy too. Sa tagal kong wala, hindi ko na napansin ang pagbabago sa kaniyang katawan at itsura. His wrinkles showed a little when he smiled, and he lost a bit of weight.
"You should rest now." I said to him.
"I will. Have a good sleep." He smiled and patted my head.
Matagal niya pa akong pinagmasdan bago tumalikod. I watched him leave.
I don't know what time I slept last night. I couldn't sleep thinking about my situation with Hunt.
Before I entered the agency, nakaukit na sa utak ko lahat ng gagawin ko. Hindi ko kailanman naisip na hahantong ako sa puntong may gugulo sa puso't isipan ko. Siya lang.
Wherever these will lead me, I can only promise one thing for myself. And that is to enjoy every moment I have in this lifetime. I can't predict when this happiness will end. So as long as I can still be happy, I'll make it last longer. Minsan lang to, susulitin ko na. Whatever comes, I'd gladly accept it. If it fails, then at least I can learn from it.