[KULANI]
I’m back here. I am on the very same rock I woke up on after being spat out by this same river a while ago. The old me would be looking over her shoulder right now, with the most defined goosebumps and nausea-inducing knots in her stomach but after all I’ve been through, it’s understandable how I can sit here and not even turn when I hear a shuffle in the trees at five in the morning. The stories of this place are horrifying. From kids disappearing after attempting to take innocent swims here, to grown men being found dead with their intestines gone – feasted on by what nobody can describe for sure.
I see her; the owner of these waters, as the people like to call her. I am watching her swim away from me, watching her tail disappear. I never even asked for the permission to be here but she’s okay with my presence, I think. Otherwise I’d have long seen the flames of her chagrin. Sometimes she’s black, sometimes a rainbow. She doesn’t only play with colours, she’s a shapeshifter of note as well.
I sit here with a bleeding heart and a broken spirit. This is the only place I thought of when I started feeling like I’m losing the essence of me; like I’m losing myself.
She’s coming back. It’s official; I’ve outgrown that timid Kulani. She wouldn’t have sat here unfazed while the biggest snake she’s ever seen approaches her. Don’t get me wrong, I still respect and revere this beast a lot. It just no longer feels like an unfamiliar, extra-personal being. It feels like a part of me, somehow, hence I even have my feet in the vastness of this dark water while she moves about freely – in her turf. She’s the reason why people fear this place. With me, she’s the only reason why it feels safe. I am home, even though there’s zero communication from her or anybody else. It’s silent – in and around me. I asked for peace and they gave it to me, lead me to it…
‘My namesake. Ndauwe…’ I hear a voice before the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen sits beside me. I look at her and she continues smiling; as if pleased about something.
Kurhula’s great grand-mother.
‘Mandilakhe?’ I ask. I have never met or seen her before. She couldn’t come to me; her sins barred her from me. I thought Aunty Lydia was gorgeous but she has nothing on this woman. Her youthful beauty still shines beyond those wrinkles.
‘The gates are open. I’m clean and I have you to thank’
I don’t know what to say.
‘Fanisa has voluntarily set all the people she had captured in her house free. Sol is powerless at this point. All the dirt I came in dragging has been swept out of the royal house, by you’
She’s barefoot as well.
‘Before you ask me all the judgemental questions you have, please understand that I did not have a choice’
I am still quiet, giving her the opportunity to explain herself. For the hell I’ve been through because of her, she owes me that much.
‘Mavengana loved me. That man adored me as much as he hated me. And I loved him too. What was a woman to do when forced to share the love of her life with snakes that were as dangerous as her? They were just smart enough to confess and repent before they died; I didn’t…’
‘I needed to protect my lineage. To protect the gifts of my children and great-grandchildren and the only way to do that was to fight fire… with fire’
‘I admit. A lot of lives were destroyed in the process but the goal was achieved and that’s the most important thing out of this mess. Polygamy is not for the weak, especially if you’re going to be doing it with your enemies. But you wouldn’t know that because they made sure you don’t go through it the same way we did. That curse has been broken’
‘Mhan’ Xongi and Mhan’ Singi are not enemies though’
She laughs.
‘Come back to me after you’ve sat the both of them down and asked them to tell you the truth about what the foundation of their friendship is, if I can call it that if friendships can be built on graves’
What?
‘Whose graves?’
She dips her feet into the water as well. I feel like the tea that’s about to be spilt here is going to burn.
‘At some point, your father-in-law had a mistress…’ she sighs.
I am starting to wonder how many women that man had in his life.
‘He treated all of them like crap and it’s not like they did not know it. But when that woman came into his life, somehow he started softening up, to a point where he wanted to make her a wife. They saw that she was different – from both of them and the rest. She had him in the palm of her hand. The evil and severely abusive Edward turned into a marshmallow whenever Matimba was around. The could see that the smile was genuine so they decided that she had to go’
I can believe this about Mhani Hixongile but Masingita???
‘Singi was the first to try and kill Edward but she failed. She kept doctoring his meals but to her surprise, he’d wake up the next day. What she did not know about witchcraft is that the heart needs to be strong as the potion in terms of evil for it work. However, those meals are the reason he fell sick, then Xongi finished the job. Singi came into this as a timid little mouse but the environment wouldn’t allow her survival in that state. She no longer drinks the the pills she keeps collecting for hypertension because unlike her doctors, she knows very well that high blood has nothing to do with her health complications’
My jaw keeps dropping. Kurhula was right. If these people decide not to tell me some things, I won’t know or even see them.
‘If we sit here so I can fill you in on everything that has happened from way back, it will take us a month. Your heart is the reason why you were chosen because it can’t be defiled. Only light can drive out darkness. You, Kulani, are the yang to the very black shadows of my yin; the sun to my moon’
This is overwhelming.
‘History is not repeating itself; it is now self-cleansing. Kurhula is Mavengana’s reincarnate in every sense of the word’ she smiles.
‘The stubbornness. The business-mind. The protectiveness and everything else in between. He married his wife again so they can start afresh and fix all that was broken. That wife is you and you represent me, Mandilakhe. And this is why I am going to fight tooth and nail for you, for as long you live. I know your deepest desire and the mandate is for me to intercede on your behalf so that it comes true. Although you did not know me, you made sure not to let me down. Young as you are, you still did it. The ball is now in my court…’
I am a crying mess right now!
…
[MABONTLE]
Fikani has been watching me like a hawk and I am really not sure what’s up with him.
‘Can I have some of that?’ he asks, referring to my tea. Can he? I’m not sure.
‘Where did you even get that?’ he asks while I’m still reluctant to hand the mug over.
‘I got it from Mhan’ Singi’ I answer.
‘Since when do you drink herbs from newspapers baby? There’s an assortment of teas in the kitchen, different flavours and you choose to go with that one?’
Why is he looking at me like that and why is he mad? It’s just tea!
‘It helps with the milk’
‘We bought pumping devices for that and I’ve never heard you complain about not being able to produce milk’
If he goes on like this, he’s going to wake Vukosi up and then we’re gonna have a problem. His child is as stubborn as him and once he starts demanding attention, everything has to stop. I am too exhausted to be dealing with a grumpy baby at this time of the morning. Kuli is good with him but she’s locked herself up in her room since last night and she’s been refusing to come out. I don’t know what happened between her and her husband but I have never seen her that furious before. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s cheating because I have to live with a far much worse duplicate of him. I just hope he isn’t though because Kuli doesn’t need any of that.
‘Are you going to answer me any time soon?’ Fikani proceeds, wanting to stir up a fight. I put the mug on the pedestal and approach him. He needs to calm down.
‘Mlambya look—‘
‘Don’t put your hands on me till I’m sure of who you are’
‘What is that supposed to mean?’
‘Something is wrong with you, deeply wrong and I suspect it has everything to do with what you’re drinking in there’
We hear Mhan Singi laughing with Mhan Lulama in the corridor, talking about how AK is always losing socks at school. His teacher called me a couple of days ago when she couldn’t reach Kuli, wanting me to identify a pair she found behind the toilets. I saw the Paw Patrol and immediately confirmed that they were his. Why he takes them off? Beats me. Fikani is the one dropping him off today because he’s on his way out.
He opens my drawer and takes out the herbs. I try to take them from him but he holds them up – far up from me.
‘These things are messing with your head’ he says and marches to the bathroom.
‘Please stop! What are you doing?!’
He blocks my way as he empties the paper into the toilet, then flushes them down.
‘I don’t like what you just did’ I tell him, remembering that my approach should always be calm and respectful towards him.
‘See what I’m talking about? My Mabontle would’ve straight up looked me in the eye and asked what the fvck I think I’m doing if I did something she didn’t like!’ he bolts out of the room and I follow him because I can see that he’s about to cause trouble.
‘Mhan’ Singi!’ I hear him shout. Mhani Lulama immediately disappears when she sees him approach.
‘Son? What’s wrong?’
‘What did you do to my wife?’
Kuli appears, wearing her ancestral cloth and walking barefoot. Where is she coming from? Kurhula also comes out from the guest bedroom.
‘You’re making noise. Please keep your voice down’ Singi urges.
‘What’s happening?’
‘What do you mean what’s happening Kulani? Isn’t your job supposed to be protecting the throne?’
‘Now what you’re not going to do is yell at my wife like that’ Kurhula stands between Fikani and my sister.
‘This has nothing to do with you, Kurhula. Are you the healer here? Didn’t know the gift was sexually transmitted’
‘Motherf—‘
‘OKAY, OKAY!’ Mhan’ Singi is the now the one to stand between the twins, with both her hands raised. ‘Mlambya listen, this is our way of life. It’s what we do to make sure that this place doesn’t crumble. Your wife’s behaviour wasn’t impressive, at all. Something had to be done’
What does she mean by that?
Fikani is fuming.
‘By something you mean witchcraft?!’ he asks. Kurhula frowns. I don’t understand the look on Kuli’s face.
‘It is not witchcraft. All queens have to undergo a special process to ensure that they behave accordingly’
‘Kuli, is this true?’ I ask.
‘I’m sorry. You both know that if I am not given then permission to divulge information then I won’t. The decision is never mine to make’
I trusted her…
My tongue is tied. I can’t even find the words to confront her, or anybody else for that matter.
‘Did you ever stop to think about the fact that she’s breastfeeding? What if this nonsense affects my son?’ Fikani asks, directing this question to Mhan’ Singi.
‘It won’t, I’m sure of it. Why would I put the prince in danger? Listen, your wife defeats you. The only way you’ll see this is if you admit it. She almost killed you, right here. Am I lying?’
Fikani laughs.
‘I mean no disrespect but how does it make sense to you that the person standing behind me right now can physically defeat me? You’re standing in between me and my match right now because you know that once we start fighting you won’t be able to stop us. Look at her and humour me this: What makes you think that Bontle is stronger than Kurhula?’
‘I am not saying she is stronger than him. All I am saying is, you allow her to do as she pleases with you and we won’t have that. You are our king, respect is obligatory. From her and everyone else here’
I try to get him to walk away from all this and fail dismally.
‘Yimanyana baby please!’ he snaps at me too.
‘I am giving you till 6 O’clock in the evening to pack all your bags and get the hell out of here’ he says to Mhani and she immediately falls to his feet, on her knees.
‘Bro, don’t you think that’s too extreme?’ Kurhula says.
‘Don’t annoy me. I don’t tell you how to do things at your firm, right?’
‘I get that but to banish her?’
‘Son, please. I should’ve discussed this with you first, I’m sorry. Where will I go? This is my home’
‘You should’ve thought of that before wanting to turn my wife into a zombie! And you…’ he looks at Kulani. I can see Kurhula wanting to respond on her behalf but the upper arm squeeze from her seems to be keeping him on a leash.
‘Reverse this nonsense!’
She nods. I am trying to comfort Mhan’ Singi as she cries hysterically on the floor. Everyone has left. I’m not even sure why I am doing this after what she did to me, but seeing an old person cry is never a comfortable sight for me. This is taking me back to the time when I lost a patient. He was born disabled and eventually died at the age of 27. His mother lost it when we told her that her one and only child had left us and we did not know where to start trying with comforting her. That incident ruined my whole week. It made me question if I had the emotional stamina that practicing medicine requires.
‘I am really sorry. Please talk to him on my behalf n’wananga!’
‘I will try, mme. Please stop crying’ I wipe her tears with my hands. She’s still hysterical. I can hear my child crying as well.
‘I will try and talk to my husband. I need to go attend to Vukosi now’ I get up and run to the bedroom. He luckily calms down after I pick him up. I grab the bottle and try to open it with one hand. I eventually succeed and he sucks on it. The door opens and Fikani walks in. I hate that whenever he’s feeling stressed, he resorts to alcohol. He shouldn’t have brought that bottle into our bedroom.
He comes to sit next to me but on the floor, against the bed with his one leg raised.
‘I almost killed you that day’ I say, referring to the vase incident. I cringe whenever I think about it.
‘I’m still here, aren’t I?’
‘But things could’ve easily went south’
‘Then I would’ve died’ he shrugs.
‘Why are you so nonchalant about this whole thing?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You speak loosely about death and this is not the first time’ I put Vukosi down and gently tap his side a few times to make sure that he’s truly fallen asleep. I’ve already mastered the speed of picking him up when I see that he’s about to wreak havoc. I see it with the eye twitch. He’s back in my arms. His dad raises the cognac bottle to his mouth and takes a gulp. He has the sleeves of his white shirt folded. The cufflinks are probably lost and he’s going to want them from me. He was on his way to town before this whole drama erupted.
‘If you’ve lived a life like mine, ducking bullets and always having to sleep with one eye open, you reach a point where you decide that you want nothing to do with any of that turmoil. Then it becomes clear that death is not as scary as everyone thinks it is’
This conversation is making me uncomfortable but at the same time, it’s rousing my curiosity.
‘You sound like you’ve had many near death experiences’
He huffs. ‘Plenty’
‘I’ve had one, and till this day I still find it traumatic’
‘What happened?’
‘Car accident. I was a passenger in a friend’s car’
It was Vince. I was in Vince’s car but there’s no way in hell I am mentioning that name in this room.
‘I’m sorry to hear that’
‘It’s okay. Tell me more’
‘More of what?’ he’s so impatient with this exchange.
‘Your first near death experience. Let’s start there’
I am trying to get him to lighten up so I can beg him to let Mhan’ Singi stay. I don’t know if the approach is a good idea but I’m doing it anyway. He’s visibly thinking about an answer to my question.
‘I was still a teenager. Don had lost 33K worth of coke and blamed me. He wasn’t entirely wrong because it got lost in my possession but he wouldn’t hear it when I told him that Stone was trying to sabotage me’
‘Stone? Your best friend?’ I ask. He nods.
‘We weren’t always friends. We hated each other’s guts because we were vying for Don’s trust and attention’ he drinks. ‘Till we realized that he was always pinning us against each other, and it worked to his advantage’
‘What did he do when he found out that the bag was gone?’
‘Shot the whole place up and dared me to keep myself alive; to make sure that the bullet doesn’t reach my head. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I even peed on my pants’ he laughs. I don’t understand the kind of relationship he had with this Don character. He’s able to speak about him in a way of endearment with a hint of despise in his voice, giving two different perspectives of a father and his son, and Batman and The Joker.
‘Then what happened?’
He raises his face and looks at me.
‘He managed to lodge one in my stomach’ he says, with a smile I don’t quite comprehend.
‘He shot you?’
He nods.
‘Then refused when the gents came in and wanted to take me to the hospital. I was a minor and he knew that the police were gonna get involved’
I keep asking ‘Then what happened?’ after every pause.
‘He took the bullet out himself and that’s when our complicated relationship started, I guess. “Don’t you dare die on me, boy”, I always remember these words whenever the guilt of what I did to him starts eating me up. Don could’ve easily gotten rid of my body if he didn’t manage to save me that day but that’s the day that made me realize that somewhere in that steel heart of his, he cared and no man had ever loved me in the manner that he did’
I don’t know this man but knowing that Fikani had to off someone who was like a father-figure to him because of me has solidified some sort of guilt in me as well.
‘How does Tumi feature in all this?’
He never quite told me the story of him and Don’s daughter. He stands up from the floor and gives me a kiss on the cheek.
‘Let’s save that for another day’
After this, he leaves.