Omniscient
[ sat, nov 11th 2:18 PM ]
Vertex Condos
The space next to her in bed moved, waking Zolina up from the deep slumber that she was in. She knew that she was facing the window, due to the brightness she could see and feel through her eyelids.
She slowly blinked her eyes open and let out a small yawn, awakening her senses from her peaceful sleep.
Little did she know, her dreams might have been the safest place for her mind right now.
Not being able to feel Ace's touch, Zolina pouted and turned around, rolling right into him.
"Hey." She said groggily, snuggling closer to him and his body heat.
"Hi, Ma." He wrapped an arm around her. "Sleep aight?"
Zolina nodded, the scent of his body wash and cologne filling her nose. When she opened her eyes again, she realized that he was fully clothed with a few chains around his neck, and a watch on his wrist.
"You left?" She put a hand under his shirt and rubbed his chest.
He hummed in response.
"Wow, I was really out of it." She chuckled. "What time is it?"
"Two sum'n."
Zolina frowned at the short responses that he was giving her, lifting her head to look at him. When she caught Ace's gaze, she witnessed something that she hadn't seen in a long time.
An unreadable expression.
Dark brown eyes; hardened by something swirling around in his mind, stared back at her.
She gently touched his face, "What's wrong?"
Ace broke the eye contact, "I gotta talk to you 'bout sum'n."
"Okay..." She sat up and wrapped his sheets around her body, waiting for him to continue.
"I'on really know how to say this shit, so just—" He ran a hand down his face. "Just bare with me, aight?"
Zolina's stomach tightened, "What's going on?"
"You trust me, right?"
His intensity was making her nervous. Her heart started to pound so heavily in her chest, that she could feel it in her ears.
"Of course I trust you." She said immediately. "Why?"
Ace scratched the back of his neck. He let more silence fill up the room like hot air, which made a cold sweat prickle on her skin.
"Grayson—"
"Grant called me earlier."
"About the art?" Zolina asked worriedly, afraid that Grant didn't like the options that she had laid out. "Did he get what he needed for Soraya?"
Ace shook his head.
"Why not?" She took his tattooed hand in hers, feeling the callouses that had formed from gripping glocks.
On the drive home from the bar, Ace tried to think of the many different ways that he could explain to Zolina what he had learned only a couple of hours ago.
But there really was no way to make the news sound any less shocking, so he decided to just spit it out.
"What happened?" Zolina asked, confused. "Is everything okay?"
"Nyx hit me up after Grant did." Ace delicately pulled Zolina into his lap, taking the blanket that was wrapped around her body, too. "He saw that nigga that keep coming to yo' gallery— the one I had a problem with?"
"Wh— Orion?" Zolina raised her eyebrows suspiciously. "Oh, no. What did you guys do to him?"
If it weren't for the seriousness of the situation, Ace might have laughed at her question.
"Nothing." Ace caressed her bare waist as she looked at him. "I promise. Just lemme get this out, aight?"
Zolina nodded and put her hands on Ace's shoulders, massaging away at the tension that she felt building in them.
"His full name is Zorion." Ace paused, watching the small knot that formed between Zolina's eyebrows.
That slight crinkle in her expression, wasn't a true reflection of the wave of uneasiness that had just crashed into her.
Because why was Zorion's name giving her a weird sense of déjà vu if she had never heard it before? If she didn't know him prior to the first time he walked into her gallery a little over a week ago?
"And he..." Ace trailed off.
"He what?" She whispered, her body rigid.
For Ace, this moment sounded like a repeat of his phone conversation with Phoenyx this morning. He drew Zolina into a full on embrace, cradling the back of her head and hoping that their closeness would soften the blow of his words to come.
"He said he's yo' brother, Lina."
Zolina remained expressionless as she listened to Ace tentatively go through the details of his meet up at 8-Ball this afternoon.
She almost thought that he was playing some type of sick joke on her, and was waiting for someone to pop out with a camera.
"All I really know is that the nigga 30. He ain't wanna tell us anything else." Ace looked at her face. "He only wants to talk to you—"
"No." Zolina broke her silence and climbed off of Ace's lap. "That... No. That doesn't even make sense. It can't be true."
"I said the same shit at first, Mama." Ace tried to close the distance that she had now created between them on his bed. "But why can't it be?"
"Because!" She frantically ripped the sheets off of her body and got up. "Because, I—"
He watched her pace around his room with her hands on her forehead, mumbling to herself. Taking the hair tie off of her wrist, she put her braids into a ponytail, then took it down, then put it back up again.
"There's no record of me even having a brother. And if there were, Amelia would have told me." Zolina played with her fingers, mentioning her social worker. "Amelia definitely would have told me. Right?
"Zolina..." Ace called out softly.
"I mean, if he knows me... Then he has to know I was in the system, right?" She asked rhetorically. "So does that mean he wasn't in the system? Did they... Did my parents want him and not me?"
The possibilities that were rippling through her subconscious, also brought back all of the negative memories from her years spent in foster care.
The families that showed obvious distaste for her, or barely acknowledged her at all. The ones that made it clear that she was only around because with her, came a fresh government check every month.
Her abandonment issues and separation anxiety sharply flooded her body with a forceful pain, and started to erode away at her healing heart like she had just been doused in acid.
"Baby. C'mere." Ace begged. "Please?"
"What if he's wrong?" Zolina finally looked over at him as her voice cracked. "What if he's not?"
Tears fell down her face and Ace winced at the sight; it hurt him so much that he had to look away.
He soon got up and made his way over to where she was rooted, lifting her into his arms. She wrapped her legs tight around him and quietly cried into his neck as he walked back to the bed.
He laid down and pulled the covers over them, Zolina still clinging to his body.
"I'm sorry." She blubbered.
"Stop." He kissed the top of her head and held her tighter. "Don't ever apologize for bein' soft with me. I got you."
Zolina couldn't calm her thoughts down enough to speak again, so she didn't. And although he wasn't the direct source of her pain, Ace felt like his words had caused enough damage.
So he stayed quiet, too.
XXX
Zolina 'Zo' Smith
[ tues, nov 14th 1:28 PM ]
Vertex Condos
For the next few days, Zolina had become a hermit inside of her boyfriend's condo.
She was avoiding everything; from her friends to her therapist, and even her art. She hadn't created any new artwork, nor had she been down to her gallery.
Though Zorion assured to stop showing his face until she personally reached out to him, Zolina couldn't stand the thought of how one of her safe spaces had been violated. Tainted with the griefs of her past.
Thankfully, her assistant was more than capable to handle the duties in her absence.
After standing under the hot water for what felt like hours, Zolina turned the faucets off. She stepped out and wrapped a thick towel around her body, wiping her face free of the wetness that sadly didn't come from the shower.
Using her hand to clean the steam from the mirror, Ace's reflection became clear; standing in the doorway of the bathroom behind her.
He slowly approached with his arms open, and she stood on the tips of her toes so that she could accept the much needed hug.
She smiled weakly, feeling the hairs on his cheek tickle her skin as he kissed from her ear to her collarbone. When Ace pulled away and held her jaw, Zolina watched as his worried eyes scanned the surface of her face.
"You been crying, Mama?" His thumbs grazed the tiny bags that had formed under her eyes. "Hm?"
She shook her head no, watching him stare at her even harder.
"Maybe." She murmured, looking down when she heard him sigh. "A little."
"What you need?" He lifted her head back up. "Tell me."
"Nothing." She took his hands that were still holding her face, and intertwined their fingers. "You've done a lot already."
Ace was there for her when she broke down or wanted to vent her frustrations, and he never took it personal when she didn't feel like talking at all. He held her through the nights that she couldn't fall asleep, and made sure that she was still eating at least twice a day.
Those were all routine gestures for him, but Zolina appreciated them now more than ever.
"This is just something I gotta handle myself, y'know?" She told him.
He let out a disgruntled groan and rested his forehead against hers.
"I hate when you upset and I can't fix it." He looked down into her eyes. "Shit drives me crazy."
Her heart softened, and she couldn't help pressing her lips against his. She felt him grip her waist before he lifted her with ease onto the counter top, running his hands under the towel so that he could massage her thighs.
The kisses were slow; migrating from her lips down to her chest, while his fingers inched closer to where she wanted them to be.
Zolina unwrapped her towel and leaned back against the mirror, making room for her legs to spread so that Ace could stand between them. He moved forward, pressing her naked body against the cool, hard glass, his lips grazing her skin...
*Buzz*
"Fuck." She half-moaned, half-sighed, looking down to read the texts popping up on her phone screen. "The girls are here."
Without a complaint, Ace kissed her lips once more before stepping back and securing the towel around her body again.
Trinity and Miracle weren't invasive. They understood that everyone needed some time to their self. But Zolina knew that if she stayed hidden away long enough, they would eventually come knocking to conduct a welfare check.
And the last thing that she wanted, was to leave her sisters in the dark about the current state of her life.
Zolina opened the group chat so that she could invite the twins up, while Ace reached behind her to grab his Caviar Tourbillion Camo Blue watch from the leather, jewelry box that he had perched on the sink.
"Imma be at the restaurant with Moms and Luc." He informed, casually hooking a blue Van Cleef bracelet onto her own wrist. "Call me if you need sum'n and I'll come right back to you. Aight?"
She responded by nodding, causing him to grip her chin firmly.
"Lemme hear you, Z."
"Okayyy." She dragged out, smiling. "I will. I love you."
He smiled back and kissed both of her dimples, "I love you, more, Lil' Baby."
Ace gave her a sexy wink before he exited the bathroom. She started to moisturize her body, listening to his heavy steps move through his bedroom and eventually down the stairs.
As she slipped into an extra large Spice Girls t-shirt and took her braids down from their bun, the voices of Trinity and Miracle echoed up to her from the lower level.
"Hey, Ace." She heard them both say.
"Wussup. Y'all straight?" Ace asked them. "Where my godsons at?"
"With their father." Trinity laughed. "Where's our Zo at?"
"She'll be down in a min'. Take care of her for me?" He told them, his keys clinking together. "Lemme know if y'all need anything."
"Will do!" They said together.
When Zolina came down, she and the twins embraced with their usual hugs, smiles and a few inside jokes. She then busied herself in Ace's kitchen; deciding that now would be the best time to test out the spinach frittata and french toast recipes that Estelle had taught her.
She crowded the glass top coffee table in the living room with different dishes and drinks, knowing that all of the eating would leave little room for the conversation that she was subconsciously avoiding.
Just as she got up to refill their mimosas, a hand gripped her arm.
"Okay, that's enough." Trinity pulled Zolina back down on the couch beside her.
"Enough of what?" Zolina asked.
"Filling us with food." Miracle put her fork down and patted her stomach. "Waiting on us hand and foot."
"Are you gonna tell us what's wrong?" Trinity asked.
"What do you mean?" Zolina lifted her legs to her chest and pulled her shirt over her knees, making herself small.
"You've barely said anything since we got here." Miracle gently pointed out, observing her friend's body language. "You skipped out on our group lunch this week."
Trinity reached over and tucked Zolina's braids behind her ear, "And it's no pressure, but you usually don't miss your visit with Damani and Dez."
Zolina raised and dropped her shoulders, "I've just been busy at the gallery."
"You wanna try again?" Miracle dared her.
"Because we know you haven't been there, either." Trinity said. "What's going on, Zo? Is everything okay?"
"Even Ace's mood is down." Miracle pointed out, getting up from the one seater across the room. "And we all know that nigga's emotions are tied to yours."
"Exactly." Trinity agreed. "Did something happen with y'all?"
Miracle plopped down on the Persian rug in front of her, "It's fine if you don't wanna talk to us about it, but—"
"I think I found my brother." Zolina blurted out, tired of hearing the twins on a tangent.
"What?!" Trinity and Miracle ended up exclaiming at the same time.
"Well, he found me." Zolina said, her tone almost nonchalant.
"Hold on. Hold. On." Miracle threw her hands in the air, shocked from the announcement. "I'm sorry, what? Like, your biological brother?"
Zolina put her head in Trinity's lap, looking up at the condo's high ceiling as she took her time revealing all of the details about Zorion to her sisters.
It felt surreal to talk about it again; like the story that she was telling them wasn't about her own life.
"Holy shit, Zo." Trinity whispered once she was done.
"Are you okay?" Miracle asked, before immediately rolling her eyes at her own question. "Obviously not, Miracle."
"I'm..." Zolina sighed. "I don't know? My emotions are everywhere and I don't know how to deal with it. Or sort through it."
"Have you talked to Dr. Miller about this?" Trinity wondered, mentioning her therapist.
"No. I've kinda been dodging therapy." Zolina admitted. "I don't wanna feel like I'm moving backwards."
"I can understand that." Trinity sympathized. "But I don't think therapy is supposed to be a linear thing, Zo."
"I know, I just— Ugh." Zolina grumbled, sitting upright again. "Why can't things ever just be calm for me? Simple? Normal. I worked so fucking hard to close that chapter of my life, I don't wanna just open it up again."
Trinity put an arm around her, "I know. I get it. But with it possibly being your brother this time instead of your mom... Maybe this is an entirely different book?"
It was more than just a different book, it was Pandora's box. And Zolina was scared to open it. Scared to release an entirely new set of uncertainties into her life.
"You said you were done searching. That whatever was meant for you, would find you, right?" Miracle asked.
Zolina nodded weakly, "Right."
Trinity grabbed her hand, "Well, what if it has?"
👻
- Ace tells Zo about Zorion
- should she try connecting with her brother?
- thoughts?
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