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Saffire looked down at the coffee sitting on the table before her, she hadn't touched it since it had been placed there. It was cold now. No one had said a single word since Rhys insisted on sitting at the dining room table for more comfort than his cramped office. Saffire didn't attempt to explain herself, she knew that her efforts would be futile as everyone was silently processing everything.
The gaze fixated on her cup lifted the smallest amount to scan the faces of the people she used to call family– with three new faces thrown in. Two-hundred years had seemed to be all it had taken for Saffire to forget specific details about her family. There was a small scar slicing through Cassian's eyebrow that Saffire wasn't sure whether he had it when she was still around or not. That glimmer in Rhys's eyes that seemed to suggest a certain love that Saffire did not recognise. The specific features of Mor's face that she loved to put makeup on when they were younger. Saffire even forgot how much she towered over Amren– somehow she remembered her to be a similar height. Seeing her now made Saffire realise how much she had really forgotten over the past two centuries.
Then there was the matter of Azriel. Despite the rest of her former family and the small details she had forgotten about them– Saffire hadn't forgotten anything about Azriel. From the colour of his dark hair that seemed brown in direct sunlight to the unique blend of colours in his eyes that made up his hazel. He hadn't spoken yet but Saffire could still hear his voice clearly in her mind, soft spoken yet still had a small edge to it. Saffire hadn't forgotten anything about him.
"So," Rhys spoke up after a long and painful silence. "This is certainly a surprise."
Saffire nodded. "I am here on official business."
"I gathered that," Rhys replied. "Your Queen had been corresponding with me for several months."
"She is aiming to build alliances," Saffire replied. "Vassuryn is a very small kingdom and not very well known. It is vulnerable to attack so Queen Selvina has been gathering allies from all over the continent. This is the first time she has reached out beyond."
Cassian finally raised his gaze to meet Saffire's, his eyebrows drawn down in a frown. "I don't give a shit about alliances. What I want to know is why you left two-hundred years ago."
"Cass–" Rhys tried to intervene.
"No," Cassian shook his head. "It's been two hundred years, Rhys! Surely now it is time for an explanation as to why she has been gone." Cassian's burning gaze fixated on Saffire. "You left in the middle of the night with no word, no note, nothing. We searched for you for years. Azriel searched even longer."
Saffire glanced Azriel's way but he was staring at the table in front of him, as if he were fascinated by the woodwork.
The female next to Cassian reached out and touched his arm and he instantly began to calm. The furious expression that had gradually melted onto his features disappeared within an instant– only to be replaced by sadness.
"Saffire, we didn't know if you were alive or dead," Cassian admitted. "You were our family. Losing you was hard for all of us."
The broken look on Cassian's face made Saffire's heart drop. She never knew her disappearance had affected her family that much. Mor hastily wiped away a tear and Amren's silver eyes bore into hers, though deep down through all of the guards she had up, she could tell that Amren cared.
"I am sorry," Saffire whispered. "I hadn't realised my disappearance had affected you all so greatly–"
"Please stop being so formal," Cassian pleaded. "We are your family."
"We haven't been her family for a long time," Azriel's soft voice cut through the air.
Saffire's head snapped in his direction. His gaze had finally lifted and the only emotion Saffire noticed within them was betrayal. Her eyes stung with tears.
The female next to Rhys, her arms tattooed with swirls up to her elbows, cleared her throat. "Any arguments that might happen will end here." She turned to Saffire with a small gentle smile. "Saffire is a guest here and I won't tolerate arguments from someone trying to do their job, no matter your history."
Saffire gave the female a grateful nod as she took a deep breath. All pairs of eyes felt like daggers in her heart. "I understand that all of you must despise me for what I did, but you must understand that I haven't come here for myself, I am here under my Queen's orders. All I am trying to do is a job for her, don't let any hostile attitude towards me affect what she is aiming to do."
The room was silent, the only exception was Mor placing her wine glass down on the table. Saffire's heartbeat increased and her body felt hot. If Floris had been with her, everything would have been okay, she would have had someone to lean on. But now she was alone in a house where everyone hated her.
"Will you answer one personal question for us, Saffire?" Rhys asked.
Saffire met his gaze. "Only one."
"Why did you leave?"
That was the one question Saffire had prepared for on her journey to the Night Court. As she answered, her voice was almost robotic from how she had rehearsed it over and over again.
"I was a danger to all of you and the whole of Velaris," said Saffire. "I needed to get away before I hurt any of you."
"A danger?" Rhys asked. "How were you a danger?"
"She has powers," A quiet voice spoke from the end of the table.
Saffire tore her gaze away from Rhys's and landed on the third female she hadn't recognised. She looked startled like she hadn't meant to let anything slip.
"What do you mean, Elain?" Rhys questioned.
The female– Elain, gazed at Saffire, an apologetic expression on her face. Elain opened her mouth to respond but Saffire beat her to it.
"She is correct," Saffire replied, once again looking down at the table. "I have powers."
Cassian chuckled humorously. "We would have known if you had powers."
Saffire shook her head. "You wouldn't have. Because I didn't even know until days before I left."
Saffire stood up from her seat and stood at the head of the table. As she brought her left hand up in front of her, the surges of power wrapped around her arm and around her body in thin blue thread. The former family watched in astonishment– all except Azriel, whole face remained neutral.
"When I left, I couldn't control it," Saffire began. "I could feel it bubbling inside of me and it was only a matter of time before it burst. I didn't want any of you to get hurt in the process so the safest thing I could do was leave."
"We could have helped you, Saffire," Rhys said, with an attempt to keep his voice calm but the sadness in his eyes betrayed him. "Why didn't you come to us?"
"It was all too much," Saffire said. "I could feel a surge of power threatening to release and I knew that it would be fatal to anyone within my vicinity. When I left, I never expected to survive it until it happened– that burst of power. It didn't kill me but I felt weak, I could barely move, but I knew that power surge would happen again. It happened three more times until I reached Vassuryn and Queen Selvina took me in. She helped me control my power and master it. I owe my life to her."
The room was silent once more as Saffire let her power fade away. "I never came back because I expected to die."
"Why didn't you come back after?" Mor asked, speaking up for the first time. "We would have all understood."
"I owed Queen Selvina my life for helping me control my powers," Saffire replied. "I began working as Prince Floris's guard at the palace. I made a home for myself there."
"And abandon the one you had here," Azriel said, his words cutting Saffire like a knife.
Saffire tried not to let his words affect her, but as she toyed with the hem of her sleeve, it was evident to everyone that his words had cut her deep. Rhys was the first to speak up. "Saffire, for the next few weeks, we will be happy to host you while you tell us about Vassuryn."
Azriel's gaze shot to Rhys, his eyes narrowed at his brother. Rhys simply ignored him. "We can meet tomorrow to go through anything Queen Selvina needs to discuss." Saffire nodded as everyone began to stand from the table. "Elain will show you to your room."
Saffire's gaze met Elain's and she offered her a small smile, Saffire tried to return it but failed once she noticed that Azriel hadn't even risen from his chair.
"I will meet you in the hall, Saffire," Elain said before swiftly exiting the room.
For the first time in two centuries, Saffire was left alone with Azriel. And for the first time ever, she had no idea what to say to him. As Saffire opened her mouth, Azriel looked up at her.
"If you are going to apologise, don't," Azriel snapped. "I don't want to hear it."
"I am not going to apologise for leaving," Saffire said. "I did the right thing."
Azriel scoffed. "You did the right thing by leaving your family? By leaving me?" By the time the second question left his mouth, Azriel's voice was barely a whisper. "I searched for you for fifty years, long after everyone else gave up. I still held onto hope that you were out there."
Saffire closed her eyes as Azriel rose from his seat, stepping closer to her. His familiar scent, the scent that used to relax her, now made her tense.
"But you were out there, weren't you?" Azriel's voice was low and void of any emotion. "You were happy in a palace while all of us were driven mad thinking you died. Tell me, did you ever think about us in those two hundred years? Did you ever want to come back?"
"Of course I thought of you all," Saffire said, her eyes meeting Azriel's. "I missed you all so much."
"But not enough for you to come back or even send word that you were okay," Azriel hissed.
Saffire swallowed, her words dying on her tongue. Of course she had wanted to come back. Her found family were the only people in her life she truly cared about– the ones she truly loved. But she couldn't. Not when she was such a danger to all of them and to the city of Velaris.
"I did think of you, Saffire," Azriel continued. "I thought about you every single night after Rhys told me you left. You left me while I was in the middle of recovering from a mission, you promised you would help me train the next day to build my strength back and you were gone. Do you have any idea how I felt when Rhys told me you were gone?"
"I am sorry, Az," Saffire said, a tear finally falling down her cheek.
"Don't apologise to me," he snapped. He took one step forward, before bending slightly so his mouth was next to her ear. "Don't even try to talk to me when you are here. I don't care what you have to say to me. I don't care about you– not anymore."
Azriel stepped back and turned his back on her without another word, leaving Saffire watching him leave. Saffire felt her heart shatter as the door slammed. She anticipated this reaction but as she lived it, she never could have imagined that Azriel's voice could be so cold to her. Ever since she had met Azriel, the two had always been close. He had been her best friend for as long as she could remember. His voice was always full of warmth when he spoke with her now she was afraid it would never return– and it probably wouldn't.
Saffire's feet moved on their own accord until she exited the room to find Elain waiting in the hall. "Are you okay?" she asked.
Azriel's scent lingered in the hall and she sighed. "I am. I am ready for this task to be over so I can return to Vassuryn."
"Everything won't stay this hostile forever," Elain said as she led Saffire to her room.
"I doubt that," Saffire replied. "Azriel hates me. I'm sure Cassian does too. Mor and Amren are harder to read but they will most likely not want anything to do with me. Rhys is only playing nice because I am here on official business. If I were here for any other reason, he would banish me as soon as he got the chance."
They paused outside the room Saffire would be staying in. Elain turned to her. "They don't hate you, everyone is simply emotional."
"How would you know?" Saffire questioned. "You don't know anything about the situation between us."
Elain offered her a small smile. "I know more than you think. And from what I know, not everything will remain like this. Things will get better."
Saffire studied her for a moment. "I'm not sure I completely believe you, but I hope so. The less hostility, the easier my job and the sooner I can return home."
"If you chose to remain," Elain said, her voice distant. "You will find that you will soon have a very difficult choice to make."
Saffire furrowed her eyebrows. "What?"
Elain seemed to snap out of a daze before smiling at Saffire. "Don't worry, just something I read earlier."
Saffire wasn't too convinced but placed her hand on the door handle. "Thank you for walking me to my room, Elain."
Elain nodded and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "It was no problem. I hope you get some rest, Saffire."
"Thank you," said Saffire, thankful that at least one person was not hostile towards her in the house.
Elain bid Saffire goodbye before leaving down the corridor. Saffire pushed open the door and stepped inside. The bags she had packed were sitting by the bed but that was not the first thing Saffire noticed. The first thing she noticed was the familiarity of the bedroom. The sage green walls and the ornate furniture. The bedside cabinet held a mirror gifted to her for her three-hundredth birthday. The wardrobe in the corner was still missing one leg and was held up with a pile of books.
It was her room.
Nothing had been moved since the day she left, the only thing that had changed was the bed covers. Everything else remained the same. After two-hundred years, Saffire thought that her former family would have forgotten about her, but from the looks of her former bedroom, it was clear they hadn't.
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