⋐⋑⋐⋑⋐⋑❉⋐⋑⋐⋑⋐⋑
I couldn't bring myself to talk to him about my dreams... Or my last life's memories. I am not sure if everything is just a lucid dream or not but I must be crazy imaginative about everything that it feels real... Like the feelings are real. Everything feels so tangible as if the emotions are genuine and not just figments of my imagination.
Seated beneath the familiar Balete tree, engrossed in my usual readings, Theo persists in his typical, bothersome demeanor. He's been pestering me all day, sensing the unease caused by the dreams that I can't share with him. He can't stand being left curious.
However, amidst the annoyance, I can't help but notice Theo's singing. Having abandoned his questioning, he now serenades the air with a voice that possesses a unique fusion of smooth and deep tones, wrapping around me like a musical embrace. His voice is akin to a warm hug, and it momentarily distracts me from the perplexities of my thoughts.
So I'll tell you
A million tiny things that
You have never known
It all gets tangled up inside
"What are you singing?" I inquire, watching his curls bounce as he glances up at me. The top of his head leaning towards my thighs has been his favorite position lately whenever he joins me under the Balete tree. I have used to him being clingy since I noticed that he is clingy with everyone.
A smile graces his face as he busies himself with fallen leaves. "You like it? I made it up just now," he claims.
My right brow arched, I'm not sure if I believe him but I am not curious enough to ask further. His tendency to daydream and concoct stories is something I've grown accustomed to, finding it fascinating most times but not always taking it seriously.
"Theo!" Both of us turned our heads towards Jennie who was running towards us.
At that moment, another vision overwhelms my senses. Geneva, with her elegant demeanor clad in Barong and Saya clothing, her black hair billowing as she races towards us. Theo donned his Barong Tagalog, moved towards her, and they embraced. It's a different memory, yet I find myself still seated beneath the Balete tree, wrestling with the dichotomy of reality and past life. I pinch myself just to double check but I am still in the same place but in a different memory.
Jennie's presence brings me back to the present. She attempts to coax Theo, who seems determined to be lazy, into standing up. "You used to love to help my brother fly his kites! He needs you. Are you really gonna bail on him? You know I do not know shit about that," she exclaims, the cacophony of her voice mingling with the natural silence of the surroundings.
"Just go Theo, a kid needs you," I gave my two cents since they are, well Jennie is, shouting like she is having a duet with the chirping of the birds while everything is nature silent.
Theo finally relents, giving in to Jennie's persistence. "Fine, fine! I'll help fly the kites, but only because it's you, little missy," he says, ruffling Jennie's hair affectionately. I couldn't help but look away and just pretend that I was back to my reading.
Jennie grins triumphantly and releases him, allowing him to stand up. "You're the best, Theo! Come on, we need to hurry before the wind dies down and disappoints Joe," she urges, already leading the way toward the open field where they plan to fly kites.
As they leave, I'm left alone under the Balete tree with my thoughts, trying to make sense of the glimpses into another life. Theo's earlier singing still echoes in my mind, and I can't shake off the feeling that there's more to these dreams than mere imagination. His voice captures something in me like I have heard his voice all of my life... It made me comfortable and made me feel safe. Like I knew his voice at the back of my hand.
It's impossible! Elena and Ramuel are not in love. It was just Elena who loved him. How can Elena feel all of those feelings when all Ramuel did was hurt her? Did Ramuel show her his feelings for more than friends?
Lost in contemplation, I'm startled when Theo suddenly reappears, now holding a colorful kite in his hand. "You sure you don't want to join, Lily? It's gonna be fun!" he calls out, excitement evident in his eyes.
I shake my head, offering a small smile. "Maybe next time, Theo. I need some time alone."
He nods understandingly and runs off to catch up with Jennie. As I watch them disappear into the distance, my mind continues to wander. The words of his improvised song linger in the air, and I can't help but wonder if there's a connection between the dreams, the memories, and the melodies he weaves.
The sun begins its descent, casting a warm golden hue over the landscape. I decide to take a stroll, hoping that the peaceful surroundings will bring some clarity. As I wander through the familiar paths, the memories replay in my mind like scenes from a movie.
Lost in thought, I'm interrupted by Theo's voice again. He's returning, now with a triumphant smile, the kite soaring high above him. "You missed out, Lily! It's incredible up there!"
I laugh, genuinely enjoying the happiness on his face. "Maybe next time, Theo. But I'm glad you had fun."
He plops down next to me, looking up at the sky. "You know, sometimes it's good to let go and enjoy the moment. You're here now with us. I hope you open your heart to others too like how you gave me a chance to be your friend. I'm sure they would love you if you give them a chance."
His words linger in the air as the sun dips below the horizon, casting long shadows. The mysteries of my dreams, the echoes of a past life, and the melodies of Theo's singing intertwine, leaving me with more questions than answers.
****
The next day, Theo made sure that I wouldn't back out for the bonfire party. Their circle of friends does enjoy a lot of bonfire parties. Theo said that it's all about the stories, music, and the beach. Those things are enjoyable when every one of you is already close friends. Me being there would be so awkward for me and everyone.
A playful knock, whose rhythm I could distinguish even before the sound reverberated through the door, disrupted my contemplation on the questionable decision to immerse myself in the realm of his friends. In that moment, the reasons I'd convinced myself to forge connections with them flashed in my mind: a futile pursuit to find my own circle, oblivious to the reality that they might not extend the same courtesy, especially Jennie. And then there was the undeniable fact that they were a gathering of extroverts, a breed far removed from my introverted, book-loving haven, where the passing of days and weeks without contact is met with an understanding nod.
"Lily!"
My breath hitched as the resonance of my name echoed through the room. The door opened, announcing his arrival, the harbinger of vibrant energy that stood in stark contrast to the solitude I cherished. Pretending to be ensconced in the arms of sleep, I felt the palpable weight of his presence, a boisterous symphony against the backdrop of my hushed sanctuary.
Ignoring my silent plea for a few more moments of solitude, he sang my name, the familiarity of his voice cutting through the quiet like a jarring note. His body seemed to collapse onto my sheets with an exuberance that bordered on recklessness. The pounding of my heart became increasingly audible, inexplicably heightened by a sudden wave of trepidation.
"Lily! Wake up. We don't want to be late!"
His hand found its place on my right shoulder, and an insistent shake jolted my entire frame. Still clinging to the remnants of feigned slumber, I stubbornly kept my eyes closed. But his actions grew bolder, an almost tactile insistence that invaded my personal space. A subtle shift in weight signaled his encroachment, and my eyes snapped open when I sensed the proximity becoming too intimate. His face is an inch away from mine!
"Good morning!" His cheerful greeting, delivered with unwarranted proximity, hung in the air, and my unease crystallized in that moment, leaving me to grapple with the unexpected tension that lingered between us.
My eyes widened, caught in a moment that felt too close for comfort. The morning sunlight filtering through the curtains framed his features, casting a glow that emphasized the boyish charm in his smile. His closeness became palpable, and I couldn't help but be acutely aware of the warmth radiating from his body, creating an unsettling contrast to the cool detachment I usually maintained.
"Morning," I managed to mumble, a feeble response to his infectious enthusiasm. Swiftly, I pushed myself into a sitting position, creating a modest but necessary distance between us. The sudden change in perspective allowed me to regain a semblance of composure.
"What's with the early wake-up call?" I inquired, attempting to divert attention from the lingering awkwardness. His eyes sparkled with an energy that seemed contagious, a stark contrast to the remnants of the dream that clung to the recesses of my thoughts.
"We need to get ready! You cannot be forgetting about our plans today with the guys. Bonfire, remember?" he explained, genuine excitement animating his features. Now, looking at him, he do seem to like me there with his friends. I know a part of me wants to go just because he insist and he has his genuine intentions.
"Sure, but isn't it to early for a bonfire? It's still 9 AM," I replied, acquiescing with a confused face Despite my initial reservations, the allure of exploration and a temporary escape from introspective musings seemed enticing. I would love to get to know Bora La Costa more, I will just forget that I am stuck with these people and focus on the place.
"It's beside the beach! We will go swimming and start the bonfire when the sun goes down!"
***
A warm, confident smile accompanied JB's introduction, his hand extended in a gesture of amicable greeting. "Nice to meet you, Lily. My name is JB, Justin Beau, but they call me JB."
I accepted his hand and points at the bags he is carrying, that I'm sure not his—at least most of them. It is probably from Jennie and the other girl in their group, "Need help?" I offered since I only got one black handbag from Gentlewoman.
JB waved off the offer with a casual sweep of his hand, "I should be the one asking you that question," he offered as well. I appreciate his chill and friendly approach. He's not too much like how I imagined their group to be.
"Ethan, you're late again!" the other girl of their group called out the guy running towards the casa. While running, he pulls out his middle finger to the girl as his reply and the girl who called him out did the same.
My gaze inadvertently found Jennie's, and to my surprise, she didn't avert her eyes when caught in the act. Time had softened the edges of our initial encounter, evolving into a silent understanding. Nowadays, she'd occasionally drop by to hang out with Theo, and we'd coexist in companionable detachment. I couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude that our paths, once strewn with conflict, had found a more harmonious connection. I guess, I am just thankful that she is not a war-freak based on how we both met.
Speaking of Theo, where the fuck is he?
"Oh, she's coming? Hi," Ethan noticed once he is already inside the premises. He fixed his hair as he is walking towards where I am and extended his hand, "The name's Ethan, guaranteed you'll enjoy the bonfire. May I know yours?"
Now he is an extrovert that I want to avoid. Despite my uneasiness that I'm sure I made sure is not transparent on my face, "The name's Lily," I said and gave him a short smile to be polite as I accepted the handshake.
As soon as my fingers made contact with his hand, a vivid memory surged through my mind like an unexpected tide. It was Ethan, draped in a barong tagalog, standing gallantly in front of Casa de Hermosa, a bouquet of roses cradled in his hands. From the balcony, I watched the scene unfold, his lips moving in an attempt to convey something, yet the words remained inaudible. The surreal moment took an unexpected turn as he gracefully dropped to one knee, leaving me bewildered and searching for comprehension.
In the blink of an eye, another fragment of memory materialized, the same figure of Ethan. This time, he stood before me, tears streaming down his face. He clutched my hand with a desperation that bordered on anguish. The scene intensified as he sank to both knees, the grip on my hand unwavering.
The memory painted a poignant picture, a tableau of heartbreak, yet strangely, I remained untouched by the emotional weight. Was it because Elena, in her own time, had not reciprocated this man's love? The disconnection between the poignant scenes and my own emotional response left me grappling with an enigmatic sense of detachment.
I could sense that Ethan felt something as well and he immediately dropped my hand right after.
⋐⋑⋐⋑⋐⋑❉⋐⋑⋐⋑⋐⋑